How can I top the Jeff/Annie in the last chapter? THIS CHAPTER!

Now some of you may be wondering "Jenna/bluecinderella4 [I'll let you pick your name preference] the title of this fic is 'He Married a Witch' but they're not married. Is this title and everything I know a lie?"

To this I respond: The title is not a lie, it's just kind of a vague truth. Yes the He will marry the witch, but the title cleverly doesn't say when. If it did the title might be 'He Eventually Married a Witch in Chapter Seven'. Oh wait, it was- I hard to shorten it.

Let's just get back to the chapter before I do something else in a poor attempt to be funny.

Abed parked his car in the hotel parking lot. "I still think broom travel would've been easier, and faster than me driving you."

"Well you drove me to the courthouse," Annie reminded him. "How else were you gonna get home?"

"I could have traveled by broom; I wanna try broomstick surfing."

"Oh?"

"It would've been cool; but Shirley and Britta might've found me. You're right, driving was a better idea."

"Besides…" Annie took a pause, "…I want to get used to car travel."

Abed casually shrugged. "Whatever makes you happy." He didn't say anything for a few seconds until Annie was almost out of the car. "Jeff does love you," he bluntly said. "He just doesn't know it. I can tell, his character is changing a little and experiencing real love for the first time. In most cases a new love interest doesn't last or doesn't work leaving fans unsatisfied. It's different for you guys. You guys will work…I can tell."

"Thank you Abed," Annie gave him a quick peck on the cheek. She watched Abed drive off before heading into the hotel. After a few minutes of wandering around in uncertainty, she approached the front desk. "Who do I speak to about a reservation under the last name Winger?"

The lady at the desk laughed. "Is this your first time in a hotel?" Annie blushed a little. "We do have a reservation under the name Jeff Winger; are you his wife?"

"Oh no, no, not yet…soon, hopefully if all goes well."

"Oh," she noticed the ring that Annie had put on her left ring finger instead of the right and assumed Annie was his fiancée. She did some more typing before handing Annie a key card. "You and Mr. Winger will be staying in room 1019; it's on the third floor."

"What's this?"

"That's right this is your first visit. This is your key card. You swipe it in the little electronic gizmo on the doorknob. You also use the card to get into the hotel restaurant, bar, gym, spa, casino, game room, and indoor swimming pool."

"I have so much power with this little card?" Annie inspected the card with the utmost curiosity. "How strange." The woman gave her a funny look. "Where are the stairs?"

"Wouldn't you rather take the elevator?"

"Elevator?"

The woman was slightly concerned by this point. "On second thought you should probably take the stairs. A few feet away there's a door marked stairs. Take the stairs until you get to a door with a three labeled to the side. Then you just follow the arrows to your room."

"Do I need this little card to get to the stairs?"

"No."

"Oh. Thank you, you've been very helpful."

The woman watched as Annie headed toward the stairs. "Usually these types of girls have blonde hair."

…

Pierce applauded Chang and Dean Pelton as they finished showing Pierce 'The Entire History of Dance'. "Bravo gentlemen! I never get tired of seeing this."

"You've seen it four times now," Chang said as he panted.

"Yes, well I've missed so much with my three hundred twenty year incarceration. There's so much for me to catch up on."

"Read a book!"

"Now Chang, there's no need to be a grump. And there's also no need for you to try and sneak out of here through the vents again."

"I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!"

"And you will once the ladies return. You see, no matter how long they may stay gone- huh, I just did some inadvertent rhyming there- anyway, they always come back to me. They think they have free will. They think they can trap me in this house without my spellbook to help me break the barrier spell. They think."

"Pierce," Pelton began, "I'm beginning to think your friends aren't really your friends."

"What? Of course they are?"

"Then why aren't they back yet? Did ya ever think that they want to discover new things for themselves and be on their own without you?"

"But…but…"

"It seems to me that you need them more than they need you."

Chang raised his hand. "Can I Chang you a question?" Pierce gestured for him to continue. "If you're such an all-powerful warlock, why didn't you just zap them back here?"

"When you're the victim of a barrier spell your magic isn't much use outside of the barrier," Pierce explained. "I can only do magic here until Shirley returns and breaks the spell."

"What if Shirley doesn't return?"

"That's why I have you guys."

