The Highest Bidder

Chapter Twenty-Four: United We Stand, Divided We Fall

Lt. Jee was a respectable soldier aboard Zuko's ship, and whether or not the Prince liked him, it was hard to tell. Prince Zuko's treatment of his crew was off the map; and although I knew why Zuko acted so bittersweet, Lt. Jee was the main man who believed that Prince Zuko was a spoiled palace brat; it was the same impression that I once formed of Zuko when I first met him. That was before I found out why he searched for the Avatar. General Iroh had told me all about Zuko's banishment; that tale was just something that Zuko and I never talked about. We didn't talk about my banishment either, and the crew didn't understand what exactly happened to me that day either. Only General Iroh knew about Zuko and me in full detail.

It's not a day that I like to recall, but it is a day that is crucial to my life; and even when I try to put it out of my mind, the memory haunts me every night.

"Looks like he's keeping to the course," I said cheerfully, as I looked over the bow of the ship. Although the Avatar wasn't in hind sight, the flying bison had flown north for quite some time. "They must still be headed for the North Pole, I imagine."

Red squawked at me and climbed down my shoulder, and he fluttered lightly to balance on my hand. His head cocked to the side.

"Who has pretty feathers?" I said playfully, scratching his head. "You do, pretty bird. Who's a pretty bird? You are."

"Ma'am…"

I turned to see Lt. Jee looking at me strangely. I felt my face burn red, and I smiled embarrassingly. I had forgotten that he was standing beside me the whole time. Red flew off my hand and perched comfortably on a low table beside Iroh, who pet his feathery head quietly. Lt. Jee walked beside me and looked at the world map that I had been perusing on a second table.

"What makes you think they're due north?" he asked curiously.

"Well," I sighed," a few days ago, the Avatar and his pretty friend were after the Waterbending Scroll, right?"

"Yes."

"And they still have it," I added. "Well, if the Avatar is practicing Waterbending then obviously he needs a Waterbending teacher."

"Why wouldn't the Water Tribe girl teach him?" asked Lt. Jee curiously.

"I've seen the girl do some fancy splashes, and it's impressive, but the Avatar has to learn quickly, I imagine. They'll head for the North Pole to their sister tribe. In the Southern Tribe, the Fire Nation eliminated the Waterbenders. The girl that travels with the Avatar is the only one left."

"You sure know what you're talking about, Commander," he flattered, and he gently nudged me in the shoulder with a fist.

"According to Prince Zuko, I just talk a lot," I said casually.

"That's not all he says about you." Lt. Jee said. As soon as he said it, he covered his mouth instantly and looked at me with a slightly out-of-focus gaze. "My apologies, Commander…I—"

"Ah, shut up," I said carelessly, slugging him in the shoulder. "I know Prince Zuko is a little tight around the edges. You really shouldn't let him get you down. I don't."

"Don't take this offensively, Commander Mura," said Lt. Jee cautiously, "but you two seem to argue quite a bit. I mean, it's like there a few things that just shouldn't be talked about—Not that I'm saying that there's anything wrong with the two of you—or one of you—I mean—"

I stared at him incredulously.

"Dude," I sighed, "you're all out of sorts. Relax, Lieutenant. I'm not going to throw you overboard." I smiled, amused. "Lieutenant," I began compassionately, "I understand that you have seen Prince Zuko and me argue a lot in the last few days, but it's because we're all a little tired from being at sea for a long time. It is natural to become angry easily. Unfortunately, Prince Zuko and I both have nasty tempers. We come from different stock."

"But you are also Fire Nation," said Lt. Jee quietly. "It's not like you came from a Water Tribe and he's Fire Nation. You were a nobleman's daughter, weren't you?"

"I was," I said, and I started to feel a little down. "I believe things happen for a reason, and the reason may not be so clear. I've had quite an experience with the Fire Nation, Lieutenant, and not all my memories are pleasant. In fact," I said softly, "most of them aren't."

Lt. Jee gave me an empathetic look.

"I know. You were a fugitive when you were little," he said kindly. "But things don't have to keep going that way. You could prove to the Fire Lord that you are actually a telekinetic. I've seen you do some crazy things with your mind. It's incredible."

I winced at the thought of returning home.

"The only way that I would return to the Fire Nation was if I was captured. He would use me for a lethal weapon. I am nobody's trophy," I said strongly. "And I certainly won't go back without a fight."

Lt. Jee's eyes widened in dismay. He realized that he had said something that irked me; he set a hand on my shoulder to calm me down. I smiled sadly, and patted his hand appreciatively.

