Chapter 9: Of truth and mistrust

Authors note: And so the story continues. For this chapter I decided to base it more on Balin and Thobera's close bond which will be elaborated on further throughout the story. Dwalin's hostile behaviour towards Thobera will also be included in this chapter. Hope you enjoy!

And so the rain came, much to everyone's annoyance and contempt. All was silent but the constant echo of thunder, the raindrops, falling anywhere they could, and also the splashes of puddles caused by the pony footsteps on the sodden ground as the company continued their long journey. No one made a sound. All frowning and miserable with the weather, they rode in silence. Many simply tried to focus their gazes on the road ahead, and the rain continued to irritate them by splashing their faces in the process and blurring their visions, preventing them from focusing on anything. Some, considered rather daft, Bofur in particular, tried to light their pipes with no such luck. The rain had prevented them from doing this also.

The rain continued for two hours, and all of this was spent in silence. Thorin had placed himself back at the front of the company after his little discussion with Thobera. She on the other hand decided it would be best if she rode her pony at the back of the company. She rode in silence with her cloak hood covering half of her face. Her hair and her beard were still soaked like the other Dwarves, Bilbo and even Gandalf. But she was not bothered by the rain as much as the others; she had grown accustomed to it over the years.

It wasn't until Dori spoke up that the company decided to finally make conversation.

"Here, Mr. Gandalf!" Dori called out alerting the old Wizard's attention. Gandalf gazed over to the Dwarf who signalled his head towards the rain. "Can't you do something about this deluge?"

"It is raining Master Dwarf," Gandalf proclaimed causing one or two to roll their eyes towards his all-too-obvious observation "and it will continue to rain until the rain is done. If you wish to change the weather of the world, you should find yourself another Wizard."

Dori grumbled to himself and rolled his eyes. He continued to mope about like many of the other Dwarves. Bilbo's attentions were raised and decided to speak up on the matter Gandalf had just mentioned.

"Are there any?"

"What?" Gandalf questioned not turning his head toward the curious Hobbit.

"Other Wizards?"

"There are five of us," Gandalf explained "the wisest of our order is Saruman, the White. Then there are the two Blue Wizards," he then paused before continuing "you know I have quite forgotten their names."

Bilbo nodded still rather sceptical "and, who is the fifth?"

"Well that would be Radagast, the Brown," Gandalf finished smiling as he turned his head towards the direction of Bilbo.

"Is he a great Wizard, or is he more like you?" Bilbo questioned silencing the poor Wizard for several moments. Gandalf was left taken aback by the Hobbit's question. He didn't know if to take offence or laugh at the comment. But before he could reply, someone else added yet another surprising comment.

"Oh, I doubt anyone could beat ol' grumpy Gandalf at his own game," Thobera added from the back of the company. As Bilbo turned around she passed an amusing wink in his direction causing him and many others to chuckle in amusement. Gandalf opened his mouth to speak yet again, hoping no one else would make anymore embarrassing outbursts. Luckily for him, no more comments were made and he was able to continue his speech.

"I think he is a great Wizard," Gandalf continued bringing himself back onto the subject of Radagast "in his own way. He's a gentle soul who prefers the company of animals to others. He keeps a watchful eye on the vast forest lands to the East. And a good thing too. For always evil will look to find a foot hole in this world."

"Why the East?" Bilbo questioned. "Don't the Elves keep a good enough watch over the forests there?"

Gandalf nodded in agreement but before replying he heard a strange noise come from the opposite direction. It was Thorin at the front. He let out a loud grunt of disapproval which caused Gandalf to shake his head at the stubborn Dwarf.

"I do believe so," Gandalf replied turning his undivided attentions back to the Halfling "but if you wish to know so much, why don't you locate him and go ask him yourself?"

"I wouldn't ask him too many questions Bilbo," Thobera continued now making her pony ride more upfront "I learned many years ago, Wizard's do not like others to pry into their affairs. I have found that they come and go as they choose. You can never predict when one will appear one moment and then go the next."

