Chapter Twenty-Two: Stark Shenanigans

Robb's Point of View

I am taking my little brothers out to dinner. Mom is not home and I have no idea where Dad is, so it falls to me to take them out. Sansa and Arya are at rehearsal until five so I don't have to worry about them.

I dress Torrhen and put him in his carrier as I shove diapers and everything I need into his diaper bag. I give Grey Wind a scratch on the head. He barks. I toss him a doggy snack.

Downstairs Bran is being assisted into his coat by Jon. I smile when Jon steps up to hug me. Its been a little over a month since I saw him. He is wearing a beard now. The dark fur on his face makes him look a bit wolfish.

"Where's Rickon?"

Rickon comes in riding on the back of Shaggydog. I lift him off with one hand and he tries swinging punches at me. I hold him away from me as he kicks and tries to bite.

Lately Rickon has been trying to convince us he is becoming a wolf so he acts like one. He bit the mailman three days ago and yesterday he peed on Meera's mom.

"Not fair. You're arms are long. Meanie," says Rickon. He manages to kick me in he hip.

"Ow. Do you want dinner or not?"

"I want raw meat," growls Rickon. When he barks it encourages Shaggydog, Nymeria and Summer to bark. Lady just stares at them like she is better than them.

"How about pizza, little man?" Jon asks.

"I am no man, I am a wolf." And then he howls. I have a good mind to pop him in the head. Jon helps me load the kids in the truck. I strap Tor in the middle while Jon wrestles to get Rickon to sit down and buckle up.

Once Tor is buckled in I lift Bran out of his wheel chair and put him in he truck. He clings to me still afraid I might drop him. Unlikely he weighs as much as a sack of dog food.

I fold up Bran's chair and gently put it in the back of my truck. Jon climbs in the passenger seat. I sigh and strap in. I look at my brother. It has been a long time since Jon rode with me. Its usually Loras or Meera in my passenger seat.

We go to a pizza place that has an arcade. Its a hassle to hang on to Rickon so he doesn't run off. I should put a lesh on him and a muzzle and whack him with a newspaper. The second Jon puts him on the ground Rickon makes a mad dash to the door. Jon chases after him.

I get Bran out before Torrhen. I carefully help Bran into his chair. He is not the problem. He never runs around much even when he had functional legs. Jon catches Rickon as I get Tor.

"Starting to regret parenthood?" Jon asks.

"Bring it on."

Jon grins. He takes Rickon by the hand as Bran rolls himself into the pizza place. Some dumb jerk refuses to hold the door open. He lets it slam into Bran. I should punch that creep.

"Bran, are you okay?" I ask.

"Yes."

He would say yes even if he wasn't. We get a table. I ask for a child seat with a seat belt for Rickon. I want to strap him into it. He makes a scene on purpose.

"Listen, kid, if you keep acting like this I am going to make you pay me a quarter."

That shuts Rickon up. Dad decided its time to give Rickon an allowance. So last week he gave him his first quarter. Rickon acted like he was king of the house.

"You aren't getting any of my quarters."

"Then you better behave."

"Yeah, dad used to make us pay him everytime we acted up," says Jon. When Jon and I were little we got spanked if we were bad. I never relished the idea of spanking my son or my brothers.

"Is that true?" Rickon asks Bran.

"I wouldn't know I was good," says Bran.

A waiter finally comes to take our order. We order a large pizza for the table. The waiter takes our drink orders. I order milk for Rickon, in a cup with a lid. He wants soda but he is not getting caffeine. The lid is so he doesn't pour it on the table.

"Bran gets soda."

"Bran isn't seven."

Jon and I converse about women. Bran pipes in about Lyanna Mormont. His ears and cheeks get a bit pinkish at the mention of her name. Jon and I make it our duty to tease and embarrass him. I am just glad he doesn't have a crush on Meera anymore.

"Girls are stupid," says Rickon, "the only girl I like is Mommy."

"I don't admire your taste," says Jon. If he were anyone but my brother I would be offended by his remark, but I know his history with my mother so I understand.

"What about Sansa and Arya?" Bran asks.

"Sansa is stupid. She always smells funny and she doesn't like monster trucks. Arya made me eat mud."

I want to burst out laughing, but I bite my tongue to act like I take my little brother seriously. When I turn to check on Tor I grin. Tor needs to be changed. I leave Jon with the boys while I take Tor to the bathroom with the diaper bag.

Tor makes an appreciative baby noise when I remove the stinky diaper. I tickle his belly and watch him smile. I melt when he smiles and my eyes swell with tears. I wipe my eyes when another man comes in.

"You know, Tor, if you turn out like Rickon I am sending you to boarding school."

He whines. It breaks my heart so I quickly tell him I was joking. I kiss him a few times and he grins.

"Thats my boy."

I return to the table where Jon is trying to get Rickon to stop howling like a wolf. I hold up two fingers. Rickon stops.

"When I get to three your quarter is mine."

The waiter brings our pizza. Rickon refuses to eat unless he can have soda. When I say no he says he won't eat unless he can play in the arcade.

"You won't be playing in the arcade until you eat."

Rickon glares at me. He gives up and grabs a slice of pizza. When he is finished he looks defeated. I get out my sack of quarters.

"May I play please," Rickon asks.

"Yes you may. Here are your quarters. Now thats all you get so don't blow them on one game." Rickon and Bran go to the arcade. It leaves me to talk with Jon while I feed Tor.

"Your baby is so cute. Is he your brother?" A strange woman asks.

"No. He's my son."

She looks appalled. I don't care what she thinks. I love my son.

"May I feed him?" Jon asks.

