Ronnie sat in the plastic chair that was wrapped in green and burgundy cloth watching Will laugh it up with Ben. All the wedding dances were over and everyone had finished eating. Now she was waiting for the toasts so that she could chomp down on a big piece of cake. In her hand she held a tall glass of sparkling cider while ogling Makayla's Cabernet Sauvignon.
"I can't believe you are divorced," Makayla repeated for the millionth time that hour.
They both stared across the deck to where the guys were talking animatedly. Will had one hand in his pocket while the other was holding a similar glass of sparkling cider. Obviously he wasn't concerned about drinking from the kiddie table. He laughed at something Ben had said and took a sip of his drink.
"How could you let that beautiful specimen of a man go? If I were you I would remind him tonight why it is he married you. Then when he gets back home he will forget all about this Annie character."
The plan sounded great to Ronnie but she knew that things had become complicated over the last few months. It wasn't just her life she had to consider but her baby's. She placed her hand on her stomach and felt the baby kick as if in agreement.
"Annie is good for him," she relented. "I hurt him really bad when I left. Now I just want him to be happy."
Makayla shrugged while peering back at Ben. "At least tell me she is snobby or something. Give me something to work with."
Ronnie sighed," I wish I could but she is as close to perfect as someone can get. This is the same woman who will bring me dessert when they go out to dinner."
"That is thoroughly disgusting."
Across the deck she watched the newlywed Mrs. Patterson smiling from ear to ear. There was always this glow about new brides. Her dress, which must have cost an arm and two legs, was beautiful with its simple draping and intricate beading on the bodice. But nothing was as beautiful as the smile on her face. There was no denying how ecstatic she was to be Mrs. Ryan Patterson.
"If you are not planning to get him back, what are you going to do?"
"I've been thinking of moving back to New York. I have been scouting apartments online. I even had my mom check one of them out."
"Have you told Will," she asked tentatively.
Ronnie bowed her head. "I think we have been avoiding the future. He is adamant about not being a weekend and holidays father but New York is where I need to be to further my career."
"He already lost one child, Ronnie."
Ronnie rubbed at her temples feeling a headache coming on. "How am I supposed to stick around and watch him marry Annie? Watch them have kids? I can't do it."
"Who says that is what is going to happen? You just told him you want him back. What did you expect him to do? Call Annie, who is on vacation with her family, and break up with her over the phone. Will would never do that."
Makayla paused before standing to her feet. "Just give him time," she finished before walking over to her husband.
Ronnie knew she was right. Even if Will had decided to give them another chance he would wait to tell her after he could speak with Annie. He was loyal and a really good person. There is no way he would hurt either one of them if he could avoid it. Now all she had to do was wait till he made a decision.
"I saw you eyeing her drink," Will whispered in her ear sending chills down her spine. He placed his glass on the table and held out his hand. "Would you care to dance?"
"I don't know. I'm not exactly in dancing form right now."
"Well, you did seem to figure it out with Alston a few days ago," he smirked. "Come on."
She let him help her to her feet and was led onto the dance floor. He pulled her as close as her stomach would allow and smiled down at her. He was breathtakingly handsome. While Will had dark brown hair it always seemed to lighten during the summer months giving off the appearance of bright gold highlights. She reached her hand up and instinctively ran her hand through it.
"You know this makes me think of our wedding," he started.
"Except I wasn't as big as a whale then," she laughed.
Will shook his head," You're beautiful."
Ronnie felt her heart beat erratically at his compliment. How could he be so wonderful after all she had put him through? Not only had she divorced him but she had also told him she loved him while he was dating someone else. This stuff could be used on a soap opera and she was starting to think she was in one.
"Will, I think we need to talk about what is going to happen after I have the baby."
Will rubbed his thumb against her fingers that were intertwined with his. "I was thinking about that and I don't see why I couldn't buy a house close by for you and the baby. I could also help you out if you want to stay home for the first few years."
"That's too much. I couldn't ask it of you."
"You're not asking. I'm offering," Will said.
"I also thought of another solution," she gulped before finishing her thought. "I could go back to work. I don't think I would have a problem getting my job back at Julliard."
She felt him stiffen in her arms and stop dancing. He stared down at her with a grim look on his face. Ronnie knew he wasn't going to take this well. He grabbed her arm roughly and led her of the reception area. When they got outside to a secluded spot he let her arm go and walked a few feet away. She could tell by his stance that he was trying to keep his temper in check.
