Chapter 21 – Arguments

Whenever two good people argue over principles, they are both right – Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

"Remus, I need to talk to you"

"About what?" Remus sounded confused. Sirius smiled, he'd kept this information to himself all day, but he couldn't any longer.

"I have a date," Sirius announced happily.

Remus looked utterly flabbergasted. "What? When? With who?"

That wasn't quite the reaction he'd expected. Remus sounded almost jealous. Sirius' smile faltered, he'd thought Remus would be happy for him, happy that Sirius was finally starting to regain his feet. Sirius frowned. "Alex Harris, from school…we're going for dinner on the 27th. Why are you so bothered?"

"Why am I so – what are you hoping for with her?"

"What kind of question is that? I don't know, I'll just see how it goes. Why does it matter?"

"What about Harry? He needs your full attention" Remus asked.

So that was why Remus was annoyed. He needn't have worried. "And he will have it. Harry is and will always be the most important person in my life"

"What if you fall in love? What if you have your own children?"

Remus was going too far with this. "Who said anything about love, or kids? Remus, it's just dinner"

Remus, obviously sensing he was getting nowhere, changed tack. "You can't do this to Harry. It took him weeks to learn to trust us. You can't introduce anybody new to him"

Sirius stared at him, stunned. He hadn't expected a reaction like this, Remus seemed utterly furious. He seemed dead set against Sirius going out. Sirius didn't really know what to say, he'd arranged everything so that nothing would interfere with Harry. He wasn't an idiot, he was well aware of Harry's trust issues, but it wasn't like he was dating Voldemort. He wasn't even sure if he'd introduce Alex to Harry. It was only dinner for Merlin's sake.

"Who said anything about introducing somebody new?"

"You did Sirius! I know you too well to think you'll take it slow. Harry needs stability"

"Since when does going out for dinner mean that there won't be stability?"

Remus actually snarled at him and took an angry step towards him. Sirius didn't understand why he was so angry; it wasn't like Alex was a stranger. They'd both known her since Hogwarts. Did Remus not want him to have a life? He needed a chance to recover from Azkaban. Harry and Remus were everything to him, but sometimes he felt like he needed something more. Something to help him feel alive.

"Because it's you Sirius"

As much as it pained him to admit, Remus was right. He wasn't exactly known as the stablest marauder, he was the player of the group. He had always known that he was good looking, and he'd used that to its full extent in his youth. He'd never been the settling down with a family type, and yet here he was, looking after Harry. He would have done anything for that little boy, but at the same time he couldn't help resenting the chains that held him here. After three years in Azkaban, all he wanted was freedom. He had that freedom to a certain extent with Harry, but seeing the happy grin spread over Harry's was so worth the confines. He felt like his heart was going to explode every time he saw it. Azkaban had definitely changed him.

"I'm not the man I once was Remus. I don't know who you think I am, but I am not what you think"

"You're right. You're not the man I thought you were. The man I though you were was utterly devoted to Harry, and just like old times, Sirius Black cares more for himself than he does for others"

Ouch. That was the problem with arguing with your friends, they always knew how to hit where it would hurt most. Remus didn't understand, Sirius was utterly devoted to Harry, but he needed something else. Did he not deserve that?

"I never would have thought that you would stoop so low Remus. I just…its dinner. I'm not leaving, I'm not falling in love, I'm not starting my own family, it's just dinner with an old friend"

Remus shook his head slightly. "Harry and I need you. You can't go gallivanting around with pretty women and just leave us in the background"

"Remus, I… I'm not going anywhere. You and Harry are the most important people in my life. I would do…anything for you, you know that, right? Remus, Alex is nothing compared to you" Sirius said softly, tears forming in his eyes.

Remus stared at him, eyes wide as the impact of Sirius' words hit home. "Sirius, I –"

"Forget about it Remus. I'm going to bed so I can be up early tomorrow, to be with Harry" Sirius walked away slowly and then practically fled up to his bedroom, Remus' hurtful words still echoing in his ears.

Sirius didn't know what to make of Remus' outburst. He'd talked about Harry, but he hadn't once mentioned himself and Sirius had a shrewd suspicion that that it was more about Remus than he admitted. Sirius guessed that Remus was afraid of being left behind. He obviously feared being left alone again. Sirius frowned, scaring Remus had not been his intent. He cared far too much for Remus to let that happen.

Sirius emerged from his room and tiptoed down the hall to Harry's bedroom. He didn't think he'd get much sleep tonight, Remus' words were still haunting him. He pushed the door in front of him open and peered in.

Harry was lay on his side, gripping the duvet tightly under his chin. Sirius had already said good night to Harry, but now that he could see the messy head on the pillow he wanted to be close to him again. He crept over to the bed, careful to avoid waking Jethro and knelt down, lightly pushing the black hair off his face. Sirius frowned at the sight of the scar on his forehead, a reminder of that awful night when they all lost everything. He smiled as Harry moved, pulling Finley closer. He really was the best thing that had ever happened to him, despite the circumstances that had occurred to make it so. He placed a kiss on Harry's forehead and leant back against the wall, quite content to sit and watch the slow rise and fall of his tiny chest, each breath reminding him that he hadn't lost everything.

OoOoOo

"Sirius? What are you doing?" Harry's voice cut in to Sirius' consciousness. Sirius opened his eyes and groaned. It would seem that he'd fallen asleep on Harry's bedroom floor. Awkward. Sirius sat up straight and pulled the still pyjama clad Harry onto his lap and tickled his sides fiercely.

Harry squirmed and writhed, trying desperately to get away from Sirius' hands. "Stop…Sirius stop" Harry managed to choke out between laughs. Sirius pretended like he couldn't hear him and tickled him even more.

"Did you say something Harry? I didn't hear you"

"Yeah…Stop!" Harry shrieked loudly. Sirius stopped tickling instantly and looked at him confusedly.

"If you wanted me to stop, all you had to do was ask" Footsteps thundered down the hall and Sirius braced himself for the neurotic Remus that was sure to follow. Harry's shriek, obviously hadn't just woke Remus, but Jethro as well. The puppy was busy trying to jump onto Harry and Sirius' lap. Remus threw open the door, wand in hand.

"What's happened? What's wron – oh, are you OK Harry?" Remus stowed his wand and caught Sirius' eye. The moment of connection seemed to stretch on forever, it was almost like Sirius could lose himself in Remus' light brown eyes. No words were necessary between them. From the bags under Remus' eyes Sirius could tell that he hadn't slept much last night, that he'd spent most of the night thinking about their argument. Sirius smiled at him, they would both pretend like nothing had happened. Sirius climbed to his feet, Harry already on his hip.

"Breakfast first, then a bath?" Sirius asked Harry. The little boy nodded vigourously, Sirius could only wish that his dilemmas would prove so easy to confront. He followed Remus out of the bedroom, thinking about their argument. Remus had seemed almost beside himself with rage. Sirius promised to himself that he wouldn't bring it up again. They'd obviously both decided to act like nothing had happened; maybe if Sirius told himself that nothing had happened enough times, he'd actually believe it.

AN: I know I said thank you last time, but I want to say it again, especially to sophia7hogwarts. The site won't let me reply to your review, but thank you so much for your kind words, they actually made my day :D

Anyhow, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and please don't get too mad at me for making Remus and Sirius argue. I figured that Remus is such a secretive person, that he would try and disguise his own fear and anger by bringing up Harry. Please leave a review?