A/N: I know, it's short, wordy and late! I'm sorry - but RL has been hectic with little time to write, and now I'm going on vacay with the fam, so I won't be updating for at least a week. But I really wanted to get his explanation out to you before I left. I'm sure you'll appreciate that.

HUGE thanks to my pre-readers! And sorry that this will be the first time you get to read this ;-)

As you can probably guess people - this is UNBETA'ed. Any and all mistakes are all mine.

Don't own, SM does. I just mess up their lives *Hahaha*

Have a great vacation, all of you!

Chapter 8

We start walking towards a cozy little diner just off campus. They have a breakfast buffet to die for, with pancakes, French toast, eggs in every conceivable variant, bacon, ham, baked beans, toast and preserves, fresh fruits; you name it, they've got it. Our walk is silent, Edward looking at the ground and me ignoring him. There is tension in the air, a lot of unsaid things between us. He keeps fidgeting his hands. Normally we would walk hand in hand, but neither of us seeks physical contact.

After we've gotten our food and sit down at a table, he starts talking. Almost whispering at first, but his voice is growing stronger, when he sees my relaxed expression.

"Bella, I am so sorry… I don't know what to say. It started out very innocent with her and me just sitting around my room, catching up and listening to music. We had a beer or two and a couple of shots, just hanging out. All of a sudden, she tells me that she's in love with me and has been for years – she just didn't have the courage to do anything about it, in fear of losing our friendship…" He trails off here, taking in my reaction, which is completely unfazed. I expected this, and I can both sympathize and empathize. I know EXACTLY what that feels like.

"Anyway, I hate to admit this, but I feel the same way as she does – have done so for a long time. I hoped to get over it when I moved here – to meet a nice girl that I could fall in love with. And I really thought I did, when I met you! You are beautiful, intelligent, kind and warm hearted. You like the same things I like; you seem to match me in every way. But no matter how much I like you, I still love her more. It has nothing to do with you, and everything do with me and her. I really hope that you aren't too hurt over this. I never meant for you to be trapped in this mess. And I'm really really sorry for betraying your trust." He looks pleadingly at me, sincerity radiating from him.

"Edward," I start tentatively, "I know that you're sorry. I know that you didn't mean to hurt me. And I know, more than you think, how it feels to be in your shoes right now. I can certainly understand why temptation got the better of you. Don't worry, there are no hard feelings on my part – I just hope that you'll remain my friend?" Now it's my turn to look pleadingly at him. I don't want to lose him as a friend – he is a great person, and we get along so well. We're study partners and share almost every class. I love him as a friend, and can honestly say that.

"Of course I will, Bella! I was hoping we could be friends – you mean a lot to me and we have so much in common. And I promise, I will never hurt you again – at least not intentionally." His face lights up in that beautiful crooked smile of his and his emerald eyes shine with happiness.

"I have something to tell you as well, now that we're being so honest with each other," I say, "The reason that I can relate so well to yours and Tanya's situation is that I am in love with someone as well. And I haven't got the courage to do anything about it either, by fear of losing a great friendship.." I trail off.

"Is it Jasper? Of course it is, I should have known. It seemed like there was always something in your eyes, something holding you back when things started to get physical between us. Like you weren't 100 % invested in it – same as I felt, actually." He asks and concludes, all on his own. "What are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know if I should do anything. I don't want to risk it."

"He might feel the same way, Bella. Take it from me – I've been there! Tanya told me that she needed you as a catalyst for acting on her feelings. It wasn't until she realized that she was in a very real danger of losing me forever that she mustered the courage. Maybe it's the same way for him?"

"Maybe you are right – but I still don't know how. No way am I going to confess to him as it is. He only expresses platonic feelings for me in his letters and calls. I won't ever risk that." I am adamant in my refusal of putting myself out there.

"I have an idea!" He says, "Was it next weekend that he would come up and visit?"

"Yes, he's coming Friday night and staying till Saturday, then we'll drive home and visit our parents, before driving back here Sunday afternoon."

"Okay, so what are the plans for Friday night?" He asks.

"We haven't finalized them, but knowing Jazz it's not going to be boring. I promised to show him around campus and such. He is sleeping over in my dorm room." I reply, wondering where this is going.

"How about this; we pick him up together at the airport. I pretend to be your boyfriend, just to gauge his reaction. If he's in love with you as well he'll get jealous – if he's just a friend, he'll be indifferent. That will prove to you how he feels, without risk. And it might spur him on, like it did with Tanya." He winks at me and is all exited of his genius plan. And I must admit it is a genius plan – totally risk free and a surefire way to find out where Jasper stands in this. Edward's excitement is contagious and I smile at him, really toothy and happy.

"YES! That's really fantastic Edward! He won't suspect and I'll be much surer of his standpoint. I love that!" I imitate Beck and start to jump in my seat and clap my hands. "Oh, I love you Edward – it's perfect!" Now we're both beaming. I am so happy I could burst – finally I am going to know! Finally I will see if I stand a chance of winning my man!

I realize that while Edward has been sitting here eating and explaining, Tanya has been left for her own devices. Poor girl – she finally gets her man, and now he's left her for to be with another woman. Even if I don't like her, she still doesn't deserve that. She came here to see him, not to be left alone. "Edward, where's Tanya? I feel kind of bad that you had to leave her on her own."

"She understands. She went out to have some breakfast and shop a little – she loves to shop and there's a huge mall nearby where she's spending her morning. Knowing her, she'll end up needing your truck to haul all of her purchases back. Would you mind giving me a lift there to pick her up?" He responds. I am a bit wary – less than 24 hours ago, we hated each other with a passion, 12 hours ago she stole my man and now I'm going to be her cab-driver? Ah, whatever – I might as well reach out a little, if I'm going to stay friends with Edward.

We finish up quickly and start to walk towards my dorm parking lot. Soon we are on our way to the mall. It's nearing noon, and they have planned to meet at the food court for lunch by 12.30. I guess they didn't expect me to be there as well, but she'll just have to deal.

She is standing at the Chinese food stand, waiting expectantly for Edward, I'm sure. She looks happy and hopeful – until she spots me, that is. Instantly her expression changes into an insecure and sad mask. It's obvious that she feels guilty – apparently she's not as shallow and bitchy as she had given the impression of yesterday, but actually has a conscience!

"Hi Bella," she says, "I am so happy to see you here – I mean, I didn't know how you'd react and if you'd ever want to speak to any of us again. I'm so sorry for the way we treated you, and thank you for being the better person." Her apology is sincere, and I'm impressed that she doesn't beat around the bush, but jumps right into it. She might be the right kind of person for Edward – but I guess he wouldn't have been friends with her in the first place, if she wasn't a good soul. He is too good and too smart for that.

"It's okay, Tanya. I know how you feel about him – and I know how frustrating your situation was. Believe me, I know." I can't help but forgive her as well. The whole situation just hits too close to home not to. She smiles a relieved smile at me and nods her thanks.

"Hey Baby," Edward says and kisses her cheek, "I hope you had a pleasant morning?"

"I did, even though I was worried for the two of you. Are you still friends?" She asks, kissing him back and looking expectantly at us.

"We are. There's too much good between us not to. And we devised a devilish little plan to get Bella her man. You see, her situation is almost exactly the same as yours!" Edward tells her and grins. "Let us get lunch, and we'll tell you all about it."

She agrees and we all order our food and find a table. We spend most of the afternoon laughing and planning – I'm getting really excited. It seems I'm finally setting things in motion to get Jasper – now I just hope that it doesn't end in heartbreak.

Throw me a bone and review. Even if it's to yell at me for leaving it so short and late. Love y'all.