44: Needs of the many and few.
Doom. Standing like a monument, casting a shadow over the whole of Hell's Gate. Just outside the fences, which only came up to his knee. He swayed there, the light of the fading afternoon just over his shoulder, silhouetted. The sky was clear, as if his presence had killed the clouds. Yet there was no uproar, not now; the Nekxtskxe did not scramble back, running, in fear- or even standing resolutely, instead they stared. Like children, they look upward, craning their necks at the biggest thing they had ever seen… because he was bigger. Jake, Neytiri, Yawne, Peyral, all of them, the whole team was outside looking upwards. Norm, Max, lab techs, medical teams, bystanders to the great political wars and changes all around them- looked on in absolute awe. He stood over all of them, but silhouetted as he was that dark shape burned. The stars, the eyes, seemed… expanded, like cracks in the rocks of forming lava flow. The air was thick with the smell of sulfur, but there was a sick twinge to it, a mildew. The sight was indescribable, but still he only stood… and swayed. "Mother of god…" Jake whispered.
Jen stood more rigid then all of them, looking upwards with gritted teeth and tears on the edges of her eyes. Neytiri noticed this, and it was she who nudged Jake. Jake turned to her, trying to read her, trying to figure it out. "Jen… what's happening to him?" Jen looked at Jake like he had pried away her last secret, and ducked her head as if fearful he could read it in her eyes. "Jen." Jake prompted, gently but firmly.
"Amnesty." She said shortly.
"What?" Neytiri balked. Jake deadpanned.
"That's my price. For helping you." Jen kept her eyes on her feet.
Jake remained silent, her took a step forward and made Jen face him. "What, is happening to Paul."
Jen bit back her tears and dug her chin into her shoulder, "The virus… is completing it's cycle."
"What does that mean."
Jen didn't answer, Max- in mask- offered, "I think she means the virus is running the full course, shutting itself down."
Norm blinked, "Does that mean he's getting better?"
Jen closed her eyes, Jake watched only her. "No, if you look at him you can tell he has increased in size- and our surveillance has already picked up the path of carnage behind him. It seems he began melting anything in his way again a short while ago and headed straight here. There's a strip of just, black muck as far as the eye can see behind him, all material he's used on his body."
Jake let Max finish, not understanding completely, but still leveling the same question on Jen. "What does it mean."
Jen looked up, "Amnesty! Promise me first!" Jen was desperate.
"Tell me what it means."
Jen crumpled, "The virus is reaching critical mass, and it entering the dooms day protocol. The final stage, self termination, and annihilation of all human life on Pandora…"
Jake felt it before she ever said it, "But…"
Jen shivered, "But the new, enhancements with the outside DNA strain have, complicated it, it's too large now… the scale won't just… it's confused… it can't…" Jake remained as stone, Neytiri, Max, Norm, all eyes turned to her as she gripped her fists up to her sides. "…it won't stop with Human life; yotal, meltdown."
Jake's eyes widened, "You mean… Pandora?" Jen sobbed. Jake let go, "That's why you had to test the cure, that's why you were desperate enough to take the risk and make a mistake…"
"It became too unstable," Jen continued, "the new samples, I only got the results when you came upon me… I didn't have the… I didn't think…"
Jake bowed his head, "Guess we don't have to worry about being infected anymore." Jake sighed and turned back to the colossus, "Can you cure him? Will it work?"
Jen sagged, "I don't know…"
Jake shook his head, "Of course."
Neytiri set her jaw, "Why is he here? Did you call him with your mah'sheens?"
Jen shook her head slightly, "I don't know, I've always had a signal trace, but the sheer, energy emanating from him has always overwhelmed my equipment. Anything in contact with his skin is melted down, but it goes beyond skin now, somehow, the air itself is permeated with biological receptors- the wildfire virus- which allows him to bond with all infected by it, a living breathing link."
"Just like Eywa…" Neytiri marveled, but was also, angered. "How could you have done this?" she scowled, her hand gripped Jen's arm painfully. "You sky people have made the dream walker bodies, but it was not enough, you had to make this, tortured twin of Eywa!"
Jake took her arm, "Calm down Neytiri."
