A/N: Is this my longest chapter yet? I don't know… it might be.

Anyway, I really hope you guys enjoy it. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed/added to favorites/ alerted, this story. You guys are the best, always keeping me inspired.

Enjoy.

Chapter 19: Never Let You Go

My hands clutched onto the steering wheel, palms sweaty, arms heavy. Eyes staring out onto the road. Desperately trying to avoid meeting the gaze that burned holes into the side of my face. His presence in the car making me nervous. Every bone in my body rattling with fear.

Jacob's hand never left my thigh. It stayed there throughout the ride, squeezing lightly to remind me that he was next to me. That I shouldn't be ignoring him. Yet, for some reason, he never said anything to me. Perhaps his hormones were calming down.

When I took a right and slowed down as I neared my house, he cleared his throat. "Keep driving."

"Actually," I started, pulling up behind my dad's car. "I'm tired."

"Nee, you know you can sleep in other places besides your bedroom."

Turning my head to look at him, I tried to cover up the fact that I was still not used to his new look and his wild behavior. "Jacob, go home. You need to sleep, just like I do. We can talk some other time. It's late."

In truth, it wasn't too late, but I was going to listen to Sam for once. He'd told me to go home, that Jacob wasn't in his right mind at the moment after his.. journey. So considering the fact that Jacob had obviously broken free of their hold and followed me, I decided to keep it cool. Make him believe that I trusted him. Only to send him home minutes later.

It wasn't genius but it would do.

And whatever kind of 'journey' he was on, he could tell me about it when he was normal again.

"But I don't want to go home," he said, eyes saddening. "I want to be with you. It's been too long."

"Jake." I sighed, placing my hand over his which clung to my thigh. "I don't.. I'm too tired to talk-"

"We don't have to talk." Bringing his free hand up to my face, he cupped my cheek. "We'll just lay down on your bed, and I'll tell you about everything. You do want to know where I've been right?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I do. But not right now, maybe in a couple of days? It's too soon, I've been through enough as it is."

Running his thumb over my lips, he sighed. "Can't I just sleep with you?"

"No, I'm sorry. My parents wouldn't like that and.. you wouldn't want to upset them would you?"

He shook his head, sucking his lower-lip into his mouth. "My dad wouldn't mind if you slept with me, why don't you come-"

"Jacob Ephraim Black," I said exasperatedly. "We can't sleep together at all, okay? I don't want to sleep with you. So just leave, and I'll see you soon."

Dropping his hand from my face as though it burned him, his body started to tremble. "But we've slept together before, and you wanted me then. You liked sleeping with me."

Tears stung my eyes as I stared at him. He looked so hurt and lost, reminding me of a little kid. All he wanted was for me to love him. To want him. But this wasn't the Jacob I knew, this was him sleep-deprived and desperate for affection. And as much as I wanted to be with him, I knew that he needed time to come back to his senses.

Just like Sam had said.

"Please, Jake," I whispered, giving him a half-smile. "Go home and sleep. For me."

Like mine, his eyes grew watery. "Nee, I love you. I don't want to leave you."

"I love you too, and I… don't want.. you to leave. But your friends need you and so does Billy. He'll be worried about you."

"Nina, please let me stay with you. I promise I won't talk, I'll be quiet. I'll do anything you want. Just let me be with you tonight. I really need you," his voice broke at the end. Tears spilling from his eyes. "I've been so lonely."

To see him cry twice in the space of thirty minutes broke my heart. The idea of forcing him to leave seeming so cruel— even if it was the right thing to do. So I killed the engine, and exited the car. Jacob following close behind.

Opening the front door, I listened for any signs of movement. When I was sure no one was awake, I took his hand in mine and pulled him inside. Shutting the door quietly behind, before leading him up the stairs to my room.

The bedroom was in a pretty bad way; clothes strewn about, notebooks on the floor, bed sheets a tangled mess. Being away from him for so long made me quite careless. I hadn't had the energy to do anything but sleep.

Jacob wrapped his arms around me from behind, pressing butterfly kisses up and down my neck. "You go sleep," he whispered against my skin. "I'll clean your room."

Never in my entire life had I heard of someone's boyfriend cleaning their messy bedroom. It was unheard of. Yet, here was the local shape-shifter, that towered over every guy in the town and had abs of steel, offering to clean mine. While I slept!

"T-Thank you," I managed to say. Shocked.

"You're always welcome." Pressing one last kiss to my neck, he unwrapped his arms from around me and bent down to gather my notebooks.

But I couldn't fight back my guilt. Cleaning wasn't what he'd come here to do.

Turning around, I took his face into my hands. "Forget about the mess, Jake. Come sleep with me."

