First Fanfiction! I hope you enjoy it! (No copyright intended, all characters belong to Cassandra Clare)

CASTLES MADE OF SAND, CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

Little Child

"If you want someone, to make you feel so fine, then we'll have some fun
When you're mine, all mine. So come, come on, come on
Little child, little child, little child. Won't you
dance with me?"

Alec was in an absolute daze. Everything around him had this sort of new shine to it, that before the events of last night, and that morning—Alec would have never seen. Could one person honestly be this happy and elated about a kiss, without feeling as if they were about to combust? He liked Magnus' lips against his, the feeling of his smooth tawny finger tips digging into his hip bones, the beautiful taste of Magnus' tongue fondling with his own. Alec was still at a loss for words about the fact that he had kissed a guy—Magnus—and that he liked it, a lot more than he should of. But possibly, that was his mind and bodies way of telling him exactly who he was; a sort of way of revealing the inner truth of Alec—that he was gay. However, at the same time, the idea readily freaked Alec out; he didn't know how Jace and Isabelle would react, let alone how his parents would take it. And if he were to be honest, he didn't want to know.

Before Alec had left Sebastian's house to go to the Jeep, which Jace and Clary were waiting in; Alec took to stalking the wide and narrow halls, faintly remembering through his muddled mind, that he did have a sister who was nowhere to be seen, as of yet. Luckily after a few minutes of searching through half cracked bedroom doors, and different living areas, he had found Isabelle, slumped over on a small dark indigo coach, her arms latched around the body of another girl with even less clothing than Isabelle had on. Alec breathed a sigh of relief, for having found Isabelle with another friend of hers which was a girl, instead of a guy. Instead of William.

He scooped her up into his arms easily, her head lolling back over his left forearm, and her mouth falling open to emit small sighs and snores. She looked so innocent in that moment: Her beautiful wavy tresses of hair, falling across her shoulder and down her back in beautiful regal waves; her face wiped clean of all the concealer and thick black eyeliner, showing off just how naturally gorgeous she could be. That was one thing he undoubtedly disliked, when regarding Isabelle—not that he actually disliked his sister in that context—Alec had always admired Isabelle, in a sisterly way, as quite possibly the beautifulest girl he had ever seen, without the makeup, next to the natural non-forced look of their mother, Maryse, as well. He could remember when Isabelle had submerged herself into changing the way she looked, and hating it, because now, sometimes when he looked upon his sister, he could barely recognize the girl that was once—and still was for the most part—his best friend.

Once he had found his way back to the front of the house, and out into the sun lit, cool crisp day, Jace had already pulled up the Jeep to the front steps of the house, with Clary sitting in the passenger seat. In a small almost insignificant part at the back of Alec's mind, he felt a bit cheated by Jace—as if Clary was somehow replacing his mark in Jace's life. But he couldn't think like that, those thoughts would only lead to bruised feelings, and confusing notions. Clary could give Jace everything he wanted really; everything Alec could not, given the person Jace was.

Alec placed Isabelle into the back seat carefully, attempting with all his strength not to disturb her in her sleep. Once you woke Isabelle up, without her consent, you were in for a tremendous amount of word lashings and menacing stares. So, ever so slightly, he slid her into the back seat feet first cradling her head in his hands. He slipped into the seat next to her, and placed her head in his lap. "Where to?" Jace yawned, and pulled out of the driveway of Sebastian's estate. His golden hair was mused all around his head, and his tight black shirt wrinkled across his chest and back.

"School?" Clary enquired, and looked back over her seat at Alec, pinning for his consent on what to do as well. He liked that about Clary, how she took everyone into account rather than just Jace—even if the first time they had met each other, she had seemed like an absolute wanton girl, who feel under the spell of that which was Jace Lightwood—something had changed within the both of them, Jace and Clary, since that day. Alec was certain he would be seeing quite a substantial bit of those fiery crimson locks around the house for the next while.

"How about home? Sound good to you Alec?" Jace asked, shoulder checking onto the paved road; his voice still laced with sleep and drowsiness.

