Will paced on Ronnie's back deck hoping that she would come back any minute. After he had woken up in her bed he had realized that he was alone. He searched the house calling out her name but the only answer he received was the buzz from her new fridge. He had tried hard not to panic but two hours had passed and she still wasn't back. Would she leave and not come back? He wouldn't put it past her right now. Emma's death had taken a toll on his wife. Truth was he wasn't doing much better than she was but he couldn't afford to fall apart. Ronnie needed him to be strong for her.
Will closed his eyes and felt the wind blow through his hair. He loved the beach. When their lives in New York were falling apart, this is where he had wanted to be. For some reason North Carolina felt slower than New York. He wondered what it would be like if Emma had lived. Would they be in New York enjoying her first year or would they have moved back so that she could grow up by the water? He wasn't sure but he wished she was around so he could find out.
His daughter had died. It was so hard to say and sometimes the thought could still leave him breathless. All he wanted was that moment back. The moment before everything went wrong. Maybe he could have done something different that would cause the chain of events to come out differently. But he still woke up every morning knowing that it was his fault they didn't have Emma with them.
What had he said that day? Hurry up momma? He had rushed Ronnie who had needed to use the bathroom. Why couldn't he have kept his dumb mouth shut? If she hadn't been rushing she wouldn't have fallen down the stairs in the first place. He was lucky he didn't kill Ronnie too. And that day in the hospital, when she had woken up, he had felt like the murderer he was. That was the day that started Ronnie's downward spiral.
Will took a deep breath trying to calm his nerves that were on edge. His stomach was churning from the ulcer he had developed over the last year, and had conveniently hid from his wife. She didn't need anything else to worry about. The best part of the ulcer was the acid reflux that kept his lungs burning continuously. He had been taking pills to control it but the divorce had set him back in his recovery. Stepping back in the house, Will found a piece of bread to munch on that would hopefully settle his stomach and a tall glass of soymilk.
When he heard the front door open he felt relief wash through him. "Where have you been," he asked trudging into the living room.
She seemed surprised to see him. "What are you still doing here?"
"I woke up alone in your bed and assumed we needed to talk about this. Seems like a rational thought to me," he snapped feeling the anger rise within him.
"Nothing happened. There is nothing to talk about."
"Nothing happened? You want a divorce but we ended up in bed together and you say nothing happened?"
Ronnie tried to walk away but Will grabbed her by the arms. "All over the world people fall in bed together. Perfect strangers. It's called a one-night stand. So when I say nothing happened I mean we had sex. Big deal."
"You're not getting a divorce from me. It's not happening," he tightened his grip on her shoulders until he saw her wince.
Under his fingertips he felt all the energy leave her body. Her shoulders sank and her head followed suit. "Please," she whispered as her voice cracked. She stared back up into his eyes and he saw the tears she was holding in. "I can't do this anymore. I can't live in a place where I'm constantly reminded of her."
Will released his hold on her shoulders and put his hands on her cheeks. "Then we will move. Pick a place and we will go. We will put a map down and close our eyes and wherever we point that is where we will go."
Ronnie smiled at him. "I wish it were that simple but you remind me of her the most. Every time I see you I think of what I took from you." Ronnie peeled his hands off her face and turned to go. She drifted towards the hallway but stopped to turn back to him. "I called my mom while I was out. She is going to let me move in with her until I get my bearings back. I'm going to take a flight out this afternoon."
"What about us," he asked feeling a sinking feeling in his stomach.
"I'm hoping you are going to sign those papers and in the long run, forgive me."
Will swung the front door open and slammed it behind him.
Three months later
Will sat on his porch with Megan watching the rain come down in sheets. She had seemed to make it her personal mission to get him out of his funk and had stuck to him like glue since Ronnie had left him. He still couldn't believe that they were divorced.
After the argument in her apartment he had still felt like putting up a good fight but he could see that she wouldn't make it through too many more. The death of their daughter had eaten up her resolve to fight and her body in the process. They had their last conversation that day but it didn't change the fact that he thought about her all the time.
"Mom wanted to know if you are going to have Sunday brunch with the family this week."
The weekly brunch had been set up so that his mother had an excuse to check in on him and so Megan could harass him about getting out and not becoming a hermit. They thought they were smart and that he didn't know what was going on.
"I don't think so. I have to call in to the New York office. Important conference meeting."
