Chapter 53, everybody! In which we actually race for our lives….And quote The Road to El Dorado, Frozen, Sing, Robots, The Lone Ranger, and Balto. The day I miss an opportunity for a bunch of references is the day I am deceased. ^^;

Also pretty sure this references one of Saphroneth's Pokémon fics—go check them out, they're awesome. :D

And now for something completely different in the review responses:

I'd like to thank Dragonkeeper10, FaolenBookWolf, Poke-ranger21 (not yet), I am vegito, thor94, blarg7865 (me too, but I'd probably put it in the chapter descriptions so it's more closely linked with the right story), talesfanjmf, Urdeadnotbigsurprise (aw, thank you!), forward-smash, Guest, Johnny Spectre, and Cyan Quartz, thanks for the review! Yes, the under-utilized Z-move that crushes all opponents: the Z-Snap. XD

Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo

And now, for something completely different:

'Karp – interj. (slang) Shortening of 'Magikarp'; possible shortening of archaic phrase 'catch a 'karp,' which means to encounter an undesired result to tedious work.

Finding out that Darkrai couldn't see all that well during the day was the sort of thing Pikachu would have rather found out sooner. And of course there was the little problem of getting to a good vantage point without him being seen.

On the positive side, some of them who were electric and the obvious brains of the operation had come up with an alternate solution.

So, while Darkrai was stuck with Charmander and Geodude and skimming through the woods, Pikachu, Squirtle, and Drowzee burst out of the bushes and onto the curving track after the crowd of racers.

"Now THIS I like," Pikachu announced, hanging on as Squirtle used Water Gun and Drowzee used his psychic powers to keep them floating and heading in the general right-way direction. "Someone explain to me why we can't race?"

"Petty human reasons?" Darkrai guessed.

"The fact that you weigh much less than any human racing does and wouldn't be as much of a strain on the riding Pokémon?" Geodude guessed.

"Which isn't a problem for you YOU WEIGH A TON."

"Excuse you I weigh a slim forty-three pounds—I actually need to gain weight."

"Well not right now you don't."

"Hey! Focus!" Pikachu barked. "Where are we heading?"

"Top of that mountain there, they'll be going up switchbacks there, great place to bump racers off, permanently or otherwise."

"People die in this?" Charmander asked, looking nervous.

"Possibly."

"Okay, focusing time," Pikachu muttered. Leaned over and rapped on Squirtle's shell. "How you doing in there?"

The stream of water cut off and he heard gasping inside. "I'm good! Just—gotta catch my breath real quick—"

"Keep it real quick," Drowzee muttered, white-knuckling the shell as he kept them airborne.

"Doing something that's not a con taking up more energy than you thought?" Pikachu asked drily.

"Just picturing my imminent death by high-speed crash, thanks."

"Fair enough," Pikachu said, glancing back down. "How are you with heights?"

"Uhhh…just don't tell me, okay?" Squirtle asked. "I won't be able to see in here."

"Okay then." Wait until water was shooting out again. "Take us up, Drowzee."

Drowzee nodded, small and tight, started angling the shell up, aiming for the mountain.

Pikachu rapped on the shell. "When I tell you, stop Water Gun, okay?"

"This is worse this is worse I'm gonna die I'm gonna die," Drowzee muttered through gritted teeth.

"You're not gonna die," Pikachu snapped back—

Squirtle stuck his head out. "Who's doing what—oh 'karp—"

"Oh no," Pikachu sighed—hung on tight as they started angling down—

Geodude caught them.

"And their at the forty, the twenty, the ten—TOUCHDOWN!" Darkrai announced, landing on the flat top of the mountain.

"YAS!" Charmander cheered, assuming a victory pose before hopping down and running around them. "Goal! Goal! Goal! GOAAAAAAA—" Was caught by Geodude. "Sorry."

Drowzee minced over, looked down the side of the mountain. "Wow, you can sure see a lot of the track."

Pikachu bounded over, looked down, ears pricked. "Can you sense any traps down there?"

"I…kind of have to ask just what it is you think Psychic Pokémon can do."

"Sense minds?"

"Maybe," Drowzee said, sucking on his trunk as he eyed the side of the mountain worriedly. Pikachu, meanwhile, was busy identifying spots where traps would be most likely.

"There's a waterfall there," he observed, pointing it out to the others as they peered down. "That'd be a good place for Lenny to catch up, but since it goes straight through the switches, that means a lot of bridges."

"Which means a lot of pinch points, which means a lot of swell places to set traps or ambushes," Darkrai observed.

Geodude drummed his fingers against the ground in thought—rapped the ground a bit harder—looked up when Drowzee made a noise.

"Right there, I think," he said, pointing. "That kinda feels like people thinking?"

"You don't know for sure?" Squirtle asked.

"One, it's not an exact science. Two, my entire job was making people sluggish and Pokémon sleep within a big radius—it's an entirely different thing."