Bilbo smiled remembering how Gandalf had miraculously appeared at his doorstep and offered him the chance to go on an adventure. The Wizard was a very mysterious fellow. It made him wonder if the other Wizards were like him. And by the sounds of this Radagast, Bilbo was getting the impression they were in fact a lot like the one before him. It baffled him slightly to think there were only five Wizards in Middle-Earth. Why not more?

Soon the rain began to ease and eventually the sun pierced its way through the dark clouds and had stopped the heavy downpour entirely. This brought many smiles to miserable Dwarf faces. Now they could focus their attentions on getting dry.

And so they continued on until around teatime when many, Bombur in particular, boasted they were hungry. This made Thorin rather annoyed at the constant moaning from his fellow Dwarves, and eventually he couldn't take anymore so he agreed to stop the travelling and set up a camp in the middle of the forest. Bombur had, rather too eagerly, grabbed his cooking pots and the food that was stored in his bag and began to set it up while everyone else got comfortable. It was now starting to grow dark as the sun was just above the horizon. Most of the company had settled their feet and relaxed, getting out their pipes or simply leaning themselves against a tree lazily.

Once Bombur had set up his cooking equipment he searched around and alerted the company he needed some firewood in order to cook. Many rolled their eyes at the overweight Dwarf and saw this as an excuse of his to not do anymore physical exercise. They knew that he expected someone to go into the now dark forest and locate some odd twigs or branches for firewood. And it seemed no one wanted to volunteer.

"I'll go." Thobera announced rising from her sitting position nearby Bilbo and Gandalf. Everyone's gaze now fell upon her and as she shifted past each sitting Dwarf, she felt rather uneasy. Usually she would simply ignore their stares and continue on, but somehow, Thobera was not herself this evening.

As she made her attempts to get away from the rest of the comfortable Dwarves, she was eager to get away from the others and was about to dart off into the darkness. That was until a large bulky arm grabbed her arm tightly from within the shadows. Thobera squirmed for a few moments before fixing her gaze on the bulkily built Dwarf. She scowled when her gaze fell upon him. He was one she was growing to greatly dislike. It was Dwalin of course.

"I'm watching you Dwarf woman," he snapped quietly giving her such a cold glare that she returned all too eagerly.

"I know," was her reply with a slow and cautious tone. "And I can't help but sense a lack of trust about you."

"See?" He snapped clenching his large hand tighter on her arm with fury "you're nothing but an obnoxious wench! I don't know why or what Thorin sees in you, but I thought I'd give you a word of warning. You DARE bring any harm to him, or betray any of us like you did with king Thror… and I will make you pay with your head! Understand?"

"Yes," Thobera squirmed then managing to shove her arm out of his constricting grip "now unhand me!"

Thobera took a moment of her time to glare daggers at the Dwarf lord. She said no more to him, but her eyes said what her mouth did not. His eyes narrowed and his facial expression turned into a threatening scowl as she swiftly turned away and departed into the forest to continue her voluntary task. He simply leant back against the tree he stood next to and gazed up at the sky through the branches. And when he looked back down, his face was met with another's.

"Was that really necessary brother?"

Dwalin turned, noticing an older figure standing, one arm resting on his hip and the other holding a glowing lantern light, shaking his head disapprovingly at him. It was Balin, his older and only brother.

"Yeah," he then also crossed his eyes darting off into the darkness in the direction Thobera had headed in "it was."

"Look Dwalin," Balin began placing his free hand on his brother's sturdy shoulder "I know you have nothing but contempt for that poor Dwarf woman after what she did in Erebor but-"

"Poor?!" Dwalin snapped rudely interrupting his brother's speech. His eyes widened angrily at his brother. "Don't tell me you have pity for her too brother?"

"I'm afraid I have," Balin then turned away "I of all people should. After all, I am the only one who knew what she had to go through back in the days before her exile."

