Author's Note; Hey there...Fancy meeting you here. So yeah, I've been trying to write this for like a week straight on two different laptops since mine is still flucking broke. Yeah, I said flucking. xD ANYWAY...I'm not sure if I like this one. Also, I don't usually do songfics. But as I was writing the beginning of this chapter, the song "Animal I have Become" by Three days grace was playing and I felt it fit Jane's mood. I know this chapter probably isn't that good, but things are kinda hectic right now. On a side note, I might have a couple of oneshots in mind to do while I take a breather from this angst to gather my muse. So the anon who issued me a prompt, be on the look out. c: The other oneshots will probably have something to do with a forewheeler, and...shit I forgot the other one. D: Oh well, it'll come to me again. One more thing, I'd again like to thank Maura-the-bore-a on tumblr for sending me chapter 14 again. You are a lifesaver. Idk how many times I've said that but it's true. Alright, longest AN ever. Enough of my yammering...READ ON. WAIT. One more thing...I didn't read through this so any errors are mine. I'll probably go back and fix them later...NOW READ ON. xD
Disclaimer: Really?
Chapter Fifteen
As Jane pulled away from the warehouse, her hands held the steering wheel like a vice grip. Jaw flexing in barely contained rage, Jane turned up her radio to block out the horrible images of Maura she had conjured up whilst talking to Paddy Doyle. The radio blared and the current song playing somehow fit her boiling rage.
I can't escape this hell.
So many times I've tried.
But I'm still caged inside.
Somebody get me through
This nightmare. I can't
Control myself.
The hand that she had rammed into her car door pulsed angrily as she continued to grip the steering wheel until she was white knuckled. She had what seemed to be a deadly look in her eyes, dark and hard, filled with anger; anger that was directed at both herself and anyone who was involved in Maura's assault. She was angry at herself for letting this happen.
So what if you can see the
Darkest side of me. No one
Will ever change this animal
I have become. Help me believe
It's not the real me, somebody
Help me tame this animal.
Jane really did not feel like going to her apartment to deal with her mother and the inevitable onslaught of questions she knew that were coming. She was sure that with all the pent up rage she was feeling right now, that she might explode; explode at her mother, who definitely didn't deserve that. Her heart thudded against her chest as she contemplated what to do. She couldn't go back to Maura like this either.
I can't escape myself.
So many times I've lied.
But there's still rage inside.
Somebody get me through this
Nightmare. I can't control
Myself.
By the time the song came to an end, Jane had calmed down considerably; just in time too, as she pulled up to her own apartment building. She sighed as she pulled into a parking space and killed the engine, rubbing tiredly at her face before slowly getting out of the car and locking it. She made her way tiredly up the stairs, opting to avoid the elevator, needing more time to herself.
The door swung open before Jane had a chance to dig out her keys, startled by the hug she was suddenly pulled into. "Jesus, Ma! You scared the crap out of me." Jane grumbled, now awkwardly hugging the elder Rizzoli.
Angela hugged a little tighter. "Oh, I'm sorry honey." She said as she finally released her daughter. "How's Maura? What happened? Janie, I've been worried sick about the two of you, and you haven't returned any of my phone calls!" Angela rambled on, hands waving around.
Jane closed her eyes and took a deep breath, hands coming up to massage her temples. "Ma-" She was cut off as Angela suddenly grabbed her swollen hand.
"What happened to your hand!" The elder Rizzoli cried, attempting to gently run her fingers over it only to have Jane snatch her hand back and cradle it.
Scowling, Jane looked down at her injured hand before she looked back up at Angela who was looking at her expectantly. "Nothing happened…" She groused, flexing it slowly and wincing.
"Whatever, at least put some ice on it. I swear…" Her mother went off to the kitchen, mumbling something about Jane needing a safer job. She returned moments later with an ice pack from Jane's freezer, wrapped up in a rag so it wouldn't be too cold.
Jane took the proffered item and gingerly set it on her hand, hissing through her teeth and wincing. "Thanks." She finally mumbled, closing her eyes a moment and taking a slow breath to keep calm.
"Are you going to tell me what's going on, why you told me come and stay here and take care of Jo?" Angela pressed on, hands on her hips and an expectant eyebrow raised.
Sighing, Jane opened her eyes and continued to cradle her swollen hand. She was silent, as if gathering her thoughts before she finally opened her mouth to speak. "Maura…Maura was-" Her jaw flexed and suddenly she felt her earlier rage return.