"No, Jake! It is wrong! Evil!" she spat, casting Jen away from her like a filthy object, "This thing is… an abomination!"
"It's like the devil or something…" Norm said absently.
"It's still a person." Jake's tail lifted to one side, his ears laid flat. "Jen, give him the cure."
"Wait, cure? There's a cure?" Max turned in astonishment.
"It might not be effective, the virus has adapted to so much, it may not be enough…" Jen apologized.
Jake shook his head, "Doesn't matter, it's all we got."
Max stepped between them, "If you have the formula we can take a look too, if it doesn't work, we might have an alternative. See we've been doing gene sequencing for a while, and we've found some promising leads, maybe things you haven't thought of."
Jen looked haggard, "I've thought of everything… tried everything, and done so for ten years."
"Alone?" Max added, looking around him, "We may have had only a short time, but we have a whole team."
Jen didn't look too assured, but Jake nodded curtly, "Do what you can. Meanwhile, we'll try to find out why he's here of all places." Max nodded as he gestured for Jen to follow. Yawne waved his hand and two Nekxtskze guards fell in line with them.
"He couldn't be here to finish it." Yawne speculated, "He hasn't crossed the fence yet… or shown any sign of aggression."
Neytiri, who still lashed her own tail leveled her fists to her hips, "I may know, or at least learn. Mo'at and I made contact, beyond the touch of Eywa…"
Jake nodded, "Did something happen to her?"
Neytiri's tail drooped, the thought suddenly occurring to her, "I don't know…"
Jake shared her trepidation, "One more thing we need to find out; can you make contact again?" Neytiri sighed, but her determined expression showed it all. Jake looked up to the towering figure once more, like some kind of ageless torch. "Yawne, if you can, come with me- we have to destroy the bond control machine, maybe then Eywa can finally weigh in on this…" Yawne nodded, turning to renter the building, Jake paused before following and turned to Neytiri. Neytiri stared up at the height of the looming shadow, the unfathomable depths of that burning darkness. Doom. Jake reached out and took her hand, she looked up to him. They shared a squeeze. Between them, in the shadow of the threat, their lights glowed. Stars in the darkness, as if they were the only two in the universe. They spoke nothing, but let their hands slip, and drift away. Duty to be done.
…
Neytiri watched her most important person in the world jog back into the sky people ruins. When Norm and Max had woken her, she had flailed and pushed to get back after her, she had wanted only to save Jake. Peyral came and ripped her from the stupor of the gas, from the medical teams hands, and dragged her to the Nekxtskxe party who encircled a stranger. But it had been Yawne. Whole and complete. They had known where Jen went, but awaited Yawne's word to follow. So, Yawne took Neytiri with him and all the while- despite the miracle of his third rebirth, that heavy breathing had never left her. That dread hum. It had been there when she followed after the rescue party, it had been there when she through her arms around Jake and it had been there when they came running out into his shadow… now… it wasn't there anymore, it was here. Doom. That is what the breath below everything said. Doom. Neytiri clutched her hands to her midsection, what had happened to Mo'at? Neytiri shook her heard, she was getting herself lost again. Instead, she sat down and crossed her legs.
Closing her eyes, even in that looming shadow, she breathed slowly. Throwing from her thoughts the fact she was breathing deep the sickness which would allow her to speak to him, bond with him, without a tree of voices. That is why there was the feeling of constant presence, like someone directly behind her… or standing with his skin against her own. Neytiri pushed these away, breathed, cleared all from her like an empty cup… and let the hand reach in. "Who is there?" she thought to herself.
"Armageddon."
…
Jake pushed through the burnt husks of metal, Yawne hot on his heels. They made their way back into the facility without hesitation, dropping down the hatch and moving through the corridors- Jake lead by memory, finding the room with the machine easily. It was still pressed against the wall, still with a few drops of blood from where Jen had been rammed by it. Jake didn't pause to consider if she had internal bleeding or if she just split her lip, Peyral was already there with two Nekxtskxe and a few lab techs pouring over paperwork. "Peyral?" Jake prompted.
She looked like someone had been sucking her blood for days, she turned darkened eyes to Jake and handed him a pad. "We have sought, but we can not find how to use this." She gestured strongly to the machine.
"Maybe we should have brought Jen with us?" Yawne offered.
