Shadows and Ash Chapter 35: On the Road Again, a pokémon fanfic

Chapter 35, everybody! In which Darkrai references Shrek and Kung-Fu Panda 2….Darkrai's a closet DreamWorks fan, apparently. And a fan of Keanu Reeves too—the "shoot the hostage" thing comes from the movie Speed.

In other news, thank you all for the attention this fic has received—as of this chapter, we're looking at 434 reviews, 428 favorites, and 500 follows. Couple with over 80,000 views, and I can honestly say this thing blows all my other fics out of the water. :O Gotta make sure I keep it up!

11JJ11, thanks for the review! Thank you, I'm glad you like it! :D Persian was actually surprisingly tricky to write, so I'm glad it read well. Yes….

ChangelingRin, thanks for the review! Maybe—would you believe I didn't know about this particular fan-theory until last year? I read it and thought it was pretty interesting, and it stuck with me ever since. Thank you, I'm glad that worked well. :D I shall!

Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! Yes…and yes—the Pokémon Live! show. Well….Oh dear, what is Ash made of? :O

Boggie445, thanks for the review! I take it Persian was written appropriately for an evil cat then. :)

Thor94, thanks for the review! Thank you, I'm glad you like it! Maybe….

Dragonkeeper10, thanks for the review! Maybe…and good question….

InkyTheInk, thanks for the review! Yes, check in next week, maybe we'll allow it (or maybe they used to and changed it, who knows? The Shadow does! Oh wait…). So that's where it comes from! I've heard it around and was never able to pin down where it comes from originally—thanks! :) It IS. And I think Persian's boss might contest ownership.

Scarlet Firesong, thanks for the review! Yes….

Bibliophile030, thanks for the review! Yes—I was picturing a cougar-cat and jaguar when I was writing for Persian, with a bit of the cat from Coraline as well; apparently it brought a terrifying picture across. :O Good question….Well, hopefully this chapter fits the bill! :D

IceDragonGirl36, thanks for the review! Awesome! Happy belated birthday! :D Yes….

Blitza, thanks for the review! Yes! Mine too—found out about that particular fan-theory last year, and I loved it because of the interesting aspects of it (and it gives us a reason why Jessie, James and Meowth keep on the twerp's tail…).

Caitycaterpillar, thanks for the 434th review! Frenzy's one of my favorites too—I love the effect he has on people. :D Thank you, I'm glad you like it, and I hope to continue to please! :D

Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo

And now, for something completely different:

In other news, traffic in Castellia City has come to a standstill due to a sit-in protest organized by Team PLASMA. Team PLASMA members informed the interviewing reporters that they wish to protest the senseless battling of Pokémon for human pleasure. One PLASMA admin has agreed to a more in-depth interview at a later date.

It was nearly a week later when they finally left Port Vista. Ash was of the opinion that if they had dallied any more, he would have screamed.

Port Vista was relatively close to Fuchsia City, and didn't require much effort as far as travelling went, seeing as how it had a nice road heading there—even paved in the middle for wheeled traffic. There wasn't much traffic at the moment, however, and Ash enjoyed the relative solitude.

Misty, meanwhile, was checking her Pokéballs—she had two new acquisitions, allowed by the Rangers in an attempt to alleviate the pressure on the surrounding bay and as a thank you for helping them with the water Pokémon. The Tentacool and Horsea seemed snug and happy enough in their red and white containers.

"So according to this map, Fuchsia is a good day's worth of walking," Brock said, reading said map while deftly avoiding tripping in a crack. "I say we take it easy, get back in the swing of travelling."

"Let's not and say we did," Ash said. "Unless there's going to be training—what kind of Pokémon are on this route?"

Brock traded in his map for a field guide. "Bellsprout, Oddish, Pidgey…hey, Ash! Venonat's on here!"

"Ick," Misty said, making a face. "It's bad enough you have one bug on your team—don't add another one."

"What's wrong with Venonat?" Ash asked. "They're cute and fuzzy and round. And really look like they ought to evolve into Butterfree."

"They're bugs—what else needs to be—EEK!"

Ash spun around in time to see Misty bolt, a timely catch of her collar by Brock preventing her from running flat-out into the woods.

Why she had bolted was quickly evident by the black blot holding a purple fuzzball.

"I told you it would be funny," Darkrai said, looking at the Venonat he was carefully holding in his claws.

"Veno-nat," the Venonat said, before allowing itself to be dropped to the ground. Once there, it ran around everyone, apparently happy with the role it had played.

"Eee, keep that thing away from me!" Misty wailed, hiding behind Brock.

"The Venonat or the Darkrai?" Brock asked, sounding like he was trying not to laugh.

"Take your pick."

"That wasn't very nice," Ash decided to say, addressing Darkrai.

