Away, was Aeryn's only thought. I have to get away from this place. The trees that were usually so welcoming seemed to strangle her, enclosing her in thoughts that she did not want to remember. The elf ran mindlessly through the forest, every root tripping her as she struggled to escape. Her breathing was heavy and her footsteps even heavier. For a well-trained hunter, Aeryn was making a fool out of herself.
After much effort, she emerged at the outskirts of the forest. Aeryn leaned against a tree and stared at the ground as she caught her breath. Her body was bent over, her hair falling in front of her face, her breathing rugged... the usual calm and collected elf was nowhere to be found. When Aeryn finally managed to gain her composure, she raised her head, only to be blinded by the harsh sunlight which was unfiltered by the trees.
"Elgar'nan!" she cursed aloud. Squinting, she looked up again, trying to make hold of her surroundings. In the distance, she could see an outline of buildings and a trail of heavy smoke. A shemlen village.
Aeryn sighed. She had not purposefully meant to come to this location, but her subconscious mind must have taken control. After all, she had been here many times before. She sat down against the trunk of a tree and allowed her brain to focus on past thoughts from this place. Seeing as her present ones were far too painful.
When life in the clan had become too much (or more accurately, too little), Aeryn would escape here. She simply sought a change of scenery, and something, anything, to be away from the repetitive nature of life in the camp. You wake up, greet the same five people, spend the day either cooking or crafting... all so that you have the energy to do the exact same thing the next day. And the next day... and the next day... And the sad part was that it was every young elf's routine.
Well, that wasn't entirely true. Since she was young, Aeryn had been receiving private lessons from Marethari on elvhen history and lore. She had also been learning the shemlen counterparts. Marethari never explicitly said anything, but Aeryn inferred that she was being trained to become a Keeper. Although the elf eagerly accepted the knowledge, it was clear from the start that she was no leader. Her usually strong personality wilted when others watched her, and she was far more interested in messing around than in getting actual business done. Plus, she lacked any sort of magical ability that was typically imperative for a Keeper. And still, Marethari insisted on teaching her, for reasons Aeryn did not know.
Anyways, the elf had hoped that life would get better once she became a real hunter. Then she would be out in the woods every day, not just when Marethari allowed it. And she would be with her hunting partner, Tamlen, at almost every moment...
But in light of the recent events, that thought didn't seem so thrilling anymore. The rage inside Aeryn fired up again. She dug her hands into the ground and pushed up forcefully, causing her to stride into the open meadow. She continued forward, her anger guiding her as she progressed towards the town. Then, all of the sudden, the detachment from the forest shocked Aeryn, and she stopped dead in her tracks. Although it was only a few steps, the elf had never been this far outside of the forest. All the previous times she had come here, she had remained deep in the shadows of the trees. As quickly as it had come, the anger washed out of Aeryn, leaving her confused and vulnerable. She could not determine why this separation was having such an extreme effect on her... but then she remembered. There were words... words that the Keeper had spoken to her so many years ago:
"Never stray beyond arm's reach of a tree, da'len. This place is your home. You were made for the trees just as the trees were made for you. It is our duty as Dalish to protect this forest, and so the forest will protect us too. But remember, neither the Dalish nor the trees have power outside of their roots. "
These words, almost forgotten up until this point, flashed back into Aeryn's mind. And now they were bringing her back to the forest... back home. She sprinted towards the trees, ashamed of herself for even daring to leave them in the first place. In the rush of pure adrenaline and emotion, she leapt onto one of the tree trunks and began climbing it. Her movements were strong and agile as she rose to the uppermost branches. She swore to herself that she would never think ill of the Dalish again... not after experiencing that feeling of vulnerability in the field.
Aeryn found a sturdy limb, then sat down and trailed her legs over the edge. She felt the wind in her face and the leaves gently brush her skin. And she realized that her life wasn't that bad. There were many wonderful things about the Dalish: the stories of the Creators, the festivals, the beauty of the forest, the loyalty of the clan, the rare excursions when she could hunt with Tamlen...
Aeryn sighed sadly. It was amazing how much her mood was fluctuating today... and how every thought seemed to lead back to him.
And then it hit her.
These emotions were fleeting. They blew away with every gust of wind. But Tamlen... Tamlen was permanent. He was always there to offer a steady hand to hold, or a smile to laugh with. And why should that change now? Tamlen had done nothing wrong... certainly nothing to merit the kind of treatment Aeryn had given him. The memory of the look in his eyes when she had yelled at him...
Aeryn was ashamed. Ashamed of the way she had treated her best friend. And how she might have ruined a chance for them to become something more. The more Aeryn thought about it, the more she wished for them to become bond mates. Nothing had ever felt as right as Tamlen's touch that night, and she doubted that anything ever again would. Her initial worries seemed simple, childish, and whiny; the panic of the morning must have exaggerated her emotions. She had been far too concerned in the future, and refused to accept the reality of the present...
So Aeryn vowed to herself that she would fix this. She would not let her stupid mistake determine the fate of their relationship. She was about to climb down from the tree, when she heard a crashing in the forest.
"Aeryn!" a voice called out. "Where are you? Please, just let me talk to you..."
The noise was getting nearer and nearer… and then Tamlen emerged into sight. He was covered in dirt and sweat, and appeared to be close to tears. Was this how she had looked?
He stumbled forward, not seeing Aeryn hidden in the upper branches. When he reached the end of the tree line, his face fell into lines of despair.