"Aww," Pelton placed a hand to his heart, "all you want is companionship."

Chang gestured to Duncan Cat. "He had the stupid, evil, smelly, British Cat!'

"Getting a bit personal aren't we Benjamin?" Duncan Cat quipped back.

"You have no feelings; it's not like I'm hurting anything."

"I slept with your wife."

"SO HAS EVERYONE ELSE!"

"Someone's going to need to take his crazy pills soon."

"Choke on fish and chips!"

"Gentlemen please," Pierce interrupted the feuding, "the two of you fight worse than cats and dogs. This gives me an idea," Pierce pointed at Chang and in a quick flash, Chang was a dog.

Dean Pelton gasped, not at the sight of Chang as a dog so much as what kind of dog Chang now was. "A Changmatian." He let out a squeal and hurried over to Chang. "And he's such a cutie, yes he is. Yes, he is," Changmatian's angry barking was enough to startle the dean.

"Now Chang, I will change you back once you learn to get along with Duncan."

"What about changing me back?" Duncan protested.

"I still want to keep this house. And you've sort of grown on me Duncan Cat." As Pierce went to pet Duncan, Duncan hissed at him before biting him. In response, Pierce conjured up a bucket of ice cold water and poured it all over Duncan. "Bad kitty!"

…

"Annie!" Jeff called to her as he entered the hotel room. "Annie, we need to talk about…" he stopped once he notice the arrangement of one might perceive to be a romantic dinner (complete with a vase of roses in the center of the tray). "Uh…Annie?" He set his things down beside the bed. "Can I eat this now or…what?" He quickly turned around when he heard the sound of another door (the bathroom door) opening.

Annie stepped out of the bathroom in a pink bathrobe and dripping wet hair. "Hello Jeff," she greeted him in a strangely casual manner. Annie walked over to him and gave him a gentle hello kiss. "I was wondering when you were gonna get here?"

"Why did you just do that?"

"Because I wanted to. What, you didn't like it?"

"It took me off guard a bit. Give a guy a warning next time."

"I'm sorry."

"I didn't say I didn't like it but-"

"Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, but-"

"You won't believe how this happened!" When Annie excitedly sat herself on the bed, she bounced. "I pick up this device here…"

"A phone?"

"Phone? I'll have to remember that. Anyway, I pick it up and a strange man's voice says 'room service how may I help you?'. I figured out you're supposed to talk back to the voice through the phone and the man told me what room service does. So I ordered us a romantic, dinner special."

"I noticed."

"He said it would take forty-five minutes. I didn't know what that meant exactly so I assumed I would have to cook the dinner myself. But later, a man with a tray comes in with all this food and tells me it's my order. I didn't have to do anything. I made a comment about hotels being confusing and he helped me understand everything. Hotels are magical, aren't they Jeff?"

"Magical, yeah?" Jeff lifted a dinner lid. "How much did all this cost exactly?"

"A hotel would be a wonderful place to live for people who don't know how to take care of themselves."

"Yeah, but the rent would be expensive."

"I'd live in a hotel if I didn't want to learn to do everything for myself and for you."

"Annie, can we have a little talk?"

"Did I do something wrong?"

Jeff took a seat beside her on the bed. "I go to check in and the lady at the desk says my fiancée has already arrived."

"I thought Slater wasn't your fiancée anymore?"

"She meant you. Did you tell that woman we were engaged?"

"No," Annie replayed the conversation in her head exactly the way it happened. "She asked me if I was your wife and I responded 'oh no, no, not yet…soon, hopefully if all goes well'."

"Those were your exact words?"

Annie made her typical sad face. "Did I ruin everything again Jeff?"

"Ugh, stop making that face!" Jeff tried to look away.

Annie gasped. "What's wrong with my face?"

"That face, that sad face. No one can say no to it! Saying no to that face would be like choking the little mermaid with a bike chain."

"What did the mermaids ever do to you?"

"Look, because of what you said, everyone in the hotel thinks we're going to be married."

"What's wrong with that?"

"Someone might say something and another person might tell somebody important and eventually they're going to find out it's a lie and then everything is virtually over for both of us!"

"Maybe it doesn't have to be a lie."

"What?"

"Why don't you marry me?"

"Oh, I can think of a few reasons why not."

"Do they automatically trump the reasons why?"

