A/N: This story is a smidge over 1,000 words but it's close enough so I'm putting it in here.
Why Won't You Get Married?
" Honestly Roy. I don't see why you don't want to get married," commented Maes one hot afternoon. "It's the best thing I ever did."
"I should've known you had an ulterior motive when you begged me to help you build a deck in your backyard." Roy grumbled as he drove the shovel into the hard soil. A drop of sweat trickled down his face and dripped down onto the back of his hand. "And I still don't see why I can't just use alchemy to build the whole thing. We would've been done ages ago."
"Simple. Elysia's going to start walking soon so I need to make sure this deck is child-proof," answered Maes as he inspected the floor to make sure it was even. "I can't have my little princess getting a splinter or bumping her head on something sharp. Everything needs to be perfect."
"Whatever." Roy wiped the sweat off his brow. "Let's just finish as soon as possible ok? I can't wait to hit the shower." Maes grinned at his friend.
"So…you never answered my question earlier."
"What question?"
"Why don't you want to get married? And don't give me that it's because you want to focus on becoming Fuhrer junk. I'm not buying that crap for a second."
"Fine. How about I enjoy being a bachelor then? I get to flirt with as many beautiful ladies as I want and I can stay out all night without a wife demanding to know where I was."
"Hmm…you do have a good point. Pass me the hammer will you?"
Roy looked at his friend suspiciously before handing him the tool. That was too easy. He had expected a much longer debate on his marital status than that. However, Maes was busy making sure that the wooden post he had driven into the soil earlier was straight. Roy sighed and picked up another hammer. Perhaps he finally did convince Maes that he wasn't ready to settle down.
"You know, there's lots of perks of being married."
Roy groaned. So much for that thought. "Amuse me then," he mumbled as he positioned a nail between two boards.
"Well you pay less taxes for starters…and you'll never have to sleep alone." Roy smirked at the last comment. "Ok. Forget the last point. Knowing you, you could sleep with a different woman every night if you wanted.
"Which is why being a bachelor is great."
"Fine. How about this? You get a great home cooked meal every day."
"I can cook," Roy grunted.
"Barely. I feel sorry for any girl who's had to try one of your home cooked meals."
"Hey! I've improved a lot since Ishbal. You can ask Riza."
Roy mentally cursed himself. He was going to get it now. He glanced over at his friend and saw that Maes had a huge grin plastered on his face.
"So you've had Riza over for dinner eh? I always knew there was something going on between you two."
"There's nothing between us that you don't already know."
"Then why are you blushing?"
"I'm hot."
"I bet that's what she says about you in bed."
"Hughes. You should know better than to annoy someone holding a weapon." He held up the hammer for emphasis.
"So what? I've got one too." He held up the other hammer.
"I give up," Roy mumbled under his breath. He turned his attention back to work in front of him. Maes grinned even more.
"You know, Roy," he said, leaning closer to his best friend. "If you're half as smart as you claim to be you would marry her before some other guy comes along and steals her from you."
Roy chuckled. "That will never happen."
"Don't be too sure. I know several young officers that have much more than just a passing interest in your Lieutenant."
"Oh?" Roy commented, pounding on the nail a little harder than necessary. "What are their names and ranks?"
"Ha. I knew it! You're jealous."
"Not at all. I was thinking of passing on their names to Riza."
"Liar. Why won't you admit it?" Roy simply smirked.
"A good soldier never reveals his weakness or lets his guard down. Now, if you're finally done interrogating me about my love life let's hurry up and finish this. "
"You're no fun," whined Maes as they went back to work.
Several hours later…
Roy closed his eyes and sighed in relief as hot water cascaded over him, relaxing his aching muscles. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he was this sore.
Stupid Hughes. I'm never falling for that trick again, he thought to himself as he grabbed a bar of soap and lathered himself. The man never gives up. He placed the soap back on the tray and quickly rinsed off. Grabbing a towel, he dried himself and slipped into a pair of boxers before entering his bedroom. Riza was reading in his bed wearing a silk nightgown.
"Did you two finish building the deck?" she asked, putting down her book.
"Almost," Roy groaned before flopping onto the bed. "There's still some sanding and other minor stuff but the bastard can do that himself," he murmured into the pillow. He heard Riza shift beside him and felt her hands on his back.
"Mmm…that feels good."
"You're really stiff," she commented as she worked on the knots in his shoulders. Roy grinned at the comment.
"That's not the only part of me that's stiff." Riza laughed quietly at his remark and continued with the massage. Roy groaned as felt his muscles starting to relax.
"By the way, Maes was bugging me to go find a wife again."
"Oh?" Riza raised a brow. "Did you tell him?"
"Nah. He wouldn't understand," he replied before turning over. Maes could never understand that the only reason he wasn't married was because he didn't want to put Riza in any unnecessary danger. She was his weak point and if his enemies knew that they would certainly use that to their advantage. Staring up at her, he wondered how different his life would be without her.
"You ok?" she asked, concerned.
"Yeah," he murmured. "Just thinking how life isn't fair." Riza smiled.
"I'd say you have it better than most people."
"True. I have you." Then, gently grasping her arm, he slowly pulled her down and kissed her passionately.
A/N: Heh. This story managed to evolve quite a bit from my initial idea involving a scheming Maes, a sweaty and topless Roy, Riza, and lemonade. :P