I promised you the story of my life, didn't I? Well, you probably know most of it. You probably know about how exactly I became I spy, you probably know about the things I've been through but this is one story I haven't told yet, so listen up.
I would say it all began one day when I was walking down a deserted street, but it didn't really begin then, did it? It began the day my uncle died or you could argue it began the day I was born. I'd told MI6 I was done with them. That this was it. But since when did they listen to a thing I have to say? So many false promises. So many lies. When I said I'd done with spying, I found it difficult to lapse back into my old routine. I couldn't get excited about the things I did before. I couldn't pretend this had never happened. I kept analyzing things, I couldn't understand why people got so emotional over trivial things. Because all that kept playing in my mind were the guns and death. So I found myself, alone, walking down a street, lost in my thoughts.
When the black car with tinted windows drew up beside me I ignored it. Whatever they want, they can forget it, I thought, I'm not doing it. I won't. So I carried on walking as if nothing had happened. "Alex Rider." Said a tall man in a suit. I hadn't even heard the car door open.
"Who wants to know?"
"Only an organization you used to work for."
"What do they want to know?"
"They haven't old me. All they told me was that you are to come with me now. You can ask them yourself."
"I'm not coming. Tell them to forget it. I told them I was finished with them."
"I think you'll find you will, Alex. You don't seem to be in a position to argue." The man spoke softly but there was a razor sharp edge to his words and I felt, that if I was to touch them, my hand would surely bleed. I don't know why I did it. Why couldn't I have stood my ground? Maybe it was the man's tone of voice or maybe something else that made me step into that car. I didn't say anything for the whole journey but neither did the man in the car. The dead silence fell like a heavy weight, crushing me underneath it.
I stood in front of Mr Blunt's desk, eyeing him warily. "Alex, nice to see you again." He said.
"Shame I can't say the same for you." I said frostily.
"I know what you're thinking, Alex. But we need you again."
"You promised. You gave me your word. You ruined my life. I'm trying to fix my life but you're breaking it again before I've even started!"
"Alex," said Mrs Jones, "I'm sorry we ruined you life. I'm sorry about everything we put you through and if there was a way to make it stop I would do everything in my power to make it stop. It was wrong to have a teenager as a spy and your life will never be the same again. But now, we can't afford to lose you. We don't have anyone else capable of doing things you can and...I know you're not going to like this, but, we've ruined your life already, you're never going to get it back, so why not do this for us? A lot of people's lives could be at risk, do you want them to die, Alex?"
"No, I don't want them to die. But someone else can save them. I'm 14 for goodness sake! I'm not meant to be saving lives. Yes, you have ruined my life and I'm not going to say thank you and help you again."
"Alex, if you don't agree to help, you'll no longer have our support." Said Mr Blunt. "You see, Alex, you might not have realised but, you have no family to take care of you. No living relatives. Jack doesn't work and she hasn't adopted you, it's just because of us that you have been living like this."
"You used this to Blackmail me the first time we met. You're sick, that's what you are."
"No, Alex. I'm not sick. I'm a man who likes to get things done and I'll do a lot to get them done the way I want. So, if you don't agree to help us, you'll be moving. We'll put you in a care home or an orphanage until someone else decides to adopt you. Jack will go back to America and you won't be going to your school."
"What if I don't care?"
"You're a bright lad, Alex. But you've missed an awful lot of school. Do you think you'll be able to catch up? Will you pass your exams? What do you plan to do with your life, Alex? How will you earn a living? Of course, you could have worked for us, but if you don't help..." Mr Blunt had no emotion on his face. It was blank. Expressionless. Mrs Jones looked like she felt a bit guilty but she didn't shout out to save me, did she? I hate these people. I hate these manipulating people. Right then, in that moment, I was stuck. I didn't know what to do. I think all the pressure had finally gotten to me and I went out of my mind for a while. I wasn't thinking rationally. All I could think was I wasn't going to say yes, I wasn't going to do it.
"I don't care what you do. Frankly, Mr Blunt, I don't care. I don't care about your precious MI6, I don't care where you send me. Because you know what? You've already ruined my life and I'm never, ever going to get it back as it was before. So you can do what you like, but I'm not helping you. Goodbye, Mr Blunt. I hope we never meet again." With that, I walked out of the room. I heard Mr Blunt saying "I didn't think that would happen."
"He just needs time to think. He'll come round. You'll see." Said Mrs Jones. Glad I gave you a surprise Blunt, I thought, and, Mrs Jones, you're wrong. I am not going to come around. I didn't know where to go then. I was blind by anger and, as I said, I think I was a little out of my mind.
I stood on the platform at the train station and watched as a train speeded past. You're never too young to die. I thought about, what would it be like, to take my own life? "To be, or not to be, that is the question." I muttered under my breath. The corner of my mouth twitched, thinking about how many people had misused that line when studying Shakespeare's Hamlet in class. How they'd said it as a joke. Now here I was, actually meaning it. Then a sudden thought occurred to me. If I wanted to die so badly, I could have just accepted MI6's offer. It would have killed me sooner or later. Then I laughed properly, earning me a few odd looks from passer bys. Definitely out of my mind, I thought, as I boarded the train.