"We both know that no one is working on Sunday and you can't dodge us forever," Megan sank in her chair and crossed her arms. "It's time you started living again. This house is like a funeral home and is not helping you. Have you even cleaned out her stuff yet?"
Will put his beer to his lips and took a sip. The beverage was not his favorite but was the only thing in the house. "Am I not moving fast enough for you Megan? Because the last time I checked I was the one who lost a daughter and my wife. You have no idea what I am going through."
Megan stood from her chair and pulled the beer from his hands. "You're right. Losing our brother was hard enough and I can't even imagine what it would be like if my own children died but we know someone who knows exactly what you are going through."
Will didn't know what to say. How could she compare what their mother had gone through with what he had gone through? She had years with her son but Will had never been able to hold his daughter in his arms.
"Ronnie talks to her," Megan interjected. Will turned towards his sister. "Yeah, she has since Emma died. Right after the divorce she stopped for a few weeks because she was worried mom would blame her."
"Have you spoken to her?"
Megan nodded," she is doing well. She finally went back to work. Took a job a Julliard as a temporary teacher."
"Why didn't she go back to the orchestra?"
"She said she wasn't ready."
Will felt his heart lighten knowing he had this connection with her. If she didn't want to talk to him, he could always know how she is doing through his family. Will waved his hand in the air signaling that he wanted his beer back from Megan when he noticed the outline from where his wedding band use to be. Ronnie may have been able to remove herself from his presence but her mark on him was still present.
As if had conjured her up in his mind he saw Ronnie strolling up to the house out of the rain. Her clothes were clinging to her and her slight body was shaking. Will shot to his feet and ran out to her. "What are you doing here," he screamed over the roar of the rain.
"I needed to talk to you."
He noticed that her face was pale and her skin had a slight blue tinge to it. Before he could change his mind he swept her off her feet and ran her into the house. Megan followed behind and grabbed a towel from his closet so that Ronnie could dry off. Will sat down on the couch with Ronnie in his arms.
"What are you doing here," Megan asked while drying her off. Will took the towel from Megan's hands and wrapped Ronnie in it.
"I needed to talk to Will. It's really important," she said between her chattering teeth.
"You couldn't wait till after the rain stopped," he berated her.
"I'll leave you two alone. I have to pick up Noelle from school anyways." Megan picked up her purse and headed for the door. "I will see you at Sunday brunch."
Will nodded as she left. In his arms Ronnie wiggled out of his grasp and walked over to the window. "It's not very pretty out today," she commented. He wasn't sure why but his nerves were on edge. What would she have to tell him? Wasn't divorce the worst thing she could do to him?
"It's rainy season. If you had more meat on your bones it wouldn't bother you so much."
Will watched Ronnie trail her hand along the window as if she wanted to touch every drop. "I've been working on it."
"What do you want to talk about," he asked stepping up behind her.
Ronnie turned to face him. "About a month after I left I started feeling horrible and got sick every morning. I was worried I had cancer like my dad so I went to the doctor."
Will felt a knot form in his stomach. Was she sick? He wasn't sure he could handle any more bad news. "What did the doctor say?"
She hesitated before turning back to the window. "I'm pregnant, Will."
Will felt his legs turn to Jell-O before falling into the nearest chair. "How," he asked.
Ronnie sat down on the couch pulling her knees up to her chin. "That day in the apartment. I never went back to taking the pill and we didn't use any protection."
Will ran his hands through his hair wondering how he was supposed to react. His ex-wife was pregnant with his baby. The woman he loved more than anything. The woman he had given a divorce to, despite the fact that everything in him told him not to. "Now what?"
Ronnie shrugged," I don't know. I keep thinking that this is a dream."
"Well, it's not and we are still divorced."
Ronnie angled her head at him aware of the disdain in his voice. "I'm sorry it's over. But this was the right thing for us. Now we have to figure out how we are going to raise our baby in this environment."
"You mean, you living with our child in New York while I get to see him or her every holiday."
"That's not what I am saying. Gosh, I don't want to fight about this. We have plenty of time to decide living arrangements. Can't we just enjoy this moment?"
"I need time Ronnie. You come here and dump this in my lap and all I can think about is the fact that we are divorced and live in different states. This isn't an ideal situation."
Ronnie smoothed her hair down and fixed her shirt. "May I use your bathroom."
Will rolled his eyes. "This is OUR house. You are the one who walked out on me." He watched her walk away with no reply.
I'm really excited about this chapter. I think it came out really good. If you enjoyed it please leave a review or comment. It would be greatly appreciated!