Angela let her arms drop as her tone softened and the expectant look on her face changed to one of worry and concern. "Janie, is Maura okay? Please talk to me." She pleaded, taking a step toward Jane and placing a hand on her arm.
Jane's anger and rage deflated and suddenly she felt the familiar sting of tears. She blinked them back and took a shuddery breath, shaking her head. Immediately, she was pulled into a gentle hug; Jane's resolve broke. "M-Maura was-she was raped and-beaten and I could have-" Her mother shushed her and rubbed her back gently.
"Shhh, baby. It'll be okay. What Maura has been through is terrible but, she has you to help her pull through it. And don't you dare tell me it was your fault. That's just ridiculous, Jane." The elder Rizzoli said softly, kissing her daughter's cheek.
Jane fought off her tears, still trying to be strong. She would cry on her own time when no one was there to watch or fuss over her, but for now she would allow her mother to witness this small moment of weakness; she would allow herself this small moment of weakness, this comfort. Finally she pulled back and offered a weak, barely there smile to her mother. "Thanks Ma. I should probably get back to Maura's. I left her there with a friend of mines' dog because she refused to have a detail outside her place…And she wasn't all that thrilled at the idea of being alone." Jane said as she glanced down at her feet.
Angela nodded. "Of course, Janie. You'll keep me updated and let me know if you girls need something." She raised a brow, it wasn't really a question even though it was posed as one. Jane WAS going to call her and Angela WAS going to do something for the two women.
Jane rolled her eyes good naturedly but nodded. "Yeah, Ma. I will…" She started to walk toward her bedroom but turned at the last minute as she said, "Thanks." She felt a little better after a good hug from her mother, though she was loath to ever admit it.
The older woman simply smiled and nodded before Jane turned back around and continued toward her bedroom. She packed more clothes and other necessities that she'd need and before she knew it, she was kissing her mother and Jo goodbye.
Just as Jane began to put her things in the car, her cell rang. She pulled it from her back pocket and looked at the caller ID. It was Maura. A moment of panic fluttered through her before she tried to push it down in the 3 seconds it took for her to answer the phone.
The utter horror and fear she felt the first time Maura was kidnapped, was back. Maura was in danger again. After hanging up, Jane quickly made a phone call to Korsak, all the while pulling out of her apartment complex and taking off with as much speed as Boston traffic would allow.
He barely got in the word hello before Jane was barking out orders at him.
"Someone's at Maura's! Get down there and hurry!" She was about to hang up, not giving Korsak a chance to ask for details when at the last moment she said, "And call detectives Vega and Jakes!" She half yelled in a panic before snapping the phone shut and throwing it in the passenger seat.
Her heart was ringing in her ears and thudding like a steel drum against her chest. She couldn't seem to think straight. All she could focus on was getting to Maura, she barely registered anything else around her; her mind thinking up worst possible scenarios.
Finally, after what seemed like hours(When in reality it was only 10 minutes with the blue lights on and Jane speeding), she pulled up into Maura's driveway with the sound of sirens in the distance. Quickly, Jane got out of the car, already reaching for her gun.
She took in the busted down door and allowed her highly trained eyes to move to the ground where a puddle of blood had gathered. Her heart sank into her stomach but forced herself not panic…well, she was already panicking, so she forced herself not to assume that this was or was not Maura's blood.
The drops of blood and bloody paw prints following it, lead Jane to believe it wasn't Maura's blood. God did she hope that. She swallowed thickly and continued inside, gun leading the way. There were more bloody paw prints smeared across Maura's hall floor.
She checked all the other rooms before finally moving to Maura's. "Maura?" Her voice was hoarse as she spoke and she swallowed hard in hopes of clearing it. "Maura, answer me." She said sternly, now holstering her gun and knocking on the locked door. She could briefly hear the shorter woman's sobs as they got closer.
The door opened and suddenly Jane was nearly knocked to the floor as a trembling Maura crashed into her chest. Jane felt the pressuring fear and panic she had felt earlier, slowly ease as she snaked her arms around the ME and buried her face in honey blonde locks.
Maura sobbed, her grip on Jane tightening as she heard the sirens and distant voices outside, and then suddenly there was the sound of nails clacking against hard floors. Maura pulled back from Jane and peaked around her to see a bloody looking dog standing in the hallway.
