Chapter Fifty-One: Loneliness

Margaery's Point of View

We had thrown a party for Torrhen a few weeks before. Now, everyone was at the beach for a day of fun.

Aegon is my boyfriend. What was I thinking? If my mother is going to have us marry someday I should try to love him. I spot Daenerys in her bikini surrounded by a bunch of large men of a different race. Dany was sitting on one's lap. He had his arms around her.

I sigh. I get up and walk over to Meera and Sansa who both fill out their suits nicely. Meera wore a one piece because she was uncomfortable with showing that much skin. Arya also wore a one piece.

Meera is eating fries and watching Torrhen while her boyfriend plays Frisbee with Loras, Renly, and Gendry. The boys are laughing and having fun.

Aegon and Willas are eating watermelon and trying to beat Arya in a seed spitting contest. She is the reigning champion. I sit down and adjust my bikini top. At that moment, Robb is smacked in the face by the Frisbee which Loras had aimed perfectly.

"I need a girlfriend," I say.

"You have Aegon," says Sansa.

"He's a boy and he's boring."

I watch Torrhen grab Meera's breast and laugh about it.

"Like father like son," Meera jokes. Sansa and Meera's attention is turned when they see Renly stretching. His body is perfectly sculpted. He had been working out to prepare for the wedding. He thought it would entice Loras enough to lose their bet and sleep with him. Neither of them wants to lose.

Renly is tanned and sweaty. He glistens in the sun. Meera and Sansa are practically drooling. They giggle when Renly comes over to get sunblock for Loras.

"Gendry's hot too," says Dacey, showing up. She grabs a fry and joins the boys in Frisbee. I watch Renly rub sunblock on Loras's back. He is so considerate.

Meera hands Tor to Sansa and grabs the other sunblock. She walks up to Robb and offers to rub it on him. He is starting to burn. He is fair skinned and burns easily in the sun as did Sansa who stays in the shade.

"Ladies, let's play beach volleyball," says Robb coming over after Meera rubs in his sunscreen. Loras and Renly start building a sand castle.

"I don't want to get in the sun," says Sansa.

"Fine, then you can watch Tor," says Robb, "Mags?"

"I'm in," I say.

We all play, save for Sansa who is watching Torrhen. I spike a ball. Robb is out to prove he is better than Aegon so the two engage in a rivalry. Surprisingly, it isn't over Meera.

With Loras and I on the same team we are unstoppable. I set him up with the ball and he smacks it down. Robb leaps for it and misses he falls in the sand. I high five my brother.

"The flower twins can't play together," says Aegon.

"We're not twins," Loras and I say in perfect unison.

"Shut up, Aegon. Who invited you anyway?" Robb asked.

"Maggie did," said Aegon crossing the net and pulling me in for a kiss. Arya hits him with a ball. Aegon releases me. She pushes him back to his side and starts her service.

"Stay on your side," says Arya, "and don't touch my teammates."

I wink at her. She serves and Renly hits the ball in my direction. I volley it and Loras spikes it over the net. We end up winning. Willas buys our team ice cream.

"Could we talk?" Robb asks me.

I walk along the beach with him. He wants to talk about living arrangements after the wedding. I knew this was coming eventually. He knows I want to finish school.

"You can stay with me and Gendry if you like," Robb says.

"No, thank you. Willas wants me to move into his new place with him after the wedding."

"Well the offer still stands."

"Thank you, you're sweet."

We keep walking. Robb tries to hold my hand. I pull back. He nods. We talk about the wedding. Robb makes a decision that surprises me.

"I want you to stand behind Loras. You're his sister and its only right."

"You're the Best Man, he picked you."

"He shouldn't have. He should have asked you."

"I will be standing right behind you, Robb. You belong at his side. You love him more than I do."

"We love him equally," Robb says, laughing. I give Robb's arm a squeeze at his joke.

"We do. We really do."

"Thank you," says Robb.

"You're welcome," I say.

It obviously means more to him to be Loras's Best Man. He only offered the place to me out of respect and courtesy. I admire that. We walk back to the others. Renly and Loras are adding a small sand village to accompany their sandcastle.

"We need a night club right here," says Renly.

"Why?" Loras asks.

"So our sand citizens can go dancing," says Renly.

They are so adorable. I help my brother build the sand citizens. We make our group. I create a tiny Sansa while Loras builds Torrhen. We take a picture of our village when its done.

Aegon jumps on it. Loras frowns.

"That was mean," says Loras.

"I say we all get dressed and go out for dinner and Willas buys," says Renly.

"You're an ass," says Willas.

"Its a skill," says Renly.

We all go to a nice restaurant for dinner. Robb does a bathroom check to make sure their is changing table in the men's room. It passes the inspection. He gets a highchair for Tor and we all sit around to eat.

Aegon tries more than once to unhook my bra. He touches my thigh under the table and slides his hand up my skirt to my inner thigh. I keep pushing his hand back, but he puts it right back. He works his fingers under the lace of my panties. I push his hand down.

"Stop it," I whisper.

Aegon manages to unhook my bra through my dress with one hand. His other hand is stroking my pubic hair. I slide his hand out of my underpants.

"I am going to hit you," I tell him.

"Shh," says Aegon. He finds my opening and rubs it. I yank on his hand to get him back.

