Chapter 20, everybody! In which revenge is a dish best served cold; references to Mulan, Portal, and Sonic the Hedgehog are made; and Lt. Surge is encountered….Oh yes, and we reference the creepypasta hack game Pokémon Creepy Black as well.

Pokeevee57, thanks for the review! I'm not sure either….

Wings of an Eternal Blaze, thanks for the review! That's actually an interesting mental image….(That's right, there was a musical, wasn't there?...)

Luktopius, thanks for the review! Thank you, glad you like it! :D

Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! Yes and yes, and maybe—but keep in mind, Darkrai wasn't really at a super-secret meeting of Legendaries, so he has no reason to be honest about what "happened" there. Probably. Yes, some of the move sets don't make much sense—using Darkrai's demonstration and logic, Sand Attack should be learned by every single Dark type there is (considering it's treated as underhanded). This is also true….

Thor94, thanks for the review! Thanks—I had a lot of fun writing that. :)

Chermayne, thanks for the review! Thank you, glad you like it! :D

Yami-chan and Unrealistic, thanks for the review! Yes—I think my favorite characters to write for have consistently been Frenzy and Darkrai. Yes….

IceDragonGirl36, thanks for the review! Good question…and yes. I…don't know—I don't think Frenzy speaks, to tell the truth….Well then, I hope this chapter pleases! :D

Thanks for the review, Gust! Nice summary—no lady friends, for the record.

Thanks for the review, Guest! I love him too—so much fun to write for the crazy Paras. :D

ChangelingRin, thanks for the review! No, not really—he's my favorite to write for, alongside Darkrai. :D

GiygasDistruttoreCosmico, thanks for the review! Perfectly normal.

Megaman Zero and Ciel, thanks for the review! Yes indeed….

Ardtornismyname, thanks for the review! Maybe….

Selet, thanks for the review! Mine too. Good thing he listens to Ash….

Vismur, thanks for the review! Hmm….Thank you, glad you like it! And the egg conversations. :D Thank you!

Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo

Portal © 2007 Valve

Mulan © 1998 Disney

Sonic the Hedgehog © SEGA

And now, for something completely different:

In other news, the rolling blackouts afflicting the east side of Kanto have been discovered to be caused by migrating Magnemite. Affected residents are advised to keep the power off as much as possible to cut off their food source and hasten them along their migration. That includes this radio broadcast.

Once everyone could see again, they moved on to the next move—Dig.

"Brock said he'd help with this one as soon as he finished up whatever it was he was doing," Ash said.

"Do you want my help or not?" Darkrai demanded, tapping Ash in the chest with a claw.

"Not really," Pikachu muttered.

"Can we put it to a vote?" Charmander asked timidly.

They could not, which was why two-thirds of them were currently trying to dig holes. Two-thirds because, as Lenny pointed out, he was still a fish and couldn't dig, and they were afraid Frenzy would burrow through the earth and pop out the other side if Ash gave the order. So Lenny was practicing his Splash, seeing as how Ash seemed convinced it could be useful, and Frenzy was acting as a very creepy supervisor. And so far, the only ones who seemed to have any competence with the digging was Patches and Vee—Pikachu kept hitting himself with the dirt, and Charmander kept overbalancing. Vee, meanwhile, was digging very much like a Growlithe would, and Patches had already made himself a tidy little burrow.

"Our species tends to live in burrows," Patches explained when he popped back up. "Digging is sort of essential to everyday life."

"Well mine don't," Pikachu spat. "So no tunneling for me. This stinks."

"You can do it!" Vee cheered, still digging—just a hole; Pikachu had the feeling that when or if Brock came over, it would be to say that Patches was the one who would learn the move. "Just keep digging!"

Patches nodded, ducking back underground while humming some song.

Pikachu blew an irritated sigh, twitched his ears when he heard Ash talking to Darkrai.

"Would you object too terribly to doing me a favor?" Ash asked.

"I'm helping you here—technically you owe me," Darkrai said.

"Yeah, well, this is the sort of thing you'd actually like to do."

"Keep talking."

Pikachu scowled, moved to cross over—

"Hey, you stopped digging," Vee protested.

"I did," Pikachu said. "I'm not built for it, so I'd rather not." And he wanted to hear what Ash and Darkrai were talking about.

"But you've got to try!"

"And what have I been doing, pray tell?"

"You're not really into it," Vee said, ears drooping. "It's like—that big black 'mon suggested it, so you automatically hate it."

"And you're cool with it?" Pikachu had to ask.

"Well, yeah," Vee said, flicking his ears. "It's kind of like the Umbreon and Haxorus from Bill's, all rolled into one—big and strong and scary and smelling like a Dark type. And Ash is fine with it, so why shouldn't we be?"

