Chapter 22

House Attack

Kenna was ignoring me. Ignoring me is an invitation to the Housian version of the Inquisition (but in my case, everyone expects it.) I left a message with her assistant and then on her voice mail to call me back but she didn't. Although she gave lip service to getting together for lunch, she'd made no attempts so I was determined to make a move. One morning when I got into work, I walked over to Wilson's office to share some gossip when I heard that hearty Kenna laugh coming from inside. I didn't bother to knock (we're friends aren't we?) Opening the door, sitting across from Wilson was Kenna with big grins on their faces that quickly dropped as if I was the angel of doom.

I looked at Wilson, "You're flirting...I could hear that higher pitched laughter that you usually save for girls we meet at the strip joint." I turned to Kenna. "And you're avoiding me. I've left several messages for you and you haven't called me back. I don't like to be ignored."

"We were just comparing notes on the latest episode of the Daily Show." Wilson smiled at House and then offered, "Kenna needs some cancer participants in one of her studies."

"Greg, I'm not ignoring you, I'm ignoring everyone. All of my projects are at full speed now and I'm up to my ass in alligators. In fact, I have to go. James, thanks, I'll send you all the protocols and then we can start choosing the patients and the controls. I'll see you both." Kenna got up, shook Wilsons hand, let out a little laugh at their previous conversation and then shot past me.

"You like her." I could tell from the way Wilson was smiling and touching his hair that he was interested in Kenna.

"I'm only interested in her professionally. She's got a great sense of humor. I still have a hard time believing that she lived with you. What did you do, drug her?"

"I was an aphrodisiac. Our relationship mostly revolved around sex. She liked it when I would..."

"Whoa...too much information! Look, it seems as if Kenna and I are going to be spending a lot of time trying out these protocols. So if you want to make some titillating comment about it, hit me with your best shot. I'm ready."

I picked up the little glass figurine of a dolphin that sat on Wilson's desk and studied it before answering, "I know you and you're acting like a school girl around her. You want her and you want her bad. Remember, love is grand but divorce is fifty grand. I'm warning you, you can't handle Kenna."

"Wow, House, don't be so open minded, your brains will fall out. How would you know if I can handle Kenna, you haven't been with her in over fifteen years? Besides, I have no intention of dating her."

"No, your intention is screwing her."

"You think the worst of everyone, don't you? Just because your life sucks, you want everyone around you to be miserable. You need to get a life. Buy some time with a hooker."

"Hey, I used to have a handle on life and then it broke. I warn you. Kenna is a handful."

"And you're not? I handle you pretty well."

"Ha!" I took off without giving Wilson the gossip about Thomas Sailing's wife. Didn't matter, I had a bigger problem. Wilson was flirting with Kenna and Kenna was reciprocating. Something was going on and I needed to nip it in the bud. Wilson was too much of a romantic and Kenna was too curious to know when to say no.

Over the next month, I would occasionally find Kenna in Wilson's office and I'd hear a lot of laughter coming from their little trysts, so I'd knock on the door and pop in with a question about a non-existent patient. Kenna would rush by me without a word. I caught them in the hall one day huddled together looking at something. I came up, took my cane and pushed them apart.

Kenna was annoyed. "Greg!"

"Come on children, just like in parochial school, I need to be able to get a ruler between you two." I looked at Wilson, "Is she trying to get you to embrace the Kama Sutra? I can show you the position she likes best."

Wilson looked perturbed, "House, not everything is about sex."

I rolled my eyes at Kenna and gave her a silly face while I nodded at Wilson. "Air and sex, not important unless you aren't getting any. Of course it's about sex! What's in your hand?" I looked at Kenna, who had something in her hand that she was trying to hide.

"Greg, it's none of your business. James, I'll see you later." Kenna turned and went to the elevator bay.

I followed Wilson; he was easier to get information out of than Kenna."What was she hiding?"

"None of your business."

"You can tell me now and it will go easier on you or, if I have to dig, that Horse's head will end up under your covers...wait, I don't have a horse, ok, Cuddy's head."

"House, I'm not Alfredo to your Michael Corleone. I had to sign a confidentiality clause to be involved in the protocol. So, give it up."

"It's part of the protocol?"

Wilson nodded with a look on his face that told me he was annoyed that I had broke up their little rendezvous. "Are you up for the poker contest on Saturday? Starts at 6:00 pm with a $500 buy- in." I knew how much Wilson loved poker (and he was good at it.) I figured if I could get him to go, I could soften him up, especially if he won some money.

"Can't, I already have plans." He gave me a look, the one where you purposely stare at the other person so that they don't see that you're nervous.

"Plans? What plans?" I was suspicious. If he had plans that weren't controversial he would have said, 'I'm going to dinner with my cousin or I have to have dinner with Cuddy and some potential donors...but he didn't say that. He avoided saying anything to me.

"Just dinner with an old friend." With that Wilson went back into his office. I went to mine, but something was up.