Author's Note: A slightly shorter chapter than usual, but I think you all will be relatively pleased with it despite that it's a little emotional. I hope you guys enjoy. There's probably only 3 or 4 chapters left. (x

Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah

Chapter Twenty-Four

There was a silent agreement at the end of the night that Jane would come home with Maura. So after saying goodbye to Olivia and Abi, Jane and Maura sat quietly in the car on the way back to Maura's. Jane watched as the streetlights passed her by, lost in her thoughts, Olivia's words replaying in her mind like a broken record.

Try looking at what could go right.

Don't decide when it's too late.

Would you be able to handle it when she met someone that wasn't you?

She's not gonna be here forever, Jane.

Don't listen to your gut… Listen to your heart.

"Jane," The detective was jarred from her thoughts as she heard her name. She shook her head to clear her thoughts before she looked over at Maura.

"Hmmm?" Jane asked quietly, watching Maura as she never took her eyes off the road.

Maura was silent for a moment, and Jane could see even by the honey blonde's profile that she was thinking deeply. Finally, Maura spoke. "What'd you mean-earlier at the robber I mean." They stopped for a light, but Maura kept her eyes ahead of her.

Jane swallowed thickly and rubbed her scars. "W-what uhh, what're you talking about, Maur?" She asked, feigning obliviousness. Jane knew full well what Maura was talking about, and Maura knew she knew. It was evident when Maura finally tore her gaze from the road to give Jane a look.

The detective could feel Maura's eyes burning a hole into the side of her face and she wondered briefly if Maura could see her cheeks flushing in the low lights of the streetlamps. "Jane-"

"Light's green…" Jane cut her off, her voice raspier than usual as she tried to buy herself some time. She needed an explanation. She needed-and then suddenly Olivia's voice echoed in her mind again.

Listen to your heart….not your gut.

Damn Olivia! Jane's eyes shut tight as she let out a shaky breath. She fought the natural urge to hide away, her fight or flight instinct. "Maura, I want you to remember, that you asked this. You asked me this question… You asked what I meant. Do you want me to lie to you, or do you want the truth?" Jane finally opened her eyes and looked over at Maura who was taking quick glances at her, concern etched on her face.

"Jane, I-" She paused, swallowing hard and glancing at her. The car came to a stop as she pulled into her driveway. Maura cut off the engine but made no move to get out of the car. She turned her head to look at Jane with a confused look. "I of course want you to be honest with me." She finally finished.

Jane nodded curtly, glancing down at her fidgeting hands. "Before I say anything, I just want you to know, that you're my best friend; you mean everything to me, ya know? I just-I'm still the same Jane, okay? Don't forget that." Jane's voice was thick, quiet.

Maura reached over and covered Jane's hands with her own, causing the nervous detective to stiffen, her head finally lifting to meet Maura's. "Jane, you're scaring me, what's wrong?" Maura asked, a hint of fear in her eyes.

Jane gave a nervous laugh. "Nothing's wrong-I mean, I don't know if it's wrong, really. I mean-" She took a breath. "I'm not gonna beat around the bush, here…but… Maura, I'm in love with you." The last few words fell out of her mouth quickly and once they left, there was no going back. Jane waited for a reaction, but the only one she got was Maura pulling her hands away as if she had been burned.

The detective's heart felt like it was in her throat and she swallowed hard as she opened her mouth to speak, "I-I didn't realize it, until… A-after the warehouse. I think you're the most amazing, beautiful person I've ever met. You frustrate me beyond belief sometimes, but Maura… God, Maura, I don't know where I'd be without you. It scares me to think about it.

"When I was lost, in the dark…A-After Hoyt. I closed everyone out, but somehow, you managed to break down my walls. Maura, you were my light. You helped me through the dark, you always help me through the dark. God, Maura you've made me a better person, make me want to be a better person. I have this unyielding need to be near you, to protect you and love you; and I know you can take care of yourself, Maura, but I just-I want to be the person who takes care of you. I've never felt like this about anyone. I mean, I've loved but-but I've never loved like this.

I've always prided myself in never needing anyone, but Maura, I need you. I've never really needed anyone before. I've never wanted to be with someone so much. I always thought that needing meant you were weak, showing emotion made you weak, but you've made me realize it's okay to be weak sometimes, to show emotion, it's okay to not be okay." Through her whole jumbled and mixed up speech, she watched tears spill out of Maura's eyes. She wanted so bad to reach out but she was afraid; afraid Maura would run. She looked like a skittish deer.

And she hadn't realized that she too had started to cry until she felt wetness drop to her hands which rested in her lap, however she barreled on, voice shaking slightly. "I love you, Maura Isles. I love you with everything I have. I don't expect you to love me back, but you asked. You asked, and I was honest. Now I want you to remember, that I'm still the same Jane, I'm still your best friend and it's okay if you don't-if you don't feel the same." Jane finished, finally reaching up to wipe her eyes.

Maura, for her part felt like she had just had the breath knocked out of her. She couldn't believe this was happening. For a long time, Maura had ignored her own growing feelings for Jane, pretended they didn't exist. She buried them so deep, became used to the aching in her heart and settled for what they had, because she thought Jane didn't love her like that, but here was Jane, breaking down all her carefully constructed walls and little white lies to herself, bringing those feelings back up, making them known again.