I hand Torrhen over to his Uncle Jon. Jon seems nervous, but he figures it out. It warms my heart to see them bond. I look around for Rickon and Bran. Bran is talking to a cute girl and Rickon is climbing the ski ball machine.

"Rickon, quarter. Now!"

He climbs down and looks sad. He comes to give me his beloved quarter. I slide it in my pocket. That is going back to dad. I grab my little brother's shirt when I see him pouting.

"Pout all you want you aren't getting it back. Go play. If you misbehave I will tell Dad."

"Fuck you," says Rickon. He punches me and tries to flee, but I grab him. I stand up to show superiority. He cowers.

"Sit. Ten minutes. Facing the wall."

Rickon makes a "humphf" sound and stomps toward the seat I pointed to. He folds his arms and stares at the wall. I set a timer on my phone.

"Wow," says Jon.

"I can't believe he said that to me."

Jon stops feeding Tor, buts keeps holding him. We sit and talk. I make sure Rickon is still facing the wall. Bran is showing the cute girl how good at ski ball he is.

"So how are we getting Renly and Loras back together?" Jon asks.

I roll my eyes.

"Why do we have to talk about them. Can't we just talk like we used to without bringing your new family into this?"

"You're jealous?"

"Of course I am. You were my brother first. Loras has everything he could ever want, and I could care less, until he took something of mine."

"I'm sorry."

I fight hard to keep from crying. Jon is the only person in he universe I am comfortable crying in front of. I lose the fight and tears come to me. They turn to sobs.

"You're being selfish."

"Is that so bad?"

"Yes. Robb, I had to leave. You saw what I went through."

"I wanted you to get better, but I didn't want you to leave."

"I had to."

"I know. Knowing doesn't make it hurt less."

Jon pats my hand.

"You're acting like Rickon."

I stop crying. I wipe my eyes and let Rickon out of time out with a warning. He goes back to playing. I can't look Jon in the eyes without feeling ashamed.

"It physically hurts, Jon."

"I know. It hurts me too, every day."

"I always get so mad when I hear you call Loras your brother."

"Don't blame Loras."

"I don't. I blame my mother."

"I blame your mother too. But I also thank her. Being away from there has helped me heal. Yes it took me away from those I love, but I am happier and healthy."

Jon shows me his wrist. The old cuts have turned to scars. But its clear he hasn't cut himself in ages. I feel like an ass.

"I'm sorry I was selfish."

"Its fine. If you want the truth, I get mad knowing Loras gets to play the part of your brother and I don't."

"We seem to have reached an impasse."

We both laugh. Even Tor smiles. Jon laughs because his nephew smiles. I check on the boys. Rickon is playing a game quietly while Bran is sulking because the girl has moved on to another boy.

"About Loras and Renly?"

"Well, I don't trust this Martell any further than I can kick him, but if he makes Loras happy then so beit."

"He was happier with Renly."

"I know. I blame Renly."

An evil smile appears on Jon's face. I raise an eye brow. He has a plan. I look at Torrhen with his tiny hand gripping Jon, and over at Bran and Rickon then I lean forward.

"Tell me."

"We make Loras and Renly fall back in love."

I sit back. I thought my brother had a good idea. Well that was less exciting than I hoped.

"Seriously, that is your plan."

"Robb, you're missing the point."

"Puh, I think you're the one who missed the point. The point is a dot to you."

Jon smirks. He hands my son back to me.

"Enlighten me, oh smart one."

"Bite me. I think we need to pull them further apart."

"How will that help?"

"They will realize they were better off with their true love. Renly and Loras are meant to be."

"Why, Robb, I didn't know you cared?"

"Jon, you wound me, my heart is made of gold."

We burst out laughing.

"That actually isn't a stupid plan."

"I am the smart one."

"Yes, but I'm better looking."

"Has living with the roses given you a big head?"

"Only where it counts."

Jon winks. I grin. I miss this. I miss Jon. I miss my partner in crime. I miss terrorizing our sisters together.

"So where do we start?"

"With Loras," I suggest.

"I trust you."

"Sirs, is this little boy with you?" A girl in the pizza place asks. She has Rickon by the collar of his shirt. Bran comes over.

"What did he do?"

"He bit seven children and claimed he was a wolf."

Damn it.

"He is our little brother."

"I am going to have to call your mother."

Damn.

"Sit," I tell Rickon. He hands over the rest of his quarters. He refuses to look at me. I don't care if he is mad. I am mad too. My mom is going to think I can't control Rickon. If I can't control my brother how can I raise a child? My confidence as a dad has shattered.

Its drawing near five. I will need to pick up my sisters soon. I hope Mom gets here soon. Jon does not look excited to see my mother. I don't blame him.

Mom is angry when she arrives. She takes it out on me and Jon. Blah, blah, Rickon doesn't know better, blah blah blah I am more mature, blah. She lectures me for ten mintues. I am surprised Tor can sleep through it. I envy him.

"And you, Lord Jon, what right do you have holding my grandchild?"

"He is my nephew."

"You are a disgrace. You are NOT part of this family."

My hand makes contact with my mother's face. Bran and Rickon look startled. My Gods, what have I done? Mother have mercy. My mother rubs her cheek where my palm slapped her.

She doesn't say a word to me. She takes the boys and leaves without looking at me. I hit my mother...

I sink low in my seat and bury my face in my hands. I tug at my hair. I hit my mother.

"I hit my mother." That time I said it out loud.

"We all saw."

"I am a terrible person."

"No you're not."

"I hit my mother."

She deserves it.

I don't think she'll be able to forgive me for that. I wouldn't be surprised if she was asking my dad to disown me right now. I hit my mother.