"Okay," he answered automatically, raising back up to his full height. Notebooks dropping from his hands to the floor.

As we slipped into bed, the dazed look he'd had earlier appeared on his face once again. The look that meant he wanted to love me until his heart's content. There was no denying that it made him that much more beautiful. Mouthwatering. However, I wasn't going to give in.

Now wasn't the right time for… anything.

Laying down on my side, he snuggled up behind me. Burying his face into my hair. Strong arms wrapped securely around my waist, holding my body against his. The heat he emanated stronger than ever before. Relaxing me.

Closing my eyes, I thought back on the day's events. He'd scared me back at his place, shocking me with his straightforwardness and stubbornness. His passion had been overwhelming, almost resulting in me surrendering to him. Then again, it was his suckling on my scar that made me submit.

Speaking of the scar, why had it affected me that way? It was only a mark the bite had left behind. Not only that but he seemed to have known it'd stir those emotions in me. Powerful emotions that revolved around love and lust. Was he not telling me something?

Jacob had a lot to tell me, starting from him running away for a month. There was no sane excuse for that. It was mental. And it had driven him mental, turning him into a lovesick puppy with wants and needs that I couldn't satisfy.

What if he remained that way? Then what? I didn't even want to think of that.

"Nee?," he whispered suddenly.

"Hmm," I murmured, half-asleep.

"Goodnight."

"Mmmnight."

And with that, I drifted off into my strange world of dreams.

"I'll be with you everywhere, not matter where you are," he said, eyes piercing mine. "And if you ever need me, I'm just a phone call away. You know I'll run a million miles to see you."

Choking on my sobs, I managed to nod. "I k-know that Jake, I-I love y-y-you."

"I love you more."

We were standing in the middle of my room, his hands on my waist, my hands on his face. His eyes bloodshot from the crying he'd been doing over the past week. Mine exactly the same.

"Come with me to the airport, I c-can't say goodbye here. There's t-too many memories."

Furrowing his eyebrows, he swallowed thickly. "I wish I could, but I can't. We can't risk your parents finding out about us."

"I don't care about them anymore." Standing up on my tip-toes, I kissed his chin. "I only care about you."

"Nina, if they find out… they'll piece things together."

"What do you mean?," I asked, running the tip of my nose over his jaw bone.

He sighed. "It's complicated."

"Jake," I chuckled humorlessly, leaning backwards to stare up into his face. "We tell each other everything. Complicated or not."

"But this is different," he said, looking away. "This is very different."

Taking a step backwards, I shoved his hands away. "Jacob don't be like this. Not now. Not when I'm leaving."

"Promise you won't freak out."

"I won't."

"And please don't do anything stupid." His eyes pleaded with me. "It's our responsibility, not yours."

I forced a smile. "I promise."

"Nina we're-"

My eyes fluttered open as Jacob shifted next to me. The bed creaking under his massive weight. Rolling onto my back, I turned my head to look at him. He was sitting up against the headboard, pain twisting his flushed face. Hands clutching onto his stomach.

Sitting up on my elbow, I reached out to stroke his thigh, affectionately. "Jake what's wrong? Are you sick?"

"Yeah," he panted, his Adam's apple bobbing as he gulped. "My head hurts, so does my tummy."

"I'll go get you some medicine," I said, pushing myself up and pressing my palm to his forehead. "Jacob! You're burning!"

Squeezing his eyes shut, he managed to force a smile. "I am hotter than your average human."

"True," I agreed, but it still wasn't reassuring enough. "I'll be right back-"

"Don't bother, medicine won't work. I've got a high metabolism."

All the traits that came with being a shape-shifter drove me insane. They just weren't normal. Jacob was barely human. And to think that there was probably tons more things I still hadn't found out about… I wasn't even sure if I wanted to know what they were. It was all too much.

Deciding against asking him for permission on what I was about to do, I began to undo the button on his jeans. There was no point in him laying there with a temperature with that extra layer on. Besides, he didn't seem to mind anyway. His eyes still squeezed shut.

It had taken me some difficulty to get them off his long, muscular legs. His russet skin like velvet against my knuckles as I dragged them down. When I'd finally dropped them onto the floor, I couldn't help but ogle him for a minute. Admiring his natural beauty. A pair of black boxers shielding his nakedness from me. Truly breathtaking.

Gosh, I loved him so much it was unhealthy.

Parting his legs, he opened his eyes to slits. "Come lay with me."

Not giving it a second thought, I crawled into the space between his legs and lay down. My head resting on his tummy. "How are you going to get better?" I asked, pecking one of his abs. "Without medicine?"

"It'll pass.. I think. Never happened before."