"So you know one thing, and you have no finesse with it," Darkrai said.

"Pretty much, yeah."

Geodude pointed. "Right there, you think."

"I think. Not sure."

"Well there's one way to find out." Punch the ground, yank up a sizeable rock, chunk it at the spot. A lot of squawking, both human and Pokémon, greeted it. "Huh."

"I like this approach," Darkrai said. "You, find another one we can knock out."

"Is this legal?" Charmander asked worriedly as Drowzee tried to sense another ambush.

"Let's put it this way," Pikachu said, pointing. "That is not legal. We're just leveling the playing field."

"Finally," Darkrai sighed, pretending to wipe away a tear. "We're connecting."

"Okay so maybe it is cheating."

"Hush you'll ruin the moment."

Okay, so she was expecting to fall behind, Lenny was more built for water and short lunges, but she wasn't expecting Onix to outpace them.

"Go! Go!" she yelled, waving Brock ahead. "We'll catch up!"

Onix grunted, pulled ahead—Lenny made a distressed noise, tried to keep up—

Misty patted him behind the crest. "It's okay," she assured him. "We'll hit somewhere where we can catch up, just keep a pace you can handle."

"Hyraaah," Lenny gusted, slowed a little, testing a few different means of forward momentum before settling on something between an up and down motion and a circular one. It made Misty dizzy after a while, but Lenny seemed determined and—

"Hold up! Hit the brakes!" she called, noticing a stream wending through the woods next to them. Look around, look up the mountain they were supposed to be scaling and heading back down—

Could see a waterfall cascading down it.

"Told you we'd catch up," she said, grinning as she pointed the stream out. "Quick, into the water! We'll use it to go up the mountain!"

Lenny cheered, dove in—

The difference was like night and day—foliage streamed by them, Lenny occasionally calling apologetically to the Magikarp and other Pokémon frantically flipping out of the way—reached the bend where the waterfall was visible, poured on even more speed, and leaped up the waterfall, making a good twenty feet before hitting the torrent and launching up again. Misty, hanging on for dear life, couldn't help but recall the legend about how Magikarp evolved into Gyarados when they were able to reach the top of a waterfall.

Idly, she wondered what happened if a Gyarados tried it—would they evolve a second time? And into what?

That question was not answered with Lenny, although she had to holler an apology back when he accidentally clipped a bridge and destroyed it.

"Sorry! I have no control!" she yelled—smiled when Brock and Onix simply angled over the gap like it was a little rut in the road, did feel a little bad for the others stuck there who were then lost in the flash of foliage—

And then Lenny was leaping into the air one last time and landing in a small pond near the top of the mountain.

"Oh thank you," Misty heaved, sagging against Lenny as he roared in triumph. "That closed the gap at least—give me a sec?"

"Squirtle squirt!"

She started at that, looked around—

"Oi!"

Looked up to see Darkrai and the Pokémon they had let out at the top of the mountain, waving.

"You," she said, pointing. "You are a bad influence."

"Eh," Darkrai noised, shrugging. "There's a waterfall that goes down the other side too, if you're interested."

"Oog," she muttered, not sure if she wanted a repeat of that—

Dario and Ash zoomed by the pond, several other racers hot on their tails.

"Okay!" she barked. "Water slide of death, here we come!"

"GYARA!" Lenny cheered, already surging forward.

At least someone was excited about this.

Ash had kept himself plastered to Blaze's saddle, trying to cut down on air resistance, entirely focused on the track ahead—yes, Blaze knew the path, was good at this, had evaded all random pitfalls that stank of someone (whose name sounded a lot like Dario) trying to cheat—

Were going down several more switchbacks, tight turns angling back and forth, almost too sudden for him to be able to lean, almost going flying a few times—

And then Dario's Dodrio slammed into Blaze.

"Sorry, kid!" Dario said, aiming a kick at Ash. "This race is mine!"

Ash couldn't help the scream as Blaze teetered near the edge, slipped—

Both of them falling, fortunately landing on a small ledge just beneath the official track—

But also very stuck.

"No!" Ash yelled—scrambled upright as Blaze righted himself, looked up, saw Onix was already speeding by—tried to yell for them, couldn't attract their attention.

"Ugh, no!" Ash screamed, slamming his hat against his leg—quickly backtracked when Blaze reared. "Agh, no—no I'm sorry I—I guess I should have been paying attention better."

Blaze calmed, knickered at him.

"Ugh, think," Ash said, looking around. "We've got to get off this ledge and back in the race—how do we get down from here?"

"Jumping, probably."

Blaze reared again—Ash grabbed the reins and held him in place as Darkrai looked over the ledge. "It's okay! Darkrai's a friend!" Scowl at Darkrai. "Except, you know, for suggesting we jump off and break our legs."

Darkrai shrugged. "You did ask."

"Can't you help?"

Darkrai pointed at the Ponyta. "I can't get any closer than this without Hidalgo there panicking—unfortunately, no."

