Ben Cartwright always felt a sense of relief when he returned to the Ponderosa and identified with Robert Browning's statement: "God's in his Heaven – All's right with the world!" Each homecoming was an affirmation that this was his land; it was where he was meant to be and where, with the help of his sons, he would continue to prosper.
At his side, Hoss sat on his horse with the unmistakeable air of a supremely contented man. The trip to Sacramento had been a valuable time for father and son to spend time alone together, away from the myriad of small chores that inevitably coloured their daily lives and which tended to subsume the opportunities for sharing time, thoughts and experiences with one another. Hoss always felt valued and cherished within his family but, on occasion, outsiders would overlook the contribution he had to give, being either beguiled by Joe's abundant charm or over-awed by Adam's obvious knowledge. This trip allowed him to demonstrate his knowledge of bloodstock and Hoss was somewhat taken aback when several other ranchers had deferred to his quiet assessment and followed his advice.
Ben smiled contentedly to see the new confidence in his normally reserved son. He just hoped that Adam and Joe had managed to work together and were not now totally estranged from one another. While all three of his boys were devoted to one another, the relationship between oldest and youngest had not been without its trials and at times could only be described as volatile. Both were stubborn to a fault and could not acknowledge that, for all their many differences, they were incredibly alike, in their dedication to both the Ponderosa and to the family.
"I'll go an' put the horses in the barn, Pa," Hoss said. "Reckon they'll be ready for a long rest and some good vitals."
The yearning quality in his voice did not escape his father. "I'm sure Hop Sing has prepared a suitable meal for our return!" he joked, suppressing a laugh as Hoss' eyes grew wide with delight.
The barn was cool and dark and it took a few moments for his eyes to adjust from the brightness outside. Leading Buck and Chubb, Hoss saw a figure in the shadowy recesses.
"Punkin? That you?"
Joe stood up, his belt dangling from one hand, while the other grabbed frantically at the waistband of his trousers. "Hoss?" he said hesitantly. The past few days had been so hectic that Joe had lost track of dates and was unaware his father and brother were due to return that afternoon. Then realisation hit. "Hoss!" Joe yelled joyfully and propelled himself across the barn into his brother's arms.
"I missed you too!" Hoss laughed, hugging Joe back. Something felt very wrong: Joe had always been slender, but now he could clearly feel each vertebra on Joe's spine. He held the younger man at arms length, studying him closely and ignoring the squirming fit Joe promptly indulged in. "You never had much meat on your bones, little brother, but now you're jist plum puny. An' what're you doin' with that awl?"
Joe reddened. "Like you say, I lost a little weight and thought I'd better make another hole in belt. Don't want my pants falling down on me!" He tried to make a joke of it, but the look of concern in Hoss' eyes did not diminish noticeably.
"Adam ain't been workin' you too hard, has he?"
"No! Nothing like that!" Joe averred. Once he was certain that Adam's injuries were relatively minor, Joe decided not wanted to worry his father and brother unnecessarily, so neither man was aware of the accident. As they groomed the horses and then settled them into their stall for the night, Joe updated Hoss on all that had happened in the previous few weeks.
Ben was rather shocked to enter the house and find Adam seated before the fire, looking slightly washed out and with a rug over his knees.
"Joe's idea!" Adam remarked, essaying a small smile. "He's been fussing over me like a mother hen. It was almost like having you at home." The look of bewilderment on his father's face told him immediately that Joe had not informed the elder Cartwright's of his accident and Adam began to wonder grimly what other little nuggets of information Joe had successfully kept from him.
Rest and recuperation had worked wonders and the muscles in Adam's back were healing well, allowing him to move around relatively freely, although he was not exactly welcoming the prospect of mounting a horse again. The greatest shock to Adam had been the realisation that company meant so much to him, so it was a great joy to be able to sit at the table with his father and brothers that evening and enjoy a fine meal and good conversation.
"Nothing like pork chops, mashed potatoes, green beans and apple sauce!" Hoss announced happily, helping himself to large portions of each. "I don't suppose there'd be cherry pie for pudding?"
Hop Sing bobbed his head and disappeared back into the kitchen, wreathed in smiles. No one could beat Hoss for sheer appreciation of his culinary skills.
"Makes a change from stew, soup and sandwiches!" Adam said jovially.
Joe flinched. "I did my best," he mumbled, pushing his food around the plate disinterestedly.