But the one thing that really kept her love for Jane buried deep, was the fear. The fear that she would lose Jane. Maura needed Jane, maybe more than Jane needed her. She had never had a friend like Jane before, Jane was her rock, her protector; she was her family. Jane had shown her how to take a breath and relax. Jane had given her family, helped her grow as a person. She had always been so used to being alone, but then Jane came along and now she didn't know how to be alone.

She didn't want to be alone. If she and Jane were to actually be in a relationship, and Jane left her, Maura wasn't sure she would be able to handle it. Emotions were still hard to decipher as it was, for her, even with Jane there, but without Jane… Well the thought of that tore her apart inside.

Taking a shuddering breath, Maura searched her brain for a response. "J-Jane-I-I-" The ME wiped at her tears and forced her eyes to Jane's. Her breath caught at the look of adoration and fear in the detective's eyes. "I-I can't!" She finally blurted out, wrenching the door open and practically falling out of the car, leaving her keys and purse. She stumbled forward, not bothering to close the car door behind her. Before she even gained her footing and bolted for the front door, Jane was behind her steadying her.

Maura stiffened at the touch, holding back a sob. "D-don't t-touch me." Maura cried.

Jane immediately let go, the words like a knife in her chest. She felt more tears spring into her eyes and her stomach churned. "M-Maura…" The woman's name left her lips in a pained whisper, causing Maura to turn around and see Jane's arms wrapped around herself as if she would crumble if she let go. The pain on her face caused Maura's heart to lurch.

"I-I didn't mean-" Maura stammered, realizing how her words had sounded. Jane had taken it to mean that Maura was disgusted by her, when in reality she was just trying to see through her emotions and when Jane was touching her, all she could do was focus on Jane's touch and their close proximity.

Jane shook her head, schooling her features. "No, it's okay, Maura. I get it…" she said, wiping away her tears.

Maura shook her head. "Jane-"

"Stop. It's fine, Maura. I understand. You're disgusted with me."

"N-No, Jane-"

"I'll call a cab, you don't have to explain yourself. We-we don't-we don't have to see each other outside of work anymore, we don't…" Jane swallowed thickly, willing the tears back. "We don't have to be friends any longer." Jane said dejectedly. Her heart felt tight in her chest, making it hard to breathe. She turned to walk back to the car to grab her cell phone, but a strangled voice stopped her.

"P-Please…" Maura whispered, her hands coming up to her face.

Jane turned slightly to look at her. "What, Maura, please what?" She rasped.

Maura tried to steady her breaths before she spoke. "Please don't-don't l-leave me, J-Jane." She begged, arms dropping to wrap around herself.

Jane swallowed hard and turned around fully to face Maura. "What is it you want? Make up your damn mind." She didn't mean for it to sound harsh, but that's how the words came out. She watched Maura flinch at her tone. Sighing, Jane ran a hand through her hair. "I'm sorry."

Maura bit her lip hard as she tried to figure out how to get Jane to stay, tried to get the courage to tell Jane that she felt the same but the only thing that came out when she opened her mouth, was: "I'm scared."

Jane's features softened only slightly. "Scared of what, Maur?" She took a tentative step forward, expecting the honey blonde to move away but she didn't.

If it was possible, Maura's face crumpled more as she fought back more tears. "Scared of losing you." She whispered, her eyes dropping to the ground.

That did it. Jane's face softened completely and her heart ached a little less. Maura wasn't disgusted with her. Without anymore hesitance, Jane stepped forward and brought the other woman into her arms. Maura stiffened, but only for a moment before she reciprocated the hug, burying her face in Jane's chest and crying softly.

Jane let her cheek rest against Maura's head as she held her tight. "Shhh, I'm not going anywhere, Maura. No matter what. I wouldn't leave you." Jane whispered, her fingers trailing up and down Maura's back.

Maura pulled back slightly, eyes red rimmed. "Y-You don't-You don't kn…know that." She stammered, breaths short and anxious.

Jane brought a scarred hand up to wipe away Maura's tears as she smiled softly. "I do know it. I wont ever leave you. I'll never stop being your friend, Maura." Jane said resolutely.

Maura stared up at her, gauging her sincerity and finding that Jane wasn't lying. "But what if-" Jane cut her off with a shake of the head and a nod.

"I thought you didn't like sentences that started with that." Jane teased, trying to lighten the mood.

This brought a small smile from the honey blonde, but it quickly faded. "Jane-I can't-I just-I-I need to-" She wanted to say she loved her back, she wanted Jane to give her that smile; the one that was reserved for only Maura.

"It's okay, Maura…" Jane said sadly.

Maura shook her head. "N-No Jane. I-I do love you too." She finally said softly, her heart ramming against her chest.

Jane's face brightened. "Y-You do?"

"I do. So much, Jane, but I-" She took a breath. "I can't-we can't. Jane I can't lose this friendship. I've never been good at relationships and I need you, Jane. I-" She was cut off as Jane kissed her.

At first, her body stiffened but as soon as she felt the way Jane's lips moved languidly against hers, her hands drifted up to the lapels of Jane's jacket, pulling her closer. Jane pressed her body to Maura's, her hands drifting to the ME's hips.

After a few moments of kissing in Maura's front yard at god knows what hour, Maura pulled back abruptly, panting. Jane had a goofy smile on her face, but it immediately fell as she noted the saddened look on Maura's. "I can't, Jane, I just-I can't."