First Fanfiction! I hope you enjoy it! (No copyright intended, all characters belong to Cassandra Clare)

CASTLES MADE OF SAND, CHAPTER THIRTY NINE

Across the Universe

"Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes, They call me on and on across the universe,
Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box, They tumble blindly
as they make their way across the universe."

He hadn't consciously decided on his next destination; mainly he just let the insistent purr of his car and the steady drive guide him. His mind was way more disconnected from everything it seemed, because of the previous day; he just wasn't all there and he desperately wanted to obtain the feeling of being whole again soon.

Somehow Magnus had found himself parked against the worn down grey slated curb, just outside of Sage's bar. He let his car idle for a few minutes outside while he sat there, and contemplated in his head if he felt... Strong enough to face Sage. Sage, who was one of the biggest connections to his mother and her early life; Sage who probably use to be madly in love with Olive; Sage, who cared for Magnus as a best friend—a brother—a son.

He didn't know how long he sat in his car, but at some point he decided to face the inevitable. Shutting his car off, locking it, he finally made his way towards the Cherry colored mahogany door of Sage's bar. He opened it with ease and was instantly hit with some of his favorite smells: weathered, run down wood and hard liquor, a mixture of scent that only Sage's bar could obtain. Sage was behind the bar at the back of the room—as Magnus would have suspected—seemingly running a red and white checkered wash cloth over the same spot on the top of the bar twice.

His structural chin and jaw was filled with greying brown scruff that was left uncut for a couple of days. His dark blue plaid shirt was wrinkled beyond belief and the way his shoulders were dipped down—curving his usually straight firm back—signified to Magnus that he was more than depressed about the whole situation with Olive, if not as well, his mother Palmer.

For a second Magnus regretted coming into the bar in fear that this could only bring him even more sadness, but then Sage looked up—as if sensing Magnus' prescene—and gave him a weak smile that was nevertheless inviting at the same time. The whole room wasn't exactly full, but it was full enough that Magnus wasn't able to make out any of the conversations he passed—not that he wanted to—because it was drowned out by the abundance of voices all speaking at once. In no time at all, Magnus found himself perched in front of the bar opening right at the side. Sage slung his wash cloth over his left shoulder and took a few hesitant steps forward.

He pushed the little half door to the bar open and enveloped Magnus in a tight embrace. They both placed a hand on one another's backs and slapped the spot just between their shoulder blades—then squeezed tightly. It felt as if they were both attempting to grasp onto each other for dear life; fearing that they would somehow drown if the other let go. "How are you holding up, boy?" Sage said roughly in his ear, easing back out of Magnus' hold.

"I'll get there." Magnus assured remorsefully. There was no point in lying and or evading Sage, who could see right through him, on occasion. "How are you though?"

"I knew about Olive too, so I had a bit of time to think things over. And I'm sorry that no one found it fit to tell you about her sickness. We didn't want to worry you—" Magnus held his left palm up, stopping Sage's speech.

"Dad already told me the same thing. I'm mad as hell, I can tell you that. But I will move on from this. It hurts to know I've lost another—mother, but they would have wanted me to continue with my life..." Magnus trailed off and looked down onto the chipped bar top. His words didn't exactly register with his soul completely. "... Right?" Sage gave Magnus a long hard look, his eyes seemingly contemplative.

"Your mother would be so proud of you. So proud." He raised his hand, briefly, to the stubble on his chin and scratched it lightly, closing his eyes, before he returned to standing back behind the bar. Magnus moved to take a seat right in front of Sage, as he began to prepare a drink. He placed it in front of Magnus as soon as he was done. "Scotch on the rocks."

"Thank you," Magnus took the drink gleefully out of temptation and downed it within a couple of gulps.

"You know Magnus, I can tell that you still torture yourself over your mothers death. It's there in those eyes of yours." Sage stated, to Magnus' surprise. He tilted his head to the side, regarding Sage as if he were some type of foreign alien object.

"What would give you that idea in the first place, Sagimir?" Magnus rose his tone slightly. Something about what Sage had said set off a form of fiery anger within him. It started in the pit of his stomach, festering, churning, until it turned into a white hot rage that flooded his veins. He wasn't all too sure if he could keep his emotions cooled down or not.

"Don't you raise your voice at me now. I know you, and even if you don't want to admit it, you blame yourself." He set out another drink in front of him and Magnus growled at his implication before taking the alcohol within his hand—the chilled cut glass, biting his fingertips—and downing it faster than he had the first time.

