Chapter 4: A Little More You

"All a girl really wants is for one guy to prove to her that they are not all the same." –Marilyn Monroe

SPOV

Getting to sleep after Eric dropped me off was damn near impossible. I felt like I was floating and for the first time in my life, reality was better than anything I could have dreamed up. Of course no one wants to reveal their flaws on a first date so I was left to wonder what Eric's imperfections might be since they weren't made visible to me at all. Even his scars were perfect and he had quite a few of them. I couldn't help but wonder how many more there were that I hadn't seen.

Of course that led to picturing him naked which didn't help my cause one bit. When I woke up I couldn't remember a single one of my dreams so I don't know if I dreamed of Eric or not but I'm sure I did. I was reluctant to get out of bed but it was well after ten and I hated feeling like I was wasting the day away. The sun was out and a quick look out my bedroom window told me there wasn't a cloud in the sky.

I dashed to the bathroom to take care of my usual morning business before heading to the kitchen to start up a pot of coffee. My brain doesn't function properly without coffee. I caught a glimpse of the flowers Eric had brought me the night before and I couldn't help smiling. They were absolutely perfect. Not a single rose in the bunch. Not that I didn't like roses but they always seemed so lazy to me, almost like they were an after thought. Roses had reached cliché status for a reason. I much preferred wildflowers to roses any day of the week.

Hell, I would have been happy with a fistful of dandelions. I went into the kitchen to smell the flowers and grinned at the light scent of the daffodils and lilies before going back to the kitchen to get started on breakfast. I had a whole list of chores that needed to be done before I could really get to enjoying my weekend. My first big plan was to spend a good hour out in the sunshine, working on my tan. Maybe I'd do some gardening.

I didn't have the greenest thumb out there but I'd gotten into the habit of lawn maintenance thanks to Gran and her love of flowers. I couldn't count the number of hours I'd spent on my knees, pulling weeds and helping Gran plant one thing or another. Jason used to complain all the time about having to mow the lawn but I gladly would have traded him for weed pulling. Why he seemed to think I was getting the better deal I'll never know.

I played back the messages on the machine, hoping there would be one from Eric. I knew it was early but there wasn't anything wrong with hoping. I'd just gotten my bacon into a pan when the coffee finished. I poured myself a cup while I listened to the messages. I had one from Amelia, calling to remind me that I better inform her of how my date went. The next message was from Jason, asking me to come over Sunday afternoon for supper. The third message was from Maria, letting me know she would be running over a spare key for me so I could collect the mail and water her plants while she and Alcide were on their honeymoon. As the last message beeped, I sucked in a breath. This was it; the moment of truth.

"Sookie, it's me," Bill's Rhett Butler accent filled my ears and I groaned. "I got in earlier tonight and I came by to see you but you weren't home. I'd really like to see you. I think we have some things we need to discuss. Please call me back at your earliest convenience."

Fuck. That. I deleted all the messages. I really needed to change my phone number. Or one better, maybe I needed to let Quinn know that Bill was back in town. Bill and I had a somewhat complicated history. He was my first serious boyfriend. We had dated on and off from about junior year of high school up until just after I graduated from college. I dumped him for good when I caught him making passes at my friend Tara just to spite me. I wasn't in the mood to play games with him and I really hated that he would stoop so low as to try and make me jealous.

Even worse, Tara was extremely uncomfortable about the whole thing and I couldn't blame her. She knew all to well what kind of shit Bill was capable of and in no way did she want anything to do with him. Bill was my first love and it hurt like hell when he broke up with me over Thanksgiving break our first semester of college. What hurt worse was when he brought home a new girlfriend over the Christmas break not even a month later. I suspected he'd already been seeing her before he broke up with me but he would never admit it if he was.

Bill could rot, for all I cared. If he was calling to tell me he wanted to give things another try, he was about three years too late. I wasn't interested in him anymore. It took every ounce of kindness I had just to be civil with him and even my ability to give him that little bit was slipping. Frankly, I should have just cut him out entirely but that was easier said than done in a town as small as ours, and made even more difficult given that he was my nearest neighbor. But that didn't mean we had to be besties either.

I flipped my bacon over before it started burning and drank some more of my coffee. I wasn't going to spend my morning brooding over what Bill might want from me. Instead I turned on the radio and adjusted the station until I got to the rock music. I didn't usually listen to that particular station but I figured I could give it a chance. I told myself it wasn't because of Eric but I knew that was a total lie.

By the time I was sitting down to eat about fifteen minutes later I still hadn't heard a single song I recognized. Oh well, it was probably for the best. I ate while looking through the newspaper I'd picked up from my front porch. The most fascinating thing I saw was Maxine Fortenberry's recipe for an Apple Brown Betty, and even that wasn't thrilling. Gran's was much better.