"You say that like it should be news to me," Darkrai responded blithely, using Ash's vest to wipe his claws free of Venonat dander.

Ash rolled his eyes, directed his attention to the Venonat now dancing next to him, shedding little clouds of dust as it did so.

Wait—he was up against a poison gym next…and Poison types couldn't be poisoned…and Venonat were Poison….

"Hey, want to come travelling with us?" Ash asked the Venonat. "It'll be fun!"

"Ash!" Misty cried in protest, leaning around Brock just enough to glare at him.

Too late—the Venonat leaped into Ash's arms, apparently thrilled to death at the idea of travelling. The Pokéball Ash managed to use a few moments later experienced no resistance whatsoever.

And then—

It fizzed, flashed—

And was gone.

Ash stared at his empty hand for a moment.

"The Venonat vaporized," he eked out, trying very hard not to break into hysterics. This was not good—Pokéballs weren't supposed to malfunction!

"It didn't vaporize," Misty said pointedly, coming out from behind Brock now that the bug was gone. "Trainers have a carry limit of six—the Pokéball just teleported to your sponsor. It's safe and far away at Professor Oak's lab."

"Oh," Ash said, still staring at his empty hand.

"Pika pi," Pikachu said, sitting on Ash's head and similarly staring.

"What he said," Darkrai said, pointing.

"Don't worry about it," Brock said, already heading down the trail. "I've heard about the Storage System—run by this guy, Bill, outside of Cerulean. Best computer expert in Kanto—the Venonat's fine."

Ash stared after Brock as Misty followed, slowly turned to look at Darkrai, who was looking over his own shoulder with a chagrined look before shooing Ash down the trail.

"Remember what I said," Darkrai said. "Just walk away, pretend it never happened, and don't speak of it again."

"So why is that thing still following us?" Misty asked, looking over her shoulder as they approached.

"Now that's not very nice," Darkrai said, before sliding a very pointed glance at Ash. "It's just a trainer."

"I'm pretty sure she was talking about you," Ash said.

"Nonsense! She was definitely talking about you."

"I was talking about you," Misty said, stopping to point in Darkrai's face. "We were doing perfectly fine until you showed up."

The way Darkrai's eyes half-closed—like he was deciding whether or not Misty would be worth the entertainment factor necessary to answer her. And then very deliberately (and carefully, Ash noted) pinching Misty's finger between two of his large and decidedly dangerous and wicked-sharp claws before pulling her hand away from his face and looming up—Ash noticed the light dimmed, like a cloud had scudded across the sun.

"Don't. Test. Me," Darkrai hissed. "The only reason you're still upright is because I currently find you mildly amusing. That can change."

And with that, the lighting went back to normal and Darkrai was floating around and away from a stunned Misty, humming to himself and knocking his claws together.

"And where do I fit on the amusing you spectrum?" Brock asked as Darkrai drifted past.

"You cook," Darkrai declared. "Therefore, you have some staying value."

Brock looked mildly amused at the statement.

Misty, however, was giving Ash such a look—if looks could kill, Ash would be dead right now.

This was not going to be fun, Ash decided. Not for a long while.

Ash's first order of business upon getting to the Pokémon Center in Fuchsia City was to call Professor Oak's lab and make sure the Venonat made it there.

One of his assistants answered instead.

"Professor Oak hasn't made it back yet from Port Vista," the assistant said. "Something about studying the effects of human habitation on a Poké-ecosystem there. But I can definitely check that for you. Ash Ketchum, right?"

"Right," Ash said, agreeing to be put on hold.

As he waited, he heavily considered what he was going to do about the Fuchsia City gym. Ninjas and Poison—how to counter that?

Well, Patches definitely—Poison didn't affect Poison, and he had Dig at his disposal. Vee too, maybe, because if they could get him to learn Refresh….Probably ought to practice that before tackling the gym. After that…maybe Pikachu, because of his electric attacks. Frenzy could power through anything, definitely. Lenny due to sheer size and power, despite not having much range in attacks yet—needed to work on that. And Charmander could probably set any poison attacks on fire….

He checked his Pokédex—but Venonat learned Psychic attacks, and Psychic was strong against Poison, and Venonat wouldn't be affected by Poison….

When the assistant came back to the phone, it was to find Ash with his head against the desk, nursing a headache.

"Are you okay?" the assistant asked.

"Just—decisions," Ash muttered, rubbing his face before picking up the receiver again. "Is Venonat okay?"

"Oh yes, the Venonat is just fine—we have it in a holding pen for observation right now awaiting a checkup. Have to deal with all the Pokémon Gary has been sending this way."

"Gary Oak?"

"Yes—he's up to twenty Pokémon now. We're going to have to get him another shelf soon."

