First Fanfiction! I hope you enjoy it! (No copyright intended, all characters belong to Cassandra Clare)

CASTLES MADE OF SAND, CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT

Hello, Goodbye

"You say yes, I say no. You say stop and I say go go go, oh no. You say goodbye
 and I say hello; Hello hello, I don't know why
you say goodbye, I say hello"

"Then tell me Alexander. Tell me."

Magnus almost pleaded—or at least that was what Alec could deduct from his tone of voice. He yearned so badly to tell Magnus that it had been William who did this to him; left his mark on Alec's body. But he couldn't bring himself to do so—not because of the fact that William had essentially threatened him, but because he just couldn't do that to Magnus. If he had out right told Magnus that William had hit him, he would be setting Magnus up for a hard decision as to who he should side with in a fight that shouldn't have occurred.

His best friend or his boyfriend, that was who he would have to choose between and Alec was not willing enough to force Magnus into that inevitable position. Alec bit his lip and then shook his head, silently telling Magnus that now was not the right time. He needed to get home to his brother, because the fact that Maryse had told him that Jace said he only needed and wanted to talk to Alec, set his heart into a quick tantrum. For Jace had never needed Alec for anything before.

He conjured up a bunch of different scenarios in his mind as to what Jace was freaking out over. Could it be that he had somehow found out about Magnus and Alec being together, and now wanted to talk to Alec first hand about it? Alec doubted that option, or at least he wished greatly that, that wasn't the right option. It could be that Jace had found out that William had been the one to leave him bleeding and aching in the middle of an abandoned hallway of the Academy, after he had found Alec hunched over on the floor dry heaving due to the strong ache in his side.

Or it could be something completely left field that Alec couldn't even create in his mind. All he knew was that his brother needed him, and he would always be there for his younger siblings—to the best of his ability. Magnus and Alec hadn't said much to each other on the ride over to Alec's estate, seemingly they had other things on their minds and different pressing issues. Magnus wanted to know what had happened to Alec, and obviously who had caused the dark bruise along his ribs and the blossoming one on the bridge of his nose. But at the same time, Alec's mind was strongly concentrated on Jace.

Magnus drummed his long tan fingers on the top of his steering wheel, again in a wonderful rhythm that only a musician could come up with. He was more than pensive, in Alec's opinion, about this whole issue; and again Alec wished terribly that he could tell Magnus the truth. "So," Magnus cut through the silence that had engulfed them for a few minutes. "You're driving up with Jem and Tessa to the cabin right?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure. I haven't talked to them in awhile though," Alec replied glancing out of the car window at the passing evergreen and pine trees, which littered the side of the roadway.

"You'll have fun driving with those two. Their quite possibly the cutest couple I know, and more so, they're best friends." Magnus smiled to himself as he came to a halt at a four way stop. "You know, Will used to be in love with Tessa,"

"Really?" Alec asked, shock and surprise lacing his tone of voice.

"Yeah, but that was years ago. He never hated Jem for it though. He was obviously heart broken by the whole ordeal, but Will moves on from things fast." Magnus pushed forward on the pedal a little bit harder, thumping on the accelerator. "Or at least he used to," Magnus muttered lowly, but not low enough that Alec couldn't catch it.

"You're going up with him right?" Magnus nodded. "Why don't I go with you and Will can go with Jem?" Alec suggested. Magnus didn't answer him back immediately and this made Alec's hands sweat slightly. It should be an easy answer right?

"You know what, that's a great idea. We'll talk to them about it, because I much rather get stuck on the side of the highway with you at night than William," Magnus joked, grinning brightly. That comment though made Alec feel a bit uneasy, in regards to the fact that he basically implied that if he was trapped with William on the side of a highway, something would happen. Wasn't that what he had essentially or more so indirectly suggested? Magnus didn't notice Alec's unrest in the matter and continued to press on. "But William and I have a few things to... Take care of. So we'll see how it goes when the time comes."

Yeah, definitely Alec felt more than disgruntled by now. He gulped harshly as he felt the unrest in his stomach bubble up to his throat; threatening to burst through his clenched jaw—he shoved his discomfort in the matter down though, because he didn't want to settle even more stress onto Magnus' shoulders. Alec still couldn't expel from his mind the fact that Magnus seemed, at least, partially fine after what had happened to Olive. The sadness was there, in his forest green cat eyes that were flecked with, a now dimmed, gold. But otherwise he acted calm and cheerful at the same time, which Alec was glad for; but in retrospect it only indicated to Alec that Magnus was harbouring much deeper feelings about the situation, which were screaming to be let out.

"It's fine, I can go with Jem and Tessa. I don't want to impede on your time with Will," Alec said a bit venomously—he couldn't help it. William was a threat to him, he had made that perfectly clear the night of Homecoming, and William didn't like Alec and Magnus' 'friendship'. What was he capable of doing?

