Yes, a dreaded author's note! This is actually a troll chapter, not really a chapter, but it has the title of the would be chapter. It's been what, 5 months? Look, I've personally lost hope in this story; I'm plagued by writer's block. I also don't personally care for continuing with this story. I think I'm just going to delete this in a couple of weeks. Hate me, send me death threats, scorn me, love me, I personally don't care.
I've decided to move onto bigger and better things, like science. Who needs the humanities anyway?!
You know what, after I finish my little tirade I'll just write spoilers of what my fic would have had. But it happen, because I won't write it.
First of all excuses! I have made the grave blunder of taking 3 AP classes, an honors class, a zero period, and a sport as a junior in High School. I literally have only an hour or two of free time, and Tumblr is very addicting. I regret nothing though.
As a quick side note, I ship 00q btw, so if anyone still cares to talk to me, send me links to good fics ^_^
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Now this is the part where you scream in frustration and call me a horrible bitch for scaring you like that. To be honest I am sorry for taking so long to update, but writer's block is a bitch. I have this really good idea, but the words wouldn't flow for a while. Now I have ch.7 written up and I'm working on ch.8, so writer's block is GONE!
For the sake of my sanity and for the sake of your patience, I'm writing shorter chapters. This'll make it more feasible to post at a more consistent rate. I hope you're still in one piece, sort of...
Still read this chapter, it's a legit chapter. I have a feeling you'll like it, but this has nothing over ch.7, trust me, that one is WAY better. As for my little tirade, I think I'm done. This was very reliving for me.
Oh, and before I forget, I'll try posting chapters every Friday. The new norm. should be ~2,000 words; if I skip a week, there's either going to be double posts or a ~4,000 word chapter next. If I end up lying about this, I give Steve permission to yell at me. You know who you are Steve, I'm serious, you can yell at me, I won't get mad...
(By the by, I'm changing how JARVIS addresses people, the whole master thing is a little tedious. Let's go with Mr. Stark and Captain Rogers.)
4 months later 10:15 am…
"Peter, let's see if I really am your favorite uncle." Clint said he picked up the 14 month old baby. He carried him from his highchair and over to the living room. Bruce was sitting on the sectional watching TMZ when Clint stepped in front of him, blocking his view.
"It's now or never, today is the day we find out who the favorite uncle is." Clint issued his challenge.
"Does it have to be right now? I'm watching tv." Bruce asked annoyed.
"Come on Bruce, that show's crap. I know for a fact you don't like it."
"I never said I didn't. Besides, it was starting to get good. They just showed pictures of Robert Downey Jr. and his new son."
"Really, he has another one? Hey Bruce did you ever find it kinda weird that him and Stark look alike?"
"Actually yeah, do you think they're related?"
"Maybe, we could… no wait, you're distracting me. We still need to figure out who is the favorite."
Bruce picked up the remote, turned off the tv, and stood up. "Fine let's just get this over with. You're crazy though, it doesn't matter who the favorite uncle is; Peter's just a baby, he won't remember who he picks."
"Ah, but that's where you're wrong my glasses wearing friend, he will remember. He's going to subconsciously pick which of the two of us he likes the best." Clint answered smugly.
"Oh really, enlighten me." Bruce asked skeptically.
"Watch," Clint said as he set Peter down on the couch. "Petey, I'm Uncle Clint. Can you say Uncle Clint?"
"This is your master plan, asking Peter to say your name."
"All the movies and tv shows prove that whosever name a baby learns to say first, that person is going to be their favorite." Clint remarked matter-of-factly.
"You're… no I'm not even going to try. Good luck with that Clint. Try not to traumatize Peter." Bruce said as he started walking towards the elevator that leads to the lab.
"See, this just proves that Peter will love me best!" Clint yelled after Bruce as the elevator doors closed.
"Clint, don't get full of yourself, Petey loves me best. Isn't that right little tyke?" Tony said as he came down the stairs. He walked over to the sofa and picked up Peter.
"Ma ma." Peter said as he buried his face into Tony's neck.
"See, I'm the favorite." Tony remarked smugly.
"You don't count, you're his dad. No duh he likes you and Steve best." Clint said as he sat down defeated. "Anyway, what are you doing up so early?"
"Today is social service's last visit. She tends to show up whenever she wants. It doesn't look good if I'm asleep and Peter's crawling all over the house." Tony responded as he put Peter in his play pen and walked towards the kitchen.
"Oh shit, that's today?" responded Clint, surprise in his voice.
Tony walked back with a cup of coffee "Language. And yeah it's today, so if you have anything illegal in the tower, which I may or may not know about, hide it or get rid of it."
"Fuck! Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Clint yelled out as he ran to the elevator.
"It was on the calendar, not my fault you don't check it!" Tony yelled after Clint as he stepped into the elevator and the doors closed.
Peter started giggling. The second elevator door opened and Natasha stepped out.
"Do I even want to know?" Natasha asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Unless you have something illegal in the tower, plan on doing something illegal in the tower, and/or have anything that could potentially be harmful to Peter that isn't under lock and key, then no." Tony answered using his fingers to count off his list.
"Why does it matter, Peter isn't allowed past your floor?" Natasha asked again.
"Does no one read the calendar?" Tony sighed out in frustration.
"Wait, hold on." Natasha said as she pulled out her phone. Her shoulders slumped a little, and she quickly turned around and headed back towards the elevator. She boarded without saying a single word.
"I guess no one does. Come on Peter, you get to watch mama try to make breakfast." Tony said as he stooped down to pick up the toddler.
xxOOxx
4:28 pm
Pepper sat in a cushioned lounge chair on the balcony. She was holding Peter in her arms, bottle feeding him.