Ash tried very hard not to be incensed at this. Quantity didn't matter, he reminded himself, quality did.

"Okay, so long as Venonat's fine," Ash said, hoping he sounded natural. "I gotta think about whether I'm swapping out for it yet, but so long as it's fine, I'm good."

"All right," the assistant said. "I look forward to the next Pokémon you send us."

"Sure!" Ash said, dropping his chipper attitude as soon as he hung up. "Sure…."

"Did you know Gary has twenty Pokémon already?"

"No," Darkrai said simply, sunning himself—inanely, with one of those metal folding things like on the TV. And sunglasses to boot. "Because the daily activities of annoying children doesn't interest me."

"Me neither," Brock said, stirring lunch. "But he's going to tell us anyway, so you might as well suffer with the rest of us."

"And if that's the case, why are you here?" Misty asked, glaring up from the tourist book she had picked up in Port Vista.

"He's got twenty Pokémon and is working on his fifth badge," Ash continued, pointing off the way he had come. "Meanwhile, I have seven Pokémon and three badges. How am I supposed to beat him at this rate?"

"Isn't Gary the guy you beat on the S.S. Anne?" Misty asked, sitting at the picnic table and flipping through the tourist book.

"One battle doesn't count—how am I going to be a Pokémon master if he's so ahead of me? I'll never live it down if he gets there first!"

"There is that added joy of knocking him down once he's reached his final goal," Brock pointed out.

"This is very true," Darkrai agreed.

Misty glowered at Darkrai before looking back at Ash. "Why is that thing hanging around again?"

"Because he cooks?" Darkrai guessed, giving Brock an appraising look over his sunglasses.

"Pretty sure she's still talking about you," Brock said, adding something to the pot.

"To be fair, we're not someplace with high foot traffic," Ash pointed out—indeed, the little picnic spot was in a little glen with no view aside from woods, which was probably why it was neglected. "What's your problem with him, anyway?"

"The fact that he's a floating Gary Oak?"

"I resent that remark," Darkrai said, glaring at her.

Ash waved them both off and ran on to his next big problem. "And then—and then what about Venonat? Who do I swap out? I still have to train it—and then what if the guy has Fire types? It's a ninja gym—they probably have Vulpix and Ninetails in there!"

"What do Vulpix and Ninetails have to do with ninjas?" Misty asked.

"Naruto," Brock said. Upon noting the looks he was receiving: "A couple of my younger brothers watch it."

"How many siblings do you even have?" Darkrai asked.

"Ash, stop panicking," Misty said, waving her hand at Brock and Darkrai in dismissal. "I'm sure you'll do fine. I mean, you beat me, and with a Magikarp, of all things. Now you have a Gyarados, a creepy bug, an Eevee, a Nidorino, a Charmander, and a Pikachu that knows Iron Tail and Volt Tackle. What, exactly, are you so worried about?"

"It does sound a little kooky when you put it that way," Ash agreed.

"You know, if we're going with the ninja thing, they might have Ekans for the snake guy," Darkrai said, now officially sunk into a conversation with Brock.

"They are Poison," Brock agreed.

"And Slugma and Gastrodon for the slug girl."

"Yeah, but I think they might stick with Kantoan Pokémon for official gym battles."

Ash and Misty stared for a moment.

"I was thinking," Ash said, turning to Misty.

"I thought I smelled something burning," Darkrai said.

"No wait, that's me," Brock said, quickly taking the food off the fire.

"I'm thinking there's like this secret Darkrai society," Ash continued, ignoring them. "Like, Darkrai hiding as humans. And I think maybe Brock's one. What do you think?"

Misty gave him a don't be stupid look before looking over at Brock and Darkrai.

The two in question were watching them before finally exchanging glances and looking each other over.

"I don't know," Darkrai said. "Should we tell them?"

"Nah," Brock said, going back to fixing lunch. "Let them be in suspense for a while."

Ash pointed at them and looked at Misty.

"I'm pretty sure that's just them having fun at your expense," Misty said. "And Brock, stop encouraging it."

"We should really get you around some better influences," Darkrai said, floating over to Ash with claws clasped together. "Seeing as how she insists on referring to you as an 'it.'"

"I'm pretty sure she's talking about you," Ash said.

"I am," Misty said.

"Nonsense. People the world over stand in awe at my presence," Darkrai insisted, waving a clawed paw.

"Pika pika!" Pikachu called over from where he was loitering with the other Pokémon.

"No comments from the peanut gallery!"

"Squirtle squirt," Misty's Squirtle put in.

"Before you continue, I'll have you know you'd make a very nice Squirtle soup."

Squirtle gulped before ducking into his shell, leaving it spinning for a few moments before it hit the ground.

"You," Misty said, standing and pointing at Darkrai. "Stop threatening my Pokémon."