"What reasons could there possibly be for us to get married?"

"Well for starters it might be beneficial to the public. If they do find out then we'll actually be married so it won't be a lie. You can make up a love at first sight story and that might help you win the affection of the hopeless romantic people."

"Okay, what's another reason?"

"I have nowhere else to go. I can't go back with Shirley, Britta, or Pierce. And they're friends with Troy and Abed so I can't stay with them either."

"What if your friends find you leaving with me? Shirley and Britta know where I live."

"Then move. Do you even like living in your dead uncle's house?"

"Actually no, I don't. It was like a free house it seemed natural to move in- and I did it as an excuse to move away my creepy neighbor. Of course there's the fact that my uncle actually died in that house..."

"That's...unpleasant."

"Back on topic; are there any other reasons we should get married?"

"I love you."

"Annie, I don't think you even know what love is."

"I know it might seem hard to explain, or even hard to believe, but you have to understand that I do love you Jeff. And I do want to marry you. I've always wanted marry my true love ever since I was little."

"Ew, you actually believe in true love?"

"Jeff!"

"Look, Annie-"

"I'll be a good wife, I promise! I'll learn to do all the things that wives do and I'll do whatever I can to make you happy."

"But I want you to be happy too. It isn't the 1950's Annie. Don't you have career aspirations?"

"I can find a job if I have to, but it's not necessary. Should it matter if we marry and I don't have a career? Wouldn't you prefer if I didn't?"

"If I answer yes would that be sexist?"

"Jeff, if you truly want me to be happy than you'll marry me."

"You're serious about this?" Annie nodded. "Are you going to keep stalking me until I give in?"

"If I have to." Jeff sighed. "Jeff, I love you, I want to marry you, I want you to be happy, and you want me to be happy. Aren't those reasons enough?"

"Believe me when I say you're not gonna be happy Annie. All Winger men have miserable marriages."

"Start a new trend."

"I'll make a terrible husband."

"It won't matter as long as you're my terrible husband."

Jeff noticed her ring on her left finger. He didn't know why, but for some reason it seemed natural for that ring to be there- even though it shouldn't have been. He took a deep breath. "Okay, fine." Annie gasped with delight. "If it'll shut you up, I'll marry you."

"YAY!" Annie wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his with enough force for him to tackle him onto the bed.

Somehow, Jeff managed to get him off of her. "Alright, alright! We'll go after dinner."

"Can we go now?"

"The food'll get cold."

"I'll make sure it doesn't!"

"Fine, whatever. The sooner we get this over and done with the better." He grabbed his jacket and went to the door. "You comin'?"

"You go; I'll meet you in the lobby after I change."

"Yeah that'll take an hour," Jeff grumbled as he closed the door behind him.

Annie smiled to herself as she put a protective bubble over the food. "Just to make sure you stay fresh." She put her finger to the side of her chin in thought. "Am I missing anything else?" She snapped her fingers in realization. "Wardrobe!" When she stepped in the bathroom, she took notice of her messy wet hair. "Oh no, this won't do." With a quick point, Annie altered her hair the way she wanted. "Now for the dress!" When she pointed to herself, it seemed as though nothing happened. But when Annie looked under the robe, she let out a wide grin. "Now I'm ready." She made sure to grab her key card before leaving. As soon as she stepped outside, she then had another thought. "I should probably take care of that too." She opened the bathrobe pocket and pointed until something was waiting inside. "Okay, now I'm really ready." She headed for the stairs.

Jeff stood in front of the elevator playing with his blackberry. Expecting Annie to get off the elevator in about thirty minutes or more, he let out a frightened scream when someone tapped him on his shoulder. "Annie, what the Hell?"

"I'm ready."

"Why didn't you use the elevator?"

"I prefer stairs."

"Please tell me you're not wearing that bathrobe in public?"

"I don't want you to see my dress yet."

"Annie!"

"Jeff! See, I can whine too. Now let's go; you don't want the food to get cold."

"Is it weird that I find it hot when you get formidable with me?"

…

Troy opened the door for Shirley and Britta when they met him back at Jeff's house. "You guys have any luck?" he inquired.

"None," Shirley threw her broom aside. "I don't know whether to be worried or angry. Poor Annie's lost out there and she's probably chasing after a man who's only gonna break her heart. I hate to think of what she could do to herself."

