Chapter Thirty-Two: Missing and Forgiving

Loras's Point of View

Robb went home. We have school tomorrow and Tor needs to sleep. Margaery is in her room. I am alone. Well, I am not completely alone. Pod is here. For once I am happy he refuses to leave.

I have been crying off and on since I came back fron Renly's. He said such cruel things. Maybe I overreacted. Willas did push him for getting me arrested. That was partly my fault. I made the first move to have sex.

"Do you think I am overreacting?" I ask Pod. He drops a silver tray and avoids eye contact. I get off my bed and walk over to him. I bend over and pick up the tray. I put my hand on Pod's.

"It is not my place to say, my p-p-prince."

"I'm am asking, I expect an answer."

"Yes, my prince."

"So you think I overreacted?"

"Yes, my p-p-prince."

"You're a good friend." I clap him on the shoulder. He gasps. I watch pinkness infiltrate his cheeks.

"Yes, my prince," he says without stuttering.

"Dress me for bed," I command.

He takes my shirt off me and ogles my shirtless form. I snap him out of it. He blushes and finds me a different shirt to sleep in. I take off my own pants. He gives me sweat pants.

"Would you brush my hair?" I ask. Now I am teasing him a little. But it is cheering me up to be pampered and adored.

"You have nice h-h-hair, my p-p-prince."

"You flatter me."

He runs a brush through it until my curls fluff out. I admire myself in the mirror. I take out my contacts and rub my face, I spot a singular brown hair on my chin. I smile. My first facial hair.

"Pod, you must come look," I tell him.

"Something wrong, my prince."

I take his hand.

"I have a hair."

I show him my chin. My face is so close to his I can feel his heavy breathing.

"I'm so excited," I tell Pod hugging him.

"Would you like it plucked, my prince?"

"No. I need to show Renly. Except I am mad at him."

I frown. My excitement disappears. I clutch both my engagement ring and my other ring that Renly gave me. I admire them. I overreacted. Renly loves me. I love him. I am being childish. We need to fight it out then make up.

"You are good company," I tell Pod as I sit on my couch. He puts a blanket over me without being asked.

"I wish to serve, my prince."

"Where do you go to school?"

"I don't, my prince."

"Oh. That's weird. What do you do all day?"

"Wait to serve you, my prince."

I like his devotion.

"Would you fetch my sweet sister?" I ask.

"As it please, my prince."

Pod brings Margaery. I dismiss Pod. He seems sad to leave my side. Aw. I should give him a raise. Margaery hugs me.

"You shouldn't tease him," Margaery says, "he talks about you obsessively to the rest of the staff."

"Aw. That's so cute."

"Loras."

"Okay. I won't tease him. I want to forgive Renly."

"Loras. Did you not hear what he said?"

"He didn't mean it. He loves us. He loves me. We are meant to be. True love, Margaery."

"Alright, we'll forgive him. But he has to earn it."

"That's fair."

I show Margaery the hair on my chin. She hugs me. Pod comes in to see if I need anything. I smile. He steals glances at me when he thinks I am not watching.

"No. Thank you. You may go home."

He does not move.

"Is there anything else?"

"The night is dark and full of terrors."

"What?"

"Its supposed to snow my prince, I cannot get my car out."

I get it he wants to stay. I look at Margaery she is shaking her head. I have plenty of room for him. Margaery and I move to the bed. I offer Pod the couch. He silently accepts.

Margaery crawls under the covers with me.

"Willas wants us to stop sharing a bed," Margaery says.

"That's not happening anytime soon," I tell her.

"When you marry Renly we can't share anymore," says Margaery.

"But we can share until then," I say.

"I love you, Loras."

"I love you too."

We go to sleep. I wake up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. Pod is sound asleep on the couch. I cover him with a blanket. I do my business in the bathroom and go back to bed.

A hand reaches out from under my bed. I scream in terror. Margaery and Pod both jolt awake. Willas and Aegon come running. Joffrey climbs out from under my bed.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I was trying to scare you," says Joffrey laughing.

"It worked."

"Get out," says Margaery.

"Shut up, bitch."

"Get out," says Willas. That time Joffrey listens. Willas looks at Pod on the couch. He shake his head. "What are you doing here?"

"I said he could stay," I say.

"Its too late to deal wih this now. Everyone go back to bed," says Willas.

"Are you okay?" Aegon asks.

"That was so scary," I say.

"Want me to stay?"

"Please."

Pod gives Aegon the couch and he sleeps on the floor at the side of my bed to be near me. I snuggle my sister and nuzzle my face in her hair. I finally drift off into slumber.

In the morning, I hear the shower running. Margaery is not beside me. Aegon is waking up. His silvery hair falling in his face. Podrick is doing his chores.

"I washed and ironed your school uniform, took out your trash and put away your clean laundry. I brought you breakfast."

"Thank you."

Aegon and I sit down at my table. Pod puts plates in front of us and fills them. I grab a fork and taste my breakfast. It came from the mansion kitchens.

"I am going to make your bed," says Pod.

