Chapter 8

Looking for Mr. Goodbar

Kenna Speaks:

I know I must have seemed like a cheap two bit whore, sleeping with House and his best friend, enticing House into having sex just to conduct sexual experiments and experience multiple orgasms, but I'd spent my whole life buried in books or cow dung and here was something very enjoyable that didn't cost money. I was in hog heaven.

When I look back, I have to laugh at Doug. He was one of those men who really think they are Gods in bed. I've discovered that surgeons, fighter pilots, judges, and politicians tend to have magical thinking— they believe they can just look at you and you'll come. It must have something to do with power.

Lucky for me, my first experience had been with Greg or I would have probably thought an orgasm was the relief you get when a fat man rolls off of you. Greg knew a woman's anatomy like the back of his hand and every woman who shares his bed should be grateful.

When I arrived in Baltimore that semester, I didn't like Greg at all. He was caustic and cruel to me but then he started to send mixed messages. He would say horrible, mean things but then do things that were out of sync with his words, confusing me completely. I didn't have much to laugh at growing up. But Greg made me laugh more in one night at the dinner table than I had laughed my entire life. He had so many interesting tales about his life compared to my lame existence. I was always enthralled and captivated by his stories. I didn't love him, but I liked him and I felt safe with him. I knew he'd be blunt and truthful with me and I valued that.

Looking back I can see how frantic and out of control I was in the beginning, with sex that is. It was occupying my thoughts more than it should have. I had trouble concentrating on my dissertation and my lab work. I would dream about it every night. I had the same disturbing dream each night. Doug and I were sitting on a couch French kissing. He would touch and caress me as my excitement grew. We'd retire to the bedroom, I'd turn to put my watch on the night stand and then, when I turned back to him, Greg was in bed with me. Instead of being shocked or surprised, I was excited, even more aroused than before. Greg would make love to me, making me scream and wriggle and never want to get out of bed. It was a disturbing dream because I always felt unfaithful to Doug.

The week after my date with Doug was busy for me at school. I had to meet with my dissertation chair, who reminded me of Chewbaca because he seemed to be covered in a thick layer of hair and he spoke with a high hoarse voice. He was obviously blown away by my research, but he could tell that I was distracted, because he asked me what was wrong, I wasn't myself lately. He also noticed my new look and started hitting on me. I admit, it was very threatening to me; I wasn't used to men taking a sexual interest in me. I didn't know how to respond to the looks from the nerds in the lab. All of a sudden they were asking if I needed any help or wanted to go out for lunch. I caught one of them staring at my breasts under my peasant top. When I tried to redirect his eyes up to mine, it was like gravity took them right back down to the objects of his affection.

By Thursday I hadn't received a call from Doug and so I confronted Greg, "What did he say? What did you say? Is he going to call me?"

"I feel like I'm in a bad episode of Looking for Mr. Goodbar. Hell if I know. For God's sake, you didn't exactly give him a reason to call you, did you?"

"What do you mean? I gave him three really good reasons to call me. Believe me; he won't forget the three good ones I gave him."

"Yeah, but Doug can have three good ones with just about any nurse at the hospital and they won't tell him what a lousy lover he is."

"I didn't say he was a lousy lover."

Greg rolled his eyes and gave me a look. "Give me a break."

"To hell with that. I don't need Doug." I stormed off and Greg went back to reading a medical journal. I went upstairs, tried to read but spent most of the evening pouting. Saturday night I was devastated that Doug hadn't called to ask me out again. I cried most of the night wishing I had never discovered sex. I heard Greg come home with a woman and it broke my heart. I wanted to talk to someone-I wanted to talk to him. I opened the door and tried to listen. She had one of those high voices, all giggles and dripping with flattering clichés. I was standing out by the banister in my panties and thermal top, not giving a rat's ass what I looked like. I decided that I would go down and grab a glass, no a bottle, of wine to keep from feeling the pain of Doug's rejection. I saw Greg climbing the stairs to his bedroom with the brunette in tow. He looked up at me and saw that my eyes were red. He mouthed the words, "Are you ok?" I nodded yes. They walked past me and into the bedroom. House looked back at me from the doorway. I gave him a rather pitiful smile to let him know it was ok. He closed the door. After that night, I decided that I would never cry over a man again. I was young and didn't know how many men I would meet.

My career counselor and the entire Neuroengineering faculty told me that I should stay and obtain my medical degree since it would take less than a year to complete. In their words, I'd be "a triple threat." I would be a Neuroengineer, a doctor and a woman in a man's field. My advisor informed me I would be receiving a Carnegie Scholarship if I decided to go through med school. In other words, I had a free ride through med school. The great thing about the Carnegie Scholarship is that it also pays living expenses and for texts. I could continue to work if I wanted, but it would be difficult. I'm a sucker for learning. The idea of another year of education, free education, was too tempting for me. I said yes.

