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A drunken interlude

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We had a big dinner all together and much fuss was made over the various heroics of everybody. Apparently Suki can defy gravity and climb up walls and do various other acrobatic things on a level we have only previously seen from Dippy-flippy (the friend of Gloomy Hairbuns and Subject's sociopathic sister.) Sokka and Subject have developed their own in-joke. It is something to do with failure and thinking things through. I do not understand why this is funny, but they find it hilarious.

It was very intense few days for my escapees with much ado and shennagins death- defying feats. There was an initial escape plan that Sokka pulled out of because he thought Dad might show up. Suki and Subject stayed with him even though it meant going back to their prison cells. Good thing too, because that escape attempt failed. Spectacularly.

Also, I was wrong earlier. It turns out Subject really did let Sokka lock him in a cooler. (?) I have many questions. Subject and Chit Sang staged a fight about grammar and he got locked up for an indeterminate period of time. Apparently coolers are giant ice blocks that are freezing. I asked Subject if he got very cold, but Subject replied that he used his firebending to keep himself warm. This seemed to alarm Chit Sang some what. And Chit Sang has been asking Subject if he feels okay repeatedly and giving Subject weird looks ever since. Subject is perplexed by this sudden concern for his welfare from Chit Sang, but says he feels fine. Chit Sang, I feel it must be said, is just a giant gorillabear of a person, who does not seem like he is prone to showing much concern for other people, so Subject's confusion is understandable.

After the failed attempt, there was much ado within the prison because my Dad showed up and a new plan had to be devised rather quickly. Sokka and Dad came up with a very flimsy escape plan involving a riot and a gondola and everyone just went along with this plan. Why? Possibly because nobody had any better plans. Subject got taken away to be interrogated by Gloomy Hairbuns at some point. Bloody Gloomy Hairbuns. Could Gloomy Hairbuns get Subject to talk? Using her gloomy wiles?

What are her gloomy wiles? What does she have up her sleeve?

Beside, you know, a ridiculous amount of knives.

What does Subject see in her? Is it her hairbuns? Her Gloominess?

Then Subject's sociopathic sister and Dippy-Flippy showed up and there was drama and shenanigans and fighting on gondolas and people nearly falling off gondolas and Wardens being douchebags. Sokka says we will have to send Gloomy Hairbuns a big thank you card and a fruit basket when the war is over. Apparently she was instrumental in helping them escape and without Gloomy Hairbun's contribution; everyone would have died a nasty, fiery, boily death. Subject's homicidal crazy sister tried to kill them all but was thwarted by Gloomy Hairbuns and her ridiculous amount of knives. She and Gloomy Hairbuns have come to blows. Subject is most worried about Gloomy Hairbuns and doing that woe-is-me-thing that he does when he feels guilty. Apparently he locked her in a cell at some point and they have broken up for sure, but she still tried to save him. And this warrants much lamenting from Subject.

The kids went to bed and we all went to the top level of the temple, near the orchard, so as not to wake them with drunken shennagins. Chit Sang got out the Sake so everyone could celebrate properly. Dad said I couldn't have any sake. Boo. I have missed my father very much but right at that moment I was cross with him. Why is Sokka allowed to get drunk and I am not? Dad's said it was because I was still his little girl. Right! As if that explains anything!

Suki and Subject both sneaked me sips of their drinks though, so I am feeling a bit merry at this present moment. Suki however, said she wouldn't drink much, out of girl-solidarity with me! Go Suki. So we will both be in better shape than any of the menfolk tomorrow, some of whom are going to be sad, hungover pandas tomorrow.

They played a drinking game about who had been in prison the longest. Chit sang won (two years) followed by Suki (a few months) then Subject (a few days) and then my father (one night). Subject claimed that Sokka shouldn't count because he got to masquerade as a guard and didn't have to get beaten up/ locked in coolers and all the various other things the prisoners had to put up with. The other prisoners agreed. Sokka protested. A small argument ensued.

Subject and Chit Sang had a drunken firebending duel for reasons I cannot fathom. It had something to do with what happened in prison. A rematch, I think. Drunken Subject was convinced he would have won that fight if they had been really fighting. Chit Sang who is the size of six Subjects put together was doubtful. So they had to have a duel right then and there to settle it like manly men. Surprisingly, Subject won, even though he was very drunk and Chit Sang sat on him at one point. That was most hilarious. Chit Sang stopped worrying about how Subject was feeling promptly after this duel. Because Subject kicked his arse.

Sokka and Subject both are two-pot-screamers, it must be said. They were more than a little wankered and had starting slumping against each other and were talking very deeply and meaningfully about honor and planning ahead and not planning ahead and failure and their place in the universe. Suki and I could not follow their conversation but it seemed to make sense to them. I went over and started talking to my Dad. I can't believe he's really here and I just wanted to talk to him all night to be sure. It is so great to have him here. Even if he doesn't let me have Sake, I still love him and I've missed him so much.

Suki and Chit Sang had an argument over whether it was tougher in the woman's or the men's prison. Both sound extremely rough and violent to me.