"No, the virus is more important, I don't know the time table- but by her expression I think Jen meant 'soon'." Jake replied, sweeping through the jargon before him.
"Why don't we just smash it?" One of the Nekxtskxe said angrily from the side, obviously unused to digging through sky people writing.
"This machine controls Eywa." Jake replied, "We can't afford any mistakes."
The Nekxtskxe fell silent, Yawne stepped forward and took his work load. "She was brilliant, I'll give her that." Yawne huffed. "I haven't seen equations like this since advanced algorithms for Avatar connection…"
"It probably is advanced algorithms for Avatar connection." Jake added absently, "She had planned to continually copy herself, virtually living forever."
Peryal became grim, "and do we let her?" she said lowly.
Jake looked up, as did Yawne. Jake looked to Yawne, but Yawne actually deferred to Jake. "This first." Jake motioned with his pad. Peyral turned away. Jake sighed to himself, "The main thing we're looking for is some kind of terms dealing with control, that is the key word, or reflector. I doubt it has anything to do with equations so put those aside, we need instructions- not science." The teams nodded and redoubled their efforts, Jake scrolled down a list of protocols. Yes, she was brilliant at that.
…
The voice was different this time, not singing, not out of control- but peaceful. Calm and content, as If in realizing his ultimate purpose he had given up completely and no longer cared; accepting his fate. But, it was also a deep bass whisper, right beside her ear- no… inside it. "Why have you come?" Neytiri tried, unfazed.
"To die."
Neytiri was struck by the suddenness of the answers, the clarity; there was no hesitation or resignation, just, being. "Life, is sacred." She tried to regain ground, feeling herself and her values swallowed.
"Only because it ends."
The answers came before she had even finished thinking her own, she felt rushed, off balance. "Was not part of life you enjoyed? Did you never find any happiness?"
The voice fell silent for a short time, seconds and years in an instant. "Everyone dies sometime."
Neytiri felt, slightly confused by that answer, but she couldn't say why. Part of it was more of the same acceptance, apathy, but there was also a part that was… dismissing. Moreover, there was an oppressive emotional pressure emanating from him, trying to constantly sway her. "Life is still worth living." she reaffirmed to herself.
"For who."
It seemed to increase with every word, as- as if he was trying to convince himself and her argument was chipping away at his own non resolve, the pressure intensified suddenly, like a ray of sun from his eyes, she felt her head being pressed in! "Jen still lives." it was desperate, almost lashing, but the pressure stopped.
"Genjen?" the voice had changed.
…
"Here!" Yawne called to the rest of the room, Jake drew closer, "It looks like Diagrams of the machine, well, parts of it…"
Jake turned his head this way and that, it was a rough sketch, like a blue print but it didn't make any sense to him. "Are you sure?"
Yawne squinted and turned the page around in his hands, "Somewhat, see this part? It looks like that." He pointed to a specific section of the machine, Jake couldn't make heads or tails of it.
Jake clapped Yawne on the arm, "I'm going to trust your eye, this may be the section we need." Jake waved over two of the lab technicians, who set to work with Yawne as they dug through a loose pile of paper work. No easy task, the room itself was lined with shelves and desks covered in the stuff, books, schematics, coffee cups- it looked like a lab occupied by computer animation artists. Jake pulled out a thin book and flipped open the cover:
April Eleventh, seven thirty hundred hours,, project was pushed ahead because of the rogue actions of an avatar diver, someone named 'Ryder.'
"Bingo." Jake thought. He flipped ahead.
May fifth, eight oh nine hundred hours, Ryder has been activating some kind of crystalline reverberation, sound may be the key to dispersion…
He flipped a few pages, more, Yawne now had a handful of blue print drawings.