"We really came back for food," Britta interjected. "Are you sure you haven't heard anything?"

"Nothing," Troy responded back. "And Abed's kept his eyes glued to the local TV channels hoping to spot her in a crowd or something. She hasn't even bothered crystal balling us."

"Britta," Shirley's was holding her shaky hands together, "you know what we have to do now. Food will just have to wait."

Britta nodded before turning to Troy. "Try getting a hold of Jeff too; maybe he'll know something."

"Do what you have to do," Troy told her before she and Shirley disappeared.

...

"FREEDOM!" Pierce's voice rang throughout the house as Shirley and Britta reappeared.

"That crafty bastard!" Shirley stomped her foot in anger. "I shoulda realized the second I'd get here he'd escape."

"Uh Shirley…" Britta pointed out the bald man and the Asian looking Dalmatian, "…should we do something about this?"

"Not now! We need to find Pierce."

"But shouldn't we also be looking for Annie?"

"One magic being at a time."

"Let's split up again. You understand Pierce better than any of us so you look for him. I'll look for Annie."

Shirley folded her arms in suspicion. "Why is it that you want to find Annie when it's more important to find Pierce?"

"Ugh, fine! We'll split up and look for Pierce. Happy?" Britta was the first out the door.

"Uhm hmm," at was at this point that Shirley became highly suspicious of Britta.

…

"Ugh, did you really have to wear that robe in public?" Jeff griped as he and Annie walked up the steps of the Riverside City Hall.

Annie moaned. "How many times do I have to explain that I don't want you to see my dress yet?"

"And you didn't have a jacket to cover yourself with?"

"Please show some cooperation Jeff. I'm trying to make this special."

"Yeah, well don't it's just a wedding." He looked at the City Hall registry. "God why is everything important never on the first floor?"

"Ooh look, these stairs don't have a door. I wonder why."

"Who uses the stairs besides you? We're taking the elevator."

"If you insist." Jeff led her to the elevator and pushed the up button. When the elevator started up, Annie screamed and clung to Jeff.

"Have you ever ridden an elevator before?"

"No."

"Ah. Well the first time is always scary but eventually you get used to it." The ding made Annie jump. "It does that when we've reached the destination."

Annie watched with the utmost curiosity as the door automatically opened. "Do the elevator doors always do that?"

"What open and close automatically? Yeah."

"Now what?"

"Now we get off," Jeff took her hand and led her out of the elevator. He let go of her hand once they were out. "See, easy. You just get in, push some buttons, and get off."

"It does seem more faster than stairs."

"And it's easier for the people in wheelchairs."

"They have wheelchairs outside of hospitals?"

"Were you raised Amish or something?"

"I haven't really been out in a long, long time."

"Are you telling me you've spent your entire life indoors?"

"Basically."

"That must have sucked."

"A little; but at least I had someone to keep me company." Annie let out a small laugh. "It's funny."

"What is?"

"I don't think I've ever been truly alone in my entire life."

"I'm learning more and more about you every day Annie Edison."

"Promise me you'll never ever leave me alone."

"I don't know if I can make that promise right now Annie." Jeff went over to the desk. "Yeah, can we get a marriage license?"

The clerk behind the desk pointed to the nearby door. "Through here." Like a gentleman, Jeff held the door open for Annie. "Fifteen dollar fee plus an extra five per witness."

"Here's a twenty," Jeff handed the clerk a twenty dollar bill.

The clerk gave it a thorough inspection before putting it in a lock box. "Alright, follow me," he led them to another door. This time they were in a room that was designed to look like a chapel, but was much more drab and boring. "Wait here, I'll get the paperwork and a witness."

Annie examined her surroundings. "Is this what a real wedding is supposed to be like?"

Jeff scoffed. "A real cheap wedding maybe."

"It doesn't seem like the type of weddings from fairy tales."

"That's because fairy tales aren't real."

"You don't know that."

"Can you take that stupid bathrobe off now?"

"Not until we start."

"Are you even wearing anything under there?"

"Of course I am!"

"Hey, I wouldn't be disappointed either way just so long as you take off that stupid robe."

The clerk returned with a stack of papers and a nervous looking nerd carrying a fake bouquet. "This is my grandson Garrett; he'll be your witness."

"You said you were going to get me my ice cream!" Garrett sort of whined this.