There was a sing-song with much swaying. We taught everyone a few water tribe chants and ballads and Suki regaled us with a Kyoshi Island tune (about how Avatar Kyoshi was a total fan-wielding-badass) and Chit Sang and Subject sang a few firenation songs. Most of them were about the sun and how lovely/shiny/awesome it was. Chit Sang has a pleasant singing voice. As does Suki. And very surprisingly, so does Subject. I started singing the secret tunnel song, just to annoy Sokka and everyone else joined in. It was great.

After the sing-song Dad declared everyone should get off to bed. Sokka and Subject, being the idiots they are, struggled with this instruction. Sokka complained that it wasn't because he was drunk, it was just because his feet weren't listening to him. Subject beckoned me over and whispered quite conspiratorially at me: I think I might be a little drunk, but don't tell Katara. She'd be mad. I tried to explain to Subject that I was Katara, I had already figured out that he was drunk (it was no secret) and that I was more amused than maddened by him at this stage in the evening, but I would quickly get mad with him if he didn't get his arse downstairs. This had some success in getting Subject moving. Subject valiantly tackled the stairs with less success.

There were many stairs to get down and the boys' progress was initially quiet slow and giggly and stumbly until Chit Sang got a bit fed up with them. He walked over to Subject and lifted him bodily up and over his shoulder and started carrying him down the stairs and gestured for Dad to do the same to Sokka. Dad complied. Sokka was cool with it and sort of drunkenly snuggled against dad in quite an affectionate manner. Subject, however, struggled and flailed a fair bit at the start and exclaimed many times various phrases like: Put me down you big oaf and honestly I'd prefer to walk! and I'm not that drunk. None of us believed him about that last one. We had all seen him singing, after all.

Eventually he settled down and leaned his elbows against Chit Sang's back and looked up and chatted with me (as I was right behind Chit Sang at this point) in a very drunk and friendly manner. He kept commenting on how weird it was to be carried. Apparently no one has carried Subject anywhere since he was sevenish. Unless he was unconscious at the time and Subject doesn't think those times should count. Sokka shouted from Dad's shoulder that he'd count those times anyway. Subject started trying to figure out how many times he's been knock unconscious but lost track at 14. 14 times! No wonder Subject is such an idiot sometimes. He has obviously given himself brain damage at some point.

It was a most unusual conversation. I have never previously conversed with Subject when he was at such an unusual angle or in such a pleasant and easy-going mood. It won't last. Tomorrow he is going to be so hung over it is not even funny.

Well, it is a little funny for me.

Maybe a lot funny.

I may clang some pots loudly near his door early tomorrow and see what he does.

Chit Sang dropped him on his arse by the fountain and said that his job was done and he was going to bed. Dad however, tucked Sokka in like he was a little kid again. It was quite sweet. I showed Suki to her room which is next to Toph's. I walked past the kids rooms. They were all still asleep, so that is good. I was worried that they would be awoken by the antics of upstairs. Aang went to bed so early in anticipation of the intense firebending session that he is sure will happen as soon as the sun rises.

He was complaining about how much Subject is going to make him do tomorrow, but I think secretly he is very happy that Subject is back to boss him around and teach him things. However I think he is being a bit optimistic about having a sunrise training session with Subject tomorrow. I just don't think that is very likely at this point.

Gah! I cannot believe I did this. I am embarrassed to even write this. But when I got back to the fountain I found Subject sprawled against it quite contentedly. Evidently he hadn't moved since I had been gone. I helped him up and made him drink a big glass of water. Apparently it's always about water with me, according to Subject in his drunken state. I would not say I tucked him in. I only made sure he made it to his bed. Even though Subject infuriates me most of the time, I do know that it is largely because of him that I have my Dad with us now. I couldn't just leave him sprawled against a fountain like a struggling starfish after that.

Things I learned about Subject:

Subject cannot hold his Sake. Neither can Sokka.

Subject is a soppy, affectionate drunk, who is prone to singing and deep and meaningful talks but still retains his Subjectness and gets a bit feisty and wants to fight people, even if they are six times his size.

Subject (while drunk) is capable of beating a gorillabear man six times his size, as long as they are also drunk. He performs this feat even after he has been sat on by the gorillabear man. Most impressive.

Subject, (while drunk) has declared that my Dad is the coolest dad ever. I beg to differ. I love my dad, but he, like Subject, is not at all cool.

Subject has not been carried, by anyone, since he was sevenish. He finds the sensation extremely bizarre. And comments on it frequently.

Subject has been hit on the head more times than I think is good for him.

-!-

The next day…

-!-

Clanged pots. Subject was displeased and confused, but got up and just struggled his way through the morning.

Subject is disgustingly hungover.

I would stalk him but he hasn't moved from the kitchen table in about three hours. He sits there with his head flat on the table, muttering about how he will never drink again. Subject definitely cannot hold his liquor like the others. Even Sokka has recovered better than Subject. Sokka was in the same position as Subject, sprawled on the kitchen table, for two hours. But he has recovered somewhat by now.

Subject, however, is just being really clumsy and woozy and bitchy at the moment. Sokka and Dad are teasing him for being a lightweight. But Chit Sang is showing some concern, but this is counteracted somewhat by the fact that he sat on Subject in their duel last night.