"I know that it sounds like I'm betraying my country," I said softly, "but considering the past, I might not have been a Fire Nation girl at all. The people of the Fire Nation are determined and have a drive; they know what they want, and they'll do anything to accomplish their goals." I turned to him. "I don't have that drive."

"But you're absolutely capable of tremendous loyalty," said Lt. Jee with profound adoration. "Commander Mura, you are probably the only person on board who shows that she cares for the crew and for Prince Zuko's obsession."

"Why do you say that?" I asked curiously.

"Have you seen the way the prince treats the crew?"

I clicked my tongue in disapproval.

"Lt. Jee, I know that Prince Zuko can be a bit rash, but—"

"He's not rash to you, Commander." Lt. Jee said. "He respects you. But he doesn't care about the rest of the ship. Aside from you, he treats the rest of us like dirt. Even General Iroh has to put up with his hot temper."

"You don't know what's going on in Zuko's mind," I said patiently.

"Look," said Lt. Jee lightly, "with all due respect, Prince Zuko has not earned his title on this ship; he doesn't respect anyone. Except maybe you, but even towards you he's more than just a 'rough-around-the-edges'. I know what happened to you; I know your story, but you're not even that rude to the rest of us."

I looked at him oddly.

"Why would I treat you in any way than I would like to be treated?" I asked.

"Well," he said, reaching for an answer. "Okay, I only know a little about what happened to you when you were banished, but—"

"I was never banished," I corrected him. "I ran away. I ran away because I was supposed to hurt a friend, and when I didn't, my good deed was thrown up in my face, and my parents paid my price." I felt myself becoming angry. "I ran away before the Fire Lord could hurt me too. I shouldn't have done it, but I did."

"'Too'? Who else did the Fire Lord hurt?" asked Lt. Jee, puzzled.

I remembered that the crew didn't know how Prince Zuko got his scar, and I closed my mouth the moment I realized that I had said too much.

"Nobody that I know," I said quietly. "But the Fire Lord isn't exactly a godsend…"

Lt. Jee must have registered that I overstepped some boundaries, for he and I stood in momentary silence.

"So," Lt. Jee said sympathetically, "after that day…After so many years of being away…Do you know if your parents are still alive?"

"What good would it do me to know if they are?" I said rhetorically. "If they are, they're still living my punishment. If they're not, well…What can I do about it if it's true?"

I shrugged and looked ahead at the clear horizon.

"I live every day on this ship like one full day of excitement; and if nothing happens, it's relaxing." I smiled slightly at the Lieutenant. "Like General Iroh, I try to treat this entire journey like a long vacation."

A flock of birds flew ahead. General Iroh came to stand beside me; Lt. Jee wandered below deck to check on the hard-working crew. Iroh glanced at me swiftly before saying calmly,

"They'll eventually learn just how much you loathe the Fire Nation."

He met my eyes.

"And once they do," he said softly, "how well do you think they'll cooperate with you?"

"I don't loathe it," I muttered. "I only wish that it wasn't the only nation waging war. There's no call for it."

"There are a lot of things that shouldn't happen," said Iroh, "but they do. And it isn't wise to openly express your opinions about Ozai."

"I don't care about him," I said apathetically. "I'm dead whether or not I respect him. Why should I lie about my respect for Fire Lord Ozai when he burned his own son?"

"It sounds to me that you hate Fire Lord Ozai for a different reason than what you told Lt. Jee."

"I hate him for imprisoning my dad and for sending my mom into poverty." I said truthfully. "I hate him for making me think that the only way that I'd be free from prosecution and death was to leave my home and make a nest on an island. But I hate him most of all for hurting Prince Zuko."

"You only found about what happened to my nephew a few weeks ago." Iroh said.

"And it's a terrible thing," I said angrily.

"So what, Mura? Will you return to the Fire Nation to give my brother a piece of your mind?" said Iroh sardonically. "Will you avenge my nephew by showing the same courtesy as what Ozai did to Zuko? What will that solve, Mura? Vengeance only makes the pain stronger."

"The world would be a better place without him," I said simply.

Iroh leered at me disapprovingly.

"What?" I said defensively. "It's true. He causes pain and rage and hurt all over the world—"

"Killing is distasteful," Iroh said. "And you know this."

"Fire Lord Sozin wiped out the Air Nomads from the Southern Temple. Fire Lord Ozai murdered the Waterbenders from the Southern Water Tribe. Homes were destroyed; lives were ruined…"

Iroh turned to me seriously.

