Chapter 9 – Peace

If you wish to experience peace, provide peace for another – Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Remus was woken up suddenly in the middle of the night by screams coming from Sirius' bedroom. He darted out of bed and raced to the door, before it occurred to him that Sirius might not want him to intrude. After all, dreams and nightmares were a private thing, and Sirius had always been very defensive. Not to mention that Sirius was especially vulnerable after Azkaban. Remus didn't know what to do. He settled for banging on the door like a madman. The screaming stopped and silence fell. "Sirius?"

There was complete silence on the other side of the door. Sirius was obviously hoping that Remus would leave him be. Remus shook his head at the door and walked back to his bedroom. He glanced at the clock; it said 3:42 and Remus knew that he wouldn't be getting any more sleep tonight. He cursed and walked into the bathroom, hoping to be ready before Sirius emerged from his room.

After a full English breakfast (during which neither of them mentioned what had happened last night) the two men apparated to London. Sirius looked as if he were in two minds of whether he wanted to proceed. Remus knew full well that rumours and gossip would follow them the entire way down Diagon Alley, and where as the old Sirius would have lapped up the attention with a grin, the Post Azkaban Sirius was rather shy. "Come on Sirius, you'll have to face them sooner or later"

Sirius looked at him and nodded, apparently steeling himself for the inevitable reaction when he entered the pub. Remus followed after him, silently worried for his friend. A predictable silence fell as the two men entered the pub. Remus glanced around and followed after Sirius, who was hurrying through the pub trying to get to the other side.

"…Acquitted of all charges…"

"…Nearly three years in Azkaban for a crime he didn't commit…"

"…Always thought he was innocent…"

Remus snorted at the last comment, everybody, including him, had thought that Sirius was guilty. They had all looked at his family and simply wondered why it had taken him 21 years to show his true colours. Remus still couldn't really believe that he'd done it. That Sirius was back with him. He shook his head and pulled his wand out of his pocket. He tapped the bricks and then smiled as he saw the look of joy on Sirius' face as his freedom finally sunk in.

Sirius grabbed his arm and dragged him along to Gringotts. When Sirius' vault opened, Remus couldn't help but sigh. Sirius was trying to block his mounds of money from as if trying to spare Remus from looking at that which he didn't have. Him and James had done it every year when they came to Gringotts, and Remus was beyond caring. He felt that after Azkaban Sirius deserved it.

After Gringotts they walked into Ollivanders. Judging by the look on his face Sirius had been looking forward to this ever since he was free. As Remus had always had always had his wand, he didn't know what it must feel like for Sirius, to not have a wand. Mr Ollivander walked out into the shop, his eyes widening as he saw Sirius.

"Ah, Mr Black, I did wonder when you'd return for a wand. Let's see… Try this?"

He handed Sirius a wand, but Sirius shook his head almost instantly and handed it back. Remus settled in the chair by the window, he had a feeling that this would take rather a long time. Wand after wand was handed to Sirius, each with the same result. Ollivander finally handed Sirius a birch and dragon heartstring wand and Sirius froze. "That's the one"

He handed over seven galleons for his wand and they both bid farewell to Mr Ollivander. It wasn't until they were entering the robe shop that Sirius spoke. "You know, Mr Ollivander still creeps me out"

"That's because you're a wuss Padfoot" Remus replied. Their friendship was still there but it was as if it were covered by a layer of dust, that both of them were trying to scrape away. It wasn't easy though. How were you meant to repair a friendship where you had both thought the other was a spy? Remus wished that things could go back to how they had been, but he knew that each of them would nurse their hurt of being the perceived traitor forever. Remus sighed as Sirius walked off to examine the clothes on the rails. Remus leaned back against the wall, watching in bemusement as Sirius rummaged on the clothes rails.

By the time Sirius announced that they had bought enough, he was so heavily laden with bags that Remus had to take some to prevent Sirius from falling over. "You're such a girl Sirius. Is there anywhere else you want to go?"