Aang has been regaling us (mostly Sokka and Subject) with some air nomad wisdom about drinking. Don't do it! Just say no! etc. This is not nearly as helpful to Subject in his current predicament as Aang seems to think it is. Aang has taken to poking Subject with his glider to encourage Subject to get up and teach him things. Subject would pathetically wave him off to no affect. I had to sternly discourage Aang from this and tell him that Subject would teach him as soon as he was able, but glider poking would not speed up that process.

-!-

I have made Subject several teas that apparently are meant to be good for curing hangovers. Subject says I must be brewing it wrong because his hangover remains. I got a bit shouty with Subject about him insulting my tea brewing capabilities and how he brought this situation on himself. Subject made many pathetic silencing gestures in my direction so I toned down the volume, but the message remained the same. I tried to see if water bending healing works on hangovers. It does not.

I started cooking lunch and Subject made a disgusted face and left to escape the sight and smell of it.

Subject has decided to be useful and start training Aang again. Aang was most anxious to learn things now that his sifu was back, which is a rare mood for Aang.

-!-

Training unsuccessful. Apparently Aang's fire is 'too bright'.

Subject is displeased with Aang's lack of progress and with himself for not teaching Aang more self discipline and firebending. He is too hungover to deal with it in his usual Subject-y fashion (ie. Getting cross and having a bit of a shout.) So he just told Aang that they would start at sunrise tomorrow and Aang should practice leaping tiger form and the bending bamboo defense before the morning. Then he hungover-ed off to have a nap. With almost no prompting/nagging from me.

The apocalypse is upon us!

-!-

Went up to get Subject for dinner, but he said he still felt too hungover to eat. Well, what he actually said was much more grumpy and mumbly, but I got the message.

No more sake for Subject.

Ever.

-!-

Things I have learned about Subject.

Subject is even more grumpy than usual when hung over. I did not think it was possible.

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Time for another frighteningly long authors note:

Hello lovely readers, you've reached the end of a drunken interlude! Congratulations! I hope you enjoyed it. I know it was only really Sokka and Zuko getting wankered and everyone else getting a bit tippy. But I reckon Hakoda and Chit Sang can totally hold their sake, so they would have consumed a vast quantity and still been okay. But I think neither Sokka or Zuko would have gotten a bit drunk before so they don't have much tolerance for the evils of Sake. Suki and Katara will experiment with larger quantities of Sake together, in a later chapter, so this was not the time for them to get drunk.

Everybody drinking: I just thought it would be really nice for everyone to blow off a bit of steam and relax a bit and to see another, alcohol soaked side to the Zuko parfait. I mean, he never once just relaxed and chilled out in the series, so I wanted to give him a fun night in fic. I don't think Zuko would have ever had the opportunity to have a few beverages with friends and feel really happy and included before this. Even in the beach, he's uncomfortable in group situations. He's definitely a core part of the prison escapees group and feels welcome with them and I thought it would be nice for him to just have one night to relax.

Sokka also, I think has never had a night like this. He was thirteen when his dad left and was the only guy around his age in his village and even then Katara was the only other person close to his age. I think I wanted Sokka to have a night to celebrate his own brilliance and to just do things a normal 16 year old boy would get up to, like getting a bit wankered with his bestie.

Ooh, I should probably explain that. Wankered means slightly beyond drunk in my part of the world. When you are wankered, you are at the drunk stage where karaoke seems like a fantastic idea.

In my imagination:

Zuko is a cross between the soppy drunk and the chuck Norris drunk (ooh the chuck Norris drunk is the guy who thinks he's chuck Norris when he's drunk.)

Sokka is a snuggly, lets have a deep and meaningful talk drunk.

Hakoda, I don't think is intentionally being a double standard jerkface about Katara having Sake. I think Hakoda is a great dad. But he's a papa bear and she's still his little girl and he doesn't want to see her getting tipsy. Also, it just seemed like sexism was quite ingrained in the water tribes and even more enlightened guys like Hakoda would have lapses. Also Katara is a bit younger and hasn't just escaped from prison, so no sake for her.

It also made sense to me that Zuko and Suki would slip her a few sips, because Hakoda's not their dad and she is their friend.

Zuko is also quite perplexed by the functional father-children relationship that Hakoda has with his kids. I think this is probably a first for him, witnessing at such close proximity how a loving dad does care for his kids. That's why he thinks Hakoda is the coolest person ever.

I'm hinting at something this chapter that will become more important in the next chapter.

Something bugged me when I watched the boiling rock again, which then turned into an idea that I thought was good enough to make it into this Fic. Chit Sang is a firebender and when he gets thrown in the cooler on the show, the other guard made a comment like "he wont be firebending in there." But there is actually nothing to physically stop them from bending. Zuko was able to bend when he got thrown in there. However when they let Chit Sang out he is clearly frozen and hasn't been using his firebending to keep himself warm. Why is this?

I think there was a huge disincentive with firebending in the coolers. To find out what it is, you will have to wait my lovely readers….

Big thanks to all my reviewers! You know I love reading your views/comments so thanks so much!