Ladybug stood with her right paw raised awkwardly, blood staining her maw and smearing down her once snow white chest. Her tongue lolled out of her mouth as she panted, crimson red surrounding her teeth and gums.
"Jane!" Maura finally spoke for the first time since Jane had arrived. Jane turned them both around, still refusing to let go of Maura, only to see Ladybug standing there, tail swaying softly. Jane smiled, thanking God for Ladybug. "Jane, she looks hurt." Maura mumbled through tears, bringing a hand to wipe them away.
Jane kissed the top of Maura's head and internally sighed a sigh of relief. Maura was okay. Ladybug had saved her. "She's gonna be okay, Maur." Jane said, surprised at how steady her voice was. Finally, Korsak and Frost entered, guns drawn, followed by Vega and Jakes.
At the sight of new people, Ladybug immediately limped toward Jane and Maura, standing in front of them in what would have been a protective stance had her paw not been lifted awkwardly.
The four detectives stared before Korsak holstered his gun, the other three following suit. "What happened? Is everyone okay?" The senior detective asked, eyes shifting between Jane and Maura. Detectives Vega and Jakes moved further into the house, waiting expectantly for one of the two woman to answer.
Jane finally released Maura from her hold and turned slightly to look at her. Maura glanced between the detectives, including Jane before nodding jerkily. "Yes, I-I think so." She said shakily, wiping away stray tears. Glancing down at an exhausted Ladybug, Maura bit her lip. "I probably wouldn't be had it not been for Ladybug." She said softly as she moved toward the dog who turned slightly at the sound of her name.
Maura knelt down to pet the dog but before she could, Jane quickly grabbed her hand. "No, wait Maur. She's got blood all over her…" At Maura's 'and your point is?' look, Jane further explained. "One of the O'Rourke Brothers' blood no doubt. If he's hurt bad enough you might be able to find him." She said, gesturing toward the door.
Korsak and Frost looked bewildered and shocked at the mention of O'Rourke, or at least the name. "Tommy had kids?" Frost asked. Korsak nodded silently, turning to give Jane a questioning look. His eyes saying something along the lines of, how in the hell did you come up with this new information?
Suddenly, realization dawned on Maura. "J-Jane how did you-I should have-" She shook her head, thoughts jumbled. "You're saying I shouldn't touch her lest I contaminate evidence…" She finally said. Jane nodded solemnly, an apologetic look forming on her face.
"I've already got Unis canvassing and searching, got some canine units coming too. Might be able to pick up a scent." Vega said, as she hung up her cell phone. Maura hadn't even noticed she'd been on it. Vega then turned and said something to Jakes. Maura watched him nod and turn to leave. The SVU detective then turned her eyes to Jane.
"Wanna tell me how you found out this little tidbit of information?" She asked, finely sculpted eyebrow raised as intense feline like eyes stared pointedly at her.
Jane ran a shaky hand through her hair and heaved a tired sigh. "Anonymous tip." She stated in a tone that told Vega that was all she was getting. "Test the blood, you'll see I'm right." Jane then said, nodding toward the blood on the ground and then to Ladybug.
Vega sighed and then nodded as she moved aside to let crime scene techs through. Korsak and Frost had long since stepped outside.
Maura just stood there motionless, her gaze wide and fearful as everything suddenly hit her. Her chest tightened and her stomach churned. The memories flooded back and suddenly the room was closing in on her. She felt like the air was being forced from her chest and she couldn't get enough no matter how much she tried to suck in.
She couldn't breathe. Black dots swam into her view and she tried in vane to blink them away as panic unfurled in her stomach and set off a bomb. I'm having an Anxiety attack. Heart palpitations, perspiration- "Maura?" her name was garbled sounding and she wasn't sure who had called it; she felt like she was underwater, struggling to break through the surface. Her lungs screamed for mercy as her breath came out in short bursts. She was hyperventilating. And then she was swaying, sight practically gone now, ears ringing with her own heartbeat.
"J-Jane-I-I-" It was all she got out before unconsciousness claimed her. Almost light lightning, Jane moved before Maura could hit the floor. She stumbled with the weight of the honey haired woman, arms wrapping hooking under her armpits as she gently lowered her to the ground.
"Can I get some help, here?" Jane asked in a panicked voice, looking over at Vega who was already yelling for an EMT.
"Maura? Maura can you hear me?"