Stefan is better now but he hasn't come to see me yet. Damon told him that I need time. Which is true. I need to figure out how to tell him everything. To tell him that I don't love him. I've been completely avoiding the boarding house like it's the plague. Damon has been spending almost every moment with me, of course he doesn't tell Stefan where he goes. I think that Stefan may have an idea though. He brings over books from the boarding house. We both spend time going through the dusty pages looking for an answer. I'm sitting up on my bed as Damon is laying on his side. His brows are furrowed as he reads from one of the many books. I smile lightly looking at his features.
Its been a few days since Damon kissed me.
I constantly think about it though. Every moment that I am not looking at these endless words written on these pages, I think about his lips on mine. Thinking about it now, my body gets warm as my cheeks turn a light pink as all of the blood rushes to them. I try harder to concentrate on the blank ink of a jumbled mess on these pages. My mind keeps going back to his lips. I let me hair fall back from behind my ears to in front of my face to try to hide the color spreading across my face.
"Are you ok?" I should have realized that Damon can sense my increased heart beat. I nod with a "yes" motion instead of talking, terrified that my voice will give it away.
Damon's hand reaches up to me. He puts the strands of my loose hair behind my ear, showing my face. I'm sure showing the flushed color. The moment that I feel his finger tips lightly brush my cheek, tracing where my cheek bone is, I take in a sharp breath. I look down at him, his face is so defined. I scan my eyes all over his features, trying to take everything in. I feel like I could spend forever looking at him and I would never truly see all of his beauty.
"What are you looking at?" Damon asks quietly, still running his finger tips lightly across my cheek. My skin burns where he touches me but I don't mind.
"You." I whisper to him, still looking down at him laying on his side.
"Why though?" He asks, no he has dropped his hand from my face. His hand is barely an inch away from mine resting on top of my blanket. My body screams at me to reach out and close that small gap between us. I move my hand the smallest bit closer to his. His finger tips almost touching my own.
"Because you're beautiful." it's the first time that I have said this out loud. The words don't surprise me though.
"It truly is funny how your mind changes now that you know what we have." Damon says smirking at me a little bit but there is a sadness behind it. I shake my head lightly at him, pressing my lips together before I speak again.
"I've always thought that you are beautiful Damon. From the moment that I met you." This is the part that surprises me. Of course I have always thought that Damon is beyond breathtaking, I just never thought that we would be sitting on my bed while I admit this to him. I look down at the book. I peak up through my eyelashes at him. There is a small smile playing at his lips. I can't help but smile at his beauty.
Damon sits up so he is sitting across from me now. He leans over, his lips so close to mine. I can feel a surge go through my body. I open my lips lightly, within a moment his lips are on mine.
Its what I haven't been able to get my mind off of. I can feel the connection between most when his lips are connected with mine. Its not in a bad way though, not like before the first time he kissed me. This is so different. Every moment that has been happy in my life is nothing compared to what I feel going between me and him.
Damon kisses me a little harder as he gets me to lay on my back. Damon is on top of me, one of his hands moves up my shirt just a inch. His hand wraps around my waist fiercely. His skin is soft against my own. Every he touches me though, the same burning feeling stays against my skin. Like embers searing into my flesh. I need more though. I move both of my hands up his black shirt, feeling his abs and his chest. I keep moving my hands up and down trying to feel every shape of him.
Damon moves an arm underneath my back. He pulls my body up into his with force as I hear a light growl escape his throat. I keep kissing him back with just as much as he is giving my as I move my hands across his back now. His lips move away from mine as he starts to kiss his way down my jaw line. He pauses right above my neck. My breathing is heavy at this point. I don't know why he stopped but before I have time to think he leans down and kisses the nape of my neck. A moan escapes my mouth the moment I feel him press down there. I grip onto his back with force, urging him to continue.
"Damon." I whisper out his name so lightly, I know that he'll hear me though. He continues to kiss my neck as his hands make their way up my shirt. I can feel his hunger, most of it is my own though. My hunger for him.
Damon pulls away suddenly, his hands stop moving. He looks up at the ceiling. "You have got to be fucking kidding me." The words come out of his mouth in a low growl. Damon rolls off of me, now sitting on the edge of my bed. My mind is spinning in confusion.
"Damon, what's wrong?" I ask. A thousand different thoughts start running through my head. Then there's a knock at my door.
"Elena?" I hear Stefan's voice on the other side of my door. I mouth the words 'Oh God" as Damon waves his hand at the door, obviously not amused.
"Can you stay?" I plead to Damon. There's no point to whisper it, Stefan will hear.
"Seriously?" Damon asks agitated as he stands up. I nod my head yes, looking up at him. "Fine." Damon says giving into me, throwing his hands up in defeat. Its not just the fact that Stefan's here. I haven't told Damon but every time now that he isn't near me, my whole body feels weak. I even got a temperature yesterday. I haven't told him yet though because I don't want him to worry. He's been trying so hard to try to find something to fix this even though I know that he can't
I get up off of my bed, making my way to my door. I open up my door. Stefan looks a lot better than he did two weeks ago. Stefan looks between me and Damon. I look back at Damon the same time that Stefan is looking at him. Damon gives Stefan a 'What?' kind of look. Stefan tries to ignore it.
"I know that you haven't wanted to see me Elena but can we talk?" His voice screams out a thousand regrets behind his words. You can always hear the remorse in his voice.
"Right now?" I ask. I try to concentrate at the situation at hand but my body knows that Damon is in the room and its crying out for him to have his hands on me.
"I don't see why not, this is really important." I step aside and let Stefan come into the room. I know that I'm irritated, even though I am trying not to be. I close the door behind him. "Damon do you think that you could go?" Stefan asks once he is in the room.
"I don't think so little brother, Elena asked me to stay." Stefan looks at me confused. I sigh in frustration. I don't want to deal with them bickering. I also don't want to have to deal with what is going to happen next.
"I have asked Damon to stay. Can you really blame be Stefan? After what happened the last time that I was with you?" There is an anger behind my words that I can't seem to control.
"You're right and that's what I came here to talk to you about. I'm better now Elena. The whole time that I was down in that cellar I only thought about you, only you. There were so many times that I wanted to give up and just let myself die but I never could actually do it. I couldn't do it because I know that you would never give up on me. You never gave up on me Elena."
Guilt immediately washes over me. I have a feeling that Damon is smirking as he is leaning against my dresser behind me. At the same time though I can feel the connection between us. Like an invisible force pulling me towards him. I try not to concentrate on it.
"Stefan.." I try to say to him but he cuts me off.
"You've been the only person to never give up on me. I didn't want to do that to you." I'm trying to hard to listen to his words. My mind is far gone though. Damon is purposely sending different emotions to me. After what just happened between me and him on the bed, its making this that much harder. That much harder trying to listen to Stefan apologize to me. I bite my bottom lip as I feel the desire come over me. My eyes aren't even looking at Stefan anymore, I'm gazing far off into the distance.
"Elena…Elena?" I can hear Stefan trying to break through to me. Damon lightly laughs in the background breaking my thoughts of his body against mine. I snap out of it looking back at Stefan.
"Hmm?" I completely forgot why Stefan was here for a moment. Stefan's dark eyes travel back and forth between me and Damon. I can see the realization crossing his features.