The Letter You Never Got

by CHICKENSLOVEBONES

But alas the dream team was formed. But you were never really my team were you. You assimilated me into your little dysfunctional group. Calling yourselves my people to distract me from the fact I was becoming one of yours.

5. The be all

I was scared Bones. Gasp! Big strong FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth was scared. Damn strait. I get scared to. It's an emotion, I'm only human. Cam could have died Bones. We all could have died, because it doesn't matter how damn good we all are. By this point we're all running on a fucking miracle.

There are too many people trying to kill us out there. I can't be responsible for being one of them. I can't be the thing that puts you in danger Bones. I told you that. Not in so many words or in that particular order. I believe I phrased it as a line. Kind of like a boundary, keeping my country's crap from infiltrating your clean borders.

But it was really more just for show. Like the Canada/USA border. It was established but never heavily guarded. How hard would it be to invade the other? One just has to take the initiative.

What's your hell look like Bones? Is it the inside of a foreign prison? The one where you are being held on charges you have yet to be informed of. The one where you know something bad is going to happen. Or does it look like the inside of a car. The one with the radio playing and the widows blacked out. Cause I saw my hell bones. It was bleak and black. Time never stopped and you weren't there. And somewhere in the back of my nightmare there was a clock counting down. I never knew what would happen if it ran out, and I couldn't remember what it was counting.

But what am I saying bones. Partners aren't like this. You can't be my everything. What am I even to you, a college, a friend, more, less? You tell me. I'd love to know. Were you as scared as I was? When you got the call did your heart stop? Cause mine did. Strange to say I wouldn't have tried as hard on the ship, if we had never pulled you out of the dirt. Again I ask how's that fair. You get to be my everthing. What do I get?

Why wouldn't you go with him Bones? When sully asked you didn't go. Isn't that the dream 'sail of into the sunset with a man who loves you'? Was that not purposeful enough for you, to be with a man who loves you isn't enough.

You're not afraid to leave. You've proved that time and again. I know you'd leave for a lot of reasons. Was he not a good enough reason? So what was your reason for leaving this last time? And what's a good enough reason to get you to stay?