42: Soothes the Savage Breast

Jake stood quietly, watching; for all intents and purposes it was all he could do. Norm, Max, and a buzz of other scientists were hard at work with their craft. Skin samples, microscopes, scans, read outs, cultures, experiments… menial work Jake couldn't touch even in the slightest. His hands became suddenly clumsy, his knees and elbows jutted out abnormally in the room, even the Na'vi who were loosely trained as lab assistants or the avatars who were true scientists moved with an uncanny grace. Even medical teams were no longer harassing him because they already had plenty of samples and cultures with which to test their various serums and such. They were already understaffed from the exodus, including those still trying to help the wounded outside, there were a pitiful few left in the lab yet Jake somehow managed to get in everyone's way. After the first three spills, Jake was 'gently' pushed into a seated position in the corner. There he sat, watching, and cursing himself for his uselessness every moment. The last straw came when a Na'vi tried to reach over him to a shelf behind and he'd tried to stand to get out of her way, somehow ramming his shoulder into her chin in the process.

With a flurry of apologies, Jake excused himself from the room and out into the garden. The ever present wounded on loose mats greeted him, but he knew he was no help to them either and frankly he couldn't stand the noise. So Jake found himself moving away from them, walking methodically to clear his head. His steps wandered, as did his thoughts. Why am I so useless suddenly? True, I'm no scientist. Never was very good at field medicine. I can't help Norm or Max do their thing. A distant memory of Grace asking about his lab experience curled an edge of his mouth. Thoughts of the past soon followed and he realized he'd been bunching his shoulders, neck, and forearms. Tension. In his effort to help and need to be useful, he'd pushed and pushed himself until in the trying he went too far. Jake rolled his neck and this time, willfully tried to clear his mind of all his troubles. The soldier training kicked in. Before battle, after battle; there's no point in worrying about the future. That's what I am. A fighter. That's all I've ever been. Cripple a man and you've not got less of a man, but cripple a fighter… Jake found his thoughts involuntarily returning to the memories and harsh emotions bonding with the tree of voices showed him.

Mechanically Jake distracted himself from these by focusing on his surroundings. He'd wandered far now, past the compound still remaining into the wreckage. Like burnt out doll houses missing their roofs- shoe boxes on their sides for a child's diorama, the remainder of destruction was empty and foreboding. No one had time to properly shift much of the damage, so it all simply lay in great heaps scattered, and abandoned. Jake took in the sight, smell, and feel of it. Burnt metal clashing with the greenery, ashes on the wind… unconsciously Jake's mind picked up some trail. Probably the leavings of a Nekxtskxe patrol or someone trying to salvage something. It was faint though, very faint, but the more Jake focused on it- the further his thoughts drifted from the worry. So Jake found himself crouching, practicing, thinking only of the moment and the story the signs presented him. Oddly the trail lead further into the rubble and Jake found it become more and more of a chore to follow, but curiously, the deeper he went… the stranger the trail became. It must have been someone searching for survivors, how long ago had that been? Jake paused as he pushed aside a large piece of cloth. It seemed like eons since the Old Order had attacked and destroyed the majority of Hell's Gate.

Jake found himself sitting idly, just absorbing everything around him. It would not take long to rebuild the compound. It was mainly military in structure, quick to put up and quick to take down. There was a permanence factor of course, built to last as much in the military was, but this time they would remake it to suit humans and Na'vi. Jake found himself relaxing. Maybe thinking of a brighter future was better than worrying about it after a- "Oh!" Jake had not realized the feminine shape rising out of the black twisting metal right in front of his eyes until she turned and saw him and gasped in a high voice.

Jake smiled to himself, "Sorry did I scare you?" yet as the words left his mouth his eyes read her. She was an Avatar, tall and lean, beautiful in a familiar way. Large luminous eyes, a slim body suit and a tranquilizer gun pointed directly at Jake's che- thap.

Instantaneous.

Jake's shaky legs lifted him even as they became numb pillars, his hands became pillows. His eyes barely registered the dart sticking out of his pec. He looked up, trying to ask why and haunting eyes met his own. As he fell forward, as his mouth dropped open, as the ring of darkness came swooping in- she caught him, and gently bore him down.