"You don't know what you're talking about," Magnus scoffed as he clenched his fist around the glass he held in his hand. Someone, a little ways down at the bar, gestured over to Sage, tapping on his glass steadily, but Sage paid him no heed at all.

"I don't? I don't know how it feels to know that, that beautiful woman is gone from this world and I could have had a chance to stop it from happening? We all think about the possibilities Magnus, you're just the one who continues to bottle it up inside of yourself as if those thoughts aren't there." Sage said in a tormented voice. Magnus knew that this was both sadness and anger talking; but Sage didn't need to say those things to Magnus at the moment, at all. Or at least, Magnus didn't want to hear those things being said to him. It broke something within him, a piece to the puzzle that was Magnus—being slowly chipped away.

"Stop it." He said lowly—menacingly—and Sage took this as a clue to back off just a bit with the anger and desperation in his words. Magnus sat there staring into Sage's eyes which were clouded over with red. It took a few drawn out moments for Sage to speak again, given the fact Magnus made no move to do so ither. "I kept asking your mother 'is this was enough'," Sage dropped his voice and looked down, watching the sheens of waxy light on top of the weathered bar top. "If she was finally able to say that she had found what she had always been looking for. She would say 'yes' every time, but that animated tinge to her voice would never meet those eyes."

Sage took a deep breath in and then let a long gust of air out through quivering lips. He wasn't the strongest of people, that Magnus knew, he could become emotional fast. "Those eyes told us all that she just wasn't satisfied yet, she couldn't be." He began to play with the rim of a shot glass he had sitting on the bar top in front of Magnus. Magnus watched his fingers with ease, absorbing everything and taking it in like a sharp stab wound to his mangled heart. "Your father tried. He gave her the world, Magnus; marriage, a house, a stable life. He gave her you. But Palmer was always searching for that next step, and at some point she had finally decided that she just wasn't meant for this world, Magnus."

Magnus felt like screaming out all of the frustration he had packed within his mind for seven years, but crying out for his mother just wasn't an option anymore—in which he wished it could be. "She was meant for the heavens," Sage went on. "Where she could finally obtain everything she had ever wished for: More." Magnus continued to look down, not wanting to meet the steely gaze, he was sure, Sage was giving him now. Somehow he found himself slightly nodding his head in compliance and he quickly shut his eyes as he felt hot tears sting the backs of his eyes. He hated crying so much, it made him feel weaker than he already was.

He had cried while holding Alec, as he slept, in the early morning hours and had thought that maybe, just maybe, he would be able to reign in his emotions for the day. He could feel his hands starting to involuntarily shake, and instantly he pulled them back from the bar top so he could hide them in his lap. He remembered how he used to shake at night for the first couple of years after his mothers death; always wanting to break out of his spells, but never being able to.

A few deep calming intakes of breath was all it took to keep Magnus' emotions at bay. "How about we talk about something else Sage?" He almost pleaded; his voice breaking on Sage's name.

"Are you going to tell me more about that new girl you have? Do I still need to bust out a Sex on the beach or did something happen between you two?" Magnus could tell that Sage wanted to continue on with what he had been previously discussing; but he respected Magnus' wishes and changed onto the topic of his relationship. He didn't want to upset Magnus anymore than he already seemed to have done. Magnus shook his head and laughed, for he knew exactly what he was about to say but couldn't quite imagine Sage's reaction. Shock? Disgust? Happiness?

"First of all, I'm gay. Or at least bisexual." He looked up at Sage with a smile on his face. Sage looked like a deer caught in headlights for a moment as he took in Magnus' revelation. "His name's Alexander Lightwood—"

"Robert's boy?" Sage's ears perked up instantly at the mention of 'Lightwood'.

"How do you know him?" Magnus could guess the most obvious answer, be he wanted Sage to clarify.

"I used to hang around them when Gerald first met Palmer in eleventh grade." Sage shrugged. It was fascinating to Magnus, to think that somehow most of their parents and adult friends were connected in some way or another.

There was now a couple of angry customers just a ways down from Magnus gesturing and yelling at Sage for service. "Hey! Can't you see I'm talking here? Wait a moment." Sage barked back at them, waving his hands in big wide gestures. "Now go on," he leaned down on his elbows in front of Magnus.

"You don't mind me being gay? You don't mind me having a boyfriend?" He quirked his eyebrow high on his forehead while pursing his lush lips together. Sage gave him and incredulous look, then scoffed under his breath.

"No. Why would I? If you like the kid enough to call him your boyfriend, then who am I to judge? As long as you're happy—that's all that matters. Plus, I kind of had an inkling that you were anyways, what with all the glitter..." Sage smiled a beaming smile. It was characteristic to him, and Magnus was glad to see that, that hadn't gone away. "Tell me some details."