"You're not leaving this state. Do you understand me," he asked with a deathly calm. "If you even think of it I will take you to court for full custody."
Ronnie placed her hand over her stomach protectively. "You wouldn't."
"Don't think so," he asked coming up in front of her making her aware of his full height. "I already buried one child and I'm not losing another."
"I need to work Will," she shot back putting her hands on her non-existent hips.
"You can do whatever you want but my child is staying here."
The garden they were standing in was in full bloom and with the birds singing it created the perfect picture of peace. She wished she could take and bottle up that feeling because she seemed to be in a constant state of unrest. Her doctor kept warning her that it wasn't safe for her or the baby.
The truth was she was running away. She didn't want to stick around while Annie and him grew closer together. How would it be for their child to see their daddy with a separate family? What if Will loved them more? What if he loved Annie more?
Ronnie turned and spotted a bench on the side of the courtyard that was white with green trim and sank down in the seat. That was the real problem. She was worried that Will would love Annie more. After everything that they had been through he could end up loving Annie more than he ever loved her.
"I can't do this Will," she put her hand over her mouth trying to hide the shock from her face. Her wanting to move back to New York had nothing to do with supporting their child. What she wanted was to hide from the reality in front of her. Will was moving on.
"You can't do what," he asked sinking down in the seat beside her. He cupped her face in his hands looking her square in the eye. "What is it you can't do?"
"I can't stay and watch you love her," she felt a tear roll down her face and Will's finger wipe it away. He seemed to contemplate what she said but remained quiet. Ronnie felt her bottom lip start to quiver. He took a shuddering breath and pulled her into his arms. Through the jacket she could feel heat radiating from his body making her feel warm and safe.
"I don't know what the future holds for us. Maybe we will stay here for a few months and then in New York. All I'm asking is that you don't take my child away from me," he said before lightly placing a kiss on her head. "Please."
Ronnie pulled back, staring into his eyes. She wanted him. She wanted the man she had fallen in love with. The man who had seen her through many trying times. She wanted the man who had risked his relationship with his mother to be with her.
Slowly, hoping not to make him pull away, she ran her hand through his hair. "Kiss me."
Will gradually leaned towards her until she could feel his breath on her face. His eyes darted back and forth as if he was trying to read her like a book. "I can't do this Ronnie," he whispered before standing to his feet and walking away.
Ronnie stood on the outskirts of the Blaklee property appreciating the fact that she hadn't been seen entering. The path she stood in front of was three feet wide and canopied by white oak trees that cast the path in shadows. She walked tenderly through the brush feeling her heart beat a little faster with each step. She hadn't been back since that day.
It had been a somber day with only twelve people to acknowledge the fact that any life had existed. A life that only a few hours before had been rolling in her stomach as her sibling was doing now.
She walked to the end of the path until it opened up behind a pair of wrought iron doors that had been placed for decoration. There were only a few headstones; one of them she had seen Will stop in front of many times. It was his brother's grave that she carefully cleaned off before walking over to her daughters.
Sinking to her knees, she felt the tears already running down her face. This was the moment she had been avoiding since that fateful morning. In her hand she held sunflowers that she had bought from a florist. They had beautiful mustard coloring and a dark chocolate center. It was the perfect flower, for her perfect flower.
"Hi, Emma. It's your mom," she sniffed and pulled out a tissue to wipe her nose. "I was thinking about you the other day and as I did your sister or brother here decided to start kicking me real hard so I took that as a sign that we need to come visit you. I know you must be mad at me for not coming to visit more but…well, I have no excuse. I don't know how I got here."
Ronnie looked back at Mike's headstone and wondered if Susan had ever had these same conversations. Maybe she had come out here to bring Mike flowers and tell him that she loved him and missed him. Or maybe, she had to explain why she could barely get out of bed in the morning because facing another day without him would be too much.
She turned back to Emma feeling a stabbing pain in her heart. "I'm so sorry Emma. How could I have left you here all alone?"
"She hasn't been alone," she heard Will's voice from behind her.
Well, I thought I was almost done but then I was taken in a different direction. Obviously I'm not going to be able to finish this up by next chapter. I hope that's okay. I want to start finishing this up but I don't want to rush it or leave this project feeling unfinished. I would love it if you would leave a review/comment. It really helps me stay focused. Thanks!