"Estate Agents?" Sirius asked. Remus nodded and led Sirius to the desired shop. Sirius stared at the photos in the window, and Remus rolled his eyes at him before holding the door open for Sirius. He smirked and took one of the offered seats, trying to give the woman behind the desk his famous winning smile. It made Sirius look much more human, and much more like the man that he had once been.

"Good Afternoon gentlemen, what are we looking for today?" The woman behind the desk, Abigail asked. Remus leant back into his chair, knowing that he would have nothing more to do with it. After all, it would be Sirius' house.

"A three bedroom house, somewhere in the country. A wizarding neighbourhood if possible, but not Godric's Hollow"

"Three bedrooms? How many rooms do you want?" Remus asked incredulously.

"One for me, one for you and one for Harry" Sirius answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Remus stared at him in shock; Sirius had never expressed any interest in living together. He couldn't, especially if Sirius did get Harry. He couldn't put that little boy at risk from the beast that he became once a month. "Don't Remus, we can take precautions. Remove the risk completely"

"Sirius, I-"

"Stop making excuses Remus. Just come and live with me, and Harry"

Remus couldn't deny that he would like to be near Sirius. To prove to himself that he wasn't alone anymore. But he couldn't, he couldn't expect Sirius to help him when he was the one that should be helping Sirius. He couldn't have this debate; he couldn't even let himself think about it. The temptation would be too strong, and he would give in and then he would hurt one of them. He couldn't.

"Remus please? You know as well as I do that I'll need your help with Harry"

Remus smiled slightly at Sirius' words, who obviously took that as a yes. He turned back to the woman and began to search for a house. Remus just sat there, completely bemused by what Sirius was doing. If there was one thing that he'd learned from being at Hogwarts with Sirius, it was not to argue with him when he was mid-idea. He could argue with him later.

When they emerged from the shop an hour later, Sirius Black was the proud owner of a four-bedroom house in the Devon countryside, about 8 miles outside of Ottery St. Catchpole. Sirius was refusing to hear any of Remus' arguments about living with them. This was one of the things that annoyed Remus the most about Sirius, his refusal to see the dangers about the things that were in front of him.

"Sirius, listen, I am DANGEROUS! I cannot and will not put you or Harry in danger, that is if you even get Harry" Remus snarled, unable to contain his anger at Sirius' refusal to see.

"STOP IT! DON'T YOU THINK THAT I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING REMUS? I NEED YOU! And, stop saying that about Harry, I need to keep hoping, I need him like I need air Remus! I need to know that I didn't fail completely"

Remus stared at the unshed tears in Sirius' eyes, stunned. Sirius had never been one to tell people how he felt and there he was, tears in his eyes and shouting at Remus. "Sirius, I..." It was only after he opened his mouth that he realised he didn't have a leg to stand on. If Sirius needed him, then he would do anything for him.

"Sirius, there's somewhere I think you'll want to go" Remus finally broke the awkward silence. He sent the bags back to the beach house and held out his hand. Sirius took it and together they disapparated.

Sirius gasped as soon as he recognised the town square, but Remus kept hold of his hand and led him onwards. He had no intention of stopping to look at the memorial or the house, despite the fact that Sirius obviously wanted to. He led Sirius into the graveyard and straight to the grave that Sirius had already said he wanted to see. He dropped Sirius' hand as he stared at the headstone, completely lost in thought.

The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death

That phrase made tears form in Remus' eyes every time he saw it. He looked over at Sirius, who had tears falling freely down his face. Remus raised his wand and created a bouquet of flowers, which he handed to Sirius who laid them on the grave. They stared at the tomb, James and Lily's resting place until darkness began to fall. He looked at Sirius and smiled sadly at him. Sirius seemed to grasp the meaning instantly. James and Lily were at peace. It was there job to ensure that Harry got that peace.

AN: I have a question for you lovely readers, should I bring in chapters from Harry's POV? I'm having that internal debate as the minute but I thought I'd ask you as well. Please let me know