When saying he would be mine, I didn't mean in a way that suggested I would just prance in there and start giving him a free lap dance, no. This was going to be as confusing for him as it was for me!

As I glanced at the open door, I debated going out and snatching his phone up or just asking him politely. Hell, this was Gotham.

I walked through the doorway, right up to his desk and snatched the cell phone out of his hand.

"I was playing Sudoku!" He exclaimed affronted.

"That's nice" I said, already halfway to my room. Only a few more steps-

"No you don't!" A hand grabbed my arm and spun me around. "How do I know you won't alert Gordon."

"How would I know his number?"

"Everyone knows 911!" Something vague clicked in my mind that said batman should have saved me by now, but I didn't pay any attention. If he was going to ignore me, I was going to ignore him. I would get out of this jam in my own time.

"How about you monitor me?" I suggested, a teasing note in my voice. He narrowed his eyes but walked with me into my room.

"Who are you calling anyway?" He was trying to sound leisurely.

I flashed him a grin and put the phone up to my ear.

"Harley. You wanna see girl talk?" I felt the back wind of his coat as he raced out the door. I smirked and waited for her to pick up. But instead of Harley, I think Ivy answered.

"What is it this time, Nigma? Need bondage equipment?"she snarled.

My mouth hung open in shock. Bondage-huh?

"What?" I exclaimed. There was a scuffling on the other end of the line as a blush rose to my cheeks at what Ivy was thinking getting a call from Edward. Bondage equipment?

A voice in the background was screaming for some reason as I tried not to think about it too much.

"Gimme the phone, Red I wanna talk to her!" It sounded like the phone dropped.

"Bethy? How he treating you? Ya want me and Red to come over there?"Harley's accent drawled.

"Actually that's what I was calling about-"

"Ooh goody! We'll be right over!"

"Wait!" I said quickly. "Could you pick up a few things for me in the way of clothes?"

Harley's voice went up a whole octave at the prospect.

"SHOPPIN'! Waddaya need?"

"Um..." I hesitated. I needed an expert on this. "Can I talk to Ivy?"

"I can hear you, baby." Must have been on speaker phone.

I gave them a quick once over and tried to keep it down. God forbid he actually hear about this. The ass would probably find a way to flip it for his use. When I got to the bottom of my mental list my voice was so low I kept having to repeat it for them to hear and I tought my whole face was as red as the sun on a hot day in the Sahara. I hung up with the sound of their girlish cackles ringing in my ears. Lord, I hoped I had enlisted this kind of help in the right people.

When I shuffled out I looked around for my victim I didn't see a trace. There was the sound of running water from the bathroom, maybe he was taking a shower. He should have known better.

An evil smile spread across my face and I snuck to his giant wall of monitors. Flopping down into his chair, I almost sighed out loud. It was one of those really comfy computer chairs that just made you want to sit on your butt all day. I hated them but they just beckoned to me! I wiggled the mouse and snorted when I saw he had locked all access to them. That was amusingly ignorant of him. I could break through this with my eyes shut. I first tried a few passwords. 'Enigma?' no, 'Smarts?' I gritted my teeth and typed in several variations of his own name, then even some of mine. I felt anticipation if it was mine, because if it was, he would never hear the end of it. Sadly, those didn't go through either. I clicked on his security question in a last attempt.

'What is your favorite color?'

Wow. I underestimated the guy. He really was an idiot.

Once into his system, I scanned around on the homepage, looking for something to do. I played a couple games of mind sweeper, checked out what was going down at the precinct (he had pretty much every corner of Gotham wired) and hell, even checked my own room. I raised an eyebrow in shock. He had my room tapped? That was comforting.

I hadn't even noticed the water stopped running until I listened after a few minutes. Oh god was he out? Well you can imagine how fast I logged off and jet into the other room.

After a few minutes he peeked in with a strange look somewhere between confusion and suspicion. He stared at me. And I stared right back. He narrowed his eyes and slid his head back into the other room without saying a thing for once. Ah fuck he knew.

"Need something?" I tried to put a little petulance in my tone.

He stuck his head back in.

"Why were you calling Harley?"

I stared and the book in my hands and I realized it was upside down. I quickly shut and put it aside.

"I was merely asking Harley and Ivy to do a few favors for me. That's all." He raised his eyebrow, noticing the interesting shade of magenta splashed onto my face.

"Like what?"

"Just...favors..." His mouth formed a straight line of annoyance.

"If you're thinking they'll help you escape-"He started.

"Never thought of that I'll be sure to ask them when they get here!"

I won't allow it." He said calmly.

I snorted. "Sure you won't"

He looked completely at ease, throwing full trust in his security system. "This is my domain and no one gets in or out until I say so."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth Harley and Ivy came bursting through the door and amidst the shouts of anger from Eddie at having his hideout broken into I was bright red again. I snatched them both into my room before he could ask what was in the bags.

