Seeing You

Dawn's look said it all. She knew everything. The full picture of abuse that Buffy had subjected Spike to, until the horrifying bathroom incident. She had to know, nothing else would warrant the hatred and revulsion that covered Dawn's face as she stood there, literally shaking, before Buffy.

"I wish I could say I'm glad he left you. You don't deserve him or his love! But I can't! I can't because he fell apart in my arms and it's all because of you!"

"I didn't... I wasn't the one who left-"

"You betrayed him! Buffy I think you've well and truly broken him this time!"

The words washed over Buffy like icy water. Instinctively, her eyes looked towards the kitchen, where she met Willow's gaze, and Willow stared back at her coldly.

"I can't judge you Buffy; I've done things that haunt me, things I can barely believe I'm capable of, but I did all that because I lost the only person I've ever truly loved. What can you say motivated you to do those things to Spike?"

Buffy looked at Willow angrily, her fists clenched at her sides.

"What do you think held me from him? You saw the reaction I got when I saved his life! Giles and Xander! A few years back you would have been no different! My constant judge and jury!"

"So it was us then? The great Slayer, maybe one of the greatest ever! The woman who killed the vampire she loved to save the world! Who sacrificed herself to save the planet can't take on a librarian! Dawn was right, you don't deserve him."

Buffy flinched as if struck.

"I may be the Slayer Willow, but I'm also human, cut me and I'll bleed. I knew you hated Angel, and I was afraid that if I admitted my feelings for Spike, that I...I was scared that I'd be alone."

Buffy's eyes glistened with tears.

"Alone like Faith, just the Slayer."

Willow's gaze softened at Buffy's distraught expression.

"You stuck by me when I tried to end the world. You welcomed me back. I'll always be there for you, you're my best friend Buffy! But you have to take control of your own life! How many times in a lifetime do you think someone who loves you like Spike comes along?"

Tears fell quickly down Buffy's face.

"I've lost him Will, I've lost him!"

"No you haven't."

Dawn quietly interrupted.

"No all you've achieved is to further prove to him how worthless he is to you. He still loves you, and as much as you shouldn't get his forgiveness I want him to be happy, and without you that doesn't seem possible."

*******

Faith applied her red lipstick.

"You look smokin' Luv,"

A British voice drawled behind her, Faith smirked and turned around.

"Oh I'll show you smoking..."

*******

Buffy hugged her bedcovers, memories of their relationship flashing before her. She could hear his song in her head, 'I died so many years ago..." she could hear him as if he were singing right beside her. So much had happened between them, there had been hurt, pain, lust, craving and hunger on both sides. Was it just too much? Despite best intentions was there just too much to wade through to come out the other side? Spike's face swam before her mind's eye and she suddenly she knew the answer to that.
She kicked off her bedcovers and hurriedly changed. Willow was right she was a warrior! A fighter! If she wanted something she fought for it! And Spike was sure as hell worth fighting for! He'd be the best fight of her life!

*******

Spike chugged down his last can of beer, Anna had yet to return from her nightly activities and not even his beloved 'Passions' could wipe away the image of Buffy's flushed face from his head. There was a sudden knock at the door and his hairs stood up on end as he was put on edge, an edge not helped when as he opened the door, his blue eyes met the sultry brown ones of Faith.

"You're not welcome here"

"Aren't you going to let me in? Dangerous area here Sweetie, some little nasty might bite me"

Spike looked at her annoyed.

"Like that wouldn't you."

Faith shrugged unapologetically, and slipped past Spike and into his crypt.

"Heart wants what the heart wants"

Spike smiled darkly at that, and closing the door rounded on her.

"Why you here? We're not on the same side Faith."

"I want to help you"

Faith's eyes were glittering with sincerity, Spike snorted and laughed a rich laugh.

"Help me? I see the little old First told you all about my little spat with Buffy! Here to be my shoulder to cry on? BOLLOCKS! Buffy and I are finished, it doesn't mean I want to hand The First her and Niblet on a platter!"

Faith shook her head in pity.

"I told you she was usin' you. Told you B only saw you as a Warrior. I tried to warn you! Now you know and you're still defendin' her!"

"Well I guess she's got me well trained"

Spike muttered bitterly, looking down at his feet.

"I love you."

Spike sighed and lifted his head to look at her; his face was acutely pained.

" I can't help you Faith, I'm sorry but I can't."

Faith sighed, but then abruptly threw her coat off, exposing her black top and long neckline.

"Stop it Faith!"

Spike growled out, his eyes flashing as they were drawn to the beautiful red gem that hung from her neck, hovering above her pert pale breasts.

"Get. Out. Now!"

Spike ground out, his whole body tight and rigid.

"No! You don't mean that-"

Spike snorted and turned away from her.

" I don't love you."

"Say that to my face."

Spike immediately spun around, his eyes blazing with determination and fire.

"I don't lo-no no... Faith please just go!"

Faith moved closer, slowly.

"I know you're scared. You've been hurt, again and again and I understand, but this will be different. So different"

Spike shook his head as Faith stopped right before him, her rich brown eyes pinning down his mind, body and soul, his eyes filled with terror.

"Faith please-"

"I love you. I know it scares you but I do. I love the spark of life you've got."

She brought a hand to face and caressed his cheek,

"You're on a constant buzz! You're amazing! You're electric! You take on the world, and you can bring it crashin' to its knees..."

Faith lunged forward and captured Spike's lips, hungrily kissing him and she felt almost dizzy from pleasure when she felt Spike respond in earnest. She heard the door to Spike's crypt door squeak open and a heard a horrified gasp. It could only be one person. If she hadn't been snogging the undead life out of Spike Faith would have smirked. Perfect.

Hope you like where this story is going, please review and I'll and update as soon as I can

Regards

Lisi the slayer