"Normally I'd be complaining that I got stuck with the grunt work Peter. Last time Tony tried taking care of another living thing' let's just say it didn't go well. All I have to say is thank God I don't have to be on him to take care of you, and I get to enjoy the simple things in life, like spoiling you like the bad aunt that I am."
Peter stared up at Pepper blankly, still sucking on his bottle.
"Now don't tell your dads, but we have a bet going to see who's going to crack first and go on some kind of murderous rampage."
"Miss Potts, Miss Patricia Morison is currently walking towards the elevator. I would advise you bring Peter, and tidy up." JARVIS informed her.
"Where are Steve and Tony?" Pepper asked, walking back inside the living room.
"Mr. Stark and Captain Rogers are still at the supermarket. I am currently dialing Mr. Stark's mobile." JARVIS answered quickly, just as the elevator dinged. A frustrated looking social worker stepped out.
"Ms. Morison, hi there, how are you?" Pepper greeted as she walked up to her. "My name is Pepper." She extended her free hand to Patty.
"Call me Patty. Sorry I'm late, traffic was a pain. Is it always this bad around here?" Patty said shaking her hand gently.
"Only today, we have major representatives, and supply trucks coming in and out." Pepper said as she led Petty to the sofas. "Please have a seat, I'm sure Steve and Tony will be back soon."
"Miss Potts, I have Mr. Stark on hold."
"See, Tony's probably going to say that he's on his way back already." Pepper said as she set Peter down in the play pen, and took out her phone.
"Pepper, please tell me JARVIS was kidding when it that Patty is there." Tony asked in and anxious tone.
"I didn't know you programmed JARVIS to be able to lie." Pepper responded sarcastically.
"Shit, I thought I had more time."
"Tony, you've been gone for an hour. What are you and Steve doing anyway?"
"Like I said when you first asked, we're at the grocery store."
"How busy can you be at the grocery store?"
"You'd be surprised. We'll be there soon. Steve put the fondue dow-." Tony said before he quickly hung up.
"They'll be here soon." Pepper said to Patty as she put her phone away, trying hard not to blush.
"Is something wrong Pepper?" Patty asked, raising an eyebrow. "Sounds like Mr. Stark and Mr. Rogers… are up to something?"
"Yeah they are, but they shouldn't take long. How about I get you something to drink, would you like anything?" Pepper tried to divert her attention.
"No thank you. I have a quick question for you Ms. Potts. It says here that Mr. Stark had selected you to be Peter's legal guardian in the event that anything were to happen. Is this true?" Patty asked as she set down her bag, and took out her clipboard.
"Yeah, that's right. Are you going to need to look at my home?" Pepper questioned.
"No, if Peter stays in Mr. Stark's and Mr. Roger's custody that won't be necessary. Now, I have other pending appointments, I think it's best I finish here as soon as I can." Patty said as she headed towards the elevator.
"Well I don't want to keep you here too long. Go ahead and start, I'll be up catch up in a bit." Pepper said as she went to pick up Peter.
xxOOxx
4:43 pm
Pepper walked up the stairs, Peter in hand. She had originally planned on finding Patty, but she found Clint wandering down the hall.
"Clint! What do you think you're doing here?" Pepper whisper-shouted.
"I'm looking for Stark. You wouldn't happen to know where I can find a dead bolt lock around here would you." Clint asked.
"There should be some in the lab. Why do you need locks?" Pepper asked in a hushed tone.
"Well I kinda keep a dozen or so guns and a spare bow set on my floor." Clint half mumbled in response.
"You what?!" Pepper whisper-shouted again. "And you waited until now to deal with it. What were you doing until now?"
Shying away Clint answered "I was, um… playing Halo 3 multiplayer…"
With that Pepper snapped "Oh my fucking God! Clint! Go and dump everything by the lab door, tell JARVIS to take care of it!" Pepper's voice was shrill.
"Any louder and she'll hear us, damn." Clint retorted, trying not to leave in total disgrace.
"Who's 'she'?" Patty asked.
Both Pepper and Clint jumped. Somehow Patty was able to sneak up on the master assassin. (Never underestimate the powers of a social worker XD)
"No one in particular." Pepper fumbled with her words.
"Ok..." Patty replied, slightly suspicious. "Now, would you be Dr. Banner or Mr. Barton?" Her question was directed to Clint. "Crouching behind Pepper isn't going to make me unsee you."
Clint quickly and fluidly stood up from his hiding place, and stepped in front of Pepper, hand extended. "Hello there Ms. Morison, I'm Clint Barton, but you can call me Clint." Barton introduced himself in a suave voice.
"Hitting on her isn't going to make her like you either." Pepper asided coldly to Clint.
"Whispering about me isn't going to make me less suspicious either." Patty interjected sarcastically.
"Right of course, sorry. It's just Clint can be pretty childish sometimes." Pepper said, gritting her teeth and jabbing her elbow into Clint's side.
"Ow! I mean… how about I show you around the rest of the tower? Pretty sure you've seen all of it, but one last look couldn't hurt." Clint said while rubbing his side.
"Actually could you take me up to your floor? The file says you're a new resident, need to make sure your floor is safe." Petty ordered as she walked over to the elevator.
Clint, catching up to her said," I don't think that's necessary. Peter isn't allowed past this floor under any circumstances."
"I'm aware of that, but I still have a job to do. Which floor?" Patty informed him in an assertive tone.
"Top floor." Clint caved in.
"Thank you." Patty entered the elevator, followed by Clint and they headed up the elevator.
"Shit Tony, where are you?" Pepper fumed as she headed down stairs, Peter starting to nod off in her arms.