"But I'm worried about you. Maybe you should go see Sam?," I suggested, thoughtfully.

He scoffed, displeased with my idea. "I'm not leaving you. Not tonight."

Uh oh…. I'd thought he'd gone back to normal.

"What if you get worse Jake, then what?"

"I won't." Running his fingers through my hair, he caressed the back of my neck. "I could never get worse sleeping with you honey. I love you too much, it'd be impossible."

Although he was being incredibly sweet, he wasn't making any sense. "So let's sleep then. You'll feel better sooner."

Sliding downwards so he could lay back down on the pillow, my head no longer rested on his tummy but his heaving chest. Our legs tangled together. "Your voice makes me feel better, it's beautiful," he murmured.

No matter how different Jacob was acting, he still managed to be the most adorable guy I'd ever known. Never in a million years would I have thought I'd be with someone as wonderful as him. I could still remember the day I had first seen him and how I'd felt. He was so perfect. Out of my league.

Yet here we were, four months later, laying together in my bed. And all I was doing was trying to get him to sleep because he was acting strangely after a strange disappearance. When I could be returning his affections. After all, this was what I'd wished for right?

But still, I couldn't ignore the fact that Jacob wasn't his normal self. As much as I wanted to give into him.

"You're beautiful," I told him, running my fingers up his bulging bicep. Meaning every word I said.

Grabbing a fistful of my hair, he tilted my head backwards, our eyes meeting. "You're the only one who's ever said that."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. "No, that's impossible."

"It's true." He smiled. "At school they call me hot, sexy, hunky, and Isabella Swan once called me sort of beautiful. But no one's ever called me beautiful. Except for you Nee."

"But you're so perfect, you're so…" I trailed off, at a loss for words. Nothing could describe his magnificence. He was Jacob Ephraim Black. That's all that needed to be said.

Leaning upwards towards me, he searched my eyes. "Can I kiss you? I was very.. excited earlier but I'm.. I'm going to control myself w-with you.. now."

"Yes," I whispered automatically, but a thought sprung to my head. "But Jake."

"Hmm?" he sounded, eyelids drooping with lust.

"Please don't touch my scar, it makes me feel strange."

He chuckled quietly, pressing his forehead to mine. "You're connected to me from there."

"Connected?"

"Yes." Pressing a kiss to my lips, he continued. "My DNA is inside of you. It's strongest there because that's where it started… when I bit you."

My lips parted in shock. "Oh my…"

"I'm always inside of you, always," he whispered huskily before closing the space between us. Kissing me deeply.

Tremors ran throughout my body the instant his full lips claimed mine. Causing my arms and legs to shake with yearn and need. My hands clutching onto his broad shoulders for dear life. His intoxicating aroma filling my lungs as I breathed him in. So divine.

The wetness of his tongue sliding over my bottom lip had me moaning, dying to taste him again. And almost immediately, I granted him access. Our muscles sliding sensually over each other, neither of us fighting for dominance. The moment too precious for those flirtatious games.

Jacob groaned into my mouth, and in one quick movement, rolled us over so that I was no longer on top of him, but beneath him and his massive body. The fact that his muscles had doubled in size gave me more to touch, to feel, as I ran my hands up and down his back. His skin slick with sweat, making it easier for my palms to glide over his muscularity.

Breaking the kiss, he peppered kisses all over my face, his gaze meeting mine briefly. For that second, I noticed how red the white of his eyes were and how pale his tanned face had gone. But before I had the chance to study him longer, he lowered his face to the crook of my neck. Gasping for breath.

"Jake, you're sick. You need to go home," I said shakily, still recovering from our heated make-out session.

"Nee," he whined miserably. "I think I'm gonna be.. ah-"

Suddenly, he jumped off the bed with a loud thud and ran over to my tiny garbage can. Leaning over it as he threw up into it, his left arm wrapped around his midsection. As though it'd somehow stop him from vomiting.

Scrambling out of the bed as quick as I could, I ran to his side. Rubbing his back soothingly. "Let it all out okay? I'm going to get you a glass of water, I'll be right back."

As quietly as I could, I slipped out of the room and tip-toed down the hall. Unfortunately, someone had woken up and to my utter disappointment, it was my dad. He was dressed in his navy pajamas, his hair sticking out in all directions. This was bad. Very bad.

"Nina? What the hell is going on? You're lucky your mother didn't wake up."

Scratching the back of my neck, I shrugged. "I just wasn't feeling too good, so I uh.. I'm going to get myself some water."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "You're not finishing any homework at this hour are you?"

"What? No! Dad come on, I just don't feel well."

"You look fine to me," he stated. Crossing his arms.