"What happened then?" Dwalin asked expectantly. "To make you go all soft on a traitor like that."

"I cannot say," Balin looked down and paused before changing the subject. "Look brother, I do not ask you to forgive her, or even trust her entirely. But I ask you not to judge her until you know the whole story."

Dwalin would've replied. That was if it wasn't for Balin's rapid departure. Balin, much to his brother's surprise, pursued the Dwarf woman through the trees. He held his lantern high as it guided him through the darkened woods. His hearing, worn out in his old age, had still managed to keep a sharp alert to any sudden sound or movement in the forest. And it wasn't until a shadowy figure moved about from tree to tree that his constant alert began to diminish, only slightly.

"Thobera, lass?" Balin called out hoping to get a reply of some sort to confirm the figure was in fact her.

"What is it?" Came a muffled reply as the figure continued to dart around quickly. Balin approached with a slight caution holding his lantern light out to guide his path.

"It is just ol' Balin," he explained cheerfully "I wondered if you needed any help out here."

"Oh no," she said stooping down and picking up various twigs in her hands as she talked to the friendly Dwarf "I'm sure I can manage with such a simple task. Thank you for the kind offer anyway."

"Oh I am sure you can manage," he smiled "I am, after all, speaking to the same Dwarf lass who I watched helping her father gather herbs in the nearby forests overlooking Erebor, all of those years ago."

Thobera paused gathering wood and turned her head to face old Balin. Her eyes were wide and she stood rather taken aback, she didn't know what to say. She barely remembered her childhood, but she remembered her father well enough. She also remembered Balin, and deep down, had a lot of respect for the elder Dwarf, unlike his younger brother whom she was growing to dislike greatly.

"You don't need to say a thing lass," Balin's smile grew wider "I remember looking from afar, watching as such an innocent Dwarf girl grew to be the fiery and courageous Dwarf woman she is now. I have always wondered what your father would say if he were still here."

"He would be stunned," Thobera said finally "I doubt he ever expected all of this to happen to me. I believed he only wanted me to settle down like the other Dwarf women and raise a family with a suitable Dwarf man. Instead I find myself almost executed, then exiled from my entire race, and then fighting other peoples wars, and finally, reuniting with those who I have grown to admire and call friends."

"Yes," Balin added gazing away slightly "Thorin seemed quite happy to see you again."

"I wasn't just talking of Thorin," Thobera placed her hand on Balin's chin and turned his head gently back to her. "I never forgot what you also did for me that night."

"I had a duty to protect Thorin from not getting caught for helping you escape," he explained pausing slightly before continuing "and I promised your father, I would always look out for you. Even though you never made it easy for me or even yourself for that matter."

"I know," Thobera said bitterly turning her head in the direction of the darkened trees. She was recalling her rebellious days in Erebor before she was to stand before the king for the crimes she had committed. These memories were ones she did not like to relook upon.

"Oh, lass," Balin then did what she did to him and placed a gentle hand on her chin "where did it all go wrong for you?"

"I could say it was the day when Papa died," she bowed her head "I never forgave Thror for sending him out to war like that."

"Or for me having to be the one to tell you of his passing," Balin added also joining her gaze at the floor.

The two remained silent, the tension building up around them. It was not one filled with anger or aggression, more of one with sorrow and remorse for recalling the not so happier times the two had encountered together. Never before had the two discussed this. But the Dwarf lord and the Dwarf woman had a past, one much like the one she also had with Thorin, but a more personal. Thobera and Balin had something they had both lost, someone, they both had cared about. To Balin, he was a friend, and to Thobera, he was a father.

"I still miss him," Thobera whispered voice trembling slightly. Balin gazed up at her with sad eyes and took his hands out of his red cloak before taking her hands into his own. Thobera gazed up at her older friend as he spoke softly.

"So do I," Balin cooed "he was a good man was ol' Dulin. And a great friend to me and an even greater father to you."