…

Jake's eyes did not flutter open, did not gently lift with the morning dawn, they slid open like metal hatches. He felt like he was coming out of cryosleep underwater. A numb buzz in the very back of his head reminded him of nothing, but memories hovered across his eyes without register or comprehension- until he saw the image of a dart. With a click like a lock in chain, Jake's recalled and turned his head. Glass, tubes, blocky machines like something out of star trek- monitors- he was in some sort of lab; it looked a lot like the avatar sleep chamber, mixed with a hydraulic compress. Jake couldn't make sense of it, but what he did understand was the very official, very business end of the gun pointed idly at him from the ceiling. RDA standard issue, mounted with what looked like some kind of camera. Jake figured it was some kind of motion detector. While it was true his captor could have killed him if she wanted him dead, he wasn't going to take stupid chances; more to that point, who the heck was his captor? Images of a strong and elegant Avatar pulling herself out of the wreckage, a work soiled skin tight suit and a face he'd never seen. Who was she?

"Don't get ahead of me." a voice floated over his head. Jake's ears flicked toward her. She came to his side holding a pad like Max and wearing surgical gloves. Crap. "Well, vital signs are stable… the reaction isn't as fast as I would like but it seems to be taking effect."

"Who are you." Jake said firmly.

"I'll admit, there was some trouble at first, with the coding, but it all worked itself out nicely with that embryonic infusion. Wish I'd thought of it." She reached over to a tube sticking out of Jake's right wrist, carefully removing it.

"Who are you." Jake insisted in the same level tone.

"Honestly I never expected a reaction like that, but to tell the truth he was always doing something unexpected, unpredictable, and if you ask me, random out of spite."

"Who are you." Jake repeated.

The avatar girl frowned as if disappointed in him, "Come on Jake, like you don't know…" She then stood before him, giving him a good look; tall, muscular, fit, intelligent eyes, sharp features, and confident way of carrying herself…

"It's Jen."

Jake world rocked like the floating mountains. The shock must have been evident on his face, and the disbelief. "Oh stop it Jake. You knew I was with the resistance, you knew I was one of their agents here, you knew I was in charge of handling the anti virus for Paul- of course that means I would have extensive knowledge in genetic work. Did you think they only trained me to give him shots?" Jake didn't answer, her eyes lit up. "Oh wait, you don't know do you? You really don't?" Jake managed to shake his head.

"But by now you must have all figured out there was about a solid ten year gap in our stories and the viral half life. Where do you think those years went?" Jake's mind was flooded with questions and confusion. "I used them to further my research Jake. In the virus, how it worked, and what it did; I used Paul as a guinea pig for those years, testing, modifying, altering; the virus was initially meant to destroy all human life on Pandora then die out. And for what? So the resistance could move in instead? The petty cloak and dagger underground? No, they'd only do what every human faction on earth would do once on Pandora. Plunder her." Her eyes burned. "Take whatever they could use, be it minerals, ore, or miracle cures. All of it would be harvested, used, and used up. No Jake, there needs to be a more permanent solution to the human life on Pandora."

Jake numbly moved his lips, "How, did you survive?"

She sighed, as if disappointed again. "The chemical must still be affecting you Jake, I thought you were smarter than this. Naturally during those years I worked on something for myself; an Avatar, in secret. It was easy to create, but monitoring its condition and preventing any mistakes with it was a real hassle, especially on top of my normal duties here. Now, you're probably wondering how I got here instead of, poof, off to Eywa. Well, that miracle has been standing beside you all this time."

Jake felt a small pang of clarity, "Yawne?"

She smiled, "Good! Exactly! You see his was the first documented case of complete detachment into the machine. The nexus of the transfer, like being stuck in a doorway. I took that research and coupled with Dr. Augustine's research into the Na'vi network, I pieced together how Eywa is able to transfer neural energy effortlessly. It really is just like downloading and uploading! After all," She became slightly whimsical, "How different is the electrical coding that passes neurons from that of circuits? Replication of memory Jake! Do you understand? Perfect collected memory at my finger tips! Of course, copying your entire life story was an even bigger pain than raising my Avatar, but every single day I copied more and more- which is probably why you didn't see me round the base even when you were here- it became a routine, a daily loge; Of course…" her features became flat, "I didn't expect you to discover the capsule or the Old Order to start mucking things up so soon. Destroying my human body jump started the machines, activated my avatar. I was completely unaware of the recent events, imagine my shock and surprise, waking up here in my hidden lab. Well, it took a while to get situated and my schedule had to jump ahead a bit, which created a few snares I had to take care of personally… of course… then you show up out of nowhere."

She gripped her fist, "Really Jake, I've been dodging Nekxtskxe patrols for days, and soon it became simple and then there you are, waiting for me. I guess I became complacent- what did the Nekxtskxe care about the comings and goings of a single Avatar? So here we are, drastic measures and everything with it."

