I woke up at six Sunday morning to see a text from Edward. I quickly sat up to answer it.

I need your help, babe- E

What's wrong, you want me to come over? -B

I need you to help me get rid of Tanya…-E

You're on your own- B

Baby, please?- E

No –B

Please? I'll love you forever- E

I thought you already did-B

Of course I do, but please? I'll make it up to you… ;)-E

"You know who I hate?" Tanya said sloppily.

"No." I said in hopes that she'd shut up. She put a hand on my shoulder to steady herself as she slipped on a strappy stiletto.

"Lauren Mallory." She huffed and I lifted an eyebrow. The women were extremely close, all through high school, we all were. But I'd since broken off and they were just spotted hanging out the day before by tabloids.

"I thought you and Lauren were friends." I blurted and she cackled loudly. Edward rounded a corner with wide eyes, still in his boxers. He gave us a weird look before yanking on a t-shirt he held in his hand.

"Oh no. And now she's poor so I don't have to fake it anymore." She smiled widely and pulled a hair tie I'd brought for myself off of my wrist and put her hair up in a sloppy bun. "Kind of like when you lost it all." I rolled my eyes and Edward winced.

"I never lost anything."

"Anyway, her parents-" She stopped and held her stomach as her eyes grew twice their size. "I'm going to puke." She moaned, I pulled her over to Edward's sink and turned my head away as the rotten smelling shit she'd consumed came back up. "Her parents lost it all now she works for the club so that they can get discounted memberships and stuff! So stupid. Like we know poor people when we see them." She laughed loudly and burped before leaning over the sink again and throwing up.

I turned to Edward with narrowed eyes and he held up his hands as if to pray. "I'll love you forever." He mouthed.

"You can't do this why?" I asked silently and he mimicked doing shot for shot, making me roll my eyes. "You owe me." I mouthed and he nodded. I let Tanya throw up for a while and grabbed the keys to Edward's Volvo off of the key board next to his cupboard.

"Woah, what if she barfs?" Edward asked grabbing the other end of the key chain.

My eyes widened at the audacity. "What if you just paid for a cab for her?"

He bit his lip, "I was going to-"

"I don't take cabs." Tanya said before hurling into the sink again.

"And I wanted to see you, Bellsy." He smiled and batted his eyelashes before grabbing my chin and pecking my lips.

"You stink." I said wrinkling my nose and pushing him away. He smelled like old booze and sweat.

"Jeeze, I knew you were a player Cullen, but this is a little quick isn't it? I mean I haven't even left the house." Tanya moaned from over the sink.

"It's not like that, Tanya." He sighed and I rolled my eyes, pushing him away from me.

"You think if I were romantically interested in him I'd be driving your skank ass home?" I asked, pulling Edward's keys free. "Let's go before I decide to leave you." I sighed walking towards the garage door.

"Eddie…" Tanya whimpered, I heard him slowly drag his feet to her before returning behind me. I opened the door and let him slide her in. He helped her buckle her seatbelt and let her kiss his cheek before pulling out and slamming the door closed.

"Thank you so much."

"Yeah… Yeah…"

"I love you," He sang, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my cheek.

"This is why people always think I'm a recurring notch in your belt." I sighed, hugging him back anyway as a smile tugged at my lips.

"Aren't you?" He asked kissing my cheek again. I rolled my eyes and pushed him away.

"Get in the car and shut up."

"Woah, I'm not going." He said pulling back quickly and holding his hands above his head. "I dealt with her for a night, that's long enough."

"Yeah, and you got a happy ending. I don't even get a tip. Get in the car or I'm totaling it."

He raised his eyebrows. "I'll buy another."

"Isn't this the same one you've had since high school? It'd be a shame if-" He huffed and ripped open the back door, ducking into the backseat. I smirked and walked around the car to get in. They both groaned as the old ass car roared to life, then again as the garage creaked open. I backed out of the drive way quickly and let down the sunroof, letting light in.

"I should have known you weren't going to make this easy on us." Edward sighed, laying across the backseat and burying his face in the seat.

"You might want to watch out for stray jizz on that, babe." I told him, "This was your personal love shack back in the good ole days." I teased; he groaned and pushed himself into a sitting position, glaring at me in the mirror.