Magnus gave Alec a long side-long glance, measuring him up in some respect. He didn't say anything, however, to Alec and continued on towards Alec's manor house, taking the black tar roads in a hurried manner; whether that was because he wanted to get Alec home because of Jace or for some other reason, Alec didn't know; he didn't want to press the issue at all either. Magnus probably had other places to be, other people to see, and other plans to make. He knew what this was—what was happening to him. He was hastily falling into the stage in a relationship were you took anything and everything as a threat; and he definitely had William to blame for basically shoving him head-on into that stage.

Magnus had finally made it to Alec's house, parking just shy of the trees, there, that kept them rather hidden from the actual view of his family inside the house. He let the car idle as he unbuckled his seat belt and then in measured movements swung his leg around Alec's lap so that he was straddling him. Alec breathed in that which was Magnus: spearmint and some fruity body wash mixed with a bit of sweat and the slightly musky smell of what they had been doing the night before. It was sexy, nonetheless, and Alec could feel himself quickly become aroused underneath Magnus.

He clasped his cold hands around Alec's neck and brushed the tips of his fingers against the pieces of hair at the nape. "Call me later today?" Magnus said, more so in a questioning form rather than a demand. Alec bit his bottom lip momentarily and gave him a small ginger smile; the action catapulted Magnus to lean into Alec's body—in all the right ways—and clashed their lips together. Within seconds Magnus' tongue had deftly snaked its way into Alec's mouth; running across the roof of his mouth, causing him to shiver. Alec didn't catch on quickly at first—because of the substantial amount of distraction that Magnus created while straddling his lap—but somehow Magnus worked his hand between them and cupped Alec through his pants.

It was a sort of whimper-gasp that Alec let out against Magnus' lips. The feeling was sensational and sensitive; he rested his head against the crook of Magnus' neck as his fingers started to work Alec over. Alec began to nip the skin at the side of Magnus' neck, trailing his tongue in slow uneven lazy patterns against the smooth tawny skin. Strong tremors coursed through his body, jerking him forward in his seat; he bit Magnus, rather harshly, without even realizing what he had done. Magnus pulled back to look at Alec, his hand instantly leaving Alec's arousal, with a devious smirk on his face.

"Did you just bite me?" Magnus enquired with a partial raise of his eyebrow.

"Uhh, yes..." Alec blushed, while Magnus raised his hand to the side of his own neck—dancing his finger tips over the skin that Alec had just bit.

"That might leave a pretty nasty mark," Magnus laughed.

"Well, I'm pretty sure you left a bunch of marks all over my back last night," Alec quipped. It was glorious feeling Magnus' fingers sink into the fragile skin of his back as he brought Magnus to the edge. More than likely, Alec probably had a series of half crescent moon shapes on his back. "I should get in there. I don't want Jace to wait that long," Alec regretted saying that he had to leave Magnus, because in all reality he was planning on spending the day with him; but he knew that Jace needed him right now, for whatever reason, Alec was unsure of.

Magnus looked a bit sullen, as if someone had denied him of something he had begged for; but he accepted Alec's notion and moved from straddling his lap, to sit in his own seat once again. "Remember: call me." Magnus reminded him as he belted himself up again. Alec nodded his head in compliance, leaned over the middle console to give Magnus a chaste kiss, and then bounded his way out of the car and across his front lawn.

He opened the front door in a rush and was surprised to see Isabelle standing right in front of him. "So you were at Magnus' house last night." She wiggled her perfectly arched eyebrows suggestively. Like always, Isabelle was acting rather lively, but there was also something off about her; maybe it was the fact that her gestures and emotions at the moment didn't seem to meet her dark eyes.

"Yes Iz," Alec rolled his eyes, but then thought better of it. "Thanks for, uhh, covering for me while it lasted."

"Yeah no problem. I expect you to do the same for me now, at least," Isabelle shrugged her shoulders, letting a few strands of ink black hair fall forward. She was dressed in a simple deep red plaid cotton button-up and white sleep bottoms, indicating that she had no qualms to get out of the house at all; because usually, by now, she would be dressed and ready to go.

"Jace," Alec said blankly, pointing towards the archway that lead to the bedroom portion of the house, "he's in his room?"

"Yeah, and won't come out of it. I don't know why, but he only wants to talk to you," she snaked her arms across her chest.

"Thanks. Mom already told me," he started to walk towards the archway, and down the hallway to Jace's bedroom. The door was left slightly ajar, with a bit of light peaking out between the cracks. Alec knocked lightly to signify his presence and then made his way into the room. Jace was sitting at the edge of his bed with his elbows resting on top of his knees and his head in his hands. The way his shoulders dipped downwards told Alec that Jace was far worse than Alec could have imagined. His hands seemed as if they were in a vice grip through his golden hair; while his left foot was tapping nervously on the hardwood flooring of his bedroom. It was a sort of timorous habit for Jace—to shake essentially—while Alec was subjected to blushing, biting his lip, and rubbing the back of his neck.

