Mother Anne


Buffy stared at the empty pillow sadly, thinking of how uncomfortable Spike must be. A couple of nights ago, Spike became adamant that she monitor him at all times. And when she was unavailable he insisted that he be chained down in the cellar like a prisoner, an unwelcome prisoner that everyone wished to forget lived there. She had spent the entire day drilling information out of Giles. Eventually Giles had come up with a plan that was ready to be put into action.

Buffy spotted Anna as she got into the living room; she was attempting to talk to an auburn-haired Potential but she backed away at her attempts, leaving Anna alone. As Buffy made eye contact, hurt and unwanted feelings swam through Anna's eyes, and Buffy found herself beckoning Anna down with her to the cellar. A horrible thought went through Buffy, and she pondered if her behaviour had ever made Spike feel that way, she sincerely hoped his arrogant attitude had prevented that.

It was a sad sight seeing Spike chained by his wrists, barely able to move around. The poor quality bed looked ready to give away. Seeing Giles and Xander there, she knew she would be unable to have a private moment with him.

"Right, let's get this over with. What you gonna do? Some hypno-beam? A disarming spell?"

Buffy grimaced; she could tell by Spike's tone that he was already agitated, and obviously uncomfortable. Giles stepped forward, emotionless.

"Not exactly. The First has brainwashed you. There's something in your subconscious that it's using to provoke a violent reaction, so... We're going to put this into your brain."

While he said this, Giles opened the small, jewellery sized box he had been holding, to reveal an oddly shaped, copper-coloured stone. Spike's reaction was instantaneous.

"Bugger that!"

And Buffy for one couldn't blame him. As much as she tried not to, she couldn't help but be sceptical of the stone Giles held. How an earth was that going to do anything other than cause intense neurological pain?



"The Prokaryote stone will move within your mind to reveal the root of the trigger's power. It can unleash ideas, images, and memories. Hopefully, once you understand what it is that's setting you off, you can break its hold on you."

Dawn, who to Spike's delight, had been frowning heavily at Giles ever since he had revealed the Prokaryote Stone, now frowned even deeper.

"Hopefully? So it might not work?"

If Giles noticed the slight confrontational tone in her voice he ignored it, as he replied neutrally.

"The stone is just a catalyst for the process; the rest is up to Spike."

Then it was Spike's turn to be confrontational, but he was less subtle about it.

"And how do you expect to get that hunk of rubble into my cranium?"

Giles threw Spike a cold look, and called for Willow, who approached somewhat anxiously. She gave a Giles tentative smile, and cast a sympathetic look at Spike.

"I just hope my pronunciation is in the ballpark."

She said jokingly, only Giles smiled at her weak attempt at humour. The tension worsened as the stone turned to a molten liquid as Willow muttered incoherently.

"Oh, you have got to be joking? What now?"

Spike asked in utter disbelief, though he looked as if he was dreading the answer. Giles on the other hand, looked extremely comfortable bordering on content to answer Spike's particular question.

"It has to access the cerebral cortex via the optic nerve."

"Oh bollocks!"

Spike cried in outrage, as Giles advanced holding the molten slug shaped Prokaryote.

"All the rubbish people keep sticking into my head, it's a wonder there's any room for my brain."

"I don't think it takes up that much space, do you?"

Giles finally replied, dryly as he placed the molten onto Spike's cheek, and watched in grim satisfaction as it slithered upwards. Spike noticeably tensed, and he clenched his fists as it began to approach his eye. Buffy grimaced as the molten stone finally entered Spike's closest eye, and for a moment Spike's beautiful azure was completely covered by silver. She could see how much the procedure was bothering Spike as he sucked in his cheeks and his knuckles turned bone-white. The stone finally moved further up his eye, Spike had a small lump in his forehead, till...

"OW! OW! OW!"

"SPIKE!"

Buffy rushed over, as Spike rubbed his head with his knuckle; she sat beside him and placed her hand comfortingly on his arm.

"Spike listen to me."

Spike nodded, and replied with strain.

"Yeah."

"You all right?"

Spike nodded and lifted his head wearily.

"How am I supposed to know if this bug-ugly's doing its job..."

Spike's voice trailed off, and he completely froze. He was like a statue; Buffy called his name but she got no response. His eyes were glassy and unseeing. It was then Buffy could truly believe he was a member of the un-dead.



A strong hand suddenly latched around her neck, and Buffy struggled as Spike vamped out and began to snarl in her face.

"S-Spike! You don't want to do this!"

Spike just snarled at her, and threw her by the neck across the room. It seemed to the gang that Spike had completely freaked out, he picked up his bed and launched it at Dawn, and despite Anna pushing Dawn out of the way, her forehead was still cut open. Everyone watched paralyzed as Spike continued to snarl at them viciously, until he let out a groan of pain, clutched his head and the Prokaryote stone slid back out his eye, and landed hard on the floor.

Spike looked at them drowsily, but morphed back to human form. He slowly slid to the floor. At Giles' insistence; Buffy shortened the chains and Spike was manacled so that he would be unable to rise from the floor.