"Sure, I don't really have to be at school until the afternoon anyways," Alec muttered, staring out of the window, watching the passing evergreen and pine trees pass in an insurmountable blur of green and brown. He was really beginning to appreciate the scenery of Alicante, so fresh, vibrant and full of deep but at the same time bright colors.

"Why's that Alec?" Jace asked haughtily from the front seat, his tone much more accusing than it should have been. Alec narrowed his eyes in question, pinching his features together, attempting, somewhat desperately, to find out what Jace had meant by asking him that. There was something hidden there, something Alec couldn't quite see and or decipher. Usually it was easier for Alec to detect the intentions hidden within Jace's actions and words, but at the moment Alec's mind was staggeringly focused on the idea of Magnus, that he couldn't quite focus on any other thing.

"No reason, I just... Wanted to go home and rest a bit, then go to school. Sleeping on the floor wasn't the best situation." Alec lied, because really, he would sleep on that floor forever more, if it meant waking up to blazing yellow-green cat-like eyes, and met by a sweet kiss afterwards. Actually if Alec was to be quite frank, he wished those lush lips were pressed against his right in this moment—it was such an amazing feeling having Magnus there to share in those heated touches. Alec raised his fingers to his mouth, wishing he could have that burning feeling of Magnus' lips on his own, right in that moment.

"Why don't we just stay in all day?" Clary suggested, slumping back farther into her seat, kicking her petite feet up onto the dashboard of the Jeep.

"Didn't you say that the point of these parties on weekdays, were for us all to just get up and catch rides together in the morning for school?" Alec leaned forward in his seat, placing his head between the two front spaces to smirk at Clary. He made sure not to lean too forward, as to crush Isabelle's head however.

"I do recall saying something like that... But desperate times call for desperate measures, and I don't think any of us are up for going to school today." Clary shrugged her shoulders up. "Besides you..." Clary cocked her head to the side, and regarded him with watchful emerald eyes.

"I'm just not hung over, I guess." Alec shrugged and returned his back to the plush leather seat. Truth be told, he had, had at the maximum three drinks. He couldn't and honestly wouldn't have let himself get drunk. It just wasn't his type of thing, and besides he hated the way drinks flowed down the back of his throat, burning its way down, as it went. Sure, when a drink finally hit his stomach it created this warm buzz to drift throughout his veins, but the after affects of it all was never a good thing.

"C'mon Alec, stay at home and hang out with us today." Jace cooed from the front seat, and despite Alec's potential protests, Jace was headed in the exact direction of their estate on the east hilltops. Jace reached back over his seat for Alec's face, swiping his fingers playfully over his cheek. Alec swatted his hand away—How was Alec supposed to convey to Jace the message that he wanted to go to school in the afternoon, so he could see Magnus again? So he could potentially slip away down another abandoned hall, and have Magnus' body pressed against his once again? But how was he to do that, without upsetting a balance between himself and the people in the car? Alec didn't dare go near the close death defying consequences that conversation would arouse.

"Okay, fine. I won't go." Alec tried to suppress the scowl that was now plastered to his face, but had a hard time doing so. He snaked his arms over his chest, and sat there silently swearing in his mind, in defiance. But then again, it wouldn't be all that bad—Alec could always see Magnus later on... At night... Where they would have more time to themselves, rather than sneaking subtle glances towards each other in Biology class. And besides, Isabelle had asked Alec last night if they could talk, and when she woke up, that would be the perfect point in time to do so. He missed it desperately actually; if he dug down deep inside himself. Talking to Isabelle, about anything there was to talk about was a small desire of his—even if they couldn't discuss everything.

Once they had made it back to the house, Alec had carried Isabelle out of the car and throughout the house; about to lay her down on her bed, but thought otherwise, seeing the state at which her room was in. He took her instead to his bedroom, and laid her gracefully in the middle of the bed, and instantly she curled up into his sheets, stretching her feeble limbs across the expanse of his bed. Jace and Clary had situated themselves in the kitchen, making some sort of a breakfast, for them all; the sweet rustle of trees, birds outside and the voices of them in the kitchen made Alec feel serenely relaxed. He usually only let Maryse cook for him—other than restrauants—but really, as long as it wasn't Isabelle doing the cooking in the house, he would oblige to whatever was laid out in front of him.