I sighed. "Dad just go back to bed, I won't disturb you again. I promise."

"Fine, but if I hear anything again, I'm coming in to check on you." He warned. "I'm serious."

"Okay, I understand."

Turning towards his bedroom door, he looked back over at me. "I will come in Nina, I won't knock."

"Goodnight dad."

That had been so typical of my him. Giving me warnings because he hardly believed a thing I said anymore. Not that I had been honest with him, I was lying— something I'd been doing a lot for Jacob's sake. But it seemed to me that my dad never really trusted in me, and it was sad when I thought of it. All I'd ever been was a good daughter to him.

Besides, I didn't lie to his face every day. Just when I needed to see Jacob at a late hour, and that wasn't very often. I just hoped that maybe sometime in the near future our family would go back to normal. That mom and dad would stop fighting, and that Joey could live his life without shedding a tear for every time his parents fought.

And I really wished and hoped that my family would accept Jacob.

The trip downstairs to the kitchen hadn't taken me long, and I was heading back up to my room in no time. I'd brought a tray up with a jug of water, and some leftover sandwiches my mom had made earlier. In case he was hungry.

However, what I saw when I entered my bedroom shocked the living daylights out of me.

"Jake!," I gasped, setting the tray down on the floor and locking the door behind me in a haste.

Jacob lay face down on the floor, his body lifeless. He'd obviously passed out when I'd left the room to fetch him a glass of water.

Dropping to my knees next to his unmoving form, my shaky hands pushed him over onto his back— which took great effort. Pressing my ear to his chest, a flood of relief washed over me as I heard his steady heart beat. But his body temperature had noticeably risen, and that scared me to no end. Not to mention his face was turning an ugly shade of yellow. Dark circles under his deep set eyes.

Crawling across the room, I fumbled around the pockets of his jeans until I found his cell phone. Thankfully, Sam was on speed dial.

"Jacob? You there?"

"No, S-Sam it's me. N-Nina."

"Nina! What's going on? Did he hurt you? Where are you guys? W-"

"Sam, p-please c-c-come over t-to my house," I stuttered, staring over at Jacob worriedly. "He.. Jacob p-passed out."

Then the line went dead.

Three days it had been since I'd last seen or heard from Jacob. Three days in which I spent my time worrying about him. Three days that I hoped he wouldn't run off like he had a month ago. Three boring days that seemed to go by at a snail's pace.

Billy and Sam had phoned me a couple of times, both saying basically the same thing; Jacob was doing perfectly fine. That he'd passed out because he'd been away for so long and needed time to rest. But they never told me where he'd actually been for those four weeks and/or what the purpose of that 'journey' was.

I was also ordered by them to stay away from Jacob until he was completely back to normal. So being the obedient girl I was, I obeyed. As much as it killed me.

"So any birthday plans? You know, for next month?" Kara asked, watching me expectantly as we headed towards my locker. Reminding me of the day it was Jacob's birthday.

That night had been so dramatic that I never even got to wish him a happy birthday, or give him his present. Maybe it was for the best though? He hadn't been his usual self that day anyway. I'd make it up to him next time I saw him… I still felt guilty though.

"I really don't know." I sighed as I pulled my locker open. "I can't afford a party, I'm broke."

Kara swatted me across the arm playfully. "Nina! You'll be turning eighteen! You have to do something. You know I'll help out."

"Thanks, I appreciate it, but-"

Someone cleared their throat behind us, causing us both to spin around. Kara almost collapsed. Almost.

"Hello ladies." Nick grinned, eyes piercing mine. "Hope I'm not interrupting anything."

Oh hello no! Not again. Was he ever going to give up?

"What do you want Fox?," I asked venomously. Gritting my teeth in anger.

He chuckled darkly to himself. "Very sassy Nina, I like it. Shows me you do have feelings for me."

Kara clutched her books to her chest, backing away from us. Shooting me a confused look.

"And what difference does that make to you, huh? Do you get off by making people hate you? 'Cause it sure seems like it."

A look flashed across his face, one that resembled hurt. "Can we just…" his gaze drifted over to Kara. "Could you give us a minute?"

"No! Kara wait!" I called after her as she scurried down the now empty hall. But she chose to ignore me. Listening to Nick instead.

"Forget your friend for a minute, we need to talk."

I wanted to slap him across the face again and tell him to get lost. I was sick of seeing him walking around the school with his head held high. Always dressed in the latest fashions. Looking down his nose at everyone. It was so cocky and self-absorbed.

Yet, all the girls loved him. Falling for his charm and good looks. Always flirting and praising him. Giving him the idea that he could do or say as he pleased. As though he was some great leader and not just a student at the Quileute Tribal School.