"Thank you."

"I have decided to come home with you for Christmas," says Aegon.

"Great. We leave next week."

"Did you ask Meera if she's going to come?" Aegon asks.

"Yes. She and Robb are coming."

Aegon grins when I mention Robb and Meera are coming. What's that about? When Margaery comes out of the shower I take one. I lock the door to keep Pod out yesterday he was in here. He claimed he was cleaning my toilet.

After my shower I put in my contact lenses and brush my teeth. I open the door. Margaery has gone to her suite to dress for school. Aegon is eating his third biscuit.

I let Pod dress me. When he buttoning my shirt he leans in and kisses me. I move back. His face is red.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing, I-I-I am sorry, my p-p-prince. P-please forgive me."

"You need to leave."

"Please don't fire me, my prince."

"I'm not." But Willas is.

Podrick leaves. I send a girl for Willas. I have a while until I need to be at school. "I can't believe he just did that," I tell Aegon.

"What's up?" Willas asks.

"My serving boy kissed me."

"That's your own damn fault. You knew better than to let him stay over. You led him on."

"How by having him dress me?"

"No. That's normal. You are telling me you didn't hug him, touch him, bat your eyelashes at him, or flash him a smile?"

"I guess I might have."

"Then you fire him."

"I don't want to fire him. Can we give him a warning?"

"You are unbelievable."

Willas leaves. I look at Aegon. He is giving me a look like I messed up somewhere.

"What would you do if I kissed you?" Aegon asks.

Rejoice. Rocket to the moon. Have sex with you on a bed of rose petals.

"Nothing," I say.

"Loras. He crossed a line. You have to fire him."

"No. He needs the job."

"Then he can work for me. You can have my serving boy."

I would rather have Renly. I think about Renly. He hurt me, but I want to forgive him. This is so confusing. Relationships suck. I ask Aegon for advice.

"I think you should forgive him," Aegon says.

"You do?"

"Yes. I have seen the way you look at each other. That's true love. You belong together."

"Thank you, Aegon."

"Have you ever liked someone who was dating someone else?"

"Just Robb, but I didn't have a chance anyway. Why?"

"No reason. Just forget it."

"I have to get to school."

"Could I ride along?"

Renly is waiting outside of Winterfell. He stops me as I go in. I hug him. I know I told him not to seek me out, but I am glad he did. I press my body against him.

"I was talking to Ned about Gendry's tuition for next semester. I miss you."

"I love you. I forgive you. Please love me."

Renly kisses me. Its hard strong kiss. I bite his bottom lip.

"I am so sorry. I didn't mean those words. I want to be your family. I want to be your everything."

"Date. Friday. Your treat."

"I look forward to it."

I kiss him. He leaves. I wait with Aegon for the bell to ring. Meera walks up with Jojen, her short hair grazing her cheeks and a backpack over her shoulder.

"Aegon, hi," says Meera.

"Hi," says Aegon shaking his mane of silvery hair.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted your opinion," Aegon says. I look at him with my head tilted at an angle. What's he doing?

"What opinion?"

"I am thinking of dying my hair blue," Aegon blurts out.

"Seriously?" I ask. He elbows me in the side.

"I think it would be cool," says Meera.

"You do?"

"Yes. It would go great with your earring."

The bell rings. I say bye to Aegon. He says bye to Meera. Why in the world would he dye his hair blue? I am going to have a bruise from where he elbowed me.

Halfway through Tyrion's lecture I get a text from Willas.

Willas: Aegon dyed his hair blue. The other politicians are offended and appalled. Why would he do this?

He actually went through with it. Wow. I have no clue why he would dye his hair blue. I bet he looks good. He could look good in anything.

Me: I don't know. I am not his keeper.

I start taking notes. Tyrion was giving me that look again. I make it through class without a detention. Meera is smiling about something. I walk her to her locker. She sighs.

"What's up?"

"Have you ever liked two boys at once?"

"Yes. What's this about?"

"Nothing."

"If you're cheating on Robb, I can't support that."

"Lower your voice. I am not cheating. I would never."

"Good."

"Just forget I asked."

Robb greets me with a now cold spiced tea with honey and vanilla. He had it this morning, but I was with Renly outside. I feel bad. That was a sweet thought.

Its gross cold, but I drink it to be polite. Robb sees my discomfort and tosses it in the trash. I give him four bucks. He pockets it.

"Your drink would have been hot if you were here this morning."

"I made up with Renly."

"I can't support that."

"Why not?"

"Because he is going to keep hurting you. I can't stand to see you like that."

"He won't hurt me again. I have a bigger problem. My serving boy kissed me."

"Ha. We all warned you. I told you not to tease him."

"So what should I do?"

"That's your call."

"You are not helping."

"No. I am not."

We walk to class together. I debate telling him what Meera asked me. But she said it was nothing. Why should worry if its nothing? She is not cheating she said.

I think about Renly. Are they right? Is he going to keep hurting me? I am going to forgive him. If he is willing to try, I am willing to forgive.