"Get these sodding things of me! I'm fine!"

Buffy folded her arms.

"Shouldn't you take a little time? Calm down?"

Spike growled and clenched his fists.

"I am calm."

Buffy looked away, one eyebrow cocked in amusement.

"This stone of yours is out right? Did its job, so I'm de-triggered yeah?"

Spike persisted, this time to Giles, who began to pace.

"Spike, what do you remember about the song?"

Spike gave him a bored uninterested look.

"Oh yeah, the song. It's called 'Early one morning'. Old folk ditty."

" What does it mean to you?"

Xander spoke up, for the first time since they had entered the basement. Spike gave him a withering look for his question.

"Mean? Nothing. It's just... my mum. It was her favourite; she used to sing it to me...when I was baby."

"And?"

Giles persisted, giving Spike a sharp look.

"No 'and'- that's it."

Giles raised a hand, and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Spike, listen to me. What is it about your mother?"

A warning look went through Spike's eyes, and Buffy feared that they were testing Spike's endurance and patience too much.

"I don't know. I got along with her fine; she was a nice lady."

" There has to be more than that!"

Giles almost shouted, finally snapping; which in turn caused Spike to snap, loudly and fiercely.

"WELL THERE BLOODY WELL ISN'T!"

Buffy sighed and began to approach Spike, when Giles took her by the arm.

"What are you doing?"

Buffy sighed again, long-sufferingly.

"I'm going to unchain him."

"Buffy-"

"This is pointless Giles! He doesn't know anything! Your Prophylactic stone didn't work."

" Because he's not cooperating!"

Giles hissed at her through gritted teeth.

"It takes time. He's blocking whatever's in his subconscious and while he does, he's endangering us all."

Dawn hastily cut in, determined to know for sure whether or not the whole thing had been a complete waste of time and energy.

"So the trigger's still working."

Giles glared at Spike before answering.

"Much as ever."

His glare crossed a line with Buffy and, feeling put out on Spike's behalf; she wrenched her arm away and headed towards Spike, who looked at her gratefully.

"Think about what you're doing."



Giles remarked tiredly. Buffy turned round, equally tired and determined.

"I have."

Then she turned back to Spike and unchained him. She gave him a hand up and led him towards the stairs. Spike paused as he finally saw the cut on Dawn's forehead. A memory flashed through him, and his eyes flashed sincerely at her.

"Sorry Niblet, bit of a health hazard."

Dawn waved his apology away, smiling at him.

"Need excitement in life, you're dead otherwise."

Spike smiled at her, but his guilt was still evident.

"All the same Niblet, you should-"

" I'll check it out!"

Willow cheerfully cut in. Spike nodded curtly, but not unfriendly at her. At a small tug of Buffy's hand which, he smirked bemusedly, he was still holding he began to walk up the steps.

"Buffy-"

Giles called out.

"Don't."

Buffy gently ran her fingers through Spike hair. He was tense, she could sense it. She made soothing circles in his scalp, and Spike melted in her touch, and even started purring until he realized what he was doing and forced himself to stop. Buffy pouted in disappointment, evidently he thought she would consider his purring 

animalistic, but Buffy found she loved the sound, and the way he vibrated against her.

"What is it Spike? You're all tense."

Spike sighed, and the mood instantly became somber.

"If I tell you, you got to promise me that this won't leave these four walls. And I'm talking about these four walls of this room, not the whole bleeding house!"

Buffy remained silent for a moment, her agreement could certainly have ramifications, but then as she sensed Spike start to retreat back into himself, she gave her promise.

"All right then. Before I was turned I... God I don't even know where to begin. I was a completely different man. You wouldn't have seen me in a fight for anything. I preferred making things of beauty. There was this girl; well vengeance demon as it turns out, but I didn't know that then, Cecily."

"My birthday last year...Anya's friend, she called you William..."

"Yeah...Well, I'd fallen for her deeply Buffy. I found myself dedicating hours to making poems about her. In the memory I saw, the one Rupes' stone made me see, I was reading one to my mother.-"

"Tell it to me..."

Buffy whispered, for some reason the idea that William the Bloody had been a poet was a major turn-on for Buffy. It gave his already developed and dimensional character, an extra dimension.

"It's awful Buffy, people used to always ridicule it. It hurt then and it'll-"

"Please..."

Buffy persisted softly, her heart turning warm and mushy, as she felt that Spike was once again baring his soul to her.

"Yet her smell, it doth linger,



Painting pictures in my mind.

Her eyes, bowls of honey, Angel's harps, her laugh.

O lark, grant a sign,If crook'd be Cupid's shaft.

Hark, the Lark, her name hath spake.

'Cecily' it discharges. From twixt, it's wee beak."

Spike recited as fluidly as if he were reading it from paper. As soon as he finished he immediately tensed, evidently waiting for her to jeer, to ridicule as everyone else had.

"It's beautiful. Spike, it's beautiful! You've got a real gift."

