"Come on, you should go out with him ... Get laid, get your cherry popped." Alice said chewing on some of those gross flatbread crackers my mom gave me. Edward snickered and I elbowed him gut. I stood and headed into the kitchen to grab a beer, keeping an eye on Alice and Edward as they lounged around my living room.

"I'm not a virgin." I whispered to her as my cheeks warmed. I picked up the notice lying on my counter from my landlord, I must've passed it on my way in. The notice that told me that my rent was two weeks late. The same notice that told me I needed to be out in under a week if I couldn't get my rent in.

"Bella. Honestly, it's just a date-"

"Fuck." I whispered, biting my lip as my eyes scanned over the small print.

"Excuse me?" Alice gasped; I looked up to see her staring at me with wide eyes. Edward turned in his spot on the couch, his arm slung over the back. He cocked his head to the side and I shook my head, folding the paper back up and sliding it to the top of my counter.

"Mhm," she rolled her eyes, "well I don't see why you don't just give him a chance?"

"Maybe he's after your money?" Edward shrugged reaching for a cracker from Alice.

"Uh, I doubt it. Have you ever seen her bank account?" Alice shook her head. She wasn't quite up to date on the whole my parents being rich thing.

"Oh yeah, I've seen it..." He said, widening his eyes.

Obviously he hasn't seen it recently.

"Guys..." I sighed, walking over and falling down next to Edward on the couch, he tossed an arm over my shoulder. "I don't have an interest in dating at the moment." Edward nodded along with me.

"You don't need to be dating anyway. Everyone is dissatisfactory anyway." He shrugged.

"And how would you know?" Alice snapped.

"Let's be honest, I'm the best anyone can get... You'll only be disappointed in everyone else." Edward said to me with a blindingly white grin.

"Bella," Alice said slowly, tugging her gaze from Edward to me. "Michael said he was really interested in you."

"Michael doesn't know me." I said furrowing my eyebrows.

"And his name is Michael." Edward said, lifting his eyebrow as he turned his gaze to me. "That would make you Mike and Bella."

"What's wrong with that?" Alice asked, lifting her eyebrow in his direction.

"I think we all know what's wrong with that, Alice." He said wrinkling his nose.

"Edward, don't be rude…" I sighed bumping his shoulder with mine and he shrugged.

"Hey, I'm just helping you out, babe. Show her the picture." He said snapping at Alice.

"Don't tell me what to do, asshole." Alice grunted, pulling out her phone anyway. "He's really nice."

"How do you know him?" I asked as she turned the picture towards me. He was cute, I guess. He had a baby face and bright blue eyes. He was also blonde and just a little out of shape, but I wasn't perfect either.

"We went to school together, then he moved out to Australia, but now he's back." She winked. "And with an accent too." Edward scoffed from next to me and I elbowed him.

"That sounds horrible." He said with a shake of his head. "Imagine waking up to that every morning. Honey, I'd like some toast please." He said with a terrible Australian accent, I laughed and Alice curled a lip at him.

"You have an accent." She pointed out.

"But it's a slight accent. And it's British. Much sexier." He winked at her and she huffed.

"Well, Mike isn't nearly as cocky as this one, so that'll give you a much needed break." She said pulling the phone back; Edward held out his hand and rolled his eyes at her.

"Guys, be nice." I said as Alice handed Edward the phone. "He's not that bad looking."

"He looks like a golden retriever." Edward said, turning the phone at a few different angles. I pursed my lips at Edward and he handed the phone back to Alice.

"Nice, huh?"

"He's great, Bella. Don't judge a book by its cover, honey. This picture is a little old anyway."

"Just think, Bella and Mike." He contorted his mouth as he mocked an Australian accent again.

"Who are you to judge?" Alice asked testily. For some reason she was inexplicably invested in this guy. I couldn't see her and Edward getting along very well in the future.

"Edward Cullen, best friend and cherry popper of this one." He explained unnecessarily, ending with a nudge to my arm. Alice squinted in confusion and tilted her head to the side. "I am Bella, she's like my spirit animal. I know her, therefore I can judge for her-" He continued but I cut him off, outraged at the first part.

"Edward, what the hell?!" I hissed moving from under his arm. "Unnecessary."

"Cherry popper?" Alice asked shaking her head, still not understanding. Her eyes widened and Edward smiled proudly.

"This is why I don't bring you around my new friends." I sighed.

"You two had sex?" Alice gasped and she kicked my shoe mouthing "nice" behind her hand. I nodded and rolled my eyes.

"I can see… both of you." He said rolling his eyes. "Not that I'm complaining. It is true after all."

"I know the last date didn't go so well, but I think you might like this one!" She said, widening her eyes in that way that made me melt and give in to everything.

"Alice, everyone you've set me up with so far has been terrible…" I bit my lip.

"Best you can get." Edward said lifting my hand and placing it on his chest. I pulled away and elbowed him in the side. I pursed my lips as his eyes pierced mine and shook my head.

"Hey if you keep elbowing me, you're going to mar the perfection that is my abdomen." He rubbed his side and I turned to Alice as she started squeaking.

"If it'll help, we can make it a triple date." Alice said clapping. "I can call Jazz!"

"Uh, I'd rather not." I'd tried double dating with Edward before and it only ended with all four of us being pissed at each other. I don't think Edward or I ever talked to our dates after that. That was four years ago, I can't imagine things would be any easier now.

"I don't really think that's going to work out, munchkin." Edward said, moving around me so that his head was in my lap.

"Don't call me that." She said with fire in her eyes. Edward backed up towards me a little and I laughed, running my hand through the silk that was his hair.