"Because Ash isn't the best judge of character?"

"Don't be silly," Vee said, beaming in what he probably thought was an encouraging way. "I mean, look at us!"

Pikachu did so. And honestly, the only one he thought was both competent and normal was Patches—Frenzy was terrific in battle, in the scare a 'mon and then tear them to shreds way; meanwhile, Charmander jumped at his own shadow, Vee probably whistled through his ears if he turned sideways in a windstorm, and Lenny was…well, a fish.

In all honesty, it resulted in Vee's rhetoric being very depressing indeed.

"Hey, Ash!"

Pikachu's ears shot up at Brock's voice—glance at Brock, back to Ash—Darkrai was gone, and Ash was waving at Brock.

"Hey!" Ash hailed. "We've been practicing! Want to take a look?"

"Sure," Brock said, coming down the slope and examining the group. "I think Patches would be the best bet, honestly…."

Pikachu bit back a frustrated growl, realizing he had lost his chance.

Whatever Ash had said to Darkrai was now lost to the winds.

Damian was caught in the throes of a nightmare, although he didn't know it yet.

He had an unstoppable Pokémon—he couldn't quite identify it, as it was amorphous and dark, but it was doing its job and doing it well. Nothing could stand before it. Nothing. Even the Pokémon League fell before its mighty Curse attack, which one-hit KO'ed everything.

And for everything it defeated, trainer and Pokémon, a gravestone took their place.

Damian couldn't help but laugh as even the legendary Red fell. "Nothing can stop me now!" he crowed, gesticulating in victory.

Are you so sure?

Damian felt his insides turn cold as his unbeatable Pokémon—dark and unknown and unidentifiable—turned on him. He had nothing to defend himself with, he realized—nothing.

So tough, aren't you? Let's see how you hold up when you're the one in the battle!

Darkrai watched as the boy thrashed in his sleep. Scratch one off the list. Next, visit the "AJ" kid, and then that so-called "school of trainers."

Granted, he wouldn't normally do this—well, yes, he would do this, but not on request. But the kid didn't request this sort of thing too often, so it was the sort of thing to savor.

"He's all grown up and making lists," Darkrai said, feigning sappy joy. Honestly, this was the sort of behavior he could understand, instead of that silly let's all play nice drivel.

As he flew off, he reflected that that probably was a bad thing. But who cared! He had that fixed with that egg. Now he could sleep happy.

And maybe give that Clefable a Razzberry the next time he saw him.

"All right! Vermilion City! First stop: Pokémon Center, and then on to the gym!"

"I think he sneaks sugar when we're not looking," Misty said.

"I've been marking the ingredients," Brock declared. "I think you're right."

"Hey, I've got natural exuberance," Ash argued. "It's like….Hey, what are you doing?"

"ADD?" Misty asked.

"I'm going with ADHD," Brock said, watching as Ash peppered a guy standing in a field supervising his Machop with questions. "One of my little brothers has it, and he only has two speeds: wide open and asleep."

"I'll go with that too then. We could call it ASH."

"But what would it stand for?"

"I'll think of something."

When they arrived at the Pokémon Center, it was to find it absolutely packed.

"What's with the packed room?" Ash asked the nurse. "Are they getting ready for the S.S. Anne?"

"No, unfortunately," the nurse said. "These people all challenged Lt. Surge."

Ouch. "Uh, did anyone win?"

"Not in this decade."

Double ouch. "Full restore, please."

"Coming from the gym?"

"Heading there."

"Next of kin?"

"That bad?"

"That bad."

"Delia Ketchum in Pallet Town," Ash declared, deciding to humor her.

"From what I've heard so far, Lt. Surge favors physical assaults," Brock said, indicating the room. "But if you try a long-range battle, he switches over to Thunder and Thunder Shock."

"Is there any way to have, like, a middle-ground assault?" Ash asked.

"Not really."

"What about Patches' Poison Point or Frenzy's spores?"

"That doesn't seem to work either."

"There's got to be some way to beat this guy!"

"You could try catching a Diglett or Geodude in Diglett Cave, but I hear he has strategies for them, too."

"I'm starting to think I should have gone with Sabrina first."

"Ketchum!" the nurse called. "Your Pokémon are ready!"

Ash ran up to reclaim them. "Well, ready to take on Lt. Surge?" he asked Pikachu.

"Chu!" Pikachu declared, cheeks sparking.

"May whatever Higher Power you believe in be with you," the nurse said.

"Huh?" Ash asked, confused.

"A ruling came from the League that all last rites now have to be non-denominational. It's annoying, to be honest."

"Oh…kay," Ash noised, taking his Pokémon and running. The sooner he got this over with, the better. "We're off to beat Lt. Surge!"