"Make me," Darkrai sneered.

Misty considered that before looking to her Pokémon. "Staryu, use Swift!" she commanded, jabbing a finger at Darkrai.

Staryu jumped to attention—and in the few seconds that took, Ash was aware of the fact that Darkrai was no longer in front of him; instead he was behind him with claws digging into his shoulders.

"Go ahead, shoot the hostage," Darkrai ordered over Ash's shoulder.

Ash had been around Darkrai long enough to know that he was joking around—the comment was from some action show they had watched a while back—but the reaction it got from the rest of the Pokémon was immediate and volatile.

"Oop—gotta go," Darkrai said, quickly abandoning him—why became clear as roughly a dozen and a half Pokémon blew by him in hot pursuit of Darkrai.

Ash blinked as the dust settled. "That was…what was that?"

"Good question," Brock said, forgoing watching the pursuant Pokémon in favor of giving Ash a look he couldn't decipher. "What was that?"

"That was what I asked."

"The pertinent question is why was Darkrai using you as a shield, you ninny," Misty hissed.

"Oh. He does that. He doesn't mean it."

"You—are you insane!? No wonder you don't expect your Pokémon to protect you! That is not how Pokémon operate!"

"Darkrai is…a little different."

"No. Frenzy is a little different," Misty said, pointing at the Paras that had not joined the others in hot pursuit; Frenzy was still sitting placidly where Ash had let him out. "That was…I don't know what that was. Murderous, maybe."

"Darkrai is not murderous," Ash argued—

Which, of course, was the perfect time for some of the Pokémon to run by, chased by Darkrai—fur smoking from a few attacks—bellowing "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" at the top of his lungs.

"Much," Ash amended, after the rest of the Pokémon ran by. "And besides, if he wanted me dead, then why did he help on the S.S. Anne?"

Misty shivered a little at the mention of the doomed ship. "We would have figured it out ourselves—I don't see how that was any help."

"Well, let's see, he got me and Brock over that flaming pit and blew the hole in the ship when we needed it."

"Which we could have accomplished with Bulbasaur and some of our other Pokémon," Misty countered. "That thing is nothing but trouble."

"She knows me so well," Darkrai said, suddenly floating down behind her, claws clasped under his chin. Misty yelped and practically ran over the picnic table, prompting a dark chuckle from Darkrai until Pokémon calls sounded. "Oop—gotta run."

And then he was gone again, the rest of the Pokémon chasing after him. Except for Frenzy. Frenzy stayed where he was released, somehow avoiding being trampled without moving.

"We need to talk," Ash said to the bug. "Not that I'm not grateful you listen to me, but you've really got to start having some independent thought."

Frenzy just looked at him.

"Go out and play?" Ash tried.

Frenzy blinked, looked about, didn't move. Ash had the feeling he had finally given the Paras an order he didn't understand.

"Obviously, we need to work with you," Ash declared.

"You both have issues," Misty said, hands on her hips.

"Which reminds me: Fuchsia Gym, Venonat—what do I do?"

"I'm all for any course of action that does not have you with another bug in the party. Now can we deal with the task at hand?"

"Wasn't that the task at hand?"

"I mean that!" Misty said, pointing. Ash turned in time to see Darkrai skid to a halt, warming up an attack to use against the rest of the Pokémon.

"I got it," Ash said, already moving and planting himself between Darkrai and the rest of the Pokémon.

The effect was immediate: all activity instantly skidded to a screeching halt.

The scolding he received on all sides was immediate too.

"ARE YOU CRAZY!?" was the general response, although Darkrai punctuated his next scolding with his standard blow-to-the-head-between-words treatment.

"I-can-take-care-of-myself-you-MORON-you-don't-jump-in-front-of-attacks—"

"See?" Ash asked, trying to dodge the blows and shield his head. "He cares."

"I can tell," Misty said drily.

"Pika pika!" Pikachu yelled, pointing at Darkrai. Darkrai ceased his pounding—which Pikachu took as the cue to shock Ash silly.

"What he said," Darkrai said, pointing.

"Gyara gya," Lenny noised, leaning over with concern as Ash fell over.

"Nonsense—it proves a point."

"What point?" Brock asked.

"That the kid is an idiot."

"He is not," Misty said, before pointing at Lenny. "And whatever you said, stop it."

"Oh, he said that injuring Ash seems counterintuitive, seeing as how they were all chasing me for using him as a shield. But seeing as how you said to stop that, and seeing as how all tame Pokémon listen to trainers…thank you, that means I can get back to doing this."

And with that, he hauled Ash upright and returned to punctuating his scolding with konks to the head.

"You-idiot-do-you-lack-all-self-preservation-instincts—"

"I feel so loved," Ash said drily.