Rio Grande Forest, Colorado, 2019
They left the windows wide open to help air the place out; rid it of that stale wet smell that permeated the cabin on their arrival. The moonlight made a lattice-like pattern on the floor, as it broke through the mosquitoe screens Noah had installed.
It was also hotter than hell. All three of them had gone to bed, each wearing a pair of boxers; Luke and Noah taking the rickety old bed, while Leo slept on the sofa.
But even the dry heat didn't keep Luke and Noah from clinging to each other. They lay on their stomachs; Noah's arm reaching over the expanse of Luke's broad back; thumb rubbing small circles on Luke's bicep; noses touching. Luke could feel every one of Noah's heartbeats against his skin; feel Noah exhale between them.
They breathed heavily; gazes drowning in that intensity that was so them. Holding a conversation where words were obsolete; so damn grateful to still have each other after another near miss.
Noah Mayer had the looks of a charmer; only with a rougher edge brought on by a fair share of hard knocks; each one chipping away a little of the brunette's soul. His hair was shiny and thick and long enough to be irresistible; the glow from the moon behind him casting iridescent colors throughout the thick mass.
Luke dropped his gaze and allowed his eyes to follow the angles of Noah's face, noting every taut plane, the stubble covering his chin, and most of all the beautiful line of his lips.
Just so damn kissable. Always has been.
Noah was watching him too, with eyes that read his thoughts. "We'll be okay."
At the sound of Noah's deep voice, Luke looked up again. Their gazes connected; strong and true. Luke opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. His throat closed up; and his heart rate elevated; eyes stinging.
"We will!" Noah assured him, pressing a reassuring kiss to Luke's lips. "We'll be okay."
Luke curled into Noah until the two of them were forming an almost perfect egg-shape, legs hooked around knees; hands cupping backs of necks; foreheads touching; and the occasional gentle connection of lips.
Then Noah kissed him more deeply and Luke's body responded. The room filled with the sounds of crickets; the occasional call of a wolf or owl; and their breathing, shuddering with a yearning to be closer.
Luke fell to his back; arms flopping over his head to give Noah more access to his chest.
He closed his eyes as the brunette kissed a soft path from his belly button to the hollow of his neck; Noah's favorite place. Noah spent a moment sucking there before drawing Luke's head down to meet his own, kissing Luke's temple; cupping Luke's face and diving in for a breathtaking kiss. A moan escaped Luke's lips and Noah quickly checked over his shoulder to make sure they hadn't woken Leo.
But the boy was still fast asleep, curled up like an angel on the sofa.
They lay spooned for a while, Noah's cheek rested against Luke's, fingers running through Luke's hair.
They watched their son sleeping; enjoying the feel of each other's bodies pressed so tightly, fitting so perfectly; toes rubbing together.
Luke turned his head to Noah, staring earnestly up into Noah's blues.
"I know," Noah swallowed. "Me too."
Luke nodded; chest hitching.
Noah desperately mouthed the back of Luke's ear and Luke whispered, "There's the van…"
Noah smiled, kissed Luke; and rolled over the top of him, standing to his feet; holding out his hand for Luke to take.
They grabbed the blankets off the bed and stepped out into the warm night, opening the sliding door on the van as quietly as possible. Luke made a bed with the blankets and laid himself down into them, holding his arms out to welcome Noah.
As Noah worshiped Luke; caressing him like he was the most precious thing on earth; Luke nestled closer. He loved the way Noah smelled and drew comfort after an incredibly stressful couple of hours. He tightened his arms around Noah; palms soaking up the warmth of Noah's sweat-laced skin.
Pressing up on his hands, Noah paused above Luke, a breath away from him, breathing ragged. He inundated Luke with his very essence, that charisma that accessed Luke's every response; all the pain of the day, the fear for the future welling up over his features.
Tenderness bloomed inside of Luke, mixing with his desire. He rose up on his elbows and threaded his fingers through Noah's hair. Their mouths collided in a frantic exhilaration. Kissing Noah this way was always so sweetly right. Luke swelled with so much emotion he thought he might bust open from it all.
He traced Noah's lips with his tongue, eliciting a half groan of response from the brunette. Noah's fingers tightened on the nape of Luke's neck, and he tilted Luke's head back to deepen the kiss.
There was nothing more delicious than the weight of Noah's long body against his own and the forceful anticipation that would build steadily between them; liquid heat flowing through Luke's veins at every point Noah touched him.
Clothes vanished and, as their bodies connected, Luke ran a finger over Noah's open bottom lip, drawing the man's head down to swallow his passionate cries.
His own body took Noah, allowed Noah to sink inside him so effortlessly; kept perfect time to Noah's entry; falling into bliss. They assuaged the hunger they had for each other; every cell in Luke's body vibrating with urgency. With a long, pained groan, he dragged Noah back into him; again and again; crying out in that zone of pure pleasure.