"Aegon, get your hands out of my panties," I say. That got some attention. Both my brothers, Renly, Gendry, and Robb are all alert and aware of the situation. I slap Aegon in the face and he removes his hand.

"We're going to be married someday," Aegon says.

"I would hit you, but this is a nice place," says Loras.

"I'll hit him," says Robb.

"No. Let's just enjoy dinner."

After dinner, I go home with Aegon. While the limo is moving I give Aegon permission to touch me. He puts on a condom and slide my legs apart. I close my eyes and pretend its Dany.

"You sure?" He asks as he strips me.

"Yes."

He slides inside and I grunt. The pain is overwhelming, but pleasurable. I cry as he does his business. Its different than having sex with a woman. I am not sure I like it. When he finishes I lay there and sob.

I ask the driver to take me to Robb's. I put my dress back on. Aegon seems unsatisfied. "Meera was better."

"I'm sorry," I say, actually I am not sorry. I am just stupid. Aegon does not even walk me to the door. I feel like showering because I feel dirty. Robb is in the kitchen cleaning when I come in.

"What took you so long?"

I want to say Aegon had the driver circle the block while he took me, but the words do not come. My brother is not home yet. I do not need to be told that. I just know.

"You look terrible, did Aegon do something?" When I do not answer, Robb's eyes widen in terror. "What did he do? I'll kill him."

"I let him," I say. I start sobbing. "I'm such a terrible princess. I'm a whore. I let him fuck me."

"Its not ladylike to say fuck," says Robb.

"I don't care."

"You're not a whore, Margaery. You're a teenage girl with hormones. Do you want a hug?"

I nod. He hugs me innocently. I sob into his chest. I laugh at how wet I am making his shirt. He holds me until I calm down.

"Why did you let him?" Robb asks handing me a tissue. He winces when I release him and I realize he has a sunburn.

"Because I thought I wanted it."

"Loras is going to shit daggers," Robb says.

"I know," I say.

"What if you get pregnant?" Robb asks.

"He used a condom," I say.

"Doesn't matter. They're not always effective."

"They're not?"

"No. Mags, you didn't know that?"

I shake my head. I am so stupid.

"I am such an idiot," I say. I scream and tug on my hair. Robb stops me. He has me sit down. He gives me a bag of chocolate candies and a cup of tea.

"You're not."

"Why are you being so helpful?"

"You mean a lot to me."

"Because I'm your crush?" I ask.

"No, because you're my friend."

Loras comes in singing happily. I wipe my eyes. He stops singing and glances from me to Robb and at the chocolates on my lap.

"What did you do?" Loras asks Robb.

"I didn't do this," Robb says.

"He didn't do this," I say.

"Why is my sister crying?" Loras asks.

"She was stung by a bee," Robb says.

Loras does not buy that for a second, but he considers how ridiculously Robb is willing to lie in order to protect me and accepts the lie.

Loras shrugs and heads to our room. When he shuts the door, I sigh. I look at Robb. I smile at him.

"Please don't tell him," I say.

"I won't. But if you decide to, give me a head start so I can get as far from here as possible," Robb says. He pats me on the head and leaves. Grey Wind follows.

I join my brother in our room. Loras tells me about his flirtation with Renly. They are driving everyone crazy. The sexual tension between them is so thick you need an axe to cut through it. But they are both too stubborn to give in on this bet.

"Renly put his hand on my crotch, I am going to count that," Loras says.

I kiss my brother's cheek and snuggle up to him. His bare torso raises and falls under my head. I listen to the reverberations of his heart beat. Its soothing. I stroke his chest chair and trace he muscles in his pectorals.

Loras's is the only male body I am comfortable with. Its so warm and familiar. He puts his arm under me and scoots me closer. I throw my leg over his and we entwine ourselves.

I feel safe. Loras puts the sheet over me. He adjusts our pillows so I may have the fluffier ones. "Are you comfortable?"

"Yes," I say.

"I love you," Loras says.

"I love you too," I say. I shut my eyes. I am with the person I trust the most. I feel him kiss my forehead as his breathing slows down. He wiggles a little to get comfortable and we fall asleep.

In the morning, I am turned away from Loras, but I can feel his warmth beside me. Only its not him. The body I feel next to me is skinnier. I roll over and its Aegon. He flips me over and takes me by force.

I shoot awake. It was a dream. Loras is beside me. He stirs. My nightmare must have waken him.

"Loras," I say.

"Shh, I'm here."

"Hold me," I say.

Loras pats his chest and I lay my head there. He wraps strong arms around me and I go back to sleep.

I am being licked. I open my eyes to the golden eyes of Grey Wind. He licks my face again. I pet his head. My brother is not in bed.

Loras is in the living room eating cereal in front of the TV. He and Robb are watching cartoons. Torrhen is playing on the floor by their feet.

"I want to throw you a bachelor party," I hear Robb tell Loras.

"You do?"

"Not a regular one, but you, Gendry, Jon, and I should go out."

"Oh okay. I think Renly is having one."

I enter. The boys look at me. I snuggle up to my brother on the couch.

I decide I cannot tell Loras about Aegon. I want him to think good thoughts about me. I eat off his spoon. He does not seem to like that. My attention is turned when Torrhen takes a step towards Robb. Robb's face is lit up like a Christmas tree.

"He took a step," Robb says with tears in his eyes. He picks up his son and kisses him. Loras and I are smiling.