Its my most familiar dream.
I'm standing outside.
The sky is black except now I see hundreds of starts illuminating it.
The wind that used to whip around so furiously in my dream is now gone, replaced with a breeze.
The dream that I have had so many times, the dream that used to scare me, is intriguing me right now.
Why has it changed?
Then he is here.
The crow. He's always here.
I'm not afraid though. I look up at him as he soars gracefully through the night sky. I sit down on the grass, pulling my knees up close to my body. I keep watching. The bird gets lower and closer before he slowly lands on one of my knees.
I knew that he was coming down for me, this time I was ready. I didn't move.
I looked straight into his eyes. There was something familiar about them.
I slowly lifted up my right hand. I held my fingers just a few inches from the jet black feathers. I paused as if an indication if it was ok to touch him. The bird didn't move but instead nodded his head once.
It shocked me. Could it possibly know what I meant? I let the tips of my fingers touch the soft feathers. I paused again before I ran my fingers down its side. I'm not afraid. There's something about him. I smiled lightly at him and continued to pet him.
The crow took off suddenly. Flying up towards the night sky. I could see his black silhouette against the sparkling sky. The stars seemed to shine brighter now. A burst of light against the darkness.
I woke up just as I was watching the bird gracefully fly away. Its the first time that the crow has been in my dream that I wasn't completely horrified. I also didn't wake up in a panic.
I got out of bed and got ready to head over to go check on Stefan. I know that he wont be any different today. I know this is going to be a long process. I guess its all the movies and books that have a small part of me convinced that he would be cured overnight. I'm trying to hard to convince myself that this isn't how something like this works. I don't want the disappointment.
I'm standing outside of their place. The giant doors feeling like a welcoming of the disappointment that I don't want. I know that I don't need to knock on the door but I lift up the handle on the knocker and do it anyways. I guess its because I don't want to walk in on Damon doing something completely Damon-like.
Would he still do that though?
No. I don't think that he would. Not right now at least.
The door opens, of course Damon is the one to greet me.
I don't know what to say to him. Damon must be feeling the same way. Instead of talking, he walks away from the door and over to the study. I close the door behind myself. No witty comment? I'm more than shocked. I know Damon has been different lately, in a good way, but this definitely isn't his nature.
I walk past the study and to the staircase leading down to the cellar. I stand outside of the door for a few moments. I don't want to see Stefan this way. I take in a deep breath and look inside of the small window.
Stefan is sitting on the floor with his back to a wall. The wife beater that he had been wearing was completely filthy now. Dark red stains on it. Where did they come from? I look at Stefan's hands. The skin there is completely ripped, dried blood around his knuckles. He had been punching something in here. The wall most likely. His skin looks a lot more pale than usually, the shine to it is completely gone. Its drying out. So fast? It must be the vervain.
"Elena.." Stefan's weak voice calls out. The sound makes my lips tremble.
"I'm sorry for everything Stefan." I whisper.
"Open the door Elena." He sounds more like the old Stefan. I know I shouldn't, but maybe he is ok.
My fingers lightly touch the latch. I feel a hand on mine immediately. I look up to see Damon staring at me. His eyes are saying everything right now, he looks mad. I let go of the latch quickly.
"He's faking it. He wants you to sympathize him so you will open up the door." Damon doesn't sound entertained by any of this at all. I should have known. How could I fall for Stefan in there? He just seems so helpless.
"God damnit it Damon!" Stefan screams standing up. His eyes turn red, the veins beneath them bulging out showing his anger and his hunger. Stefan punches the wall, further injuring his hands. I push my back up against the wall. I feel like going catatonic. This can't be real. This can't be Stefan.
"You're not coming out. When you can convince me your Saint Stefan again I might consider it then. Come on Elena." Damon sounds so calm now. His hand wraps around my upper arm, somewhat pulling me up the stairs and to the study. I don't even bother having him let go. I don't think that I would have made it up on here on my own.
I sit down in one of the oversized arm chairs. I know my eyes are blank. I can feel them starting to get wet. I try with everything to hold it in. I wont break down right now. I can hear Damon going for his usually drink. A glass of golden liquid.
I never really thought about how hard all of this must be for Damon.
I have always looked at him as a soulless monster. I never looked at him like Stefan. The thing is though, with all of this, I realize it. My mind starts going off in a hindered different directions.
A new part of me now has that sympathy for him. Not just that but something else. I can't figure out the emotion correctly. I know that he says that he hates Stefan but I never thought if this is actually effecting him. I need to say something.
"Damon?" I say quietly, finally letting my blank stare drop.
"Hmmm?" Is how he responds, the glass he is holding moving up to his lips.
"Thank you." I say quietly looking at him. He's quiet. The glass frozen in place. "I wouldn't have been able to do this without you." He stays quiet, this time drinking more of his liquor.
I want to talk to him. There's so many different things that I want to say, that I want to ask. This is Damon though. He isn't one to open up. He also isn't responding well to my thank you. I mean it though. I sigh in defeat.