"So much sex…" He whispered holding his head. I chuckled and drove onto the highway, the one always filled with bad drivers and impatient assholes who felt the need to honk every few seconds. "Bella… no…" I laid on the horn as I got cut off and Edward let out a groan while Tanya decided to start crying. After a few minutes of her banshee wails I took the closest exit and took some back streets on the way to her mansion.

"Why do you hate me?" Edward asked as I headed down the suburban street sectioned off with speed bumps. Tanya moaned something about her need to throw up and Edward shoved a bag at her.

"I love you, dear. Why would you ask that?" I asked sweetly as I tuned onto a smoother street. A few windy roads later and I arrived at the Denali Mansion's gate. I rolled down my window and spoke to their butler over the intercom.

"Yes, Gerard, she's wasted." I said, feigning concern for the hooker. The little uptight man on the screen nodded and the gates creaked open.

"Edward, aren't you going to help me up the stairs?" Tanya asked as she pushed open her door. He nodded and I watched as he got out and wrapped an arm around her waist, helping her up the steps. They both moved slowly and winced like hell, I couldn't tell but it looked like she started crying at the end.

"Don't ever ask me to take anyone you slept with home again." I said pointing at him when he opened the passenger door. He nodded and held out his pointer finger, locking it with mine.

"Promise… but uh," His head lolled back as he looked at me. "Does it make you jealous?" He asked lifting an eyebrow.

Maybe.

"No. But I'm not your personal servant." I rolled my eyes.

"I can make it up to you." He reached out and put his hand on my knee, caressing it slowly. I watched his hand, and kept myself from scooting towards it. A slow tingle spread from his hand up my thigh until I was mildly aroused.

By his hand.

Fuck my life.

It would be much easier if my best friend didn't radiate sex. Even better than that if he wasn't so handsy. I bit my lip as his hand moved slowly up my thigh, painfully slow. As much as I wanted him to continue, it was pretty obvious things wouldn't end well.

I wasn't planning on letting that happen again.

"You're going to sing the Star Spangled Banner to me?" I asked with wide eyes. Edward's English ways were something he was desperately trying to keep. Little things that faded away with every year he'd been in America, such as his accent, were worrisome. He was insistent that he was the same Englishman now that he was when he first moved here.

His family moved to Washington when he was five.

"I can sing God Save the Queen." He said giving me an irritated look.

"No you can't…" I said with a mock pout. He opened his mouth with a determined look before his eyebrows furrowed.

"Damn it!" I nodded and he groaned. "I was thinking of something else anyway." I bit my lip as my attempt to side track him failing miserably. His hand slid dangerously higher and I gasped. I grabbed his wrist and he leaned over in his seat, nuzzling my neck. My eyes slid shut as his soft, full lips pressed against my neck. I'd successfully stopped his hand mid-thigh and he choose to massage it, letting his fingers slide up higher.

"Dude, we haven't even left the last ones property…" I said with a start as I pushed his hand away. I moved away from that delicious mouth of his and he furrowed his eyebrows.

"I didn't sleep with Tanya, babe." He said huskily as he leaned back just enough to meet my eyes. "I don't really know what happened… I just know that even drunk I wouldn't hit that with a ten foot pole."

"Hey, it isn't my business." I held up my hands and started up the car so he didn't get me naked in the driveway.

"Just letting you know." He smirked and searched my eyes before sitting back in his seat, seemingly satisfied by what he saw. "So how'd your date go last night?" He asked as his jaw started to tick.

"It was okay." I shrugged, gripping the steering wheel.

"Just okay?"

"Yeah. We went to this fancy restaurant and had a bottle of wine before he took me home and we had mucho sexy sex." I rolled my eyes but he wasn't looking at me so I don't think the sarcasm got across.

"Fun."

"Not as much fun as you and Tanya apparently had." I said before turning onto the freeway. Edward shifted in his seat and leaned the chair all the way back, tossing an arm over his forehead.

"Oh yeah, we had a ball. She came over bitching about how she needed a boyfriend and insisted that we get drunk and go bareback." My eyes widened and I winced in disgust. "Of course we only got drunk and made out for a while… Then I think I passed out." I was sarcastic because things didn't really ever happen that way for me. Shit like his night happened more frequently than not for him though.