The laughter that followed was insulting at best.

The Vermilion Gym was big and intimidating, like its owner.

Ash, however, had spent a good chunk of his life around a Pokémon that was truly intimidating—a measly human wasn't about to top Darkrai.

So, when he entered the gym and boldly announced his challenge, he didn't feel slapped down when Lt. Surge started laughing so hard his knees buckled.

The big Unovan easily outstripped Brock—it would have taken both Brock and Ash to match him in both size and weight. He was clad in camouflage—probably a holdover from his army days, as he wasn't exactly blending in with anything here.

"Are you done?" Ash asked, when Lt. Surge finally wound down and started breathing normally again. He had laughed so long that Misty and Brock had managed to find decent seats and make themselves comfortable.

"Aaah, yeah," Lt. Surge said, wiping his eyes. "I don't care how many times it happens in a day, it is absolutely hilarious when one of you kids comes in like that—like it's supposed to intimidate anyone. Pff! You watch too many cartoons, kid!"

Okay, Ash was seriously going to have to check and see if there wasn't some sort of hidden Darkrai community shamming as humans—that had sounded too much like Darkrai just then.

"So," Lt. Surge said, nodding to his referee, who moved over to the designated box. "I hope you weren't thinking that you'd skip to an 'easy' gym—Sabrina might command Psychics, but when it comes to a no-holds beatdown, I'm the guy to come to."

"I'd heard that rumor," Ash said. "And I saw your work."

"And you came anyway," Lt. Surge observed. "You're either really brave, or really stupid."

"I'd rather be the first, but everyone I've talked to so far thinks the latter."

"And he's honest too. Ready to meet your Maker, kid?"

Ash twisted his cap around. "Ready."

"This will be a three on three Pokémon gym battle!" the referee announced. "Only the challenger is allowed to make substitutions…."

The referee became white noise—Ash was focused now. He and Darkrai had come up with a good strategy, which he had run by an obliging Brock. They were ready. Ish.

"Go, Magnemite!" Lt. Surge called, summoning a floating steel ball with magnets on either side and a big eye in the middle. Ash had to resist instantly shouting out "Wheatley!"

Instead, he shouted "Charmander, I choose you!"

Charmander appeared in a flash of light, trembling slightly, but ready for battle.

There had been a lot of back and forth as far as letting Charmander battle, but with the potential to have a steel-electric type against them, Charmander and his fire attacks would be useful. In the end, Ash had told him that he would only put him in the battle if he thought he was ready and if his fire was needed.

He was ready, and he was needed.

"Smokescreen, Charmander!" Ash called.

"Magnemite, Supersonic!" Lt. Surge ordered.

"Cover your ears!"

Charmander did so. He looked dazed by the end of the attack, but not fully confused—at least there was that.

"Ember, Charmander!"

"Don't think type advantage is going to save you, kid," Lt. Surge sneered. "Magnemite! Sonic Boom!"

Ash tried very hard not to think of blue Shaymin as the attack zipped towards Charmander. "Dodge it!"

"Don't think so!"

Indeed, it clipped Charmander on the side. Ash heard frantic pinging from his Pokédex—he checked it speedily to see that Charmander's HP had dipped quite a bit.

"Charmander, return!" Ash called. Charmander ran to his side as he threw out another Pokéball. "Go, Patches!"

"'Patches'?" Lt. Surge echoed, as the Nidoran appeared on the field.

"Okay, Patches! Use Dig!" Ash called.

"Aw, kid, I thought you were smarter than that," Lt. Surge sighed. "Magnemite! Use Magnet Rise!"

Magnemite did so, electrifying the field and floating away from the ground.

"Hey!" Ash called. "I looked it up before I came here—Magnemite shouldn't be able to use that move at its current level!"

"Kid, I've got so many retired Pokémon it's not even funny," Lt. Surge said, hooking a thumb behind him. "Those guys teach these guys a thing or two, like this move. You wanna complain about it, or are you going to rethink your strategy?"

Rethinking a strategy would be a good idea.

Especially when it fell right into the lap of Darkrai's plan B.

"Patches!" Ash called, prompting him to pop up right beneath the Magnemite. "Return! Charmander, back out there!"

"You're killing me, kid."

Ash had to fight to keep from visualizing a big black irate Pokémon opposite of him. "Charmander, use Ember in that hole!"

Charmander obliged.

Lt. Surge looked like he was trying very hard not to laugh again. "Magnemite, dodge it."

Magnemite simply drifted sideways.

"Up the power, Charmander!"

"Kid, your trick's not working."

"Did you seriously think Patches dug a straight tunnel?"

Lt. Surge had just enough time to register alarm when the field suddenly erupted in fire.