After breakfast I got to work on my chores, starting with the dirty dishes. A load of laundry was gathered after that and started in the machine on the mud porch. While the clothes washed I swept the kitchen floor and hauled out the vacuum so I could do the downstairs. The upstairs portion of the house only got tidied up once a month since it wasn't really being used anymore.

I'd always lived in the room across the hall from Gran up until she passed on and the house became mine. Since it was just me and I was now living in Gran's old room, there was no need to do much with the upstairs. Jason still had some of his stuff up there and I kept a bed ready for him just in case he and Crystal got into an argument. So far he'd only had to seek refuge here twice, which I considered to be pretty good considering I knew how infuriating my brother could be.

He had a good heart; he was just lazy. He said a lot of things without thinking a lot of the time and despite having grown up under the same roof I did, his manners left a lot to be desired. But he was good with Evie so I couldn't really fault him. I would have thought he'd run as fast as his bum knee could take him when Crystal told him she was pregnant. He'd had a little bit of panic there in the beginning but I couldn't really blame him for that either. He and Crystal hadn't been together for very long when she found out she was pregnant.

When Jason suggested the baby might not be his, I smacked him upside the head. I hated it when men tried to use that as an excuse to shirk responsibility. If a guy doesn't want to be a father, he can just call his girlfriend a whore and claim she slept with someone else. That really, really bugs me and I was furious with Jason for pulling a stunt like that. When I straight up asked him if he thought Crystal had cheated, he admitted he didn't think that was the case. I almost smacked him a second time just to be sure the first one took. Lord knows the worst I would do is spook the squirrels that lived in there.

I got the dry line all set up out back to hang my wet clothes on. Letting everything dry in the honeysuckle scented air always appealed more to me than using the dryer, unless it was icy cold outside. Winter and I weren't exactly friends but we got along as nicely as we could. I was a summer girl who preferred warmer temperatures conducive to sunbathing. Tanning was my biggest vice—next to coffee.

I did my vacuuming and dusted everything off before going out to the front to sweep the porch there, all the while keeping an ear out for the phone. When it did ring, it was just Sam calling to find out if I'd be interested in picking up a shift at the bar on Tuesday since Arlene had year end parent/teacher conferences to attend. I was hesitant to do it, thinking that might be the one night Eric would be free to go out.

But then I chided myself for being selfish. Arlene and I had had our differences in the past, but I adored her kids. So for their sake, I agreed to cover for their mother. Besides, having a little extra cash in my pocket wouldn't be so bad. My student loans were kicking my ass big time and the sooner I could pay those bitches off, the happier I'd be. I made decent money as a nurse in Dr. Ludwig's office but probably not as much as I'd make if I went to work at one of the big hospitals in Shreveport, or at the trauma center in Clarice.

"Can you be here at five?" Sam asked hopefully.

"I'll see if I can get off a little early. I might need to borrow uniform though. I don't think I have one lying around here anywhere." I reminded him.

"Not a problem. Thanks, Sook, you're a lifesaver," Sam said with relief.

"No trouble, Sam. See you Tuesday." I hung up shortly after that and got back to my chores.

o.O.o.O.o

Jesus, I was pathetic. I'd never been one of those girls who waited around to see if the phone rang (at least not after a first date) and yet, the idea of going to the grocery store lost all appeal to me at the thought of missing Eric's call. When the hell did I revert to being sixteen? I shook my head at myself but still hung around the house, inventing chores for myself to do instead of getting on with my life like I should have.

A watched pot never boils, I kept telling myself and forced my eyes away from the phone, like I could actually will it to ring if I stared at it hard enough. I think I took the fastest shower of my life when I finally decided there were no other chores that needed to be done. Like the pathetic sap I had become, I immediately checked the answering machine when I was done just in case I hadn't heard the phone ring. Nothing.

Keep it up and he won't call.

The thought of not hearing from Eric again made me a little sick to my stomach. Doubts started to creep into my mind when it was almost dinner time and I had yet to hear from him. He'd said he'd had a good time the night before and I believed him… but maybe it wasn't as special to him as it was to me. Ugh. I hated feeling the way I did. How was it possible to be so strung out over a guy after just one date?

Okay, so it was an amazing date, but still…

I decided I needed to get out of the house and stop obsessing. He would call when he called. Staring at the phone was obviously not going to make him call any sooner and I really did need to go to the grocery store. With a heavy sigh I went in search of my favorite flip flops and slipped them on. I was totally dragging my feet on leaving, hoping he would call before I left and not while I was gone.