Ivy huffed and threw a pod at Edward which upon contact exploded and wrapped him tightly in sickly green vines before shutting the door firmly behind us.

Harley jumped on me and made the feelings in my fingertips go on pins and needles for a few seconds before Ivy dragged her off, taking pity on me.

"Anyway! We went everywhere. Even Victoria's Secret, that place apparently doesn't get robbed every day!" Harley rattled.

"They looked quite shocked." Ivy added. "Here, try this on for size." She flung what looked like a green scrap of silk at me.

I caught it, mortified. They didn't need to go everywhere I told them! I was really chicken when it came to stuff like guys and seduction. I had very little experience, so naturally I yellowed out.

"Um...I think I'm good for now but thanks anyway!" I chirped. That was weird. I never chirped.

"Are ya sure?" Harley prodded.

But Ivy was having none of it. I had asked for her help and goddamn I was going to get it!

"Try it. On." She snarled. Considering she had pulled that pod from nowhere I figured I'd better do as she said. Who know what the hell was shoved under that leotard. I got undressed with chagrin and stood shivering in the tiny scrap of clothing they had forced me into. God I could be swearing vengeance earlier today but be completely humbled by this...thing they called lingerie.

"k-kay." I mumbled. I tried not to look down because when I did, there was way too much skin showing than necessary.

The two sirens turned from talking amongst themselves and Harley's eyes widened comically huge.

"Wow! Blondie, you look hot!" She yelled.

Ivy clapped her hand over Harley's mouth and surveyed me with a critical stare. She got up, dragging Harley under her arm (in case she tried to yell out again) and walked around me, making me feel more self conscious than I already was. She grabbed my hands and peeled them off my body where I was trying to cover up.

"Don't be self conscious. Men are attracted to confidence in a woman." she stated. "Nigma on the other hand..." I heard in the after thought.

"C-can I just try these on in my own time?" I was trying to withhold what dignity I had left.

Ivy nodded and looked at my clock. "We need to be going anyway."

Harley wriggled out of Harley's grasp with a new, big grin on her face. "J's gonna take me blowing tonight!"

"Do...I even want to know what that means?"I stared at her dumbfounded. I couldn't help it, that would have sounded dirty to Jesus.

Ivy rolled her eyes as I got dressed in some normal clothes. "They're going to tag dynamite to everything downtown and play with the bat a little. She thinks it's a bonding experience."

"Oh but it is-" Harley started, but Ivy was already dragging her out the door.

"Wait!" Harley yelped. She squirmed out of Ivy's arms and rustled around in the bag, coming back out with a pair of fuzzy pink handcuffs. "You won't be needing these, you've got a green pair!" and with that she trotted away after her companion, shutting the door with a crash. As I heard the locks click back into place I strolled over to where Nigma was still wrestling around on the floor trying to get loose.

"Need some help?" I grinned.

He screamed out breaths of air through his nose to show his discomfort. Feeling my confidence returning, I looked around for something to cut him loose with. I rummaged around in some drawers and finding a nail clipper, sauntered back over. I twirled them teasingly in front of his nose, holding back laughter as his eyes momentarily crossed.

"Now what was that I heard a while ago?" I leaned forward, putting a hand to my ear. "you need...help?"

He rolled his eyes and nodded very deliberately. I took my time, making sure to start at the bottom, then switch sides and cut his mouth free. I should have saved that for last.

"What are you hiding in there?" He spat, his eyes enraged and glowing like embers.

"Just clothes." I replied shortly. I wasn't in the mood for talking. There was an unknown feeling washing over me as I worked at the bonds. He initiated the kisses. Why did he initiate them all the time? I know it was ridiculous to be thinking of such a random action as such, but it just came to mind. He was still rambling on about what would happen if I was hiding anything, but I heard nothing.

Finally after five minutes I got fed up. I was trying to think why wouldn't he shut up? And why were these damn vines so freaking tough? Most of his upper body was still bound and I calculated how much longer it would take. It didn't look good.

"And you really think you could get past my intellect-"

"shut up." I muttered.

He looked quite offended for a moment. "What?"

I looked up from my clippers and shifted my body so I was facing his chest. I peeled off his mask and just looked at his regular characteristics.

"W-what are you doing?" He tried to leer. I traced a finger down his jaw and felt a slight shudder.

"Shut up," I repeated "and kiss me" with that I bent my head down and kissed him for once, instead of the other way around. He pushed and I pushed back. He moved, I moved. That damn elf was stirring up my stomach again, at the moment though, it was at the back of my mind. There were only his lips. When I broke away I left the clippers by his side and walked into the next room. He didn't try to stop me.