"Sorry, sorry… Don't eat me." He said holding up his hands. Alice leaned forward angrily and I sighed.

"Be nice." I pulled on his hair roughly for a second and he pulled away from me.

"Okay, I can sense that I'm about to be ganged up on… And not in the good way." He said, moving onto his feet and backing away from us. "So I'll see you ladies later." He grabbed his jacket from over the arm of the couch.

"Bye." I waved, he blew me a kiss and I caught it before tucking it into my pocket and giving him a sarcastic lovey-dovey smile. He laughed and headed for the kitchen to throw away his beer. The distinct sound of paper rustling made me wonder what the hell he was doing and then he headed out. I turned back to Alice who was intently watching the door. When it closed her eyes locked on mine and a wide smile spread across her face.

"You two are together, aren't you?" Alice gasped, clapping and shooting to her feet, sending the box of crackers skidding into my leg. "This is so exciting!"

"Uh, Alice… We aren't-"

"Don't even try and play me. If it looks like a couple, sounds like a couple and acts like a couple it's probably not a bucket."

"It's probably just an overactive imagination." I said shaking my head and picking out my glass and the box of crackers. I headed into the kitchen and she was hot on my heels.

"You've had intercourse-" She said, ticking off things on her fingers. I shivered at the word and set down the glasses in the sink.

"Just say sex, or fucked or something…" That word was just, ugh.

"Okay you've fucked, you are together twenty four seven and you're both head over heels for each other… If that isn't a relationship, I don't know what is."

"We aren't in love, Alice." I said shaking my head looking down at my empty counter. I traced my fingers over the smooth surface and furrowed my eyebrows.

Something was missing…

"Look me in the eye and tell me you don't love him."

"Of course I love him," I rolled my eyes. "He's my best friend." I turned on the water, wetting the dish rag and cleaning out the wine glasses.

"Okay, than tell me you don't have feelings for him past that." She said lifting her eyebrows. I bent my head forward, letting my hair serve as a curtain as I bit my lip. I didn't want to lie to her and say that I didn't, I've kind of always had feelings for Edward. I also didn't want to tell the truth because then she'd just be another person trying to force Edward and I on each other.

"It's complicated."

"You want to fuck him?" She asked, as if uncontrollable loins proved to be a good detector of feelings.

"Alice…"

"Yes or no?"

"Have you seen the man? Yes. God…" I rolled my eyes as my cheeks flamed up.

"Could you have his children?"

"It's biologically possible, I guess."

"Yes or no."

"This is a weird question, I'd like another."

"If he proposed to you, what would you say?"

"He wouldn't propose to me." I shook my head.

"If he did?"

"He wouldn't!" I snapped, setting down the glasses with an angry clink. "Edward isn't interested in me, not at all. There's no reason to even continue with this."

"What? Are you crazy?!"

"You remember when you were a teenager and you a crush on some gorgeous pop star, but deep down you knew he wouldn't go for you, because you aren't pretty enough, or rich enough, or cool enough? That's what it's like with Edward and I."

"Well, the boys of One Direction weren't always all over me, though."

"One Direction? Aren't they like… younger than us now?"

"Barely-"

"Like seven years…" Alice was a few years older than me and way older than them.

"But can't I have an unrealistic crush in my twenties too?"

"Do whatever you want."

"Bella, you have a bigger chance than you realize. I bet if one of you would get off of your asses and like… I don't know, propose, the other would jump all over it."

"Not only is he not interested in me, but we were kind of born to get married. Or at least that's what it seems like, our parents are shoving it down our throats and that makes everything a little less appealing."

"I'm telling you, you shouldn't let that hold you back. You're perfect for each other." She nodded watching me walk across the kitchen. "And you can always test him… Kiss him or something, see how he reacts."

"We already kiss regularly…" My eyes widened and I rushed to correct myself. "I mean, not like-"

"Ugh, whatever. Just… for the next few days watch him closely, he's into you. Just watch." She waved her fingers and I shook my head, stocking away the shitty crackers.

"I'm not going to even try and delude myself into anything."

"The last thing you'd need to do is delude yourself, Bella. All you need to do is look at the big picture!" She rolled her eyes. "Now either you look into things with Edward or you go on the date with Mike."

"Why do I have to do either? I've gone on just the way I am for over twenty years. Thanks though." I said with another shake of my head. I turned to see her holding up my phone, shaking it slowly so that I'd notice her.

"What are you doing?" I asked with wide eyes.

"I'm being proactive, Isabella." I shuddered at the name and she lifted an eyebrow. "The only way to find out if Edward is interested is to ask him, since you won't do anything." My heart thudded nervously as I stalked towards her. She took off into my family room and I gasped. The tell-tale sound of my phone unlocking had me hot on her heels.

"Don't you dare!"

"I'm helping you!"

"Alice! Don't!"

"Then let me call Michael."

"I'm not interested in Michael!"

"Don't let that asshole talk you out of it." She said holding the phone behind her back. "I know the accent is convincing, but-"

"But what?" I asked.

"It's probably fake anyway." She said in exasperation.

"His whole family is from London, Alice. They all have accents."

"Maybe he's adopted and he just has identity issues. He could just have the accent to fit in with his family. Have you ever seen his birth certificate?"

"I have." I lied.

"Really?"

"No."

"Well, here's what I'm saying. Edward doesn't want you to do this date thing because he likes you! I'm telling you!"

"Okay, look." I said holding up my hands. "I will watch Edward or whatever you want. Just, tell Michael I'm not interested and give me my phone back." I said holding out my hand. She grinned and handed it over.

"Good." She said. "I think you'll be pleased."

I hope you all are enjoying so far!

Leave me love! You'll get teased, in the good way ;)