I know I said that the next update would bring us back to the main story, but then I received this from a reader. This is a bonus piece written by jwolfe_beta on the SV board and is faithfully replicated here.

AN: Because M*A*S*H was far from laughs at times.

They Fought, We Operated: Special Guest Feature

-The Briefing-

It was a somewhat tense meeting among of the command staff and senior members of the 407th (well those that could attend the meeting, the life of an army surgeon was hectic at the very least) and the messenger from the Intel boys back home. The bad news was that there was a messenger in the first place instead of a message. Which meant that the ISC thought this was dicey information (and Potter didn't want more stress). The good news was that this one was saner than Flagg (not that was saying much).

"Alright." The man started. "Everyone here knows how gossip spreads in army bases but my superiors requested that you try and only inform the officers here. Or more realistically, when it does spread to the non-coms, try and keep things semi-calm."

Pierce nodded and without getting up from his chair, kicked the office's door-frame once. "That means stop listening in Klinger, we'll fill you in on the juicy parts later."

"No idea what you're talking about sir." Came a voice from outside the office that tried it's hardest to sound innocent. "I'm just filing some reports." It did not succeed.

"Klinger!" Potter growled.

"Right, I just remembered that some forms needed to be sent over to post-op, very important, gotta be done right away, bye sirs!" Rapid footsteps sounded as Klinger beat a hasty retreat.

Reactions varied. Pierce and Hunnicutt chuckled, Winchester looked mildly amused, Houlihan was affronted and Potter barely even blinked. The stunts of company clerks were far from a new thing for him.

"Thank you, captain, now we can get down to brass tacks." The officer retrieved a file from his briefcase and began to leaf through the contained files. "Two days ago, Col. Potter requested additional information based on the discovery of the Leporid girl by Corp. O'Reilly-"

"Leporid? The girl has a name, captain." Potter interjected, somewhat irate at the seeming dehumanization of the patients at his CSH. Didn't matter if the young lady was human or not, there were certain things the old army surgeon would not accept.

"I do believe Colonel, that the label used is a placeholder for the name of the young girl's...people," Winchester answered. "Simplistically based on the taxonomic family Leporidae in which rabbits and hares are placed." His near eye-roll showed his opinion of the so-called 'wit' of the army choosing such a title.

"At least until we can find out they call themselves. So far we haven't exactly had the opportunity to get into their national history. Boys back home have been focusing on who the people that declared war on us are." The intel officer said with a shrug before extracted some stapled together papers.

"As for treating her and any other...exotic patients, the labs have the first round of compatibility tests done so you can have a list of dos and don'ts. Most are common sense but there are a few allergies and bad reactions to things we don't even think about in most of our new neighbors, human and otherwise."

Houlihan took the offered document and started flicking through them, muttering as she started cataloging all the minor and major changes that her nurses would have to do.

"As for the girl's...condition, we believe it to be directly related to the overall culture of the nation answering the title of The Saderan Empire which attacked Japan through the Gate. While it isn't a perfect match, from what has been found, these people seem to be very similar to the classical Roman empire."

A muttered curse of "Veni, Vedi, Vici." came from Winchester.

Pierce, however, was somewhat skeptical. "What's the problem? Home of Latin, toga parties, overblown circuses and 'Et Tu Brute?'."

"It's not about who they are, Hawk. It's about how they treat everyone else isn't it?" Hunnicutt added, directing the question towards the messenger.

The captain nodded. "Correct Captain Hunnicutt. Any other peoples are considered nothing but barbarians with no rights and whose destiny is to be conquered and their lands taken. If you must deal with them particularly outside the camp, ensure that you have armed backup. Do not expect anything resembling Geneva convention codes of conduct."

"The young miss Parna was an escaped slave no doubt." Winchester's voice was steady but you could easily tell he was upset. "And in regards to her removed ear?"

At this, the man was visibly uncomfortable. "From what we have been able to find out, it is a common 'mark of ownership' that Saderans perform on newly enslaved Leporids. I can't say what a self-inflicted form of it might mean."

"I hope that you people gave Dr. Freedman the 411 about this before he got here," Pierce asked, visibly trying to retain his calm.

"The psychiatrists were the first we told. Last item on the agenda is that you will be getting additional personnel and equipment."

At this, there was a collective blink from the 407 staff. The army and government just giving them extra hands and goods? That sort of thing just didn't happen.

"Specifically some specialists on loan from the CDC, containment and sterilization equipment along with antibiotics and vaccines. In particular 20,000 doses of vaccine code V041 ICD-9." This left most present with puzzled expressions, as the code didn't appear to ring any bells.

Apart from one."Sweet Nefertiti!" Potter exclaimed, his face going nearly as white as his hair. "Why in the name of Sweet Fanny Adams are you sending us that much Smallpox vaccine?"

"Smallpox vaccine?" Hunnicutt questioned in surprise. "Are you saying we could face a bioweapons attack of some kind? I mean, even then our guys should have already been vaccinated and you're sending us more doses than we have people out here."

"A needed precaution sir. During the Interrogations, plagues were mentioned and some of the symptoms of one described do resemble smallpox. I'm no expert but this is a whole new world with a civilization that has large urban centers, people and livestock sharing space, pre-modern sewage systems and to top it off, multiple near-human species living alongside them adds a whole new element to zoonosis. Not to mention the number of prisoners and Saderan wounded here, an outbreak is a possibility we can't ignore. Also, the experts feel there is a very real chance we will encounter a brand new disease or an unknown variation on an existing one. So they're sending everything."

"Well son, I guess you folks have your reasons for being so twitchy. I just hope you're seeing smoke with no fire. This old war-horse doesn't need any more surprises."

After that last bombshell, the meeting degenerated to more mundane matters. As it wound down and the officer left to head back through the Gate the five started trying to figure out new policy and how to properly brief the rest. Another day at an army hospital, another SNAFU to work through.

AN2: The Empire is from transplanted Romans from Earth and the Antonine Plague might have been caused by smallpox. Either way, there are going to be all new diseases that the army would have to be ready for. It just makes sense that the hospital would be among the first to be informed.

AN3: And yes, Potter has a bunch of weird sayings that he would use in the show terms 'Potterisms'.