The phone remained silent and if it could've given me a taunting smile, I'm sure it would have. Bastard electronics. I walked aimlessly around the grocery store, grabbing the things I needed as I passed them. I had no idea what I wanted for dinner but I knew I needed to come up with a plan of some kind. That got me thinking about the possibility of maybe having Eric over for dinner at some point, but that would require he actually call me.

Stop it, Sookie! He'll call when he's ready!

When I got home there weren't any messages on the machine. I was putting groceries away when there was a knock on the screen door at the back porch. I stopped what I was doing in time to see Bill walking toward the back door. Fantastic! Just what I needed. I groaned and steadied myself for another round of why-don't-you-love-me, since that seemed to be his favorite game for us to play.

"What are you doing here, Bill?" I sighed as I reached for the canister I kept my cereal in.

"I left you a message last night. I need to discuss something with you," he said, apparently just as ready to skip the pleasantries as I was. Good. Maybe we'd get through this shit a little quicker that way.

"Yes, and I've been busy." I snapped at him, gesturing to my pristine kitchen.

"Judith is pregnant," he said without bothering to ease me into the topic.

I wasn't sure what he was expecting me to say but what came out was, "Congratulations." I mean, honestly, why would I care? Who he knocked up ceased to be a concern of mine right around the time I told him we were over for good.

"This doesn't bother you?" He looked disturbed by that.

"No, Bill, it doesn't bother me. Why would it? We haven't been together in years. I'm glad you've moved on." I shrugged and started putting my cold items in the fridge.

He was quiet, even for him, and just stood in the doorway for a while, watching me while I worked. His eyes on me felt all kinds of wrong and it was hard to imagine a time when I needed him more than I needed oxygen. Of course that was my teenage brain at work. Back then everything felt so all or nothing, life and death. But it dawned on me, as Bill continued to watch me like a total creeper, that I'd never felt the same level of comfort with him as I did with Eric.

"Look, Bill, I'm seeing someone." I figured I might as well get it out there. Maybe that would help unfuck whatever had clogged in his brain. "It's new and I'm not sure where it's going but I really like him. So if you came over here thinking we could give things another shot, that's not going to happen."

Bill remained uncharacteristically silent for having just been rejected. I realized he was off somewhere else mentally, even though his body was leaned against the door frame. I sighed and went over to the kitchen table to sit down.

"Do you want to talk about this Judith thing?" I asked, hoping he would either say whatever the hell it was he wanted to say, or just get the hell out.

He snapped out of it, straightened up a little and slowly made his way over to the chair across from mine at the table. I was thankful he didn't try to sit next to me because that would have been too much. I really didn't need him clutching on me while he poured his heart out. Just listening to him was my good deed for the month.

"I'm not sure how I feel about being a father. You know I've always been on the fence where children are concerned and this pregnancy wasn't planned," Bill confessed with a hint of shame. "She wants to get married, Sookie."

I took a deep breath and reminded myself that smacking Bill upside the head the way I had Jason probably wouldn't be as effective, even if I pretty much always wanted to smack Bill for one reason or another. "Do you love her?"

"Of course I love her," Bill said as if I should have known and I narrowed my eyes at him. "I mean, yes, I love her. She's a good person and I do enjoy spending time with her."

"It sounds like you're talking about a close friend or a relative and not a girlfriend." I screwed up my face in an expression of confusion. "I guess I should have asked if you're in love with her."

"I used to be," Bill shrugged.

"And she still thinks you are in the present, I'm guessing," I sighed and shook my head. "Who'da thought you and Jason would end up having something in common besides me?" I bit back my laugh when Bill gave me a that's-only-funny-to-you face. Whatever, sour puss.

"She's refusing to discuss the options. Judith is going to have the baby with, or without me, and she's not giving me a choice in the matter." Bill pouted.

"William Thomas Compton, are you telling me you tried to talk her into having an abortion?" I glared at him and his guilty expression was all I needed to know I was right. "You son of a bitch."

"I didn't ask for this!" He whined as if it mattered.

"And she did? Or are you going to be a stereotypical asshat and claim she's trying to trap you? Newsflash: birth control is never 100 percent effective! Women get pregnant while on birth control. Condoms break, a pill gets skipped…whatever the situation, pregnancy happens. That's the risk you take by having sex with someone, Bill. You know this." I shook my head and found myself incredibly thankful I never told him about the pregnancy scare I'd had back when I was twenty.

We'd gotten back together for all of six weeks and during that time; we'd had more sex than we'd had in all of our sexual past with each other. I wasn't taking birth control at that point so we were relying solely on condoms. I couldn't recall one breaking and we sure as hell never had sex without one, but about two weeks after we broke up again, I realized my period was late.