"He's beautiful," Magnus said matter—of—factly, sighing faintly as he did so. Livid lake blue eyes scuttled across his vision, and pale defined hip bones.

"I can imagine. Maryse was always a beauty." He reminisced. "How's the sex life?" He asked rather bluntly, causing Magnus to choke on, air, basically.

"I think you need to get over there and serve your other customers," Magnus laughed hoarsely as he started to get up out of his seat; slowly backing away from Sage.

"That good huh?" Sage wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Magnus internally cringed. He regretted telling Sage anything at all. He should have just kept his mouth shut for a little while longer.

"I'm never coming here again." Magnus laughed even louder than before and started to make his way towards the Cherry colored mahogany entrance. He would have loved to stay longer but at the prospect of revealing more than was necessary about Alec's and his relationship, he wanted to get out of there as fast as possible.

"Oh, you'll be back, Bane." Sage called over to him as he pushed the door open and was led out into the fresh morning air. The air was the perfect combination crisp wind and hot humidity, for the morning time.

"We meet again," drawled a low sultry voice. Magnus cringed, the fine hairs on his arms standing to attention almost instantly. That voice did a number on his nerves, but definitely not in a pleasurable or good way. He turned to his right, regarding the voice that had addressed him. Willow stood there, against one of the old dark green light posts along the curb of the sidewalk—leaning with her hip jutted out to one side. She was in a tight black, shimmering, thin strapped, romper that licked the tops of her olive thighs, with nude waxy pumps to top off her look. Her curly brown hair was pulled to one side, held by a silver and gold brooch which was designed to resemble a sun and its rays. Those yellow-hazel eyes of hers were dancing with delight—she never was one to move on from things—at the prospect of catching Magnus again.

Looking at her now, made Magnus want to somehow go into the past so he could change the wave of thoughts he had back then that led him to dating her. However spiteful that may of sounded, he didn't necessarily care because it was, well, Willow.

"How come we keep bumping into each other at the bar?" She smiled while biting her bottom lip. That did nothing for him; not like the image of Alec biting his bottom lip did, which was absolutely sexy.

"You know I come here quite a bit, I wouldn't put it past myself to believe you just wait around to spring on me." Magnus smirked maliciously. There was always something about her that fired up his temper in substantially large amounts. Possibly it was the fact that she was so sure of herself in everything she said and did, rivaling Magnus' sureness of himself, to new levels. Or maybe it was the fact that she couldn't take no for an answer half the time and didn't know when to quit. But maybe, in the farthest remote parts of Magnus' mind, it was because she had the same eyes as his mother.

"That's cute that you think I still want you." Willow tilted her chin up a bit and laughed. The white glitter on the inside of her eyes sparkled in the morning light overhead. It was now fastly approaching October, which meant the morning sun came fast, lasted to just before evening and began to dip down on the horizon before supper. She stepped closer to him, and he didn't have it in himself to move away from her. Oh, how easy it would be just to make his way over to his car and leave her standing on the curb by herself.

"I don't think you still want me. I know you do." He tilted his head to the side defiantly, letting a few black strands of his hair fall into his eyes. He watched, with great fascination, Willow's finger tips twitch for a second, as if she were about to reach out and sweep the hairs back.

"Can we be normal to one another? I know what happened between us wasn't ideal..." Willow tried to appear sincere, in Magnus' opinion, but he wasn't having it. He snorted at her words and crossed his arms over his chest; arching his back slightly to stand taller.

"Wasn't ideal? You cheated on me."

"Not that you care," Willow practically snarled and then took a moment to regain her composure. He could see that he was chipping away her outer exterior slowly and he loved it.

"You're right. I don't care." Magnus agreed with an impish grin, his voice stoic and sound. "Is there a reason that you stopped to talk to me?"

"I just wanted to know where we stood? Seeing as we will be spending this whole weekend together..." Willow slithered up closer to him. Her body was now flush against his and he had to keep from choking on the amount of perfume she was wearing. It flooded his senses in the worst possible way, making him light headed. He attempted to push her away from him, by placing his hands on her slightly curvy hips. But instead he got the opposite reaction when she took his gesture as a proposition and placed her hands on his shoulders—gripping tightly.

"What do you mean?" Magnus had a sinking feeling in his gut and he hoped she wasn't saying what he thought she was...

"Sebastian invited me to Jem's cabin!" She squealed, making the sinking feeling in Magnus' stomach solidify.

