I didn't think that I would die at such a young age. I also didn't think it would be at the hands of the person that I thought I loved. I just wished I could have made everything write with everyone else in my life. I exhale the breath that I had been holding in. In that moment I feel the weight of Stefan's body come off of me and the thud of something hitting the ground.

I open my eyes to see Stefan on the ground with Damon standing over him. A vicious snarl comes out of Stefan. I'm frozen in place as I watch the two brothers.

"Get out of here Elena." Damon says without even looking at me, his eyes strictly down on Stefan who is now raising to his feet. I still can't bring myself to move. "I'm serious Elena." I can hear the anger in his voice, there is something preventing me from moving. A part of me thinks its because Damon is near me. "Now!" He snaps at me and I snap out of it. I run out of the cellar and up the stairs. I hear the noise of one of them being pushed into a wall.

It kills me to hear this. I listen to Damon though, there is no point for me to stay here right now. I run to the front door which is wide open. My car is parked a little down the driveway. I run to it opening up the drivers side door. My keys are in the middle of the car in a cup holder. I pick them up and quickly look for the one that starts my car. I get my finger on it. I shove it into the ignition then turn it. The car comes to life. I quickly reverse out of the driveway. I pause for a moment once I am out on the open road. I need to collect myself. I don't want this to be like the night that I found out that I looked like Katherine.

I regain myself. I slowly being to drive away from the boarding house, I look in the review mirror as I watch it fade into the distance.

I get home. Alaric and Aunt Jenna are in the kitchen sitting at the island that is placed in the middle.

"Hello Elena." I can hear Alaric saying as I rush up the stairs. I don't want to talk to them.

"Elena!" I can hear Jenna call after me. I can faintly hear her and Alaric talking. "Well that was rude. I'm sorry Alaric."

"Its alright, its just that teenage angst." I hear Alaric's voice carry up the stairs making an excuse for me. He knows that it is so much more than that.

I push open the door to my room, shutting it quickly behind me. What was I thinking? How could I have thought that Stefan was ok? He seemed so much like the Stefan I knew. I wanted him to be better so much that I believed it. Hot tears are still streaming down my face. I didn't know that anything could hurt this much. I want to talk to someone so much but I can't. I can't even talk to Bonnie. She's left me.

I guess its really more that I left her first.

The pain of knowing that I've lost Bonnie washes over me. I really don't have anyone now. I know how furious Damon is going to be at me. I walk over to my window to make sure that the window is still unlocked. Damon will be with Stefan for a while.

I go over to the painting above my bed. I move the painting just a bit with one hand and use my other one to reach for my diary that I have hidden back there. I haven't be able to write in it for days. I have no other way to vent out what is going on right now.

I sit down on my bed, with my back to my wall. My eyes are starting to dry. I open up the book. The last entry that I had was when I was talking about how Stefan and I were trying to be normal. Reading the words brings the sadness back to me. I hold it in though. I grab the pen that was in the middle of the book.

My mind starts racing with everything that has been going on. Pearl, my uncle Jonathan, Vickie, Bonnie, Stefan…and Damon. As I'm writing I realizing a pattern. No matter what I always go back to the topic of Damon. I deiced to write about the dream that I had with Damon.

Damon says that he can't control anything that goes on in my dream. I believe him too. I laid there with him for what seemed like forever. I didn't mind though, everything there was so beautiful. Being with him in the dream was an escape from all of the bad that has been happening. These past few days Damon has been the most real thing. I've seen a side of him, the side that I believe is how he was always suppose to be. I think that the act that he has always been playing, was just that, an act. I don't think was ever really suppose to be so evil, or actually enjoyed it that much.

Stefan though, he deceived my from the beginning. The person that he has been pretending to be all these years, I don't believe that was ever really him. I need to know though.

I can't believe how naive I have been about everything. Enough to believe everything Stefan ever said to me and complete ignore Damon, who could have been this way from the beginning if it wasn't for Stefan. Maybe things would have been different if I would have met Damon first.

A part of me wants everything to go back to the way it was. This other part of me though, is glad that all of this happened. If this really is how Stefan is, I don't think that I can be with him. He's lost to me.

I stop for the moment. My body exhausted from the stress of everything. I curl up on my side. My dairy is still in my hand, its smooth cover against my skin. I close my eyes as I can feel my heart wanting to shatter. I close my eyes, I want to run away from this mess that I have helped make. I lay here hoping that the sleep I want to bad will take me soon.

I slip into darkness.

The place that I have come to appreciate is different to me now. I look around the clearing. Everything is so dark that I can barely make out the outlines of the forest that line the grassy area. I look up in the sky. All of the stars are completely gone, not even the moon is out. There is a wind that is blowing now making the area seem freezing. I take my arms and wrap them around myself in attempt to make it seem not so cold. There hasn't been wind here in a while. Autumn leaves begin to blow past my feet. They used to be autumn leaves. It takes me a while in this darkness to realize all of the leaves are dead.

I sit down on the grass in complete defeat. I can hear the crunch of the leaves beneath me. The sadness from my life has carried over into this place that I was starting to appreciate. Even in my dream, I know that its my dream. I can't change it though. I keep thinking to myself, if I just wake up, this can stop.

I don't wake up though. I lay on the grass instead looking up into the inky black sky.

Without Damon this place has changed so much, an even bigger sadness washes over me.

I lay here for what feels like hours. I'd rather stay here at the moment than face what awaits me outside of here.

I hear a caw come out of the forest. I sit up quickly and look into the direction of where the noise came. The same noise repeats itself. I notice now that the wind has pushed all of the leaves away. Not just that but the wind has stopped all in itself. I stay quiet, trying to listen for him again. I look up and I can barely make out the outline of a crow flying around in the sky.

Damon.

The moment that I think his name, the sky slowly begins to fill up with the stars that were here before. I can see the crow so much more clearly now. I watch as he dives down into the woods. A moment later I see Damon emerge from the same area as before. The look on his face is serious, the smile that I saw before is now gone.

"I need you to wake up Elena." Damon says looking down at me as I am still sitting on the grass.

"I don't want to." I say and even I can hear the sadness in my own voice.

"I wont have this conversation with you in your dream. Wake up Elena." With that Damon moves back towards the area that he came from. The stars starting to flicker and fade with each step that he takes.

I keep repeating to myself to wake up. Before long I see my dream being ripped away from me as I come to consciousness.