In the time between waiting for breakfast to be ready, Alec pulled out a dark grey plain shirt, and black jeans from his dresser drawers, as well as a change of black boxer-briefs, and stole away to the bathroom across the hall, to have a quick scorching hot shower. While in the shower, scrubbing around his body with the Sandal wood body wash Isabelle had bought for him; the image of Magnus' lean body eclipsed across his mind. The way his black waxy jeans had hugged him in all the right places, how his purple v-neck sweater showed off just the right amount of skin across his chest...

Alec became enticed by the images, and before he got too caught up within his mind, his hands travelling even further and further south... Alec turned the dial on the shower nozzle to a freezing cold temperature, instantly dimming the heat which hummed within him. He quickly jumped out of the shower, dressed just as hastily as he had jumped out, and towel dried his hair. After he was done, he returned to his bedroom, and found Isabelle propped in the middle of his bed, sitting campfire style. Her black baby doll dress billowed out around her in a circle on the bed, and her hair was a roused mess of ink falling around her shoulders.

She resembled some type of dark fairy princess, with her big dark eyes starring Alec down as he crossed the room over to his hamper, where he dropped the towel in. "What?" Alec asked, crossing his arms over his chest cautiously.

"I saw you," Isabelle replied faintly, lowering her eyes to her hands, which were resting upon the fabric of her dress. There she began to fiddle with her fingers, a habit Alec was used to seeing when Isabelle was nervous, anxious—unsure about things.

"Uhh, yeah. You can see me right now too, can't you?" Alec mocked, and walked over to the edge of his bed, laying down on his back beside her. She looked down at him, with tentative eyes, which roamed over the expanse of his face—making him feel less at ease than he was mere moments ago. There was something about her gaze, which spoke unidentifiable words to him.

"No, Alec... I saw you... Last night." Isabelle quirked her perfectly shaped left eyebrow on her ivory flawless forehead. Alec squared his expression at her, the full extent of what she was trying to convey both within her statement and expression, didn't hit him full force at first. But as he laid there in wonder, searching the farthest depths of her deep brown eyes, he saw something he wished he hadn't seen. Alec sat bolt right up, a wave of vertigo hit him right between the eyes at the sharpness of his ascent.

"Iz, you saw... You saw me and..." Alec couldn't quite finish the sentence. His whole body was seized with fear and worry. His own throat threatened to close up on him. He felt all the blood drain from his face, and no doubt he had went sheet white at this point.

"Magnus. I saw you and Magnus, ki—"

"Iz, it's not what it looked like," Alec stood up, and placed his arms out in front of himself. Attempting to create some type of physical barrier between himself and what was to come. Isabelle got off of his bed as well, and stalked over to him, standing on the tips of her toes like the ballet dancer she was—moving across the hardwood floor, delicately.

"Alec, I know what I saw." Isabelle took a few more hesitant steps towards him; almost as if she were sneaking up on a fragile bewildered baby deer, trying desperately not to scare it off. Alec felt his lungs contract—he wasn't breathing. There was no way he could do anything else but think about her revelation—her findings. How could he be so stupid as to kiss Magnus at a party? Where it was obvious enough that someone was going to happen upon them in that lowly lit room... "Alec breathe," Isabelle placed her hands on his shoulders; and instantly by the slightest touch of her hands, he felt only a fraction calmer. He let out a deep gust of air, sinking his shoulders down low—loosening his tightened muscles expenentiary.

"Then—Then what... Do you think of it...?" Alec bit his lip nervously. This day was not supposed to turn out like this. His own sister happening upon something he would have gladly loved to hide from those around him for a very long time. She just stood there and tilted her head a fraction to the right, pursing her lush lips tightly together. "Oh god, Iz," Alec raised his hands to his face, hiding his eyes away from her. "I'm sorry... I'm so sor—"

"Why are you sorry?" Isabelle enquired, pulling at his wrists so she could see his face. He was relentless though, and kept his hands in place, speaking into the palms of his hands; his voice muffled.

