On My Own Too Long

Reid and Prentiss

Chapter Three

March 2011

"I need a medic," Derek Morgan cried into his walkie talkie. "Officer down! Officer down!"

Hearing this made Spencer Reid's heart jump into his throat as he moved through the darkened warehouse that they had tracked Emily to. He hadn't heard any gun shots but that wasn't the only way a person could be hurt and what if that person was Emily?

Reid was so scared he couldn't even form words. He heard next, through the walkie talkie, Hotch ask "Where are you?"

"Basement. She's breathing but unconscious. No sign of Doyle."

She...Emily. Reid hurried to the basement, along with other officers, and found Emily laying there with Derek holding her hand. Reid took her pulse and found it normal.

Gently he shook her "Emily, Emily...We're here. You're safe now."

She didn't wake up till later at the hospital. After going through some tests for her closed head injury the team was able to come into her hospital room.

Hotch stood there with his arms crossed over his chest. Morgan glared at her. Garcia was teary. Seaver was stunned. Rossi was sympathetic and Reid was just thankful Emily was alive and back among them, even if Ian Doyle did get away.

She sat in the bed with a bandage on her forehead, where she got a cut. "I know I screwed up. I -"

"You think?" Derek asked.

"Let her talk," Hotch ordered.

Reid stared at Emily, as he sat nearest her bed, but she avoided his eyes while she said "I know how ruthless and dangerous Doyle can be. I didn't want any of you involved."

"Bullshit!" Derek cried. "You didn't want to fess up about your past! That's why you did all this. You cared more about keeping your dirty little secret then you gave a damn about any of us. You could have gotten all of us killed or yourself! Damn, Prentiss!" He stormed out.

Garcia sniffled. "Don't you dare ever scare me like this again," she said, before leaving the room.

Emily watched them go and then said "I can't just go back home and wait for Doyle to murder one of you like he did my former team mates."

JJ said "You're right. There are marshals on their way ready to take you into protective custody."

"Wait, what?" Reid asked. He looked at his boss. "Hotch?"

"Its an order that comes from above my head. It's the only way to ensure Prentiss' safety till Doyle is in custody again. I don't like it either but we don't have a choice."

"Sure we do!" Reid cried. "We keep working the case. We caught up to Doyle once. We can do it again. This team is the best and brightest and we all care the most for Emily."

Rossi said "That's the thing, kid. For us its personal and you know that is the way that mistakes get made."

"So we just let her go?" Reid asked.

Seaver chimed in "Is this really the only option?"

"I'm afraid so," Hotch said. He looked at Prentiss "You'll have no contact with anyone at all till Doyle is apprehended, is that understood?"

"Yes, sir."

"And if you escape protective custody you can consider your career with the FBI over,"Hotch added. He walked to the door and looked back "Good luck," he said, in a kind tone, before leaving.

Rossi rubbed Prentiss leg. "Take care and remember that no matter how long it takes one day you'll be back home and your family will be waiting."

Seaver said "Thank you for everything. You've been there for me more than anyone else. I'll miss you."

After Rossi and Seaver left Prentiss turned to look at Reid. "I know this sucks but at least all of you will be safe."

"But I don't want you out there all alone, Emily."

"I won't be alone. I'll have marshals guarding me."

"They don't care about you the way the team does. Its not the same."

"Maybe its better that way. I've felt so sick for the last month worrying about this. Not sleeping. Not able to hold down any food. I was making myself ill with worry about all of you getting hurt over me."

"So why not just tell us what was going on? I would have told you if it was happening to me."

She stared down at her hands, picking her nails. "I guess I was ashamed. When I worked that case to bring down Doyle...I did things...things that I can't hardly live with now."

Reid sat on the edge of her bed and lifted her chin, cupping it in his hand. "You don't ever have to be scared or ashamed to tell me anything. I care about you too much to ever hate you because of anything."

"I know I have no right to ask you this but I could use to hear it before I go away and who knows when I'll see you again: do you forgive me, Spencer?"

He nodded. For a long moment they stared into each other's eyes before he stood up and said "I don't want to say good bye. I don't know how."

"Then don't say goodbye. I'll be back one day. Till then...you should practice asking out other woman and also get a second opinion on your headaches. Promise me you'll do that for me? It's the only two things I really want now."

"Okay, Emily, but only because I want to give you what you want. I want to find Doyle so you can come home but until I do...I'll give you this for now."

She gave him a very tense smile. "Thanks."

Reaching out he caressed her check, leaned down and kissed her gently, "When you come back home I'll practice asking you out. Say no if you want but I need to ask you anyway. I need to know what you'll say when I ask...to hear it...to understand this better, if nothing else."

With her voice cracking she caressed his face and said "It could be a long time before I can come back though..."

"It took me a long time to realize how close I already was to the woman who I could take on a date and actually enjoy myself so if it takes a long time for that woman to come back to me then I can handle that, as long as she does come back."

Just then JJ came in, followed by several marshals, and said "Its time."

Reid and Prentiss shared a long look before he squeezed her hand and then left her there to prepare to go into witness protection...not knowing if it would be days, weeks, months or years till he could see her again.

Only knowing that his feelings for her were a jumbled mess of wanting, being confused, hurt, sad and slowly going numb at the idea of her being out there without any of the team to protect her. He hadn't expected to feel all this when he asked his good friend Emily to the movie but all that happened between that moment and this one had changed Spencer Reid...changed him maybe for good.

At least it felt like he'd never be the same as before he started to feel more for her. Before he started to think he could love her if only she might let him. Maybe she would...when they meet again.