And you'd think that having all that confidence, and all those girls would be enough. That'd he'd be satisfied with all the attention he got. But no, it wasn't enough for a guy like him. He had to bother me with his cheekiness. Why you ask? Because… well I hadn't got the answer to that.

"Look, this has been going on for over two months now and I'm really starting to get pissed off." I started, my voice low. "I have no idea what you want from me. You never make things clear. It's like you're beating around the bush or something and I'm sick of it. So tell me Nick, why won't you leave me alone?"

To my complete and utter shock, he blushed. "I like you."

My eyes widened, breath catching in my throat. "You.. you what?"

"I like you.. a lot," he said quietly, running a hand through his long hair nervously.

Wait.. what?

This had to be some kind of sick joke. Nick didn't like me, it was impossible. He never showed any signs that he was attracted to me, and whenever we spoke, he acted like a complete jerk; Insulting Jacob whenever he got the chance to, forcing me to talk to him when I didn't want to, making smart remarks. This… no, he didn't like me.

Crossing my arms over my chest, I narrowed my eyes at him. "If this is some kind of joke then leave. I've had enough."

His eyebrows furrowed together. "I'm not joking, I wouldn't joke about that. I'm not that bad."

"You're not that bad? Really?," I asked sarcastically. Tapping my foot with impatience.

"Look, I know I've been an ass to you. I know. I just… remember I told you that I always see you looking at me?"

I nodded. "Yeah?"

"Well." He stepped forward, reaching for my hand. "I started watching you after that and I um.. I started to like you. You're really pretty."

"Nick," I sighed. Taking a step backwards, until I was pressed up against my locker. "I'm seeing someone."

His eyes grew dark with hatred. "Let me guess, Jacob Black?"

My heart skipped a beat at the sound of his name. "Yeah."

"What do you see in that dude?"

"Don't start, please. We've already spoken of this before."

He shook his head in disbelief. "But he's bad for you, he's in some sort of cult and I'm almost positive he does drugs. Oh and he's definitely on steroids. That growth spurt he took a while ago was not normal."

Clenching my fists, I tried to control my anger. "Don't say those things about him, they're not true. You don't even know him."

"OK, OK!" he held his hands up, feigning innocence. "But what about me?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're always looking at me Nina, I see you. You… you like me right?" he asked. Hope shimmering in his big eyes.

There were only so many ways to tell a guy you weren't ever interested. But unfortunately for me, I hadn't got the time to think up any. Especially as he stepped forward and tucked a stray strand behind my ear, the strong smell of his expensive perfume invading my nostrils. Reminding me that if I didn't speak up soon, he'd make a move on me.

"Nick…" I trailed off, not knowing how to start.

He mistook my awkwardness for something else. Something more intimate. And I realized that there was hardly any space between us. Our bodies extremely close. "Nina," he said softly. Eyes glazing over.

Biting down on my lip, I lowered my voice to a whisper. "It's not me… who likes you, I just watch you because… when your friend likes someone you just look… I'm sorry Nick."

As much as I disliked him, I was sorry. I was sorry for making him think that I liked him and I was sorry for hurting him by telling him the truth. That was the only time he'd ever been nice to me, and for once, I wondered whether maybe he was nice underneath it all.

Freezing, he slowly took a step backwards. "Your friend? But.. Nina I thought-"

"I'm sorry for making you think that-" the bell rang, signaling our first lesson. "Anyway I've got to get to class."

Before Mrs. Cook bites my head off.

He nodded slowly, his eyes sad. A bewildered expression on his face. "But I uh… okay then… I'll s-see you around."

"Yeah," I said, offering him a smile. "Bye."

And I ran as quickly as I could down the corridor, almost tripping over my own two feet in the process. Students shot me odd my looks. As though I had completely lost my mind. Maybe I had? Life was confusing enough as it was.

I'd never expected to have that kind of conversation with Nick. Never ever. But I was glad I cleared things up with him. He needed to know the truth. Even if it hurt. I just hoped he wouldn't approach me again.

You can't always get what you want.

Even I knew that.

That Friday evening, I lay on my bed, fantasizing about the children Jacob and I could make. I knew it was corny and wishful for me to do, but it brought me a sense of comfort I hadn't expected. They would have his dark eyes, and his silky, raven hair. In fact I wanted them to have his everything. He was far more beautiful than I was.

Then my thoughts led to how many children I would want. Four was what sprung to my mind instantly, causing me to giggle. They would play along First and Second beach, two boys and two girls, all born a year after each other. Their father would keep them safe, being the wolf that he was…

… but what if they inherited the gene that would make them transform? I didn't want that for them. It'd ruin all their dreams of going away to college and university. They'd have to stay in La Push and protect their people. Risking their lives.