"Mura, it is wrong to think that taking a life is a way of solving all your problems. You must keep your soul incorruptible; murder will only make it filthy. Your powers are rounded on purity. Mura," he said strongly, "you are right: you can never return to the Fire Nation. If you do, you will do regrettable things."

"If I do," I said quietly, "I might not have any control over it."

"That is why you must focus on the silver lining during a maelstrom," Iroh said patiently. He set a consoling hand on my shoulder. "Love gives you incredible power, and so does anger; but if you let it, anger can destroy you. You must not forget how you feel for Prince Zuko. He would not want you returning to the Fire Nation to wreak vengeance on his father…"

He turned me around slowly to persuade me to look at him in his eyes.

"You do not feel that the Fire Lord will accept your return because you no longer feel a part of the Fire Nation within you. But it is not rage or hate that makes us who we are as Fire Nation citizens."

My eyes disagreed, for I didn't have to say so. He tapped his chin thoughtfully; then he grabbed the map that was lying on the edge of the bow.

"Come to the galley with me. I want to show you something. It might make you feel better."

I sighed dejectedly. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and led me down into the ship where we sat in the mess hall. The ruby chimpanzee statue that General Iroh had purchased from the pirates sat on the table in front of me; moments later, Iroh placed the map of the four nations in front of me as well.

"Shen Si Ling is the spirit that works through you," said General Iroh, sitting next to me. "She is the spirit of the mind, body, and soul, and is equally knowledgeable of the ways of the world; in this case, she is knowledgeable of the four elements that create the four nations, including the Fire Nation. In your mind, you are lightly unbiased against all four nations, despite your resentment toward Fire Lord Ozai or your empathy to the Air Nomads. You feel detached from the Fire Nation because you recognize that its past is wrought with cruelty and misunderstanding; therefore, you do not understand the Fire Nation itself."

Iroh indicated the Fire Nation on the map.

"Fire is the element of power. The people of the Fire Nation have a deep sense of desire and will, and the energy and drive to achieve what they want." His hand crossed the border and pointed to the great city of Ba Sing Se. "Earth is the element of substance. The Earth Kingdom's citizens are diverse and strong; they are persistent and enduring." He pointed to the locations of the Air Temples. "Air is the element of freedom. The Air Nomads detached themselves from worldly concerns and prospered in peace and freedom." His hand fell from the Air Temples and pointed to the North and South Poles. "Water is the element of change. The dwellers of the Northern and Southern Water Tribes are adaptable; they have a deep sense of community and love that enables them to withstand anything."

"Why are you telling me these things?" I asked quietly.

"Because, Commander Mura, the spirit that lives in you when you are enraged or overcome with grief is the same spirit who has knowledge of all four elements and understands the nations. You are a telekinetic, and your mind and soul are impartial to the problems of this world."

"Impartial?" I said doubtfully. "I'm not impartial! I hate what the Fire Nation did to the Air Nomads; I don't like that at all—I—"

General Iroh pressed a finger to my lips and hushed me.

"My dear, I said 'impartial', not uncaring."

I stared at him.

"Shen Si Ling is a knowledgeable spirit who understands the four nations because she embodies the mind. Because you are the embodiment of this spirit, you understand all four nations as well."

I looked at the map.

"I'm not sure that I know exactly what you're saying. All this talk about the four nations and me being unbiased—It's starting to sound more and more like you're saying that I'm an Avatar."

"I'm not, by any means," chuckled Iroh. "I can explain your loathing toward the Fire Nation because you understand that it was wrong for the Fire Nation to wipe out the Air Nomads. You empathize with the Southern Water Tribe for the wipe out of their Waterbenders. You respect the four elements, and you understand what makes each element special and unique. And although you say that you despise your fatherland, I know that deep down, you are angry about it because it took your home away when you were a little girl.

"You have displaced your anger for Fire Lord Ozai taking away your parents to how my brother treated my nephew." Iroh poured me a cup of Jasmine tea. "The Fire Nation embodies the will and drive to achieve what we want, which is how Firebending is created; that's what Prince Zuko thrives off when he is Firebending. Capturing the Avatar is his motivation, which makes his power stronger.

"You embody the four—shall I say—'personalities' of the four nations because Shen Si Ling understands all people."

"You're telling me that a spirit gives me knowledge about my own?" I said skeptically. "This is starting to sound way too much like Avatar stuff…"

"It is very similar," said Iroh calmly. "But the Avatar isn't the only one who can use the knowledge of the four nations and elements to make him whole."