June thirtieth, ten hundred hours, initial testing has begun on smaller animals, Commander Falco is really pushing us to complete the project, frankly I'm tired of his constant badgering but forces are moving against us and I don't think we have any time for mistakes. I just wish I had more time for a lot of things…
Jake, despite himself became slightly engrossed, as he read on, seeing the evolution of a person who was steeped in deception from the beginning. She was just an average person with responsibilities thrust upon her beyond her ability to control… like Jake once was… only, she cracked beneath the pressure and found the work to be her only solace. Hiding so much made her distant, forced her into a seclusion where only the mission mattered. Jake wondered how she ever stayed in touch with her own wants and desires. She did more work on the machine then he did as an Avatar, and while at the same time working on genetic sequencing. Jake couldn't fathom the kind of intellect that commanded… but he could see now what using that constantly for over ten years could do to a person. Jen now was nothing more than a wisp of what she once was, a tired, shriveled husk… a whisper where once a bright star burned gloriously. Pandora had used her up. She could have been the next Einstein, hell, she had discovered immortality… what other wonders could she have produced if she wasn't constantly pushed by the political machinations of other factions? …could she have saved earth itself?
…
"Jen has survived herself in an Avatar, it has happened thrice before, twice by Eywa's will, once by accident. Jen has followed the unnatural path, but she still lives."
Where once was the subdued boom, now only a common monotone; "Lies."
Neytiri couldn't suppress the swallow. "You can feel as I feel, you know my mind, as if you were within it… I do not lie to you." Again the voice hesitated, again a thick silence like muddied rain water running down the side of a tree. Neytiri felt she may finally be getting somewhere, so she pressed on. "And she still wants you."
Mistake.
That feeling of pressure didn't intensify, it swallowed. Neytiri was absolutely consumed in a tide of feelings and thoughts that burst from an unperceivable dam, like someone had been holding a Tsunami over her head and now let it fall- "Why would she want me? I'm useless to her! (I'm useless to everybody!) I'm nothing more than an artist, (a fool,) no, nothing I ever did was any good to anyone, the only use I'd ever serve was dead- (I should never have been born.) then they would be rid of me and she wouldn't have to put up with me, (why did I make her cry?) and I wouldn't have to live in the same forsaken endless loneliness! (I'm so lonely…)" Neytiri no longer felt her body, as if she were ripped from it, set adrift in the dark waters of an alien consciousness. This wasn't like the bond she knew, a gentle kind of external connection- touching with the finger tips; nor was it like the bond between mates, a feeling of oneness, completion- this was like something reaching out and plucking her forcefully from her home and thrown onto its back, to hold on, or fall into oblivion. She twisted, turned, felt a dizzying array of memories and horrors she could not describe… and she saw the sky people home world.
Earth. She had heard it named… rock, metal as far as the eye could see. Lights like the forest at night, burning, as if tortured. The sky people did not celebrate nor marry their environment, they consumed it- spitting out a series of iron cages to lock themselves in. Starring into flat burning screens which showed them they world they could no longer reach- from the maze of cold, dead, stone. It was insanity, and Neytiri could not imagine spending every waking moment there. She saw things she could not understand, so her mind latched solely onto that which she recognized. People. More, people than could fill the whole of hometree a hundred times over. Not only were the caverns of square dead rock and light tiny, tight and confined, but people filled every inch that was not taken by filth. Discarded refuse, materials she couldn't- but there, among them, was once she knew. His face. Neytiri latched onto it like a drowning woman a life preserver. Paul, as he was, this she could understand. She followed him, through the flowing tide of his thoughts, near him- the voice silenced. Here in the heart of memory, there wasn't an endless critique, doubt, or hatred. Here in the truth of moments long past, there was only reality.
He was moving slowly along with the crowd; holding a book tightly under his arm, dressed fully in some kind of shiny fabric which protected from the rain. His feet trudged through puddles which reflected the bright pinks of a sign in sky people writing. Pausing, he lifted his head, uncertain- unhappy. Pushing past the people he mounted the steps and entered the building, opening the door; the room was crowded too, as she felt it would be. As she moved among the many people seated at the tables, she felt how small and cramped the place was, especially as she was herself, walking among them. He chose a corner, to sit, by a small half circle platform. Neytiri marveled at the variety of people here. They were a myriad of different colors, clothing and hair styles- her own people seemed bland in comparison. One had hair the color of rainbows, another's face was lined with metal pierced through her skin. Neytiri was awed and horrified at some of the things she saw, but also, swept up in it. The smells of smoke, some kind of musky coffee, and the nervous sweat of his body. Why was he here?