"No," I whispered, unconsciously pressing my hands to my tummy. "My babies.. our babies…"

I was officially insane.

My mobile buzzed on the bed next to me, Billy was calling.

"Hello," I answered, sitting upright.

"Nina, it's Billy, how are you?"

I smiled. "I'm good, thanks. Yourself?"

"Never been better," he replied, cheerfully. "So listen up, Jacob's inviting you over for dinner. Can you make it?"

"Is he… he…" I couldn't think of the proper words to use, my excitement taking over my train of thought.

He chuckled. "Yes, he's doing perfectly fine now. So is that a yes?"

"Of course!" I squealed. "What time should I come?"

"Eight… well that's what he told me to tell you."

Jumping up off my bed, I skipped over to my wardrobe. "That's perfect, I'll be there."

"Alright then, I'll let him know. Goodbye for now."

"Bye, Billy," I replied before letting the mobile drop from my hand onto the carpet. I couldn't care less if it broke. I was going to see Jacob!

Rifling through my wardrobe, I pulled out a yellow summer dress I'd never worn before. My aunt Sandra had bought it for me before I'd left Seattle and I'd never had the opportunity to wear it. But now I had.

In the shower, as I lathered my body in lavender scented wash, I'd sung quietly to myself. My head up in the clouds. I hadn't felt this excited in a long time, and I wondered whether it was because I hadn't seen Jacob in three days. However, I knew it wasn't that at all or I would've been acting that way when I'd first seen him after his one-month disappearance.

There was just something in the air that night.

An hour later, I was speeding down the roads of La Push. My curled hair whipping into my face from the cool breeze that blew in from the open window. It felt like I was never going to make it, even though he lived just five minutes away.

Finally, I had reached my destination, and was out of my car in no time.

"Nina," Billy called as I jogged towards him, a big smile on my face. "Head on over to the garage, you'll find him there."

And so as fast as my feet could carry me, I ran towards the garage. My heart hammering against my chest, fighting to break free. The excitement I'd tried my hardest to bottle up completely exploding. Sending wave after wave of pure warmth through my veins. This was what love felt like.

Pushing the large, battered, wooden door open, my eyes widened as I took in the sight before me: the whole room had been cleared out and ridden of the gassy smell it always held; in the middle of the floor lay a red sheet with endless amounts of food atop of it; candles were placed all around, giving the room a beautiful glow. And last but not least, my Jacob stood in a dark corner, watching me from the shadows.

I was speechless… it was so wonderful. So romantic.

"You've kept me waiting," he said from where he stood, a smile in his voice. "Two minutes late, tut tut."

Pulling the door closed behind myself, I walked into the room, slowly. "That's your fault, you should've told me to come here instead of the house." I giggled.

He chuckled, hidden from my sight in the darkness. "I wanted to surprise you. Nothing wrong with that, if I must say so myself."

"Well you've done a marvelous job," I said, moving to sit down on the sheet. "It's really breathtaking."

Emerging from the shadows, he stalked towards me, a grin playing on his full lips. The sight of him never seized to take my breath away, and tonight… well he looked more manly than ever. Dressed in only a pair of black khakis, his upper body was exposed to me. Nothing but bulging muscle after bulging muscle. They seemed more defined somehow, and I wondered whether it was from the dimness of the room. Either way, he was magnificent. So masculine. So strong.

Taking a place next to me on the sheet, our gazes met and we both couldn't help the smiles that broke out onto our faces. Although he had changed; his long dark hair chopped off, eyes wiser than that of a teenager, features more mature looking. He was the Jacob that I fell in love with. The one that made me happy on the most miserable days. The one that owned my heart. And I was so happy to see him again. My love.

Reaching out, he ran the back of his hand down my cheek, love shimmering in his eyes. "I've missed you. Terribly."

"As have I," I replied, my voice barely a whisper as I leaned into his touch.

"I'm so sorry for the way I behaved before, it was unacceptable." Tracing his fingers over my parted lips, he drew his hand back to his side. "But I do have an explanation."

"Jake, it's OK, really. You were confused and.. hormonal. Don't apologize, it wasn't your fault."

Sighing, he rubbed the back of his neck. "It doesn't change the fact that I was out of control. I saw myself in Sam's eyes, I was touching you against your will. Your face.. you looked so frightened. I'm ashamed Nee."

Scooting closer to him, I took both his hands in mine. "Jake," I said. "Forget it, nothing happened-"

"Exactly," he said firmly. "Nothing happened, but I could've.. what if I… forced myself-"

"Jacob Black! You wouldn't have forced me or yourself into anything OK? That night, when you came back to mine, you didn't try anything. You just lay there next to me, as quiet as a mouse. Now please, just let it go. It's in the past."