I sighed patiently.

"All right…" I gestured for him to continue.

"You are a true member of the Fire Nation; you were born and raised in the community. When your powers are enabled by Shen Si Ling, you thrive on the will and the energy that is done in order to do what is necessary: this can be good or bad. That is why you are able to do remarkable things that you wouldn't have been able to do unassisted. Your great power, the will to keep going despite what pain shall be incurred afterward, is Shen Si Ling acting in the Fire Nation blood, which runs through your veins."

"Great, so my awesome power comes from a nation that condemns it. That'll be something I can tell the Fire Lord on my way to jail," I muttered sardonically, sipping my tea.

Iroh gave me an impatient look.

"It's only condemned by those who don't appreciate its worth," he told me. He cleared his throat and refilled my cup. "I think it's a beautiful gift when you help out my nephew. However, using it for the wrong reasons—such as destroying Kyoshi Island—is putting it to ill use."

I bit my lip, slightly guilty. He continued as if he hadn't said anything about that.

"When you are in pain, and your powers are activated even after your migraines begin, you are able to endure through the knowledge that a person cannot fight for long duration, and Shen Si Ling acts through you; you are a strong girl, and Shen Si Ling knows that you won't go down without a fight. These are qualities that make up an Earthbender; through that, Shen Si Ling provides you the ability to bend rock and stone."

"I don't 'bend' anything," I said tiredly.

"You don't," he said, wiggling a finger at me, "but Shen Si Ling is a spirit—a knowledgeable specter—who knows the links between the Avatar and the Spirit World. During your time of need, she gives you the power to bend the rock under your feet.

"Airbenders, such as the Avatar, thrive on peace and freedom. This is probably the secondary personality that Shen Si Ling has provided you because you feel personal hatred for your country because of something that happened 100 years ago. The Avatar's people were wiped out, which leaves him to the only Airbender left. You feel compassion and understanding because you, too, are the only one of your kind.

"You refuse to help Prince Zuko if ever the Avatar is killed, which gives you the perspective that the world would lose its balance once he has vanished; this is true. The Air Nomads are in touch with the wild, their attention divided among the animals and the humans of the world. This could explain your love and affection for your new friend, Red, and why the Komodo Rhinos do not fear or loathe you."

I knew that he was going to talk about the Water Tribe next, and I couldn't help but think about the girl that was tied to the small tree. Katara of the Southern Water Tribe embodied the personality of the Waterbenders. I thought of her words to me when she said that Avatar Aang was the provider of world peace.

This, ladies and gentlemen, was where I started to doubt my loyalty to the Fire Nation and wonder if I had been working on the wrong side.

"The Northern and Southern Water Tribes take care of one another; if outsiders intrude on their home, they strike, but they strike with unity. They are adaptable to the change around them, and they understand that only through unity, compassion, and trust can they save their loved ones from danger and misfortune. They have a deep sense of helping one another through their time of need. Water is cool and soothing, and the Waterbenders implement this through the practice of healing powers.

"When I have seen you enter your state of complete control, you have entered it when you have rescued Prince Zuko. Your powers react to threats and insults to you and your loved ones. Shen Si Ling understands that you hold a personal hatred toward the Fire Nation because of what Fire Lord Ozai did to Zuko, and she understands your powers are driven by overprotection and an insatiable love for him."

"Insatiable?" I said awkwardly. "That seems a bit of a weird way to put it…"

"Your eyes dilate when you look at him," said Iroh simply. He smirked slightly and drank his tea. "I won't go further into that than what's appropriate. At any rate, Shen Si Ling gives you extreme power to protect Zuko when you feel that he is being burdened. She allows you to be able to protect him, but on the other hand, she gives you enough power to destroy your enemies."

Iroh leaned forward seriously.

"You have enough strength and hate to kill my younger brother, Mura," he said, "but you must try to understand that Fire Lord Ozai is not capable of change or persuasion. He will not see you as the powerful woman that you are today. He will see you as the young, frightened girl who came before him and refused to hurt his daughter. That's how he will see you, and that's how Azula will see you too. You must understand this."

I looked at him strangely.

"You think I'm capable of murder…Don't you?"

Iroh considered my question carefully. He leaned back in his chair.

"You are a vigorous, potent woman who is capable of great things. I've seen you take down an entire village and I've seen you help twenty men out of a southern ocean all by yourself. At this point in time, I think the spirits would act on your call, no matter what."

He and I sat in silence, sipping the rest of the Jasmine tea, both lost in thought.