"Jace what's going on?" Alec wanted to break the tension that flooded the room, ever since he walked in. Jace didn't look up at Alec, presumably ignoring him, and continued to tap his foot insistently. "Jace, come on. Didn't you want to talk to me? Because that's what—"

"Clary might be pregnant." Jace blurted out; trailing his hands down from his hair so he could cover his face. Alec's eyes widened on their own accord and his lips fell slack open. He felt everything within him cease up in that moment—he wasn't all too sure if what he heard, had been correct.

"What?" Alec nearly screeched—although he didn't mean to—and reached behind him to shut Jace's bedroom door firmly. Jace shook his head briefly and then looked up at Alec. His golden yellow eyes were dimmed substantially—like Magnus' had been—and it was apparent to Alec that he was in a state of distress. They held one another's gaze for an insurmountable amount of time; just starring at one another, not exactly conveying any kind of message, because really Alec didn't know what to say.

"At Homecoming, we... Well, we had unprotected sex." Jace sighed loudly, letting out a deep gust of air. This was actually happening and again, Alec didn't know what to say; how to react; what to do. He wished terribly in that moment that he could be the big brother he deemed to be; the one who was capable of telling his brother that everything was going to be fine—and meaning it. Quite readily, Alec didn't know if everything was going to be okay, but he hoped that it would.

"You didn't think about using a condom...?" Alec asked, more so because he had nothing better to ask and or say. He scoffed under his breath to himself, Jace needed Alec—that was extremely evident—and yet Alec didn't think he was the right person to go to in this situation.

"No! I don't know why. I was just so... Caught up in being with her, that I didn't think." Jace ran his fingers through his golden locks once again, upsetting the pattern of curls on top of his head. "And now she won't see me. She won't even talk to me. I've tried calling so many times, Alec. I even resorted to calling John and he told me that Clary didn't want to talk to me for awhile." His teeth began to clatter together, as if he were on the verge of breaking down. But Alec knew that he wasn't someone to let weakness overcome him.

"Jace you do understand that it's only been two days? You guys don't know if she is pregnant or not—" Alec was attempting to instill a bit of hope within Jace, before Jace cut him off abruptly.

"Yeah, well what are the chances that she isn't pregnant? Almost slim to none!" Jace shouted and Alec placed his index finger against his lips to warn him that the others—besides Maryse—were in the house.

"I—I'm sorry that this is happening Jace. I wish I could do something—"

"Just please be there for me." Jace cut in once again, his eyes glazing over slightly. It was quite possibly the first time Alec had seen Jace breakdown after the accident... "Honestly, I won't be able to do this alone." His voice wavered as he took in a strangled breath.

"Jace," Alec went to sit down beside him on his bed and placed his hand on Jace's shoulder lightly. "Of course I'll be there for you. With whatever you need. You're my little brother and I... I won't fail you. I—I can't fail another brother." Jace tilted his head to the side to regard Alec, and the way their eyes connected spoke words to both Jace and Alec, as they both remembered the same event that took place all those years ago. "But, you'll have Clary too. She comes first."

"I know that Alec," Jace snarled. Alec decided to take his hand away from Jace's shoulder at that moment, but Jace made to stop him, by placing his hand over top of Alec's. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be so abrasive. Clary isn't speaking to me right now, so how could I possibly put her first? I want to, but she isn't letting me."

"By giving her the space she wants right now, you're being there for her—respecting what she wants." Alec suggested in a low tone.

"But this isn't a one-sided situation. This is as much her situation to deal with as it is mine." Jace let his hand drop away from Alec's and stood up abruptly. He paced the space right in front of his bed with his hands clenched tightly at his sides. Every cord of muscle in his arms was tightened beyond belief; he was so tense again, that Alec didn't realize they had taken such a turn for the worst. "There's more I have to tell you."

"What more could you say? Are you going to tell Izzy, mom and dad about this? Does Clary's family know?" Jace shook his head quickly.

"No, when I called John he didn't give any indication to me if he knew or not. I'm not going to tell mom or Izzy for as long as I can hold out," Alec was about to object to that, but Jace continued on with an even voice. "And I'm definitely not talking to dad." The way he said the last sentence so venomously, piked Alec's interest substantially. Something was off... Something was terribly wrong.

"What... What did he do?" He questioned, fearing the worst, hoping for the best, anticipating a mix of emotions.

"This morning I... I went out to grab the mail because dad asked me to. I was just looking through a bit of it and then... I found a letter from an abortion clinic. I started flipping out because I was thinking 'Why would Clary do this without asking me?'"