He nodded. "Alright, I will. For you."

Without any further talk on that particular subject, we began to eat. There was so much food, I didn't know where to start. Jacob, on the other hand, knew exactly what he wanted. Mince pie. When I asked whether Emily had cooked most of the food, he surprised me by telling me he had done it all. Impressive for his age.

Knowing that everything was made by Jacob and Jacob alone, made things even more intimate. It showed me that we didn't need anyone's help when it wasn't necessary. That we could do things by ourselves. Like adults.

Besides, Jacob was nothing but a man now. His youth had been stolen away from him, no traces of a teenage boy left for me to see. As sad as that was. However, he was Alpha to his… pack? And everyone needs a strong leader. No matter what age said leader is.

"Tell me about your tattoo," I said after I was done eating, running my index finger over it. Following the strange pattern. "What does it mean?"

Setting his half-eaten brownie down, he gazed down at me. "It means I've accomplished things, that I've succeeded on my journey. I've made decisions, and I've made choices. And that I now belong to you, fully."

My jaw dropped. "This.. tattoo, it's about me?"

"Yes," he said honestly. "There would be no other reason for me to get one, it's not really my thing."

The first time I had seen the dark grey tattoo, I hadn't really paid much attention to its detail. I was so shocked by his new look, that I found his cropped hair to be more interesting. But now as I studied it, I noticed how beautiful it was. The meaning of it making it that much more wonderful.

"Who did it for you?," I asked, glancing up at his face.

"One of the Elders. It's not a design you can pay for Nee. It's tribal."

Staring into his dark orbs, I asked. "Jake, tell me about your journey. I want to know."

Jacob snaked his arm around my waist, pulling me flush against his side. The warmth his body radiated comforting me. "You don't mind long stories do you?"

"As long as they're about you, I don't," I murmured against his broad chest, my cool breath causing his nipple to harden. The sight turning my legs to jell-o.

"Five weeks ago, the day after I told you about imprinting, I was hanging out at Sam's place, bored out of my mind. Whenever you're there, you can't help but watch him and his imprint, Emily. They're so in love, so devoted to each other. All they care about is their well-being, and their children. So I studied them, and although they've got a wonderful relationship, one many people would kill for, I decided that I wanted something even more powerful than theirs. And the first thing that came to my mind was to go on a 'Spiritual Journey'.

"This journey only applies to shape-shifters, because a human boy wouldn't have the ability to complete the tasks. Years ago, our people would send their boys away on a ritual 'Vision Quest' to discover their spirit animal. It would consist of a couple of days out in the wilderness, with little or no food, and that was to summon a vision of one's protective animal. However, I'm different to those boys, I am the animal. So there was only one possible quest for me to do. That was to go on a 'Spiritual Journey' and prove to myself and my tribe, that I'm their greatest warrior.

"Of course, things are a little different nowadays. It's not possible for me to go killing animals, and to fight my pack members. They wouldn't really believe in those things anymore. People have lives, quests aren't their source of entertainment and excitement any longer. So the Elders came up with an idea for me; I was to leave La Push in wolf form and run all the way to Canada. There, I wouldn't dare phase back into my human form, I would remain in my fur, and live like a wild animal for four weeks. No decent food, no communication with anyone, no shelter. Nothing. And I was to think, long and hard, about what I really wanted from life. Without having anyone else's say in it."

Instinctively, my arms wound their way around his bare waist. Holding him securely. "What did you think of?"

"I thought of the pack, my father, my people, but mostly, I thought of you. There were so many things I needed to consider, so many decisions I had to make, that I was reluctant to think of them at first. The thing that scared me most was not being good enough for you. I know that we're united, and that nothing could compare to our relationship, but I realized that I was ignoring other things. Important things. Like how I'm penniless."

"Jacob, you know that I don't care about money-"

"But it's very, very important Nina. That's the point I'm trying to make. We look past these things, and focus on our feelings toward each other only. When we should be thinking about how we're going to build a life together." Pressing a kiss to my head, he continued. "You want that right? You want to be with me, forever?"

My heart fluttered in my chest as I tilted my head backwards to gaze up at him. "Yes, I'll always want that. I love you."

He smiled down at me, lovingly. "I'll always want that too. Always. But we need to start thinking about things honey, life isn't all fun and games. Someday we won't have our parents to look after us, we'll have to look after ourselves. Make our own money, make our own decisions. And we need to start working on things now. Before it's too late."

"I know," I mumbled, miserably. "Money is a problem."