Thobera couldn't help but smile sadly at Balin she gazed down at their hands and then looked into his eyes. There was so much emotion in the older Dwarf's eyes. He had seen many battles, faced many foes and watched as others around him had perished while he still remained. He was a battle hardened warrior, much like his younger brother. Yet, he was so different from Dwalin in many ways. He was kinder to those less fortunate for starters. He had not only taken kindly to Thobera, but he was also much more sympathetic towards Bilbo while the others were not. There was so much to the older Dwarf that was left untold. He was wise, yet he still had an unsure stance about him. This was probably why he was much kinder than the others, because he pitied them.

"I thought I'd be the one to apologise for my brother's actions towards you," Balin finally broke out still holding onto Thobera's cold trembling hands as he spoke.

"An apology is not necessary Balin," Thobera insisted much to the elder Dwarf's denial.

"No, no," Balin shook his head "his behaviour was much uncalled for, yet rather predictable. He was always a rough fellow, even before you angered him."

"I know of why he has nothing but hatred toward me," Thobera admitted "and I do not blame him for a second. He is extremely loyal to Thorin, and he fears I will do to him as I did to his grandfather. He is also sceptical of me, because he thinks I cannot be trusted. But I hope to prove him wrong. I may not have pledged an allegiance to Thror, but Thorin is different. He is one I could call a noble king."

"Dwalin will grow on you in time lass," Balin encouraged her "you just have to gain his respect as all."

"Oh, that is not what I signed up to do," Thobera smirked "I recall signing up for journeying to Erebor and fighting amongst you if necessary. Not to gain the respect of those who despise me. And if your brother has a problem with me; he'll just have to deal with it. I joined this quest to help Thorin and only him alone. I guess it is my way of repaying him for what he did for me all of those years ago."

"And so you shall," Balin winked "you already proved to us that you are capable of fighting your own battles."

"Exactly," Thobera then took her hands from Balin's and leant down to pick up the pile of twigs and pieces of wood she had managed to collect for their fire. "Now I guess we had better get back before they send out a search party for us."

"Right you are lass," Balin replied following her back to their camp. "We don't want to disappoint the poor hungry souls who cannot be bothered to get some firewood themselves."

The journey back was made in silence. Balin held his lantern to guide the two back on their path to the camp. It was growing really dark now and the lantern light was the only thing between them from tripping or bumping into any nearby trees. But before they got back to camp, Balin said something rather unexpected.

"He has always cared for you deep down, you know,"

"Who?" Thobera asked despite being well aware of who he was speaking of.

"Thorin," Balin continued "although I never told him of our encounter on your escape, I have always noticed he never forgot you. He may be quiet and proud, but deep down in that emotion, he still cares for you."

"Balin," Thobera began "I know you care for both of us, and I don't wish to sound rude here. But, Thorin has more pressing things on his mind with the quest and everything else to care for little ol' me. And from what I have learnt from our discussion earlier, he is determined to put his life on the line to reclaim Erebor for his people. I appreciate that. He is now the last king of the once mighty kingdom, and when he restores the kingdom to his people, that might be a time when he begins to appreciate who he cares for. But until that day comes, he will not wish to get distracted by others."

"Yes, and with that day, I hope you are there to share it with us all. For you deserve a better life than the one you have been given over the past few decades."

"Thank you Balin," Thobera smiled "but I don't deserve anything like that. I have been a nuisance to many and a saviour to only a few. I have hoped to repay you all for the crimes I committed all of those years ago, and now I have been given the chance. I just hope that one day; the other Dwarves may look upon me with friendly eyes, than those of deceit and hatred."

"That day will come," Balin encouraged finally "the others will soon realize they will need you, in the end."