Noah crossed Luke's arms around him, melded Luke to his own aching body, his hungry lips worshipping a path up Luke's neck and closing over Luke's ear lobe. Luke cried out again, arching back into his arousal and Noah followed, head rolling forward over Luke's shoulder, scooping Luke up in his arms and whimpering softly through his release.
…
When Noah opened his eyes, it was to a wall of packed supplies difficult to make out in the dark. He frowned at the baked bean tins, standing in a neat row like soldiers. He was confused for a moment, before he remembered they were still in the van. When he turned his head, he found Luke sitting naked up against the van's entrance, one leg bent while the other hung limp out the door.
He looks like a Rembrandt painting…
Noah smiled and shifted. When the blonde didn't smile back, he asked, "What time's it?"
Luke shrugged, resting his head back against the metal side of the van. "Still early... I can't sleep."
Noah crawled over to him, reaching out to smooth a hand up Luke's leg and cup the knee, squeezing gently; fanning his fingers.
"We went over and over this plan of escape," Luke said.
"Yes."
"We thought about how we'd do it, what we'd need, where we'd go…"
"Yes."
"But what now?" Luke plaintively asked. "We haven't planned for now…"
Noah threaded his fingers through Luke's, intently watching their hands. He knew Luke was right. But every possible event after they escaped contained too many variables to plan for. There simply was no answer for that.
"Today, we just focus on living…" he said.
"And what about the next day?" Luke asked, eyes glistening in the moonlight. "And the day after that… next week… a year?"
Oh Baby.
Noah encircled Luke in his arms and waited for the blonde head to rest against his chest.
"We do what we did the last time," he whispered into Luke's hair. "We live out here as best we can… then… when we think it's safe, we try fitting back in again… we build a new life. It's all we can do."
Luke stepped out of the van; pulling himself from Noah's arms. He leaned in; located his boxers and stepped into them.
"Luke…?"
Luke kept his back to Noah, arms crossed, staring out at the dark forest. "How long do you think we can keep this up, Noah?"
Sensing something brewing, Noah exhaled through his nose. He stretched to grab his own shorts before jumping out the van.
As Noah dressed, Luke continued, "Let's say… let's just say we do this. We assume new names… We find another place to live… How long before we have to run again?" Luke turned. "There's no future in this plan of ours Noah." He broke eye contact and gazed at the ground. "There isno future…"
"Dammit Luke!" Noah snapped, angry in just a split second. "All those hours we spent planning and now… nowyou bring this up?"
"I'm just telling you how I feel and…"
"Keep it to yourself!" Noah cut him off. "God Luke! It's the only plan we fucking have! You can't start tearing it apart now!"
"I can do whatever the hell I like!" Luke glared back. "If I have a problem I'm gonna to say it!"
"To what purpose?" Noah defensively asked. "How the hell are you helping the situation by doubting the plan? This situation is what it is, Luke! We're here, stuck out in the fucking wilderness! You can't suddenly decide out of the blue that we've made a mistake!"
"But that's just it!" Luke replied, throwing his hands up in the air. "We should have had more of a plan other than just being out here!"
Noah slammed the van door shut simply because he needed to release some of the aggression Luke was stirring up inside of him. "What do you suggest, Luke? We leave?"
Close to tears, Luke was shaking his head.
"Oh!" Noah sarcastically exclaimed. "I know! Why don't we go and check into the Hilton?"
"Stop!" Luke pleaded.
"I mean we have enough cash in the van, right?"
"I said stop!"
"Should set us up in a nice comfortable hotel room for, I don't know, at least a month! Wouldn't that be fun?"
Luke reached out and pushed Noah so hard he stumbled back, slamming into the side of the van. The blonde stood, fists balled at his side, cheeks streaked in tears; breathing hard.
Noah took a deep breath, shaking his head. "We'd be spotted in a heartbeat, Baby. We've planned this for nineyears. We have to keep faith in that plan…" He waited a moment to steady his voice. "For Leo's sake."
"And what about Leo?" Luke sobbed. "What about school? Friends? A life, Noah? He's not a baby anymore!"
Noah softened, reaching out his hand and waiting until Luke took it. "It will only be for a few months. We'll teach him ourselves if we have to until then. It really is too late to question now, Luke… You get that, right?"
Luke reluctantly nodded; exhaling a trembling breath. "I'm just so fucking scared for him."
"Are you guys fighting?" Leo stood on the tiny porch, scratching the back of his head and leaning sleepily against one wooden pillar.
"No… we're not," Noah assured him, shaking his head and holding out his left arm. "Come here."
Leo walked over, rubbing his eyes. Noah slung one arm around his son and the other around Luke. And there they stood, holding each other in the warm evening breeze.