On My Own Too Long

Reid and Prentiss

Chapter Eight

September 2011

Spencer Reid wheeled Emily Prentiss down to the neo natal unit at the hospital in Iowa so they could hold their babies for the first time. In the hours since the twins birth Emily had spent most of the time sleeping, while Reid spent it researching premies on the internet, and Derek fretted over Reid until Derek finally passed out asleep in a waiting room.

Hotch and Rossi had left to have dinner and JJ had went to book hotel rooms for all of them.

Once they made it to the neo natal unit Spencer and Emily had to both wash their hands and put on gowns before they could go near the twins. As soon as Emily saw her babies laying in incubators with IVs in them she started to cry. They were so skinny that their skin was stretched tight over their little bodies.

The nurse placed the boy baby in Emily's arms and the girl baby in Reid's arms. The proud parents marveled at how beautiful their children were and asked questions about the baby's health.

Emily said to Reid "They really do need names."

"In some ancient cultures it was common to not name a child for weeks or even months after birth."

Looking at her son, Emily said "Daddy wants to call you baby boy for a few weeks. What do you think about that?"

Reid smiled at hearing himself be referred to as Daddy. "I didn't say I want to call him baby boy. That will only remind me of Morgan and calling our daughter baby girl will remind me of Garcia. As much as I care about them both our children deserve their own identities. So, you're right, they do need names right away."

"Daddy says I'm right. I love it when he uses his big brain for good."

Their daughter yawned and then her eyes fluttered open for a second before closing again. Reid mentioned that they needed to take pictures to capture this moment so he set his daughter back in the incubator and left the neo natal to go get his camera phone. Within the next half hour they got pictures of each of them holding each of the babies with shocked, tired, loving looks on their face- at the beginning of a long, unprepared for journey as parents together.

XXXXXXXXXX

Back in Emily's hospital room, Reid sat next to her bed. "I hate that you had to go through finding out you were pregnant alone. Did it come as a shock since you were on birth control?"

"Reid..."

"What?" he asked, a blank expression on his face.

"That night we were together, I know I told you not to worry about it but," she ran her fingers through her hair "that wasn't because I was on any sort of birth control. I hadn't been with anyone in months and didn't plan to be with anyone any time soon so I wasn't using anything."

"But you said-"

"Look, I'm forty and I didn't hate the idea of making a baby with you so I wasn't worried about it. I didn't actually think we'd get pregnant that night and I sure didn't think we'd have twins. It was wrong to mislead you that way though. I could say I was caught up in the moment, and I was, but mainly I just...its hard to explain. When you want a child so bad and you're finally with someone you'd actually like to have a kid with...it seemed wrong to get in nature's way. I know that sounds really bad. I have no good excuse for my behavior. I suck. I know it. I suck for lying like that to you."

"I don't know what to say. You should have been honest with me. I should have had a choice. Just because you were ready to be a mother doesn't mean I was ready to be a father. We need to trust each other and I can't trust you if you lie to me, keep secrets and manipulate situations."

"I don't blame you a bit for feeling that way."

"Good cause you shouldn't. It's the truth. You...we've...got to work on honesty because our twins need us to get along and trust each other so they can see a good example of a functioning family."

"More than anything I want our kids to be healthy and happy. After all I've done I know it may be too late for us to have more than a friendship but we do have more anyway...we have our own little family now."

"The feeling of shock still hasn't worn off me. When I woke up today I didn't think I'd become a father. I wasn't sure I'd ever be a father actually."

"I had just about given up on the idea I'd ever be a mother."

He took her hand in his. "We're parents, Emily, together and the most important thing from now on will never be us again. It will always be them."

"It scares me to see them hooked up to IVs like that."

"It doesn't mean they're not doing well. They just have special needs because they were born premature."

"I guess they will have to stay here for a while so I won't be moving out of my rental house anytime soon. You should see it, its way out in the country and I wake up to the sound of cows and chickens at the neighbor's house. We couldn't even get cable tv out there so Serena and I lived like you do- reading a lot, playing chess and cards." After a moment Prentiss added "I want to visit her once I'm released from here." Prentiss was at a different hospital than Marshall Serena Watkins because of where Doyle had hidden Prentiss was in a neighboring county from where Serena was shot.

Emily added "JJ told me that she called to check on Serena and the doctors said she was in stable condition. Lucky she had her vest on and that Doyle just wanted to get out of there quick so once she was injured he didn't stick around for the kill shot. She's been so kind to me...For months she was the only one around to talk to about everything."

"I'm glad you had someone. It had to be hard on you."

"I know it was hard on everyone for me to be in Witness Protection and knowing Doyle was out there somewhere. I hope you took care of yourself. Did you ever find out what was causing those headaches?"

"They are migraines induced by stress. Basically our job is trying to kill me slowly."

Her face fell. "So maybe you need a new job then."

"Leave the team? They're my family. What else would I do?"

"Teach. You'd make a great teacher, Reid, on any subject."

"The students would fall asleep during my boring lectures. Besides I'm not good at public speaking."

"Maybe you could write books like Rossi does then?"

"I don't know, Emily. I've been thinking about this for months now. I have thought of leaving the BAU but then I just don't...this is all I know."

"Your health comes first, though. Our kids need a healthy father."

"I know. I'll figure it out. I'm using herbal treatments for my symptoms."

"Does it help?"

"A little. Not always."

"Maybe you just need a long vacation. It looks like you're going to get one if you decide to stay here with me and the twins till they can fly home."

"Of course I'm staying. I wouldn't leave you or our kids. Do you really think I would?"

"I guess I just need to hear things said aloud sometimes."

He squeezed her hand. "I'm going to be right by your side, Emily. Is that aloud enough for you?" He gave her a tender smile.

She nodded and smiled back at him. They were thrust into parenthood together, neither knowing how to do all they needed to do but knowing that it would be easier with the other there to help than it ever would be if they had to tackle this alone.