"But that means we lose the race!" Ash said. "We can't do that! Lara's counting on us!"

"Well I guess the only thing to say at this point is 'oh well you tried.' No, you don't get a participation trophy."

Ash groaned, kicked the cliff face—

Looked in surprise at Blaze whinnying in a pitch he wasn't used to hearing from the Ponyta.

"What?" he asked, looking at Darkrai. "What did he say?"

Darkrai glared at Blaze. "I'd rather your name be Mister Ed." Look at Ash. "he says he didn't enter this race to lose. Get on."

Ash grinned mightily, swung up into the saddle. "All right! what's the plan for getting down?"

Blaze's response was to start glowing.

Lara couldn't help but bite the nails of her free hand as she watched the race progress—Dario was pulling ahead again, he'd win by a country mile and she hated that—

Glanced down when a bunch of Pokémon showed up next to her—familiar Pokémon.

"And where have you been?" she asked the little conglomerate of trainers' 'mons. The Pikachu waved a paw at her, wrestled with a Charmander for a pair of binoculars—

"Hey."

She turned—couldn't help the wave of disappointment when she saw Misty and Brock climbing up the steps to her. "What happened?"

"A cheating cheater who cheats, that's what happened," Misty groused. "We were totally blown out of bounds."

"I think the ref's in his pocketbook too," Brock said. "There is no way that was a 'roaming band of Electrode.'"

"Is Ash still in the race?" Lara asked, looking back at the track—Dario was now visible, cresting the farthest hill possible—

"Barely—give me that."

Lara shrieked, jumping back into Brock as a great dark…thing grabbed the binoculars from the two squabbling Pokémon and put them to its own blue eyes. "What the—"

"Since you're not busy—is Ash okay?" Misty asked it.

"Wait what you know this thing!?"

"Unfortunately."

"Oh shut it, both of you," the thing groused. "And someone start playing the William Tell Overture."

Why became very clear when a familiar shape crested the farthest hill, catching air with a powerful whinny.

"Blaze!" she gasped, terror at the new thing forgotten—Blaze was still in the running! And Ash too, she supposed.

Blaze was also closing the gap a lot faster than she expected.

"Is Blaze okay?" she asked, leaning on the railing like that would help. "Not that I'm complaining, but he's never been this fast before—"

"Lara," Brock said slowly, about the same time she noticed the discrepancy. "Blaze was a Ponyta, correct?"

The greater gleaming shape made sense now—Blaze had evolved.

And a Rapidash was more than a match for a Dodrio.

"They're going to win this, right?" Misty asked, white-knuckling the railing.

"Eh," the black thing noised. "Depends on how well the horse handles its new size."

"Come on, Blaze, come on," Lara muttered under her breath—nope, screw it, couldn't hold it in anymore. "PLEASE, come on!"

"Go Ash, go!" Misty yelled, pumping the air.

The rest of the crowd was starting to notice too, started cheering for an upset—Dario seemed to think it was for him first, pumped the air, looked back—

She almost hoped his face blanched just then—was definitely paler when he turned around and spurred his bird on faster.

But Blaze was inexorable, slowly closing the gap, picking up speed on the straightaway—nose touching the tail feathers as he swung around—inching up—neck and neck—

Dario tried for a kick, the Dodrio Pecked at Blaze—

Ash and Blaze both dodged, Blaze pouring on the speed—closer—closer—it'd be too close to tell—

The Dodrio bit at Blaze's flank, and that was when Blaze kicked back and caught it in the shin.

Blaze scorched across the finish line, Dario tumbling off his Dodrio to land on the checkers, looking dazed, dirty, and confused.

"YES!" Lana cheered, leaping up, grabbing onto Misty and bouncing around with the similarly-cheering trainer. "They won they won they won!" Grab Brock, kiss him, run down to the finish line.

Brock stood there stock-still, completely frozen.

"We lost Brock, didn't we?" Misty asked.

"Completely," Darkrai confirmed. "He might get back online after he reboots."

"What if we tried percussive maintenance?"

"You know, maybe we could learn to get along."

The winner's circle was a blur for Ash—he spent most of the time deflecting the questions to Lara, kept telling everyone it was her win.

"I can't thank you enough," she said as she led them back to her ranch. "Can't I give you guys anything? At least let me give you a meal."

"Sold," Ash declared.

"Of course," Misty said, shrugging. "Fastest way to his heart is his stomach."

"So you're turning down a free meal?" Brock asked, amused.

"I didn't say that."

"It's fine," Lara insisted. "You guys really saved my bacon." Look up at Ash once they reached the ranch. "You know you can get down now, right?"

Ash nodded. "Yeah."

"So…."

Ash nodded again, expression strained—

Finally slid off to collapse on the ground.

"AhhHUAGHaaagh I can't feel my legs!"

"Ah," Lara said. "In retrospect, should have thought of that."

"Walk it off," Misty counseled.