Jake pushed the question from his belly, "Then why am I alive?" She sat beside him on the medical bed. Looking at him expectantly like a mother scolding a child who knew what they did wrong and was playing innocent. Jake narrowed his eyes. "…I'm one of your guinea pigs."

"Very good Jake." She smiled. "I'm an Avatar, you're an Avatar. Hybrids. Imperfect. You see, I was trying to make my Avatar a pure Na'vi, that way my human body could be blown away in the dust and I could be reborn, like the phoenix! Of course, I couldn't test the process on my own Avatar…"

Jake frowned. "You're trying to make me a full Na'vi." She nodded. "And if you succeed? What happens to me then?"

She looked thoughtful, "Well… you re still human, in your mind…" Jake felt his heart enter his throat. "…but, you did rid us of the RDA. You risked your life, and you're helping me with my own rebirth… I don't really want to kill you Jake."

Jake swallowed. "But you will if you have too."

She didn't answer.

"And Paul? What's going to happen to him?"

Jen took a deep breath, looking away. "One he cleanses Pandora of all human life? What happens to him then? The poor misguided, abused fool… he is the strongest thing on this planet. Strong enough even to destroy any threat from space or otherwise… immortal you know. Well, not really, long lived is the more accurate term…"

"But what kind of life is that." Jake injected for her. He could see the faint struggle across he golden eyes. She remained silent, face expressionless, emotionless. Jake gambled. "You're still trying to figure out a way to cure him, really cure him, because you do love him."

Jen stood up, "Silly isn't it? The proverbial Adam to my eve, with the garden of Pandora our new Eden, we could live here happily, and he could use me as he wants all he wants… after I've used him so much." She turned away, hiding her face. "It's the least I can do for him."

Jake worked the tension from his jaw. So there was hope. Slowly he formulated a plan, his only action. But, to distract her from thinking on it, he quickly posed another question. "Since you're being so agreeable, could you tell me how P'all is able to bond with Eywa?" Jen turned, blank. "Everyone who bonds with Eywa hears only their worse memories and regrets."

She shrugged, "Oh that's me. It's a mechanism much like the one the RDA tried to use to control the tree of souls. Fools nearly killed Eywa, but my modifications worked perfectly. It only reflects. It's really fascinating science honestly, but I won't bore you."

Jake smiled his trench grin, "I'm not going anywhere anytime soon."

Jen didn't smile back, "No Jake, no you aren't."

…

Neytiri pushed away the neural whips again. Tired of hearing the dieing screams of her sister, the blaming voice. She had grown numb to the memories taunting, but they still wore upon her. Mo'at watched carefully from beside her. The grove was silent, guards hanging and keeping watch; Neytiri sighed, sitting quietly and looking up at the sky. "Something blocks Eywa from us, silences her. We have never known this until now."

Mo'at didn't react, "There are many new things upon us since the sky people came. They are people from a new world, they bring many new problems."

Neytiri pressed her eyes into her palms, her braided hair drifted forward, hanging low as she sniffed. Tears spent, she was exhausted, and appeared it. Mo'at however remained composed and calm. She looked to her daughter impassively, still crossing her legs, and poised. Neytiri finally sighed, "I should go back to the base."

"You should be still." Mo'at answered.

"I can not, my heart and mind are too loud."

Mo'at nodded, "That is why you can not listen."

"Listen for what, mother?" Neytiri turned to her. "I hear only sorrows and anger, Eywa can not speak to me through all the noise."

Mo'at bowed her head, "Eywa dose not speak to us only through the tree of voices." Neytiri rested her hands on her knees, and copied her mother's poise. She stared at the closed eyes and calm face of her mother, and took a deep breath. She ignored the neural whips, ignored the worries, and the pounding of her chest. She breathed, listened… and watched. The jungle waved in a gentle breeze, the smell of flowers and pollen too numerous to be categorized, drifted by and through her. Her breath touched the world, as Eywa's breath touched her- all around her, pressing upon her constantly. She felt the soft dirt and grasses beneath her legs; her tail brushed through it like soft cloth. She rolled her head back, looking to the clear sky, looking to the open canopy. The world around her continued. There was no urgency, no rush, no troubles. It just was. Eywa was not endangered, Eywa was not concerned. No storm brewed, no ground shook- the distant trumpet of animals far and wide, the buzz of insects, the far hoot of a passing group through the trees- she heard the world, and she saw Eywa right before her.