"No. Not there. Aeryn, please not there..." he whispered. Then he called out to the field, "No! I'm sorry! Aeryn, please come back!" Upon hearing no response, Tamlen sank to his knees, hiding his face in his hands.
He thought I left the forest. He figured I had finally gone to that stupid shemlen town, Aeryn thought. Tears welled in her eyes; it broke her heart to see him in pain like this, and to know that she had caused it. She wanted to leap down from the tree and hold him, hold him like he had held her so many times before. But that would make the situation so much more emotional than it needed to be. It was such a silly problem... that I caused, Aeryn thought bitterly. The last thing she wanted to do was to dwell on it, and she simply wished for things to go back to normal. So the elf remained perched on her branch and called from above:
"Thought you said you wanted to play hide-and-seek."
Tamlen turned so quickly that he slipped, and his body came crashing to the ground.
"I... what?" he called into the space, scrambling to get up.
"We were playing hide-and-seek." Aeryn said, a single tear running down her face. "I suppose you found me."
"Aeryn? Is… is that you?" Tamlen called, his eyes frantically searching for the source of the voice. "Where are you? You know what, no, just never mind where you are. I need to tell you something."
His voice was frenzied, quivering with emotion.
"Listen, please. I never meant to hurt you. I was just... I thought... Aeryn, there is nobody in this world who knows me like you do. And I thought the same applied for you... with me... okay, no, this is coming out all wrong."
"Listen, you're my world. Okay? I can't imagine living without you. And after everything we've been through, I can't help but be falling in..." Tamlen coughed, interrupting his words. "You're… you're my best friend. And I can't stand seeing you like this. If you still don't want to talk to me, I suppose I'll... I'll leave you alone. Just know that I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." he sobbed, his voice trailing off.
Aeryn remained in the tree above, absolutely speechless. She simply gaped down at him, too astonished to reply.
"Na elgar!" Tamlen exclaimed. "Spirit of my imagination! I've been talking to myself this whole time, haven't I? Curse the Creators..." And with those words, he turned away, overwhelmed with sobs.
Seeing Tamlen's burst of raw emotion, Aeryn snapped out of her daze. She quickly descended from the tree, and started to move toward him. Tamlen didn't hear her approaching, for his own sobs were loud enough to cover the sound of her footsteps. Upon reaching him, she gently placed her head on his jumped in surprise, turning round to face her.
"Aeryn?" he blurted out, hastily sniffing his nose and wiping his face. "Is that… is that really you? By the Creators..."
He stared at her, his grey eyes flooded with tears.
"Did you… did you hear all of that?" Tamlen asked, a blush starting to creep into his cheeks. Aeryn simply nodded in reply, with an understanding smile on her face.
"I'm sorry, I really am..." he began, but then Aeryn cut him off.
"No. Stop saying that." she replied curtly, her smile now gone.
Tamlen stuttered, and his face broke into lines of bewilderment and hurt. Shit, she thought to herself, as his expression sent another blow to her heart. There she went again, letting her words get the better of her. Aeryn intended to be a lot more sympathizing… in fact, she felt the need to be sympathizing seeing as she caused all of this in the first place. She felt nothing but guilt and remorse… and still that rubbish had come blurting out of her mouth. Only Aeryn supposed the anger in the comment wasn't directed to Tamlen, but to herself…
"It's not your fault. It's not even a little bit your fault. It's me and my pathetic inability to express emotions." Aeryn continued, hopefully explaining herself better.
"But... but..." he stammered. "No, Aeryn, please don't blame yourself. You were right before. I'm sorry that I rushed things..."
"Tamlen, no. Listen. I'm sorry. Please don't think it had anything to do with what you did..."
But Tamlen interrupted, "I don't know what I was thinking, I can't believe I even did that. You had every right to be upset..."
"Tamlen, seriously. You did nothing wrong. It was me who treated you terribly..."
"Aeryn, I don't think you understand what I'm getting at..."
"Tamlen, I understand exactly what you're getting at, and I'm telling you that it was my fault."
"Please Aeryn..."
"Tamlen, are you even listening…?"
"I never wanted to hurt you..."
"You're not even hearing a word I'm saying…"
"I have never felt this sorry before…"
But his words were cut off by the pressure of Aeryn's lips. For she had pulled him by the shirt and was kissing him full on the mouth. She saw his eyes widen in surprise and then relax, and he started kissing her back. It was very different from their last kiss; this one was slow and emotional, both of them tasting the other's tears. It felt as though all of their feelings were transferred through this embrace; all of the thoughts they couldn't explain and all of the emotions they couldn't convey were suddenly understood. They remained like this for hours, days, years, centuries... things like time seemed to lose all meaning in his arms. When they finally broke apart, they remained close together, simply staring into each other's eyes. Both of them were breathing heavily, but not speaking a word.
Then finally, Tamlen's face cracked into a wide smile. Aeryn looked at him questioningly, noticing that his eyes were glimmering with their usual energy. She began to smile too, simply because she realized that he was back… that they were back.
"What?" she asked, grinning. "Tamlen, seriously, why are you looking at me like that?"
He merely smirked and tilted his head, as though contemplating her face. Then his expression broke into an even larger smile, and he mouthed the words, "I'm sorry."
Aeryn ran forward and punched him in the chest.
"You aren't funny!" she yelled, although she was laughing a great deal. And at that, Aeryn took Tamlen by the hand, and they walked together back through the forest.