Hello readers and reviewers!

Colors Beyond the Spectrum : Because it wasn't the good chapter :) You'll have to wait just a little more :)
Boobynny60 : I love happy Sherlock (well...I love Sherlock period)
Hootinan : Taken care of by Sherlock? The queue is -/- (1 000 miles) -/- here :p
Miss Crookshank : So cute I could eat him!
helenecolin : More help in this chapter :)
anksenamoon : No! I won't translate this story :) Mais bientôt une nouvelle histoire en français (faut juste que je trouve le plot, je prends tous les points de départ :p)
Real or not : Better and better :p Thanks for the book reference. Amazon is my friend. Mais vu que je me suis achetée l'intégrale de Sherlock Holmes (plus un bon millier de choses) je vais garder l'idée dans mon panier :p
Tu étais à la convention à Olympia?
watergoddesskasey : Thanks for your input :p :p :p

As always thanks for comments and for reading.

Please review!

7 – Uncontrollable fear

John was sitting on a chair back to the kitchen sink with a towel on his shoulder.

"All right John," Sherlock said while putting the shampoo on the work plan "is the height okay?"

"It's okay Sherlock..." John asked himself why he agreed to that, but Sherlock looked so happy.

The brown haired man turned the water on.

"All right, lean your back on the chair," he said leaning John's head on his hand "tell me if anything is wrong." He added from John's right side as he cautiously started to wet the doctor's head.

The water was a little cold but the doctor didn't complain, he just made a face when some run into his ear.

"Sorry John, I'm not in a really comfortable position, because of the cupboards. I'm too tall. Would you...would you mind if I put my legs on each side of yours, it would really help?" The brown haired man asked tentatively. John looked up and saw the cupboards hanged here, then he looked at Sherlock's face, the man was annoyed by the situation, he really wanted to do well.

"If you must." John said flatly.

The detective moved slowly and managed not to touch John. He didn't want him to think he did this to trap him or anything. The blond haired man watched him with a little apprehension which sadden Sherlock a little. Still Sherlock kept on getting John's hair wet running his hand on it. He took the shampoo and put some in his hand and spread it in the silky blond hair massaging slowly. He felt John's eyes on him, watching every move, anticipating everything just in case. He didn't catch the doctor's eyes for he was cautiously avoiding them, after all he loved the man, being close to him like that was a real challenge, and to be true it was quite dangerous but he wanted John to trust him.

I want rough sex with you, he remembered his words, as far as they were true they also were a little too much spontaneous.

Sherlock made little circles in John's hair and lather up the shampoo. He let his hands run to the back of the doctor's head and did the same. Then he came back to John's temples and stroked them with his thumbs. He didn't want his body to react to the touch but he couldn't prevent his heart from beating faster, he managed to control his breathing though. What was John thinking? Probably he thought he had to be careful, maybe he was expecting an attack and was still on the verge to stand up and run away. Sherlock was...yes, he was scared, but he wanted to know so he looked down at the blond haired man below him...and felt his heart jump on his chest. John had closed his eyes, he was slowly breathing though his half-open mouth, relaxed. He was beautiful. Sherlock realized he had stop moving his hands on John's skull but his fingers were still tangled in his hair, which was quite suspicious. The detective couldn't stop contemplating the doctor's face. He wanted his mouth, he wanted to kiss it, lick it, bite it. But he couldn't claim it as his since the blond haired man had forbidden it. But I love him.

Sherlock closed his eyes and took a deep breath, when he opened them again John was silently watching him.

He is going to run away, the detective thought. He's going to push me away, stand up and run as far as he could. His heart was pounding in his chest and his head.

But the moment passed and John didn't move, he just looked at Sherlock.

The detective moved his fingers again then he turned on the water and started rinsing the shampoo.

"Sherlock," John whispered "the water is a little cold." He simply said before closing his eyes again.

"Oh, sorry!" Sherlock answered. He was a little dazed, but the relief of John not storming out helped him breath normally again and he soon felt better. He ran his fingers though the doctor's hair and took all his time to rinse the shampoo. Finally he took a towel and softly patted John's head to dry his hair.

"It's okay, John. You can sat straighter now." he said softly and the doctor slowly opened his eyes. He caught Sherlock's blue piercing gaze. The detective legs were still on each sides of John's but he didn't feel threaten for the brown haired man looked shy and numb, which was new.

"Thank you," the doctor said and Sherlock took a step back to allow the man to stand "tomorrow I might need a shave, if it doesn't bother you." He said in a soft voice.

Sherlock opened his mouth, he was about to say something absolutely inappropriate but his brain worked faster than his vocal chords.

"No, not at all. I'll be happy to help." He finally said with a gentle smile.

I love you.

John went out of the room.

Why did he do that? Why did he let Sherlock wash his hair, touch him, being that close to him?

Maybe because he needed to know if he could trust him...again.

Sherlock showed him he could.

He also showed him he really loved him. If he hadn't he would have taken what he wanted, claim what he needed and John would have had to hurt him bad.

But he didn't.

The look in the detective's eyes when John opened his wasn't faked and it touched the doctor more than he thought it could. Sherlock could be quite tender, that was a strange thing to discover especially after the words he said not that long ago, those were lacking sensibility, they were all rough and animal.

The thing John still needed to understand and accept was that Sherlock could be both. He could be both in the same day, the same hour even the same minute.

Was he prepared for that?

John's mobile chimed.

He read the text message and hurried back in the kitchen. Sherlock was reading his own text, and couldn't turn his eyes away from the small screen.

I will take him away from you. Xx M.

"No he won't!" John said.

"John..." Sherlock answered looking in the blond haired man's eyes, he looked distressed.

"Sherlock, don't let him do that!" The doctor almost ordered.

"But..."

"I'm here."

"As my friend..."

John crossed the distance between them and put his right hand on Sherlock's waist "I'll always be your friend."

"Will you be my love?" The tall man said before even thinking it. He opened his eyes wide. No, no, no, he didn't say that, John was about to go away now, he was about to leave. Always that uncontrollable fear. One second, two, three, John was still there. Did he even heard the words? An awful silence fell in the kitchen.

"I don't know Sherlock." John finally said.

"Can I just hold you now?" Sherlock asked tentatively.

"You have to be careful with my wrist but, yes, you can."

Sherlock put his arms around John's waist and pulled him close. He rested his cheek on the little man's still wet hair and closed his eyes.

"I love you." He whispered.

John didn't answered but gripped Sherlock's shirt and pulled him closer.