The lights dimmed, Neytiri's attention was drawn to the circular platform, a girl approached the only chair with an instrument in her arms. She wore a bright blue dress, with blond hair piled high atop her head- but her facial expression, her eyes and her sheer beauty -enhanced by the memory?- startled Neytiri. Jen. It had to be. "Hello everyone," she coughed nervously, "My new song is about the summertime when all the green apples fell, and the white blossoms, well, I hope you enjoy." She ducked her head shyly. Neytiri could feel Paul shift nervously as well. His whole world was her, his absolute focus. As the music began to play, as Jen began to sing, Neytiri could not help but marvel also as the change in the people before her. Then, they were so young, so- full- vibrant, and only then did Neytiri understand how anyone could tolerate living here. The song was soft, a husky whisper, the music lazy but clear. The words, the tone, relished and missed that which had been for them once- that which they ever sought again, and Neytiri felt saddened by how the sky people lamented their loss. So this then, was what drove so many to throw years of their lives away, to seek the stars… for the return.
Then, back then, they had dreamed only of saving their own world- not taking over Pandora. Was that then, the ultimate goal of those still on earth? Had that always been their intention and why they so desperately let their own people cross the universe? For home? Neytiri bowed her head, understanding, finally, the sky people drive. Why they fought so hard and did all they did, and excused what they had done. They were a lost people, searching other worlds in the hopes of discovering some way to find their home again. Neytiri felt tears gather at the edges of her eyes, but by then Jen's song was over. Only a few clapped, Paul among them, and then she was shyly bowing and moving off stage. Paul stood, so Neytiri followed; he followed Jen. Clumsily, yet determinedly, he marched through the crowd after her to a room beyond the stage. People milled about here too, gigantic 'mirrors' lined the walls with bright lights encircling them. Jen was out of breath now that her performance was over, so Paul waited patiently for her to get settled. Still, he leaped too soon and came up to her with his object, that which he had carried under his arm. He fumbled with his words, and Neytiri could not help but feel embarrassed for him.
She knew by the way he shifted his feet, the way his fingers danced across the rectangle in his hands, by the way his breath caught and rushed- this was important. Neytiri caught herself urging him on, pushing him into doing what she wanted him to do with all her heart. "That was a… that was a good show." he smiled.
"What? Oh thank you, did you really like it?" she beamed.
"Oh y-yeah, it was good, great lyrics, you put a lot of thought into them."
"Thanks, not many people like the folk style anymore."
"Oh well, I, you know, um, it's good." Neytiri cringed.
"Was there something else?" Jen's eyes fell to the package.
"Oh uh, yeah, I, well- here." He held it out firmly. Neytiri could see his hands shake.
Jen grinned and took it, "Is this for me? Oh you're so sweet!" she said it chidingly, as if never once considering the impact. Tearing away the paper, Neytiri felt a curiosity overtake her. Leaning forward over his shoulder, she could hear him mumbling to himself. Praying. His hands twisted in on each other. Inside, was, beauty. A beauty Neytiri had never seen before. Rolling mountains covered in snow, with tall trees of brightly colored leaves, sitting at the head of a wide lake where all was mirrored perfectly. It was a sight Neytiri would never forget. Jen, turned it over in her hands. "It's interchangeable!" she chipped. His hands froze. She set it down. On the counter, without a second glance. Neytiri's eyes widened. "Thank you so much." She looked at him, inclining her head, smiling at him like one would a young one who had made their mother a gift of sticks and mud not quite fitting together, but encouraging at the least. "So I'll see you at my next show right?"
His breath had stopped. Neytiri looked to him, her heart falling. She willed him to say something, thought she knew what stilled his tongue. "Yeah." Subdued, admittance of defeat. Neytiri gripped her fist, as Jen continued to chatter about her appreciation for him coming to her shows, why did she not see? Neytiri had noticed it, his signature, on the corner in the lake. It was the one thing different about the photo perfect image… but it never occurred to her, even as she followed him back through the rain at a fast walk, none of it had occurred to her until she saw his own room. There, on every wall, over every surface, was art. Images, sketches, and, paintings. Painted, he had painted that picture. That picture, by his own hands? Neytiri gaped at all around her in the room, she couldn't believe the beauty, locked with in this one's eyes. Neytiri turned around herself, seeing now, the Earth as it once was- through his work- and how beautiful it began. Rolling fields, winding rivers, small farms and vast forests- all of it was so beautiful, she knew it was worth fighting for.
