Unpardonable Malice

Spike's laugh was shaking and painful to hear. It reminded Buffy of her own hysterical laugh when she had overheard Angel and Giles discussing the prophecy concerning her death so many years ago.

"Had to... Had to save me? Had to have a warrior?"

Spike's voice was a tortured whisper, and the hurt shone through his eyes, which glistened with tears.

"Spike, please I can explain-"

Spike shook his head. He approached her slowly, and gently caressed her cheek.

"I've been stupid-"

"No, Spike-"

"Please, just listen... I was stupid to think that you could ever have done something like that for me. I should have known you just wanted something."

Spike's soft voice somehow was unbearable, and Giles and Xander deeply wished he'd start shouting, and get pissed off. That was easy to deal with; Buffy would kick his sorry ass and problem solved. Hurt Spike was unpredictable, and all the more dangerous for it.

"I do want something, I want you Spike."

Spike laughed again, but it was harsh, he released her face, his calm, but ultimately heart-wrenchingly hurt eyes were now blazing with fury.

"No what you want luv is a warrior! After everything we've been through! I gave you my heart, body and my bloody soul! And for what? So you can get your own bloody warrior!"

Buffy looked at Spike earnestly.

"That's not true!"

"You already said it! 'I needed him, I need another warrior!' "

"I can't fight them alone!"

Spike growled, and grasping her by the arms, they both smashed into the opposite wall.

"YOU USED ME- AGAIN! Now you wanted a soddin' warrior, well congratulations you got one! But that's all I am; your own personal warrior, but I'm nothing else, nothing more."

"Please, because we've avoided each other so well in the past!"

"This ain't the same Slayer! I'm not avoiding you, you got a battle coming up – I'm there, you got a battle plan to discuss- I'm there! But you want a heart to heart; you want someone to cuddle up to... Then you're on your own."

A look of dread passed through Buffy's eyes.

"Yeah that's right Slayer, me and Anna we're moving out – Tonight!"

All the fight went out of Buffy, and she looked for the entire world like the injured party. Spike gave her a hard look, but as a tear rolled down his face, the look dissolved and he just looked heartbroken. When he spoke, his voice was soft again.

"I gave you everything Buffy, I gave you me... everything I was, am, I gave to you... If you only wanted my body, I'd have gratefully given it you, but you took all of me. You let me open up and trust you, let me spill my heart and soul, when all the while all you were interested in just keeping me for a warrior and I won't ever forgive you for that, no matter how long I continue to love you."

Buffy looked at him stunned speechless, her eyes began to sparkle with reigned in tears, but Spike had turned his attention to Dawn and Willow.

"Please Nibblet, no tears for me."

Dawn only cried harder, and flung herself into his open arms.

"I'll miss you... Spike please, take me with you!"

Spike swallowed the lump in his throat.

"You're welcome any time Nibblet, you and Red both. My crypt's always open to you."

Spike looked up to Willow, whose eyes were tearing up.

"You've been true friends; I don't have many of those."

Willow let out a small, strangled sob and joined Dawn in Spike's arms.

"I can't believe you're leaving!"

Willow squeaked, her green eyes bloodshot.

"I don't have a choice Red..."

"No! Don't you dare Spike! You leave then that is YOUR choice! Don't you dare pin it on me!"

Spike went to open his mouth to retort at Buffy, but it was unnecessary.

"You really are that stupid aren't you? It's ALL YOUR FAULT! How can he possibly stay after you've used him like this! I can't believe you! We talked about this! You freaking ran after him and I actually believed you'd come through! You ruin everything! Your relationship with him when you came back ruined me and him! And now you've done it again!"

Buffy stood there stunned, till Dawn left Spike and stood before her.

"I hate you, I REALLY hate you!"

Dawn practically screamed at her, before slapping her sister across the face and charging up the stairs, slamming her bedroom door shut. A tear rolled down Buffy's face, and Spike, despite everything, felt a painful twinge in his heart.

"ANNA! HURRY THE HELL UP! WE'RE LEAVING!"

That forced Buffy into action, she ran to Spike and grabbed his arms in a vice grip.

"No please, please don't!"

"Get off me!"

Spike snarled, pushing her away.

"I don't want to see you; I don't want to hear from you. If you need me then you send Willow or Dawn, but I don't ever want to see you coming to my crypt."

Anna came to his side, dragging along a small suitcase.

"So long Slayer,"

Spike whispered, before he threw the door open, and with Anna at his side, disappeared into the night.

Hey! Sorry for the wait, but hopefully the length goes some way to making up for it! Lol! Anyway eager to hear your reviews and I'll update as soon as I can!

Regards

Lisi the slayer