"Jace, again, it has only been two days." Alec interjected.

"Yeah I know! But I haven't been able to think straight for the past couple of days okay? So I was being irrational and tore through the letter without thinking, but Alec, it was addressed to dad." Alec felt that sinking feeling within himself again, as if someone was sucking the air completely out of his lungs while filling him up with a bunch of weights that brought him down.

"What do you mean it was addressed to dad?" It didn't feel as if it was his voice escaping from his lips. He couldn't comprehend properly what Jace was insinuating to him—he didn't want to comprehend it properly.

"He... I think I know, now, where he's been for the past year." Jace dropped his voice to a dull whisper, gazing deeply into Alec's eyes, for he knew how much this would affect both of them. "Annamarie Highsmith, that's her name. She... She got an abortion and the consent papers were signed by dad as the biological father of the baby." Alec's hands began to shake on their own accord. He let out a strangled gasp through his—apperantly—clenched teeth.

"He was with some other woman this whole time? For a year, he left us for another woman?" Alec questioned with an intense amount of opium lacing his voice. How could his father, Robert, do this to them? Without any indication as to where he really was? For a year, Alec had waited, as well as everyone else, wondering where their father had escaped to. And in that time they had only been graced with scarce phone calls. He felt his heart twist in response to all of this; he wasn't expecting any of this to be sprung on him. But he had to be strong, for his family, even if it was broken.

"It really puts things into perspective now, doesn't it?" Jace snapped sarcastically.

"Do you think mom knows?" Alec asked so quietly, that he wasn't sure, at first, if Jace had heard him or not. An abundance of thoughts were flowing feverishly throughout his mind, and he couldn't get a proper grip of his emotions. The number one thing in his mind was the fact that Alec was exactly like his father in almost everything they did, and that scared him.

"Of course she knows. She has to. Maryse knows everything." Jace rolled his eyes slightly, possibly attempting to lighten the tension inside of the room.

"Then why," Alec stood up slowly his voice growing in intensity, "would she let him back into our house? He got another woman pregnant! How could he do that to us? To mom?" He sputtered out some of the thoughts within his mind, while simultaneously raising his voice to a shout.

"I don't know. I haven't told dad about the mail that was for him yet—"

"Are you going to?"

"To be honest, Alec, I'm not sure I will be able to stand the sight of him without wanting to punch him in the face right now. I... I have Clary to deal with and it is more than I can handle at the moment." The imminent distress returned to Jace's eyes. He looked like a small frightened boy who was locked in a dark room, helplessly calling out for someone to come get him, and receiving no response. Alec wanted to reach out for Jace and tell him that he was there, that he was going to rescue him—help him—at least.

"I'll talk to him." Alec suggested with such finality to his voice. He crossed the space between Jace's bed and the door, diverting Jace's body completely.

"Alec are you sure...?" Jace questioned just as Alec clasped the door knob between his tense, slightly shaking, hand. "You aren't necessarily the most cut throat person I know, who will get down to the matter at hand."

"I just... I have to talk to him about this. I—I have to." He shrugged and looked down at his hand, which was paler than the rest of his body as his grip around the door knob became increasingly strong. He wasn't going to let something like this muddle over in his mind for days; he wasn't going to let his father go on acting like absolutely nothing was wrong, when Alec was screaming bloody mercy on the inside. He wouldn't do that to himself and likewise he wouldn't do that to Robert. Because he couldn't let Robert think that everything was okay—that wasn't fair. But did Robert really deserve anything even close to fair at the moment?

"Okay, well you might as well take this with you," Jace reached over to his bed side table and pulled out a cream colored letter. He placed it into Alec's waiting hands, "he won't be able to talk around this at all." Alec nodded and with that he opened the door, went out into the hallway, and began to search for Robert.

A/N: Don't be mad at me! I was meaning to update on Monday, but then fanfiction wouldn't let me upload anything. Then I was going to update yesterday, but I was out of the house all day and didn't have any time at all to do so. And then this morning I went to adopt a cat named Skeeter! So, sorry you guys! You'll be happy to know that the next chapter is almost done, so that means a speedy update after I update 'Pillars of Sand' sometime this week. I hope you liked this chapter! Jace to me has always been someone who makes rash decisions and assumptions on just about everything, and obviously you can tell that he is freaking out over something that isn't so concrete yet. Oh! And a bit of Magnus and Alec at the beginning; you have to admit that there are those points in a relationship where you do become jealous. It happens to everyone, and definitely Alec was forced into that position by Will. I also wanted to thank you guys for all of the lovely reviews last chapter, it really made me so happy, you have no idea!

So drop a hello and tell me what you thought about this chapter :) Review please?

Amber,