"But that's not the only problem I thought of back in Canada. There are many problems with you and I being together. Your safety and well-being are very important to me, so unbelievably important. And with me being Alpha to the pack, I'm worried that I won't always be there for you. That I might be out in the woods somewhere, protecting everyone and giving my pack members orders. When you might be at home, needing me." He let out a gust of breath. "Then there's your family, and their hatred for me. And there's you."

"Me?" I asked, scrunching my nose up in confusion.

"Yeah, I thought about you going away to college. Sometimes I'd get visions of us, probably a result of my sleep deprivation, but I still saw them. And then I made decisions and choices."

"What were they?"

"Number one; I'd become a craftsman or a mechanic, so that I can earn money for us. Number two; I'd start working on the garage and build it into a home for us instead. Number three; Id stop phasing when we… we." He paused, lowering his voice to a husky whisper. "When we have children."

My eyes were as wide as saucers, and my breath had been caught in my throat. I was completely speechless. Jacob was going to do all that for us, to keep us together. To make me happy. I was overcome with so many emotions that I began to shiver against him. He was so perfect. So wonderful.

And he wanted children…

Bringing his free hand to my chin, he tilted my face and I found myself looking into sad eyes. "Jake?"

"Nee." He said, voice shaky. "In Canada, I made another decision. It had to do with you going to college…"

"And?" I urged, dying to hear what it was.

He stared off into the distance, his expression grim. "I'd let you go without putting up a fight. After I phased, the choice of going to college was taken away from me. But I won't take it away from you. You mean too much to me."

Desperate to show him affection for his touching decision, I attacked his neck with kisses. The smell of his cologne drafting up my nostrils. His raw, musky scent hardly evident on his skin. Much to my displeasure.

"Oh, Jacob!" I gasped out, turning my body so that our fronts pressed up against each other. My hands on his shoulders, holding him in place as my kisses moved north. Over his jaw, his cheek… "I don't know what I've done to deserve you."

But he wasn't responding, it was as if I wasn't even there. "I'm not finished," he told me, eyes meeting mine. "That decision was made before you told me you were leaving after…"

"Graduation," I finished.

"Yeah." Shaking his head, he laughed humorlessly to himself. "Now, I… I don't feel ready to let you leave. You'll be gone by summer, and when you start college, I don't even know if I'll ever see you again."

I sucked in a breath, shocked. "Jacob!"

"It's true Nee. I thought that you'd still live here, that your parents would still reside in your home when you left for college, and that you'd come here on weekends to see them. To see me. But now there's nothing holding you here-"

"Stop that!" I shook his shoulders, trying to knock some sense into him. "You're holding me here! We're together, we're in love. How can you say that?"

His lips trembled, eyes worrisome. "I had a nightmare in Canada, you… you met someone else in college. It was so real. I couldn't stop thinking about it for a week. He was the complete opposite to me; blond, blue eyed, curly hair. And he was.. he was good enough for you. He was smart, rich… a pale face. I worried about it.. because anything's possible in this world. Anything."

Shaking my head vigorously, I grabbed his face in my hands. "You think that I'd leave you for someone else? Are you crazy? Jacob I would never ever leave you. No one could ever compare to you. No one. I don't give a damn if you're not rich, or that you don't get A+ grades in your classes, and I certainly don't give a damn that you're not a pale face. Why would you assume…" trailing off, I searched his eyes. "I love you. Everything about you. I'd run away with you Jacob, I'd do anything for you. I'd live on the streets for you. I love you so much. So, so, so much."

"Nina, please don't leave me," he begged, lowering his forehead to mine. "Please don't go, stay here. Please. Your parents are making the wrong decisions for you. Please. I'll protect you, I know that I can. After my journey, I'm confident in my strength, and in what I can give to you. I've changed a little.. I feel more powerful. I look more powerful. Please. I'll be your knight in shining armor, I promise."

"Jacob, graduation is months away," I whispered. Not wanting to think of leaving him. It hurt too much.

"But it gets nearer with each day," he pointed out, squeezing his eyes shut. "Please, I'm begging you. Don't leave me. I can't be without you. It kills me. Please."

Pressing a kiss to his stubbly chin, my hands dropped to his shoulders once again. Massaging them in a soothing manner. "I promise I'll try."

"I'll start on the garage next week, and I won't stop at it. I swear," he whispered, lowering his lips to mine. "Then we'll move in together. Just don't ever give up on me."

"I won't, Jake," I said shakily, overcome with emotions.

"Don't ever leave me, Nee," he breathed out before kissing me. Slowly and sensually.

And I prayed that we'd figure out something.

Before it was too late.