Author's Note: Hi everyone. I hope you had good holidays...whatever ya celebrate and if you don't then...well, I just hope you've been well. (: Uhm, sorry for the update not being a chapter last time. xD But here's the real chapter 26 after some persistent nudging from my girlfriend and you guys. c; I hope it's what you expected. This story will be coming to a close very soon. Within the next couple of chapters. Anyway, I'll stop blabbering. Enjoy~ OH! and as you can see, I did a little tribute to Kate Todd from NCIS. :3 Hehe

Disclaimer: Blah blah blah, I don't own anything

Chapter Twenty-Six

For days, Jane tried to talk to Maura outside of a work context, but Maura would just dismiss her and act as cordial and detached as possible. It scared Jane a little bit and every second filled her with anguish. For her part, Maura was trying to act as if everything was okay but on the inside she was hurting badly. She wanted Jane to see her as she was before. Not only that, but she just wanted Jane.

It was after another day of strained conversation and almost breaking down in her office that Maura decided to call an old friend of hers who she knew worked as a Therapist.

"This is Caitlin Todd." A distracted voice answered after the fourth ring.

Maura was silent for a moment before taking a quiet breath. "Kate? It's—It's Maura," She finally said, pulling the knitted blanket off of her couch from behind her and wrapping it around her body.

"Maura? Maura Isles, my gosh, it's been a long time." The smile was evident in her voice. "What can I do for you? You don't sound very well, are you okay?" She asked in a more gentler voice.

There was a large sigh from Maura's end as she closed her eyes. This would require a lot of explaining. After almost a half hour of Maura talking about what happened to her and what happened between her and Jane, she heard Kate let out a little sigh.

"I'm so sorry to hear about all of this Maura," She said softly. "I know that sorry doesn't really do much for you, but I am." Maura nodded numbly as if Kate could see her, but kept silent as the woman spoke once more. "Now, from what you tell me it seems that your…friend Jane has helped you heal a lot quicker than most do in similar situations; not only physically, but most importantly, mentally. But it seems you've taken one step forward and three steps back."

There was a long pause before Kate continued, her voice even more soft and gentle if it were even possible. "Not only is rape mentally disabling for the victim, but it also affects those closest to the victim and in your case that is Jane. From what you've told me, Maura, I think you should give Jane a chance to explain herself; her feelings. Right now she feels like she doesn't have a right to feel hurt or upset because the actual act happened to you. You know her better than I do, sweet. Do you honestly think that she thinks any less of you right now? Has she shown any sign that this is the case?" Her friend prodded gently.

Maura thought for a moment before she took a shuddery breath. "N-no. I know it's irrational but I just feel so…" She wasn't sure how to verbalize what she was feeling, but luckily she didn't have to.

"I know, Maura." Kate said gently. "You don't feel good enough or like your old self. You don't feel clean, but let me tell you something, sweet. You are not dirty or damaged or any such nonsense. What's happened isn't your fault and it's something that you couldn't stop. You are still Maura Isles, you are no lesser her than you were before. You will heal and there will come a time where you will be able to get up and carry it around with you because you will never forget it.

And as for Jane, I think she was genuinely afraid of hurting you. That's what it seems to me, but Maura you have to let her explain, stop dismissing her like you've been doing." Kate's words had brought tears to Maura's eyes and by the time her friend had finished, she was openly weeping.

Sniffling quietly, Maura sighed. "You're right. I know it'll take time for me to fully realize it, but you are. And perhaps it was good that Jane stopped us from going any further. I should be sure that I'm ready for that." She said with more of a steady voice.

"I think you should call Jane."

The thought of calling Jane made Maura's heart quicken, but she knew Kate was right. "Okay," She took a calming breath and smiled softly. "Thank you, Kate. Thank you so much. I'm sorry to just up and call you out of the blue like this I just—I needed someone to talk to and I didn't know who because Jane is usually the person I talk to, but now I realize it was Jane I should have talked to in the first place."

"Anything for a friend, no matter how long it's been since we last talked. How about let's not keep without it for so long this time. We should do lunch when things settle down, talk about less serious things." Kate said genuinely.

Maura smiled again. "That sounds lovely, Kate. I'll talk to you soon. Thank you again."

"Bye, Maura."

After hanging up with Kate, Maura sighed for what felt like the millionth time that day as she stared down at her phone. When she finally worked up her nerve, she pressed her number 1 speed dial. The phone rang twice before Jane answered.

"Maura? Are you okay?" Jane sounded a little breathless, but the sincere concern in her voice made Maura's body relax slightly.