Once back at camp, Thobera dumped the firewood on the floor and left it for Bifur, Bofur and Bombur to sought out amongst themselves. Thobera sat back down again next to Gandalf and Bilbo. She couldn't help but turn her gaze upon Thorin who sat resting his head upon the tree opposite her with his eyes close. She had recalled what Balin had just told her. He claimed that Thorin still cared for her, and it was made obvious that he still cared a bit for her the day she took on the Orc pack. If it wasn't for Thorin and his two younger nephews, she would've been either dead or badly wounded by that Warg. She had, yet again, owed him her life. And of course she would repay him for it during this quest. Her gaze remained fixed upon him, and it actually surprised her a little. The way Thorin was leaning back made him almost look rather… peaceful. These days it was a very rare sight to see Thorin in such a way. Only with the company one day and Thobera already knew that the king-in-exile had a lot of weight on his shoulders. He carried the honour, or burden (as some may call it), of leading the company on this daring quest to try and reclaim their homeland. He was now the leader of a once mighty race in Middle-Earth. Thobera didn't know whether he would succeed or not in this quest. But she was prepared to follow him to whatever end. She knew it was time she had stopped going about on her own and fight among her own kin again. And even if the others were not prepared to accept her presence yet. Thorin, Balin, Bofur, Bilbo and Gandalf certainly were. And like Balin had said, she would gain the others trust in time. She would just have to prove she was a changed Dwarf woman, and that she could be trusted to do the right thing. But for stubborn Dwarf lords like Dwalin, that would be a tricky task.

"Here ya are lass," Bofur approached her Gandalf and Bilbo with bowls full of soup "nice and hot food, courtesy of me and Bombur. You'll be thankin' us later, it seems like it'll be a cold one tonight."

"Thank you Bofur," Thobera tilted her head and grinned at the chatty Dwarf as he passed the other two bowls he was juggling to Bilbo and Gandalf who both thanked him like she had done.

Bofur walked away again and then came back with a single bowl for Thorin. Thobera watched as Thorin accepted the bowl from Bofur and ate quietly keeping to himself. It wasn't until he felt someone was watching him that he lifted his head up and immediately laid his eyes upon Thobera. She instantly turned away and placed her head down and began to eat her soup as Gandalf and Bilbo chatted to each other. Thorin watched her do this before gazing back down again also keeping his head held low as he ate.

After dinner, everyone pretty much went to sleep straight away. One or two decided to stay awake for a while to smoke their pipe or just sit quietly to themselves. The night was silent and peaceful. Nothing, not even any nocturnal animals, could disturb this tranquil night. But, just as Bofur had predicted, it was growing colder. The stars were all out. This signified to them that there would be a frost in the morning. But this was to be expected with the time of year and the slow change of weather that was approaching.

Thobera was the last to settle that night. She sat, back pinned against the tree and head gazing up at the visible stars through the trees. One hand touching the hard forest floor, while the other gently caressing one of her Dwarvish axes tucked in her belt. She was in constant thought, about many things. One persistent thing that lingered in her head was the thought of her role in the quest. She knew it was the right choice to make. She would do what she could to help Thorin Oakenshield and his company reach Erebor and take back the lands that the monstrous Dragon Smaug had stolen from them all of those years ago. She knew it was the time she would help her own kin and pledge her allegiance to a Dwarven king, than that of the Men of Rohan or any other kingdom for that matter. Because, despite being a Dwarven ranger for many decades, she was still a Dwarf woman. Therefore she belonged with her own people. She also knew that her talents of being an expert in the wild could finally be put to good use in aiding the company to Erebor. And even though many did show contempt toward her, Balin was right. They would need her in the end.

And so she would go to sleep that night, knowing full well she was up for all this quest would bring upon her. And all the real commotion would start the next night, after a certain Hobbit ran into some unexpected yet vile creatures.

Authors note: And so, you know what the next few chapters will be based on right? You got it! The TROLLS! Can't wait to write that! I still crack up at that scene in the film and also in the book. I may also include a flashback with Balin and young Thobera in the next chapter, depending on how it goes. Anyway please tell me what you think of this chapter in a review. I really do like reviews! Thank you!