Greg and I didn't see each other for over a week because of our respective schedules. I made dinners to reheat or took out some dinners I had frozen. The following Wednesday night, when I knew he would be home early, I made tacos and enchiladas for dinner, something easy. When Greg was settled at the table I told him, "I'm going to become a doctor. I just received the Carnegie Scholarship to obtain my doctorate in medicine. It pays everything and gives me $1500 a month to live on. I went to Hopkins to discuss my hospital bill and they told me what you've been doing. I'll pay you back, I promise. I renegotiated with them. They're going to let me continue to pay $150 a month until I get out of med school."

House stood with a beer half way up to his lips listening to what I had to say. "Are you just getting the degree or actually going to become a doctor?"

"I'm not sure."

"What was going on with you the other night on the landing?"

I gave him a tough, brave look, "Nothing, absolutely nothing."

"Give me a break...you were crying your eyes out because Doogie didn't call you."

I hated that he could read me. "Yeah, he didn't call me. I'm over it now."

He said very casually, "Hey. I've got a dinner thing to attend on Friday. Would you like to go with me?"

"A date?"

"A thing. You'll get to meet and size up some of your med school professors."

"A date?"

"No, not a date. I just don't want to take a nurse-too cliché. And I don't want to have to worry about impressing a date."

"That makes sense, too much sense. I can't go though because I don't have a dress."

He smiled, "We'll get you one. As long as it doesn't cost an arm and a leg."

"I know a consignment store where I can get dresses cheaper."

"How much do you need to get a dress? I'm hoping it's a skimpy one so it should cost less, you know, not as much material needed."

"What type of dress do I need?"

"Cocktail."

"I can get one for probably $50 at the consignment shop."

"Here, here's $150, go buy a new one." I must have looked stunned because he laughed. "You look like you just got stuck with a cattle prod. Gettalong doggie."

"That's a lot of money for one dress."

"No it isn't. Just get a dress." He sounded frustrated and bored with the conversation.

I went to the consignment shop anyway and found a great Oscar de La Renta cocktail dress for $70 and a pair of shoes to go with it for $10. I bought some jewelry, black stockings and then I bought a black wool swing coat for $30 so that I didn't have to wear the parka over the dress. I had $25 left over and put it on the table for him.

He got home and looked at the money lying on the table and said, "Well show me what you got."

"No, you get to see it Saturday. Now sit down, I've got tuna casserole tonight."

He moaned, "Oh God, no. I bet it even has peas in it."

I stopped midstream with the hot casserole dish in my oven gloved hand, "Wait, you never said you didn't like tuna casserole."

"Uhh...it's just that it was a staple around our house and I got really bored of it. It's ok, I can eat it. I'm hungry, I could eat anything right now."

"Gregory House, you better eat it, I slaved over a hot stove for you."

"Jesus! You even sound like my Mom."

"Tell me what the plans are for Saturday so that I know when I should be ready for you to gallop up on your white horse and pick me up."

He gave me a look like I was nuts. "Be ready by 5;30 p.m., cocktails are at 6:00 p.m. and since it's an open bar I want to be there early. We'll be taking a cab over and a cab back."

I was half hoping that Doug would call and ask me out so that I could thumb my nose at Greg, but he didn't. I didn't cry when he didn't call- I just got pissed. Saturday arrived and after showering and putting on my panties, I put on my makeup, dressed in my nylons and garter belt and then put my dress on. It was an emerald green satin halter top with a plunging neckline that had an excellent effect of displaying my girls perfectly. The dress had a slightly darker green satin belt with a fake diamond studded buckle. The skirt followed my body closely and came to four inches above my knee. I put my hair back in a French chignon like Tippi Hedrin wore in Marni.

I heard Greg growl, "We need to get going sometime in this century...please make your debut Miss Scarlet. I put on my high heels. grabbed my coat, did one more pass with the lipstick and started down the steps. He was standing by the front door with his coat on over his dark blue suit. He looked up at me, shook his head slowly and smiled. "What the hell did I get myself into?" He kept shaking his head.

I handed him my coat to help put on. "What do you mean?"

"It means that for the next two weeks I'm going to be asked, "Who was that redhead with you?""

"I don't know what you mean."

He leaned down and got right in my face, "Oh you do know what I mean, so don't play coy with me. You look like a million bucks. Now aren't you glad you bought a new dress?"

I didn't say anything, I just smiled at him.