"I'm…okay. Will you come over, please, Jane? I think we should talk." Maura replied gently, slightly surprised at how steady her voice was.

There was a short pause where Maura could hear rustling. She assumed it was Jane putting on her shoes and attempting to hold the phone between her neck and her shoulder at the same time. She sounded nervous as she replied. "Yeah. Yeah, I'll be there in 20."

True to her word, Jane arrived almost exactly 20 minutes later, knocking softly on Maura's door.

Maura stood, but Ladybug was at the door before she could even blink. Her tail wagged so Maura knew it was Jane before she opened the door.

When she did open the door, it was to Jane fidgeting anxiously. They stared at each other for a moment before a low growl turned whine broke the silence. Both looked down to Ladybug who was looking between them with her ears perked and if dogs had eyebrows, Jane was sure they were raised.

Clearing her throat, Maura stepped aside. "Come in," She motioned with her hand and waited as Jane stepped inside and then turned around as if waiting for Maura's permission to sit somewhere. Closing the door, Maura turned and sighed quietly. "Let's go sit on the couch." She suggested.

Jane obliged, moving into the living room and taking a seat on one end of the couch. Maura followed suite, taking a seat on the opposite side.

"So…" Jane said nervously, eyes on her lap before looking up at Maura. "I've uhm—I've been trying to talk to you for days, Maur." She frowned now, her hands balling into fists at her lap. "But you won't—"

"I know…" Maura cut her off and looked down. Taking a breath, she looked back up at Jane. "I know you have, I've just been…I was afraid, I guess." She admitted quietly.

Jane's features softened and her hands spread out over her jeans. She was itching to touch Maura, comfort her. "Of what?" But before Maura could answer that question, Jane carried on. "Look, Maur, I'm really sorry about…what happened. I don't think you're—"

Again Maura cut her off, a small smile on her face. "I know, Jane. I realize that now. I was being irrational."

Jane scooted a little closer and slowly reached out to clasp Maura's hands, giving her ample time to pull back but she didn't. "You're allowed to be irrational," She said when her hands were on top of Maura's. "I should have handled it more delicately, though but you know me, I'm like bull in a fine china shop." She joked lightly.

It garnered a small smile from Maura who brought her eyes up to Jane's. "You should talk to me about…about how what happened to me makes you feel."

Jane's face changed from soft to something akin to surprise and then she frowned. "What? No. No, you don't need—I don't need to—I'm fine." Even as she said it, it sounded like a lie to her own ears.

"Jane…" Maura said on a sigh. "We both need this. If I'm going to…move on, if you are, then you need to talk to me. We can't just ignore it. It's there, it happened. We can't just laugh it off or joke it off like this was a case you got hurt on. I know that's how you deal but this is—it's more serious and I—" Her voice was starting to crack lightly, tears threatening to fall as Jane cut her off with a scarred hand cupping her cheek.

"Okay, Maura…Just—just calm down, I know." She said gently, her own eyes suspiciously misty. She sighed heavily and looked down at their clasped hand, gathering her thoughts. It was only when Maura squeezed her hand did Jane start to talk, her voice quiet. "I felt…I feel…helpless, like I—I can't protect you and I want to protect you. I feel like it's my fault, I should have been there, Maura. I should have been there to stop it. I could have stopped it." By now, her voice had broken and she was openly crying but her head was bent slightly. "And I feel so…angry. So, angry. At myself at—at them. I could have killed them, Maura." She growled through clenched teeth.

Her breathing had quickened and her chest felt heavy and her heart ached, but when Maura touched her cheek, she felt herself relax and chance a glance at the honey blonde. Maura looked sad and her eyes were glassy but she wasn't crying. "It's not your fault, Jane. I promise it's not." She whispered. "You did everything you could to find me, I know. And you helped me, you've been helping me. You're helping me now." She brushed her thumb over the tear tracks on Jane's cheek before she let her hand drop slowly to her lap.

Jane swallowed thickly and nodded. She knew she couldn't forgive herself just yet, but hearing Maura tell her this, it helped. Her chest felt a little lighter. "Thank you." Jane rasped quietly.

Maura smiled softly and leaned in for a bone crushing hug. "No. Thank you, Jane." She replied. "Thank you for opening up to me, for always being there. Just thank you." She buried her face in Jane's neck and inhaled deeply, letting Jane's scent calm her.

Jane hugged Maura back just as tightly, reveling in her best friend's touch after not having it for days. They could do this, they could get through this. Everything would be okay.