"Can't be too easy, drinkin' soup lying on yer back," Hoss remarked, not noticing Joe's head sink a little lower.
Adam chortled, recalling his first attempt to do just that. The pillowslips would never be the same again… "You and I can see that brother, but it seemed to escape Joe's notice!"
Ben was anxious to have one meal without discord and sought to find a neutral topic. "How did you get on with those horses for the army contract, Joe? They were pretty green and wild when we left. I hope you didn't have too much trouble?" He looked at Joe and thought the young man looked pretty wrung out: pale, drawn and gaunt.
"We got all the horses broken – and ahead of schedule!" Joe said proudly. He was still rather amazed that his plan had worked so well. "We made a good profit on that contract."
Adam tried very hard not to show his disbelief. Joe had a tendency on occasions to be slightly economical with the truth and he wondered how much embroidery this tale was being subjected to. "You managed to break those horses in record time, with a skeleton crew and make a profit, while single-handedly running the Ponderosa – and all at the same time? You must let me into your secret, little brother!"
Joe favoured his brother with a hurt look, then stalked across to the office and selected a leather bound ledger, laying it before his father as he pointed out the figures that verified his words. Ben couldn't help noticing how thin his son's wrists were, how the flesh seemed to have melted from his bones. Joe appeared to be on the verge of exhaustion, his eyes were heavy with exhaustion and the bright spots of anger flaring high on his cheeks were the only colour in an otherwise gaunt face.
"You've done a remarkable job!" Ben said, with evident admiration. "How on earth do you do all this?"
Joe sat back down at the table. "We spent the first couple of days getting to know the horses and letting them get used to us. No riding, just talking to them, and letting them approach us when they felt ready. The next day, I divided the men into two groups. While one group was working the horses, the other stayed with the horses, so they were as calm as possible. And after they were rough broken, we continued to give them lots of attention and care. Those horses were so eager to learn! We had them saddle broke in no time at all. And I got $20 a head more than the original agreement."
"Well done! I'm proud of you son!" Few words had ever sounded sweeter to Joe than his father's heartfelt praise and he realised that all the hard work had been worthwhile.
"You done us all proud," Hoss stated emphatically, emphasising his words with a resounding thump that almost knocked the breath out of his brother's body.
"It wasn't just me!" Joe added honestly. "We all worked together and I knew I could rely on Fred to keep things going when I had to go to check on the timber or mine crews."
Adam looked at his brother with new regard, impressed that Joe had willingly delegated responsibilities and had not been tempted to try to oversee everything on his own. It showed a degree of pragmatism and humility he did not usually associate with Joe. And this new way of working with the horses certainly seemed worth while trying.
"I might just try your method when I'm back breaking broncs!" he mused out loud and was surprised to see Joe's face drop. "What's the matter? Not willing to share the glory?"
"I was kind of hoping Pa might let me continue with the horse breaking for a bit. Maybe even take over the running of it," Joe confessed, his voice tailing off as he finally put a long cherished dream into words. He'd never quite had either the confidence or courage to speak about this before, fearing his request would be turned down.
"I hardly think one trial experiment qualifies you to take over one of the most profitable operations on the ranch. You simply don't have the experience," Adam remarked calmly, impervious to the black looks Ben shot across the table at him. "Perhaps you could work with me for a bit, let me show you the ropes?"
Joe took a deep breath and willed his voice to stay steady. "How can I ever learn to run things unless I get some experience? I'm the same age as you were when you came back from college and Pa trusted you with plenty of responsibility. Sure, I'll make some mistakes – we all do! But they'll be my mistakes and I hope I'll learn from them. Be fair Adam - you've got to let me grow me up sometime."
"Fact is, he's got you on two counts," Hoss added calmly. "First, Joe's the best rider hereabouts an' he's got a natural affinity with horses. Ain't no doubt Joe can get 'em to do things for him the rest of us can only dream about! And second, Joe's proved himself right fine. He's earned that chance fair and square, even if he's near run himself ragged in the process. Pa trusted both of us and now I reckon we've got to do the same for Joe."
Joe beamed happily. Hoss might be a man of few words, but when he made a speech, everyone listened.
This was not exactly the happy homecoming meal Ben had envisaged and he found himself with little appetite for the cherry pie Hop Sing proudly placed on the table. He was keenly aware that three sets of eyes were upon him, awaiting his decision.