The following five days had been spent taking pregnancy tests and praying to God that my cycle had just gotten knocked off course. Every test I took was negative and when my period finally came, I strongly considered a vow of abstinence until marriage so I would never have to go through something like that ever again. That way, when I thought I was pregnant, I would be happy about it.

Having a baby with Bill after our first breakup never appealed to me. Hell, if I was completely honest with myself, the sex was decent but it really wasn't worth all the confusion and frustration it ended up causing me. Ultimately I learned it was probably a bad idea to have an ex as a fuck buddy.

Bill did the trout mouth thing, where he tried to find a rational argument to refute my points but he was just spinning his wheels. The phone rang and I was thankful for the sound. Eric's face popped into my head and I sincerely hoped it was him so I would have a reason to tell Bill to get out. I couldn't help him with this problem of his. He made his own mess.

"Hello?" I said when I got to the phone.

"Hello yourself," Eric's voice filled me and I grinned like a child finding out they were going to Disney World for the first time.

"How are you?" I wanted to do my little happy dance that looked a hell of a lot like Chandler dancing on Friends, but I couldn't do that with Bill sitting a few feet away.

"I'm a little shaken up right now, to be honest," Eric admitted and my urge to happy dance died completely. Fuck, was he going to tell me he didn't want to see me again after all?

Shit, I needed to get rid of Bill. "Eric, can you hang on for a second?"

"Sure," he said and I covered the mouthpiece of the phone.

"Bill, I'm sorry but I have to take this and it's personal so can we talk about this some other time?" I asked him, hoping that 'other time' would be never, or when he finally decided to man up and take care of his responsibilities.

"Is that the new guy?" He asked with a hint of jealousy.

I rolled my eyes and said, "Yes, it is. Now scoot before I get my shotgun."

I wasn't kidding. I kept a loaded shotgun behind the water heater, which was within reaching distance of where I was currently standing. Bill didn't scramble to get up but he knew me well enough to know I wasn't fooling around. Instead of passing me to go out the back door, he went through the front.

Sure, Bill, you're welcome. Thanks for coming by to unload your clusterfuck of a situation into my lap. Hope its twins!

"Sorry about that," I said into the phone after I heard the front door close. "My ex came by to tell me the oh-so-happy news that his current girlfriend is pregnant."

"You don't sound impressed."

"I don't really care one way or another, to be honest. Bill and I broke up about three years ago and what he does with his life isn't really my concern anymore. I hope things work out for him and his current girlfriend, especially if there's a baby involved. I may not be Bill's biggest fan but that kid deserves to have two parents in its life, and even better if they love each other." I shrugged.

"That's very gracious of you."

"No point in being bitter or jealous. Bill isn't mine anymore and I don't want him to be, if that's what you might be thinking." I told him.

"No, I was actually thinking about how much better I feel just hearing your voice, even if you're talking about an ex-boyfriend." Eric confessed and what little bit of ice had formed around my heart, thanks to Bill, started to melt away.

"If I didn't know any better, Eric, I might think that was a line," I smiled into the phone.

"Nope, just the truth. I've had to restrain myself from calling you for the better part of the day."

"Why did you do that?" My eyes went wide at the thought we were probably staring at our phones at the same time for the better part of the day. "You could have saved us both some frustration."

"Does that mean you were sitting around waiting for me to call?" He chuckled and I knew I was busted. "Oh, come on, Sookie; don't leave me hanging out on this creepy, stalker limb all by myself."

I laughed and said, "I don't think it's creepy, and yes, you wouldn't be alone on the limb."

"Well, at least we're both in the same boat," he sighed and I wished he was standing there next to me so I could squeeze his hand or something. "Listen, I uh, I know it's probably against dating rules of etiquette or something, but I was wondering if you've eaten yet?"

I covered the phone and did a silent scream thing and officially let myself do that damn Chandler dance. Get it together, you nutter!, I cleared my throat and said, "No, I haven't. I was actually just trying to decide what to make. You could come over."

Did I really just say that? Yes, yes, I did. Thank God I cleaned the house.

"I could do that," he said and I could hear his smile. "Want me to bring anything?"

"Just you. Oh, and I don't really keep anything in my fridge to drink except milk, iced tea and white wine." I warned him.

"Got it." There was a pause then and I wondered if he was doing his own version of the Chandler dance on his end. Maybe something with yummy hip thrusts. "So I'll see you soon then?"

"Soon." I nodded, not that he could see it. "I'm glad you called."

"Me too," he whispered.

We said our goodbyes and hung up. After another round of Chandler dancing, I hauled ass to my bedroom to get changed.

Freaking Bill is such a knob, I swear. We won't be seeing a whole lot of him, I don't think. I don't particularly like writing him. His tendency to whine gets on my nerves. But I think Sookie handled him well considering how smitfaced she is right now. Thanks for reading!