Spike snorted, but his relaxation told her much more than words of the effect which her words had caused him.

"Just what my mother said... She was ill, had TB. I spent most of – no all my human life, looking after her. I loved her more than... she was my world. That didn't change when Dru turned me. In fact, apart from this new strength coursing through me, oh and the murderous thoughts concerning those who had had a real joke on my behalf, and all though I had lost my soul, I know you're not going to believe this Buffy but... I was still William... I was still me!

I didn't feel any different. Anyway, I took Dru home, she first thought I had intended for my mum to be a snack of some sort. Should have seen her face when I told her I wanted to sire her-"

"But how! Spike how-"

Spike wrenched himself away from her, the disgust he heard in her voice, made his blood boil.

"HOW? I WANTED HER TO BE WELL ALL RIGHT! I FELT THIS STRENGTH! THIS REAL PHYSICAL STRENGTH AND I WANTED THAT FOR HER! To stop her being so frail, to cure her of the terrible disease that plagued her... I wanted to give her a better life... I did it for her."

Spike said, his voice breaking and barely above a whisper. Buffy felt shame fill her and she grasped his hand.

"I'm sorry Spike."

Spike shrugged, and sat stiffly back down the bed beside her.

"What happened Spike? What happened after you turned her?"

Spike swallowed,

"I remember when she came back into the room. Her blonde curls that had grown dull and were always pinned away, fell down her shoulders in elegant twirls. I remember telling her that she was glowing. The healthy flush she had long since lost, had finally returned to her. I had returned it to her! She told me that she had me to thank for that. I remember telling her that seeing her like that was payment enough. She smiled and told me I was tender. I thought everything was going to be perfect. Just for once in my entire existence I thought everything was going to be ok. It was as it should be, me and my mother together... The whole of London lay out before us! It was only when I asked what her pleasure was to be that things began to change."

Pain steadily crept into Spike's voice, and Buffy found herself feeling worried about Spike. His eyes had grown haunted.

"Her pleasure…her pleasure she told me was take her leave off me, asked me if I honestly thought she could bear an eternity of listening to my twaddle. I was too thrown to be hurt at that, I was in shock; I could only listen as she continued. Telling me how she used to hate being cruel, but now found it quite freeing, I couldn't understand."

Spike shuddered; Buffy squeezed his hand again, and was concerned to hear his breathing was shallow and quick.

"She told me nothing other than cruelty would ever pry my greedy little fingers off her apron strings. I begged for her to stop, this wasn't my mother... We'd always... She didn't listen to me; she described my birth, as a parasite slithering from her body."

Tears silently slid, unchecked, down his face.

"S-She told me, had she known better she could have saved herself a lifetime of tedium and just... just dashed my brains out when she first saw me."

" But why? I don't- You're a vampire! Why did you let her continue? Why did you even care?"

" Because she was my mother, and I loved her! She had always been my world!"

"That was all when you were human, everything should have changed when you became a vampire. Like with your mother, you should have lost all ability to love! You shouldn't have cared less about her! And if she was upsetting you should have ripped her throat out! You were soulless Spike."

" You think I don't know that? I know I lost my soul but I still loved my mother... Never stopped."

Buffy looked at him.

" William never left did he? Not really..."

Spike scoffed at her.

"What William was still in the 'parasite' and the 'thing'? 'The 'evil, soulless, disgusting thing'? Yeah right."

Buffy winced as his words cut at her like knives.

"Please... please don't... I hate myself enough without you reminding me of what I said to you."

Spike sighed and decided to continue.

"She tried coming onto me. Told me that all I'd ever wanted was to be back inside... She tried to kiss me! I was horrified. I told her, like I told you, all I ever wanted to make her well, but she was a monster, and when she attacked me... I staked her."

Tears flooded down his face then.

"You were right Buffy, what kind of son was I? She told me I was a sentimental fool, a parasite and it's not like she was wrong. What if I sent her to hell?"

Spike broke off and turned away from Buffy, curling into a ball.



"Spike... Spike please, when you staked her, when the stake went through her heart, how did she look at you?"

Spike looked at her but Buffy could tell he was deep in thought, his eyes glassy in remembrance.

"She smiled. A proud smile, like I had done something to be proud of..."

"Spike, your love, for Cecily, for your mother...for me…I don't think the love in William's soul ever left you. You're an enigma of vampires Spike, that's why you still loved your-"

"My mother."

A tone of realization crept into his voice and he looked at her.

"When I sired her, I let loose a demon... And it tore into me, tore deep... But it was the demon speaking…not her. She loved me, I was her world."

An odd laugh of relief worked its way up Spike's throat.

"That has plagued me for centuries Buffy, weighed down on me like... But now it's over. You helped me see, see the truth of the matter. I won't ever forget it."

Hey! Sorry for the long wait! I hope you like this version of the episode, it's just I've always felt that it was something Buffy and Spike should have shared, mothers were their common ground.

Anyway, eagerly awaiting your reviews!!

Lisi the slayer