I lazed around most of the day, stewing on what had just taken place. If you were to peek in on me right now (like I'm sure he was doing) you would have seen a perfectly calm adult on a bright green bed. The only times I looked calm was when I was a raging civil war on the inside. A little strange, yes. But my emotions were stuffed inside me like a fat turkey on Christmas day. There was the first side, also my bad one, who I had deemed Emma. Just cause I could. On the other side there was me, Beth. Usually we would discuss this without getting a brain tumor but I felt like the two were duking it out in there today. The path was going like this so far;

Beth: He's an ass! Don't fall for him!

Emma: Go ahead, he's been so sweet to you!

Beth: He drugged me!

Emma: Because he loves you!

God. Love was a word I didn't even want to get into it with yet. Love is only another branch of weakness. A weakness I couldn't deal with right now. No one had ever really..."loved" me. I was orphaned at three, bounced around from home to home until I was old enough to get my own place, a job and worked through an education. Dating and friends had always been on the sidelines. People had asked me out, but I had never been interested, so I didn't bother with it, thinking that men only got in the way of things from what I had heard around the lunch room. Jimmy did this and Archie did that and "oh what a tragic love story it was". Nope. Too much of a stress.

I licked my lips nervously. When had everything become so damned confusing anyway? Beth chose to speak up and say it was when the idiot had drugged me. Emma piped up at the same time though, saying that it could easily be fixed with a simple walk into the other room, to just start talking normally.

'You know you want to' I heard her purr. 'To be wrapped up in his embrace, never to be-'

"Shut up!" I hissed aloud.

He very apparently had feelings for me. Nothing else could account for the multiple signals he had sent me. No, there wasn't any doubt in that. The only problem was that...I didn't know how to respond. I guess you dealt with all the assholes as exes for practice so you would be experienced when that special person came along, but I was absolutely clueless. I crawled under the covers and curled up in a tight ball. I squeezed my fists together and grabbed a pillow to cling onto. Burying my face into the soft folds, I imagined it was him I was holding so tightly.

"See you had a lotta crooks tryna steal your heart

Never really had luck couldn't ever figure out how to love"

AU: Heyy, I never really do these anymore, nor do I want to sound like one of those beggars but it really would help me a lot if you left a review. If you already do, fantastic! They make my day, but if you haven't yet I would love to hear what you think :) Feel free to PM me as well. The last two lines are from Lil Wayne's song How to Love.

Much love and gratitude, Shelly.