AN: OMFG THE SEASON FINALE LAST NIGHT MADE ME SCREAM LIKE A 12 YEAR OLD GIRL AT A JONAS BROTHERS CONCERT. HOLY FUCK. First off when Damon kissed Katerine thinking it was Elena I was like "OMFGZ! FINALLY!" but then by the time "Elena" made it into the kitchen and she was putting away the knives I had already figured out it was Katherine and then I got asshurt over the fact that it wasn't Elena that he had kissed. Failure. Then Katherine was all "Rawr!" and she totally killed Elena's real Dad and I went :O then I told my boyfriend about it and he goes "So Douche bag D kisses Slut 2 who he thinks is Slut 1 while Douche bag S is off somewhere else. Right?" -.- He made me make that face. Anyways enough of my ramblings about last nights finale and about how we wont get a new episode for MONTHS. Here is the new chapter. I hope you enjoy. Thank you for the reviews.
I make it up to my bedroom. All hopes and strength that I had to tell Damon that I was ready to be turned. How can I though when the second he sees Katherine that he'll go running back into her arms to live their sadistic lives together. The anger starts welling up inside of me. I begin pacing back in forth in my room. I turn back around to face my window when I see Damon standing there. I step back when I see him a little startled. I should be used to this by now. I crash onto my bed wrapping myself up in the cold of the sheets. I feel the tears slide onto the pillowcase. I don't even bother to wipe them away. I'm so tired of the tears and the pain. Katherine isn't even here and I've already lost Damon.
I'm not too sure how long its been. Only a few days at the most. Everything seems to blend together. The curtains to my room are closed, I don't want to see the sun or feel its warmth. My phone doesn't have any missed calls. I've left my window unlocked every night but he hasn't come back to me. My body was ok the first day, I mean I wasn't the best but I was ok. Now though, I can barely breathe, my whole body aches and my skin is a sickly pale. This pain though is nothing compared to how much my heart is aching. I thought that I had known pain and love before but I realize now that everything before Damon meant nothing. Aunt Jenna comes in to check in on me every now and then. Her voice is a faint echo in the distance. I thought that I heard something about going to the hospital but I just shrugged it off. I don't want to get better. I can't get better. All of this will keep getting worse until I eventually pass from this world. I don't get my happy ending. I don't get the life I wanted. I had finally made my decision, to tell Damon that I was ready for me to turn him. That all means nothing now. Damon will get what he always wanted, him and Katherine living their sadistic lifestyle together.
My dreams have gotten worse with all of this. If I can even call them dreams, they're more of a horrible nightmare. Its not even a fragment of the beautiful dreams that they used to be. I don't want to go back to that place though. It was only beautiful when Damon was with me. I woke myself up the other night because my own screams broke through the nightmare. In some way I was grateful that the nightmare ended even if my lungs hurt from the screams.
I decide to go to the cemetery with the little strength that I have left. I get ready as usual to try to fool Jenna from thinking that I'm still "sick". I couldn't tell her this was all over a guy, she would think that I am being over dramatic and tell me to be strong. This is so much more than that though. The sun has just set leaving the Virginia sky scattered with dozens of silver stars. It isn't as beautiful as it was in my dreams with Damon but it has been too long without them. Seeing the sky breaks my heart even more, something that I didn't think was possible.
I make my way to the cemetery. I don't know if I will see this place again, I'm scared of how many days I have left. Even in the dark I can make my way to my parents grave. They may not have been my real parents but that never mattered. They were the best family that I've ever had. I never thought that I would have happiness in my life after their deaths but then Damon was the light in my dark world. Something that I would have never thought. I can barely even remember the days that he was a monster. He was so much more than that to me.
I lean down in the grass, my jeans getting damp from the dew clinging to the blades of grass. I run my fingertips across the cold stone. I can feel where their names are etched in. In some ways I'm glad that they haven't been around to see some of the things that have gone on. In other ways though, I wish they could have been here with me. I know that things would have been so different. I may not have met Stefan or Damon. I shake that thought away from me though, just trying to remember all of the good times that I had with my parents before the accident.
The night continues on, I don't mind though. The lights in the cemetery begin to go dim. It must be getting close to dawn. In the surrounding trees I can hear a rustling of leaves. It startles me and I sit up quickly becoming more aware of my surroundings. The noise happens again. I stand up, quickly shaking the few traces of dead leaves off of my jeans. I knew it wasn't exactly safe for me to be coming outside. Not with vampires loose so close to Mystic Falls. I stand completely still trying to listen in the silence for some evidence that what I was hearing was real. That's when it happens, that's when I hear the crow.
Just like so many months ago when I was here writing in my journal. It was Damon, its always been Damon. I run out of the cemetery as fast as my legs will push me. My feet pound against the raw earth as I cut through the woods back to the sidewalk leading to my house. I know this place well enough. I keep running managing to avoid tripping the whole time. I break out of the woods finally hitting the sidewalk.
The porch light is on. I pause for only a moment. I continue running until I hit the steps leading up to the door. I stop right there, on my porch in front of the door. I look around and there he is. Standing there with a look on his face that I haven't seen before. I can feel an emotion rolling off of his body and onto mine, its one that I haven't felt from Damon before and I can't seem to place what it is.
Right now though, I really don't care because he's here right in front of me. Dressed in all black, with a long sleeved button down black shirt. His pale skin illuminated beyond perfection in the night. A perfect contrast of light and dark. His black hair in loose strands hanging around his face. I try to take all of him in, his piercing eyes, every single piece of him. My heart is pounding furiously in my chest. My hands begin to shake lightly. Damon moves a step closer to me. I can feel my blood coursing fast through my veins now. The pain I have been feeling in my body the past few days is completely numbed by his presence.
"Damon…" I whisper breaking the silence between us.
"I know that you want an explanation for me leaving you the other day. What I did was completely wrong in so many ways. When Isobel said what she did….about Katherine…I went looking. Not for her but to try to find another cure for you Elena. The realization of Katherine made me realize that I don't want you to be that way Elena. I don't ever want you to be like her or to turn into what she has. More importantly, I wouldn't be able to take it if you ever left me. I wouldn't be able to look for you for a century, I wouldn't last that long without you."
"I'm not Katherine though Damon." Its something I have had to say too many times.
"I know you aren't though Elena. That's something that I am sure of. You are so different from her in so many ways. That was the reason why I was trying to find another way besides turning you. I know that you're dying Elena. I can feel it pouring off of you and it gets worse by the day. There isn't another way. I wasn't sure if it was what you wanted but I really don't care at this point because I'm not going to have you die. I wont make the mistakes that other vampires have. I wont go on in this life without you. I already have enough regret to try to live with the regret of losing you." I can tell there is a passion mixed with anger in his voice. I don't give him time to say anything else. I quickly close the gap between us pushing myself against him. I push my lips against his soft ones. His lips quickly meet my pace. I can feel the hunger behind him.
Damon breaks away leaving my bottom lip quivering.
"I love you Elena." His voice is soft. It was the emotion I could feel coming from Damon, I just couldn't place what is was. For the first time in days I smile and I mean it with everything that I am.
"I love you too Damon."