"I just, I know you probably don't accept me anymore. And I'm sorry, I just..." Alec was at a lose for words. Really he had no idea what to say to her. If it had been different circumstances in which he could bring this up himself with her, further in the future, he might have been fine—knowing exactly what it was he wanted to say. But right there, in the moment and position he was placed in, nothing seemed to come out right. His mind was scattered all over the place. Who else had seen him and Magnus making out?

"Don't accept you? Alec, you're my brother. Of course I accept you! I love you! I'm just worried that you don't quite accept yourself." Isabelle said in all honestly; her voice seeping with a genuine undercut. Oh, she would never understand how her words lifted his heart in that moment. Alec released his face from his hands, and leaned down to snake his arms around her waist and pull her to his body. Alec was measurably taller than Isabelle, and as he did so he lifted her off the ground.

"Oh thank god." Alec sighed, his breath moving fluidly throughout her hair. Isabelle clasped her hands hard behind Alec's back. "I don't think I accept myself yet either. I mean, I guess I've always known—but I'm not ready to accept it fully Iz." Alec whispered sweetly into her ear, his chest rising to the waves of her own, as if they were connected internally.

"You don't have to be ready right now. I just want to know that you will be okay. And that you aren't rushing into anything." Isabelle sounded deeply concerned, and Alec was thankful for that. It felt as if some sort of huge weight was lifted from his shoulders. Someone knew—besides Magnus—Alec now had another person to talk to, and Alec couldn't be any more happier that it was his sister.

"I don't think I'm rushing into anything... I don't even know what Magnus and I are. We just... kissed." Alec set her back down on her feet, and smiled at her warmly, as she returned the gesture as well.

"But you felt something didn't you?" Isabelle was giddy now. She loved anything to do with relationships, and could talk about them for hours on end—not that he and Magnus were in a relationship or anything. Isabelle was always fascinated whenever Alec became submerged into a new relationship, only for the mere fact that it didn't happen all that often. It was hard for Alec to find that one person who changed everything for him, and possibly the reason as to why it had been hard before was because he was always looking in all the wrong places.

"I guess I did," Alec smirked to himself, and looked down to the floor, shaking his head at the ridiculousness of this situation.

"Just know that I'm here okay?" Isabelle gazed at Alec pointedly, and he shook his head up then down in silent agreement. "Now, c'mon. I'm hungry as a dog. I can smell the bacon from here." Isabelle turned on point and began to flee his room. Alec followed in tow, and before they entered through the kitchen archway, he bent down to whisper in her ear,

"Don't tell anyone else about this Iz, I swear if you do..."

"I promise." She whispered back, and crossed the room to Clary who was neatly laying out dishes over the expanse of the breakfast nook tabletop. They all sat down and enjoyed Clary's egg, toast, and bacon sandwiches—talking and laughing about certain events that had happened at the party. Alec disregard most, if not all, of the information, his mind was so concentrated and distracted by the thought of Magnus holding him last night—and in turn, focused on imaging what could come about later in the day.

A/N: Dun, dun, dun. I wonder who else saw them? Alec needed Isabelle to know. He needs someone who can be there for him, when things get rough or too hard to handle. And Isabelle was the best choice for that, obviously! It will get hard, that is something almost inevitable—and Alec is beginning to realize that; having to dart around his reasons for doing certain things. So no class for Alec today, he will be staying home with his siblings and Clary, unless he can get someone to sneak him out. And really, that is a good thing for him—he needs time in between moments of being around Magnus, or quite honestly he could just die of the overwhelming tremors and shivers which wrack his body constantly. Patience is a virtue needed, until they meet again! The next chapter may take a couple of extra days. I've been writing like a psyco lately (I'm writing a book of some sort!) and I desperately need a break. Forgive me!

Here's a little snippet for you guys!

"How are you supposed to let go of something that continues to haunt you everyday?"

Review pretty please? And another snippet might be coming your way!

Amber,