"After this is over!" the clerk stood at a podium at the end of the room. "Come on; let's get this over so Drama King here can get his ice cream."

Annie stopped Jeff before he got up. "Here," she slid her ring off of her finger.

He looked at the ring with some confusion. "Regifting a regift? Nice touch."

"No, slide it on my finger like a wedding band."

"Oh. That makes so much more sense." He stood up. "I'm sorry you don't get the traditional walking down the aisle deal but if you'd like we can walk together to the podium together." He held out his hand.

"I would like that," Annie reached for something in the bathrobe pocket before taking off the robe to reveal an enchantingly captivating white minidress. When Jeff got a look at her, he was stunned speechless. "Why are you staring at me like that? Do I look awful?"

"No," Jeff could not take his eyes off of her, "you look…you look beautiful." Annie blushed a little as she smiled and took his hand. Hand in hand they walked over to the podium. At the podium, a fidgety Garrett nearly thrusted the bouquet at Annie. With some reluctance- and a scared look- she took the fake bouquet from him.

"How do you want to do this?" the clerk questioned. "You just want the 'I dos' and the ring part?"

"Yeah, but keep it short," Jeff answered back.

"Fine. First you gotta sign all this paperwork crap before you sign the marriage license. Moan and groan all you want but this is my job. Garrett, get your fat ass over here and sign some paperwork." A flustered Garrett hurried over to the podium and signed what he needed to sign as a witness. It took about a minute of signing before they were ready to actually begin. "Okay, do you…" the clerk read the name, "Jeffrey Tobias Winger take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do," Jeff's attitude about this didn't seem meaningful. He just wanted it to be over and done with ('so I'm married yeah, great, when's dinner?')

"Jeff," Annie was a bit nervous, "why do you have three names?"

"Tobias is unfortunately my middle name."

"Middle name? Oh, I didn't know people had those."

"You don't have one?"

"I guess not."

"Lucky you."

"So it's not a bad thing?"

"Of course it's not a bad thing."

"But-"

"May I continue please?" the clerk asked. Jeff gestured for him to go on. "Good. Do you…Annie Edison take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do," and she meant it. Jeff couldn't help but stare at her after she said it. They stood there for a moment staring into each other's eyes, Jeff giving her that 'funny' look.

"AHEM!" the clerk got their attention. "Now is where you slide the rings on each other's fingers as a symbol of eternal love and what not."

Annie displayed the band of gold she conjured up for Jeff in her hand. "Annie, you didn't have to-"

Annie pressed her finger to his lips. "It's a gift," she slid the band of gold on his left ring finger. As he was about to do the same, she pulled her hand away. "I'll only wear it as long as you promise you'll never leave me alone."

"Annie…"

"Just promise me that please."

"Alright, I promise."

"Thank you," she held her hand back out so that he could put the ring on her finger.

The clerk displayed one final piece of paper. "By the power vested in me, by the state of Colorado, I now pronounce you two husband and wife. Sign this license and then you may kiss the bride."

Jeff and Annie did so and then shared their first kiss as man and wife. The clerk and Garrett applauded at the loving display of affection.

The kiss continued on for about a minute before the clerk left the podium. "I'll go get your copy ready." As he walked passed them, Garrett started throwing rice. "I thought I told you no rice! Where did you even get that?" Upset, Garrett followed his grandfather out demanding ice cream.

A few moments later, Jeff pulled away. "Wow."

"Wow," Annie breathed back.

"That was…"

"Uh-huh…"

"So, I guess we're married now."

"Looks that way."

"Well, I don't know about you but I could go for some ice cream."

"That sounds wonderful."

Jeff extended his arm. "Milady."

Annie looped her arms with his. "Milord."

I just had to end it with Milady-Milord. There was no other way.

For the record, the desk lady and the clerk are not based off of anyone from the show. I just pictured the woman at the desk as a middle-aged redhead- a post Lucy from I Love Lucy. And for God knows what reason I envisioned the City Hall clerk as Garry Marshall- probably because I just watched the Pinky & the Brain episode where Garry Marshall played Satan (hey, he played Satan in Hocus Pocus too!). Oh, and did you guys catch the October 19th reference?

You obviously weren't going to get the typical wedding, but I do hope this sufficed. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get some ice cream.