What it is to forgive Buffy walked numbly down the familiar streets of Sunnydale as odd things were reminding her of Spike.She passed a public phone and a distinct memory of Spike's phone call, when she had been bored out of her mind in the Magic Shop, came flooding back to her.She chuckled slightly as she wondered just how Spike had got the money to phone her, knowing him he probably hadn't come upon it by chance, or found it lying around. 'Lying around.'
Flickers of their various encounters exploded in front of her.She'd had her fair share of lying around; coming back had screwed her up badly.She couldn't fathom now where she had got such a despicable sense of supremacy, and the belief that she had a right to Spike's body, to his heart if she so wished...Tears trailed down her face, but she ignored every single concerned face that passed her by, she didn't deserve their concern.She saw a deserted house; closer inspection revealed it was the deserted house.The first time…first time she and Spike had…they had 'a bloody revelation!' Buffy laughed at first as Spike's voice filled her head, but then it turned into a cry.Not knowing the reason but accepting the comfort the house seemed to be bringing her, she ran into the house.It was just as they had left it; the hole in the floor and everything.
Buffy immediately jumped down the hole that her and Spike's combined force had made and allowed herself to finally break down in the dark.To her dismay, she found she could not.Bitter self-hatred seeped through her until she heard a soft voice, "Buffy?Is that you?"
Buffy's eyes hardened, she wiped her face with the back of her arm and when Spike walked into the light she shot him a look of disgust; ignoring the broken look that went through his blue eyes. "Get out," her voice dangerous and left no room for argument.
Spike raised his hands up in surrender, slowly approaching. "Let me explain, alright?" Buffy lost it, losing Spike had torn her heart out, and she didn't need some incorporeal ghost-demon-thingy torturing her further with this imitation. "OHH!BLOODY HELL! LEAVE OFF THE SODDIN' NOSE SLAYER!" Buffy froze. "You're corporeal?" Spike looked at her like she had gone insane. "Well yeah!"
"You're real!"
"As real as I ever was, look Buffy what's-" Spike was cut off as Buffy suddenly threw herself at him, her lips meeting his hungrily. He could feel hunger coming off her in waves. He abruptly pushed her off.Buffy was about to feel hurt, but then she saw the fear screaming in his eyes.And then she saw the extent of the damage she had done.
"Buffy I'm leaving. I'm here because I couldn't leave you like that. Not without a goodbye, you deserve that much."
Buffy shook her head, but Spike was by the exit. "I FORGIVE YOU!!!" she had meant to say 'I love you' but somehow those words hadn't come out.She saw Spike's back stiffen, and she heard distinct sniffing.
"I'm in trouble Buffy. Something's been controlling me, making me see things, do things." He let out a broken sigh.
"I'm in trouble Buffy."
Spike then fell to the floor, his back pressed against the wall, his face pained.Buffy fell to her knees in front of him.
"I can help you," she told him softly, her face full of conviction. Spike looked up at her, a look of shock on his face.But then he fiddled with his hands.
"No, not after…I could never ask."
Buffy smiled. "It's different, you're different."
Spike's broken reply didn't change. "I could never ask."
Buffy spoke with more conviction. "Spike it's me.It's you and it's me and we'll get through this…we'll get through this."
Buffy put a hand onto the side of his face, and as if unworthy or honouring Spike leaned into her palm and drooped his head. Buffy gently nudged him, and Spike moved his face upwards, tears sliding down his face.
"I meant it Spike.I forgive you, for everything." With that, slowly, she leaned forward her eyes never leaving his until they drew shut and she kissed him tenderly, and for the first time, lovingly.
Sorry for the wait! Please review and I'll try to update quicker !