She turned to him, here now, she met for the first time- a sky person who could see before he came to Pandora. …he was holding a knife to his throat…Neytiri rushed forward before she realized it was a memory. Her hands met nothing; the tip was dug in, the blade licking deep, it was going to be messy, terrible, but his hands were firm and eyes closed. "No, No, please!" Neytiri tried again and again to take his hands away, somehow, the knife dropped. Bitter tears, curses, the word useless over and over… Neytiri saw the line of blood left behind. Next, was tragedy incarnate, he stood with the knife… and began slashing at the beautiful pictures. Cutting, thrashing, throwing everything- all of that priceless beauty, destroyed in one violent screaming moment of tears. Neytiri wept for him, and his world. She knew then, how much he had been putting into this, how long it had taken him, and what it meant to him. Much into it, Neytiri pulled away, and sat in the corner. Now she saw a child, as it seemed all the sky people were, unable to contend with their world. Locked within that maze, with brilliant minds and abilities, yet still unable to control that most basic of needs- loneliness.
She watched his childish, cowardly tantrum sadly. Distantly. She knew she could have no affect on it, but in truth, most of her was disappointed. It was immature, and it made her angry to see such waste. But… another part, felt for him. In his stumbling through sky people social insanities, he had blundered, and by all the pressure placed and put on himself he'd come to this. This was not Jen's doing, how could she have known? She did not see… she was stupid, but it was a careless mistake that had cost him everything. She was disgusted by it. This world. And now, his action. By him He saw so much, yet he let this get to him. Let this foolishness rob him of what wa- "You don't understand." The voice was there beside her. Neytiri whipped her head around, Paul stood there, hand covered in paint like the blood of his victims. She was uncertain if he was talking to he- "What do you know about loss?" he was speaking directly to her, starring her in the eye. "What? family, friends? Your house?" he looked down at his hands. "We lost our planet before we even knew we could have it… and I…" the red paint dripped from between his fingers, "Lost my mind…"
Neytiri felt her heart beat furiously, "How, are you speaking to me? This is memory."
He didn't seem to hear. "… lost my future." The image itself, of the room, of the world, melted like that paint between his hands. "It slipped away, even though I held onto it as tightly as I could. But the one thing I can't loose… no matter how hard I actually try… is my life." Neytiri frowned, standing. This was him, his true heart of deepest hearts. "I keep living, endlessly… misery, suffering, it just keep coming, and coming, and the living through it never stops." Neytiri had never dealt personally with anyone suicidal, such things were prevented by the oneness of the clan. Any sign of unhappiness or discontent was recognized quickly in behavior, and dealt with by the family and friends- which meant the entire clan itself. Yet here, the sky people isolated themselves, locked in their iron cages, turning from screen to screen, and in that she knew such things could grow and fester without limit. Why should he care about life, when his own meant worse than nothing- a burden? She spoke to a dead man. He always had been.
…
"Let me check again." Yawne said from his corner, leafing through several papers. Everyone was seated around the machine now, all save the Nekxtskxe who stood and frowned, out of their depth.
"You've looked a hundred times, it has to be the right one." Jake sighed.
"Yeah but you know, okay it says 'cancellation switch' but what if that you know, means, 'kill the planet' or something?"
Jake set his jaw, "Let's not get paranoid. Do it, and be done." He said, more to himself. Yawne chewed on his lip, the lab technicians held their breath. Jake reached out… "Hold onto your butts." The switch turned with a loud clack, the machine began to whine ominously, the power in the room blinked rapidly- then went to red back up lighting. An insistent buzz sounded and somehow, something began to chug like a lawnmower engine. Then the machine popped and let loose a watery hiss. The chugging lessened and lessened, the machine itself began to actually rattle as everyone looked on it trepidation- there was some kind of winding turbine noise, winding down. A final chug, then a sputter, and a light on the machine turned red. Jake remained frozen in place, turned his ears this way and that… everyone looked to each other in silence. No one spoke a word until- "'Think we're safe." The room shook with a deafening shockwave throwing everyone off their feet.