Talk about the judgement of Solomon! No matter what he decided, one son would feel hurt and aggrieved. Adam had eased confidently into managing many of the day-to-day activities of the Ponderosa and he was a stalwart right hand to his father. But, if he were totally honest, Ben knew that Adam found it difficult to walk in another man's shoes and experience his hopes and fears. At times, his eldest son could be a lone wolf, relying on his own experience and skills and reluctant to cede responsibility. A lot of that was connected to the fact that he had assumed the role of a surrogate parent to both his brothers at an early age. Ben knew that Adam wanted to help Joe find his feet and ease his passage into manhood. But keeping too firm a hand on the reins could be as unproductive with Joe as it was with a spirited horse – sooner or later, there would be rebellion.
Ben had fight down all his own protective instincts on this matter. Joe was his youngest child –and he was literally chaffing at the bit to be allowed to prove himself, not only in the eyes of his family but to the hands on the ranch and also to the wider world. Ben sometimes found it difficult to acknowledge his little boy was now a man, but he was gratified that all his sons valued his opinions and still sought his advice and guidance. Only why did Joe have to choose the most dangerous occupation on the ranch?
Of course, Joe had never taken the easy route through life. Quite the reverse in fact. From the moment of his traumatic birth, Joe had always viewed life as an adventure, grabbing each new opportunity and challenge with eager hands, but seldom stopping to think. Small wonder the boy had suffered more broken bones and illnesses than the rest of the family put together. You only had to tell Joe that something was not possible and he would be out there, determined to prove that it wasn't.
Looking at things logically, Ben knew that Joe was the natural son to take charge of the horse operations. Adam had run these solidly, but he did not have Joe's instinctive love and understanding of the animals. You simply could not imagine Adam sharing a cup of coffee with Sport, the way Joe did with Cochise! And Hoss was right – Joe was the best horseman in the family.
Then again, Adam had consistently provided a sterling example for both his brothers. He had an excellent head for business and had introduced many new innovations to the mining operations. It must be a little overwhelming at times to have such a paragon as your elder brother and Ben realised that it was important for Joe to be able to prove himself against the standard Adam had set. He squared his shoulders and looked at the three faces regarding him expectantly.
"I think that Joseph has proven himself admirably, not only with the horses, but in overseeing the whole ranch. It takes a mature man to realise he cannot do everything by himself. In choosing to delegate responsibility to reliable, experienced men, Joe was able to concentrate on the area of his own expertise, with positive results for everyone. The mining operations are expanding far beyond our original expectations now Adam, so I'd like you to concentrate on those right now. And I think it's only fair that Joe have the chance to run the horse operations from now on."
Adam stood up slowly and deliberately, crumpling his napkin and depositing it on the tablecloth, where it lay like a mute challenge. "One swallow hardly makes a summer! Joe is too young and too irresponsible…"
Joe interrupted angrily. "How can I ever become responsible with you standing behind me and correcting me? I did a good job and I'll do my best to make sure I continue to do so."
Adam gave a hollow laugh. "Because I know you, Joe. Sure, right now you're all fired up and full of enthusiasm. But sooner or later - next week, or next month, or even next year, you'll go off on one of your wild tangents or another of your mad schemes. And then all the hard work I've poured into this ranch will wash away, like so much dirt in the rain." He turned beseechingly to his father. "Do all my years of work count for so little? Are you trying to push me away?"
A few weeks ago, Joe probably would have flown at his brother. But this was too important to be thrown away on an angry impulse. His dream was finally coming true; it was almost within his reach. After years of being the youngest Cartwright, being looked after and protected by his entire family, Joe was finally being given a chance to show that he too could play a useful role and be a valuable part of life on the Ponderosa. And that mattered more than anything.
He met his brother's eyes steadily and spoke in a low voice that shook with barely suppressed emotion. "You are my brother, Adam, and I will always love you and respect you. But I just wish you could give me the same respect back. I've spent my life running after you and Hoss, trying desperately to catch up. Finally, there's something I can do better than anyone else and I thought you would be proud of me I'm just sorry I was so wrong."
Joe walked slowly out of the house, stopping for a brief moment on the porch, before drawing a deep, ragged breath and sprinting over to the barn.
"You really shouldn't have said those things," Hoss remarked sadly. "It's only fair Joe gets his change, same way you and me did. He was so proud to be given the horse breakin' and now you've taken all the shine of it for him. No-one's trying to push you away, but you're sure doin' a good job of pushing Joe away from you."
A thunder of hoof beats indicated that Joe and Cochise had left the yard at full pelt.