Neytiri filled herself with her presence, breathing, allowing her in. She opened herself to the world she loved and wished with all her heart to protect… and she heard a song. Neytiri did not start, she did not gasp, she did not react beyond being still… and listening to it. She let her ears rest, she let her mind focus… the song was faint, too faint, far to faint to hear- but she heard it all the same. It was not her ancestors. Something else, something… smaller. So petty, in the largeness of the silence and life around her. A tiny dot in an ocean of stars, yet she had always known how to listen. She had been taught to listen, and to see. Now, she turned herself toward that sound, and she opened herself to it. Slowly she lifted her braid to the neural whips. The sorrows, the grief, the pain, it was all a constant background- like someone rubbing leaves over her ears- but it was easy now to ignore. It was nothing more than the babble of a brook, the whisper of the wind through many leaves, she did not listen to it and heard the voice.

"Why…" it was singing softly... "Why… can't I die…" drawing out the words… "Why…" simple words over and over in a tired tone… "Why… can't I die…"

"Maybe you are not suppose to."

The voice silenced.

Neytiri, felt, something turn towards her. Something massive, something dangerous, something she had never felt before nor noticed but now couldn't believe she missed. It was as if a mountain had decided to move and look to her. She knew who the voice belonged to, but even worse, she knew now what it meant to feel as she did. Neytiri tried to make sure none of what she felt showed, she tried to swallow it in that calm, but now that the voice knew it could be heard, she felt- a grasping claw, reaching for her, her attention, for any kind of contact in a lonely universe- now that it had her it would not let her go. She tried to gently withdraw from the, terrible grasp, like a pressure on her whole mind but just as suddenly the voce turned violent- a garbled, horrid mash of metal like a broken kunsp- she knew she could not flee from it, even if she wanted too, so she seized it as a chance. But as she tried to push from her, a flow of calming, soothing peace, the pressure checked and pulled itself up. As if correcting its stride for a better hold- and suddenly the voice came again, strong, strong enough to overwhelm even the background noise but it was strange, singing still, but in a way she had rarely heard the sky people tongue sung. If Yawne had not sang so often… she had heard this before as, 'Op'ra'.

"Who are you, to tell me, no-thing, matters, meanings, failings, shatters," pounding on each syllable as if forcing himself into coherence. Just as that he stopped, giving her chance to answer, willing her to speak again almost as if he was sure he'd heard her.

"Hush, hush…" she tried, if he acted like Yawne, perhaps an approached like that of him at some of his worst times would wor-

"WHO ARE YOU TO CALM AND COO ME, SI-LENCE, FILL-ING,

SORROWS KILL ME, YOU ARE NOTHING, BUT A MEM-REY,

LOST IN PAST, RAGE, AND FEELING." Again the pause, as if he wasn't exactly sure what he was saying, but that it came out none the less. Each stop, each word, dragged from him and shot like a bow for her. She felt impacted like someone throwing water on her; like standing in the midst of a flooding rapid. Apparently he didn't want to be silenced, or he may loose himself. Perhaps this was all he could do to remain in control? If so, she could not deal with this, she did not have the experience nor the means. However, before she could come up with a plan she felt her own silence had gone on too long, the presence again began to move toward her, faster, as desperate- this time she did gasp, this time she felt like running.

"Calm, calm, young one- there is mist, and dew,

we must see them and do as they do. Collect, collect. Softly, softly." It was Mo'at, singing a lullaby of their people, in Na'vi, gently picking up where her daughter fell flat. Neytiri hadn't even felt her bond and listen, so she was equally surprised when the song drifted over her as she felt he was when he stopped into a slow walk.

"Calm, calm, young one- there is wind, and rain,

we must see them and do as they do. Wash away, fears and pain.

Softly softly." Amazingly the song worked or rather, singing back, worked. Neytiri didn't even know if he understood, but as long as there was some contact, the tone was what mattered most. However, Mo'at did not know enough of the sky people language to respond with any kind of communication and his own breaking of the syllables, elongating them, made him hard to understand. Mo'at continued the song, letting it drift, giving her daughter time to think. They had a link, but they could not use it. They would need someone who could. Yawne… no, he was injured, perhaps beyond recovery- Jake may know enough to help them. Jake. Yes, she had to find Jake. If he could respond he may be able to talk with P'all, and stop this horrid noise that tried to drown her ancestors. Neytiri opened her eyes, Mo'at's were closed, she sang still. Neytiri broke the link, feeling the focus shift to Mo'at while she had remained silent. But. She had also felt claws rake her back, as if in the sudden loss of her presence, he'd tried to catch her before she left. She could not leave Mo'at to him alone for long, she had to hurry, she had to find Jake.