"Most likely, only, because you're such a good lay." He scoffed and rolled his eyes. He felt like beating some sense into Sebastian at the moment, but knew better than to do so. When they got to Jem's cabin, Friday, after school he would make sure to at least do something to express his feelings about this to Sebastian.

"I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or not." She licked her glossy lips, staring at his lips intently. He pushed even harder on her hips, hating the feeling of her body so close to his. He much rather the feeling of Alec's tall muscled body against his, preferably with the minimalist amount of clothing on... In his bed... Under the sheets... He had to stop his thoughts there, in fear that the pleasure that was pulsing through his body at those thoughts would become misinterpreted by Willow.

"It wasn't supposed to be a compliment." He finally pushed her away from his body, feeling a release of tension in his muscles as he did so.

"Whatever. Hey, if you're not doing anything today we should—"

"Hey Magnus!" Oh thank the heavenly lords, Magnus thought as he heard the voice of an angel. Tessa and James were coming around the corner of a small book store, hand in hand. Her voice flooded around them as they came closer, halting whatever Willow was about to suggest to Magnus. He walked over to them and wrapped his arm around James' shoulder, using his other to point towards the pair.

"Sorry, I've got plans with them already. We're uhm..." Magnus grappled for an excuse that would lead to an impossible way for her to follow them.

"—Going to Idris for the afternoon." Tessa supplied; always the quickest thinker of the lot of them.

"Oh well, okay. I guess I'll see you all this weekend." Willow beamed and went over to hug Tessa swiftly. Magnus almost choked on a laugh that bubbled in his throat when he saw the scowl on Tessa's face as Willow hugged her. James glanced to Magnus momentarily, his liquid silver eyes in questioning.

"Huh?" James said out loud, not entirely catching on to the fact as to why she might be spending time with them on the weekend. Willow straightened herself and fixed the short hem of her romper, flicking strands of curls over her shoulder.

"Didn't Sebastian tell you that he invited me as his date to your cabin?" She asked, widening her yellow-hazel eyes to appear as an innocent part to the ordeal.

"Uh... No he didn't mention anything." Magnus could tell that James was fighting off a pout, as he pursed his lips tightly together. But he knew that James, being nothing but goodness, wasn't going to deny even Willow of anything. "I guess, we will... See you there then." He shrugged and Magnus sighed. For once, he didn't want James to be so nice, but he knew that he would be asking for a lot.

"Okay! So right after school?" Willow started to walk away, swaying her hips in that all too familiar way. Magnus was sure she was doing that to get his attention—to somehow rouse his memories. In which it did; he could clearly see her walking across his bedroom floor to the en-suite doors, wearing nothing but a skimpy thong, swaying her hips in the exact same way that she was now. It made him want to retch on the side of the road.

"For sure," Tessa smiled, or at least tried to smile. She definitely wasn't the biggest fan of Willow, as Magnus wasn't also. Willow waved as she departed and turned her back on them, taking long strides with her long legs down the block. Tessa rolled her eyes and cursed under her breath briefly, resulting in James laughing at her obscurities and kissing her on the top of her head.

"We could always give her the wrong directions." James suggested, which made them both join in with a short laughter. "Or, you know, lock her in one of the rooms at the cabin."

"Sounds fantastic to me." Magnus replied and took out his phone from his back pocket. He checked through his messages and was more than disappointed to see that Alec hadn't tried to contact him yet. "Do you two want to go to Idris for the afternoon, possibly?" James looked over to Tessa for confirmation who smiled back at him brightly.

"Absolutely, I think we will be needing a nice day out, before school tomorrow. Your car or mine?" James asked as he linked his fingers, again, tightly through Tessa's.

"It doesn't matter, let's just get out of here."

A/N: I'll be honest, I avoided this chapter like the plague. I don't know why, I just couldn't pump this out in the right way. There's been a lot on my mind, and I'm just trying to prepare myself to write to tizzy between Robert and Alec. Plus my week has been so emotionally stressful, please forgive me! Then, there's the Cabin chapters, which will be tons of fun and full of smut! Excited? I know I am. You guys have been waiting for it long enough, and it will be here in approximately, five chapters? (The Lemon). But don't hold me to that, it could be sooner or a bit later. Sorry for the long wait, I wanted to update 'Pillars of Sand' before this, because it is poorly neglected, but I didn't even get to that... You can tell how scattered I am ): One thing I wanted to address, many of you said that Jace shouldn't be freaking out yet, and I absolutely agree with you! Like Alec said, "It has only been two days." Next chapter I will include a snippet from the Cabin chapters, and I need your help to decide which one (: Review with either A or B!

Review pretty please with some cookie dough on top?

Amber,