"Just like high school." I shook my head.

"Except no one wanted to have my babies in high school." He shivered and I chuckled and patted his thigh.

"You'd think so, but I'm sure there's an Edward Jr. out there somewhere."

"Eh, I wasn't that bad… There were only… four? And that was all four years." He shrugged and I shook my head.

"You were a virgin until Prom junior year, Edward. So it's kind of a year and a half."

"Well, I'm sure you were worse. You little sex demon you."

"Oh yeah. There was that one time- Oh I mean that only time." I laughed as I took the exit to my apartment.

"Where are we going?" He asked, sitting his seat up.

"My place."

"Oh baby!" He turned to me with excitement in his eyes and my heart skipped a beat.

"Not for that," I rolled my eyes and he pouted. "I'm not sleeping with you, Edward." He deflated a little and sat back.

"You're going to sleep this off, without cat hair or whatever the hell you call it."

"Uh, don't put your spinster twist on it, B. It's hair of the dog. And it helps." He whined as I pulled into the complex's driveway.

"Sleep works just as well."

"Will you cuddle with me?" He pouted and I sighed, my heart fluttering naturally.

"Fine."

"Can we-"

"I'm not getting naked with you."

"Fine…" He bit his lip as I parked and sat back to look at him. "What if only I got naked and you can do with that what you will?" He smiled and I widened my eyes, nodding with faux excitement.

"Oh gee, can we?!" He pursed his lips and pushed open the car door.

"I'm surprised you'd bring me over so soon. Isn't your hot date still up there?"

"Oh yeah, I was going to let you sleep on the couch. He's in the bedroom. It should work out." I stepped out of the car and he took a while before finally getting out and joining me on the side walk.

"Bella?" He asked stopping in his tracks, I stopped too and looked up at him in confusion. "I'm not wearing pants." I looked down to see his boxers and raised my eyebrows. "Stop staring at my dick." He cupped himself and scurried ahead of me, through the building doors. I laughed and jogged after him so that I could let him in before my older neighbor got a pleasant surprise.

We reached the door quickly and I unlocked it, pushing it open for him. But like the gentleman he was he waited for me to enter first. I moseyed on in and he surveyed the apartment, his eyes flicking over every object in the room.

"This doesn't look like a room subjected to tons of hot sex." He observed. I lifted an eyebrow and plopped down on the couch.

"Oh it doesn't? Hmm, I was sure we wrecked everything after he dropped me off at the door with my bag of Wendy's." I sighed, biting my thumbnail as I turned on the television.

"Oh, babe…" I looked up to see him wearing an exhilarated smile before he wiped it off to pout at me. "Did that really happen?" I nodded and shrugged.

"He was an ugly asshole anyway." I turned back to face the tv and folded my legs Indian style.

"I would have brought ice cream if I knew it sucked." He said, his voice much farther than it was a second ago. I turned to see that he'd disappeared into my bedroom. "Where are my sweatpants?" He yelled.

"They're in the laundry room, on the washer." I said blushing as he walked past me to the small closet like room.

"Why are they in here?"

"I wore them the other night." He turned to wiggle his eyebrows at me. The look made me panic and turn my gaze to my lap. He didn't know that I'd had my own happy ending last night, in those pants… and hopefully he never would.

"Okay." He tugged them on and yanked his t-shirt over his head. I bit my lip involuntarily as he revealed every gorgeous inch of his ripped torso. I couldn't help but eye-rape the shit out of him from his broad shoulders, down the six pack abs to the deep V that disappeared into the sweatpants he wore. By the time I was done he was staring back at me with a smirk.

"I know right?" He lifted an arm to flex and winked at me.

"Eh, it's okay." I shrugged, trying to play off my awe. He chuckled and sauntered over to the couch, dropping down next to me and pulling me into his arms. I pushed away from him, accidentally feeling up his firm stomach as I did. "You need to put on a shirt. And take a shower."

"You just want to see me wet." He said tapping my chin, getting up anyway. "Lucky for you, I'm here to please."

`-/~/-`

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